Hayden Panettiere's Fans Don't Understand How She Has Sex With Her Giant Boyfriend
Hayden Panettiere is 5'1" and her boyfriend Wladimir Klitschko is 6'6", so the image of her balancing on all fours on two plastic crates while he hits it from the back might fill your head when topic of them having sex comes up, but we pretty much know how it works. Right? Right. But some of Hayden's fans need to be taken into the corner and given a sex ed. class using a treasure troll doll and a Stretch Armstrong, because they have no idea. The mystery of how the elf mounts the giant plagues them so!
Hayden was on Ellen (via UsWeekly) today and talked about how some of her fans ask her how it works. Hayden basically tells them my life motto: where there's a peen, there's a way!
"He is quite a bit bigger than me. I get the prudest people coming up to me and they're like, 'Does it work?' Yeah, it works. We find a way. Where there is a will, there is a way![The people who ask me how sex works with my boyfriend] are very conservative people most of the time but that just have to know. Like, 'I have to know, I just have to ask you this question. I'm really sorry but…'"
It's really not that hard, people. Wladimir lies very still on a hard surface and two trapeze artists hang from silk ropes on either side of Hayden. Then a couple of leprechauns with steady hands hold Wladimir's dick up as the trapeze artists gently lower Hayden on top. But they can't put her down all the way or Wladimir will do vag-to-mouth without even pulling out. Internal organs would get rearranged and tonsils would get knocked out... It wouldn't be a good thing. There's always an ambulance from the doll hospital standing by if that ever happens. SEE! Simple!
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Dude must have a massive dick. 11 inches maybe? *licks lips*
Submitted by TimC on Tue, 04/12/2011 - 11:49pm.
That's like mating a female chihuahua with a male great dane. She's gonna need a cesarean just to have an abortion to save her life before the end of the 1st trimester.
haaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
I think men like tiny women because it's legal pedophilia.
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"He stole from tourists. Everyone steals from tourists. He stole honest. He put his hand in their pockets."
I think Hayden just wanted an opportunity to share with the world that she is an adult woman who has a sex life, as opposed to the Benjamin Button midget she appears to be.
I'm 5'3 and my boyfriend is 6'3. It all works the same. Peen in the hole of your choice. I mean really.
Submitted by saltydog88 on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 1:42pm.
@boxing insider - I call total bullshit on everything you've said. Your first post said Wladmir "has been strongly rumored to be GAy back in Europe for years!" and then a few posts later your story changes to "I know him personally...I know the guy he bangs"
if that were true why wouldn't you have just said that in the first place? If you're going to make shit up at least be consistent about it
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First - I didn't plan to confess I know him and his BF. And the fact I know him doesn't deny hi IS strongly rumored as GAY. You don't have to take my word for it - check some American or German boxing forums (if you speak German, of course) - it's all there.
By the way - Hayden is not his first "cover". Wlad tried this shit with Karolina Kourkova too right before this affair with Panettiere. But model girl only agreed for photo session and refused to "play a GF".
@boxing insider - I call total bullshit on everything you've said. Your first post said Wladmir "has been strongly rumored to be GAy back in Europe for years!" and then a few posts later your story changes to "I know him personally...I know the guy he bangs"
if that were true why wouldn't you have just said that in the first place? If you're going to make shit up at least be consistent about it
He still reminds me of Andre the Giant.
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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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Submitted by TimC on Wed, 04/13/2011
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since when do boxing insiders read dlisted? thanks for getting my hopes up, but I'll betcha boxing insider is just one of David Hayes' people talking trash. as much as i want to, i just can't believe it.
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Dude, I'm from Ukraine and know him personally. And I know what I'm talking about. But even if I didn't - I agree: this is the lamiest PR ever. Girl was spotted with other guys too many times. When those two are together they look more like friends and neighbours. They meet only once a while every 2-3 month, you can easily check this, so that's your own business what you believe.
I know the guy he bangs.
Submitted by boxing insider on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 6:31am.
Guys,
her so-called "boyfriend" has been strongly rumored to be GAy back in Europe for years! Only spotted with girls on some public events - that's it. She has no experience of sex with him for sure. But she's defenatly making some cash of it!
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since when do boxing insiders read dlisted? thanks for getting my hopes up, but I'll betcha boxing insider is just one of David Hayes' people talking trash. as much as i want to, i just can't believe it.
it reminds me of that south park episode let me check oh yeah here it goes...
http://jonontech.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/An_elephant_makes_love_t...
*tell em get in line and kiss your ass MUAH!*
I think he's kind of good looking. There are far more flattering pictures of him available.
Submitted by Cowjam on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 4:25am.
She has fans?
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AH! That question answered my question.
Her fans are not conservative (question being: why would conservative people ask about your sex life?) they're NERDY VIRGINS!!! Her fans are gonna be all WoW/comic book/gamer type people. Especially at this point. I really can't see how there'd be anyone else left.
♥ Threadkilla!
Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right.
~Arthur Schopenhauer
I know someone who is around 4'11"/5' and her husband is 6'4". She says she has to use pillows when she gets on top. I'm guessing her legs are too short to reach the bed once she's straddling him? He's also not super skinny though (not a huge beer belly but a little bit of extra meat) so that may factor in. Still, that's not the concerning part. Obviously people think about how bodies are proportional, I know vaginas stretch but a large penis in a naturally smaller vagina IS going against the grain.
"vag-to-mouth without even pulling out."
That image had me choking from laughter.
Hasn't Heroes been cancelled forever? Does she just date Giants for a living now?
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."
gay rumours about that hot piece. i can't stand it. it would be too horrible if he was gay, and yet i still could not have him. i don't know who the midget girl is, but she has a beautiful face.
as for the tastes of tall guys, most either prefer really small women for some reason, or they don't care about size at all. being treated like freaks of nature, they usually don't consider height expecially attractive. even a lot of gay tall guys don't seem to have anything against short guys.
i think the only reason tall women insist on tall men is that they think it makes their own height less conspicuous.
She might be 5'1" with 6 inch heelas, she is Snookie sized. It makes me laugh that it used to be only men that fudged their height now these little people females do it too, KK adds inches to her height also, she's a midget without those heels.
@boxing insider- it wouldn't surprise me at all if she were getting paid. Before she started dating him there were all kinds of rumors that she was a working girl and would partake in some super kinky shit.
As for the tall and short thing- eh, the short girls can have him even if his junk hangs down to his knees. I can't get past that busted face. I'm tall, too, (5'11") but it never occurred to me to not date someone because of their height, or lack of. My husband is slightly shorter then me and if I had not dated him because of that, it would have been the biggest mistake of my life.
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Honey badger don't give a shit.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 8:12am.
Maybe he has a small peen.
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Could you imagine if he's hung like SugerfreeRedbulls mini peen avie?
Now THAT would be fucking funny!
Submitted by kayray on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 8:16am.
I'm more curious about the couples who are both morbidly obese with at least 6 belly rolls between them because I don't know how they find each others fun parts.
My roommate in college and I googled fat men one time because we wanted to see their peni.. .seriously do they just have an outie belly button?
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Thank God she cleared that up. I was losing sleep over it.
That's about the height difference between my parents. My mother is 5' my father 6'3. Short girls really like to climb on tall men. It probably makes them feel more safe and secure at first, then they get married and totally emasculate the big fella.
We're all the same height laying down.
For fuck's sake, I'm 5' and for some reason tall guys have always hit on me. Most of my boyfriends have been around 6'. Sex is no problem especially if the short one is on top. As someone said people find a way to fuck. I'm more curious about the couples who are both morbidly obese with at least 6 belly rolls between them because I don't know how they find each others fun parts.
On a side note, a neighbor has a rottweiler/weenie dog mix. I'd love to have seen that. He calls it a rottenweenie.
Maybe he has a small peen.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
I wonder if her ribs sound like a xylophone when he banging her.
I can't say I've ever wondered about this topic in my entire life. Mostly because I just really don't want to picture Hayden Panettiere doing anything...ever.
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"Fuck that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee." - Dave Grohl
Just like Britney and Xtina before her,she's a fat chick waiting to happen
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"LARGATE DE MI CASA, PINCHE PUTA! " -MK
looks like he'd split her ass in half...
LMAO at Slurpee!!
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Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer – and another one
There is no way that there is only a 17" height difference between them. They are at least 20-22" difference and Hayden is more like 4' 10" or 4' 11"
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"Money is the magic wand that turns a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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I'm 5'0,hubby is 6'1. I just climb Mt. Peen and yodel ; )
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"LARGATE DE MI CASA, PINCHE PUTA! " -MK
It's not like it's inconceivable that a penis might be too big to fit someone comfortably. Rare perhaps... but not impossible. These people aren't really asking 'how' so much as they are attempting to start a conversation where she might dish about how it feels to be stuffed to the brim.
If he's gay, who the hell cares? But if they DO do it, then I'll say what a very smart person once said....
Human beings have a natural and healthy curiosity about sex. It basically comes down to the question of, "What is in our pants?" and "How do you do it?" I think it's okay to ask.
And the answer is...most people (trans, intersex, hetero, bi, gay, etc...) do it the way EVERYBODY does it, only they do it with the equipment they've got! And it should be kept PRIVATE.
We need to break down the myths and stereotypes of differing sexualities/preferences, because it all comes down to the same thing. FOR EXAMPLE: There are gay male couples who NEVER have anal intercourse--and statistically there would be more heteros doing that act.
So....start looking at people through a different lens. We are all the same. The world is much more interesting and friendly when we do.
Love,
Mabel
Guys,
her so-called "boyfriend" has been strongly rumored to be GAy back in Europe for years! Only spotted with girls on some public events - that's it. She has no experience of sex with him for sure. But she's defenatly making some cash of it!
Panettiere...troll a pier...panty tear...
any other nicknames for her?
Well, someone has to fuck the runt of the litter.
Not sure why, but something about this girl irritates the shit out of me.
He looks like he's got a huge dick. I need more information.
Ugh. I am seriously debating going to see the new Scream movie (loved the first 2, 3 was OK) because I have a feeling she's going to be the new "Sidney" type character and she's so annoying.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
she has fans? HAHAHHAHA right
Kelly Taylor: Well we all have our crosses to bear.
Brenda Walsh: Or our legs to uncross.
-----episode 3.14 "Wild Horses," Beverly Hills 90210
Submitted by kndall44 on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 12:29am.
There are MORE THAN PLENTY of short guys for you midgets.
Leave these rare specisms for us tall girls.
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That is so true!! I'm not even that tall 5'6 1/2" and I swear I'm taller than half the guys out there (yeah I know the average height for men is
supposed to be 5'9" but that's bullshit. 5'7" is more accurate)...Most of my boyfriends have been short and I'd love to have a guy I could wear high heels with and not look awkward!
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
She has fans?
(I''m probably tardy to the party with this, but I'm on the other side of the planet.)
Can't wait for Gulliver and his Lilliputian GF to make a sex tape LOL.
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http://www.whosdatedwho.com/tpx_21333/marc-bolan/tpx_1652472
SIZEMEAT ALERT!!!!!
Please post link to nude photos of Wladimar!
Submitted by hotpocket on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 12:20am.
And talkin about the downstairs, both the smallest and the largest I've seen, um, personally, have been tall basketball players. You just never can tell by looking at someone.
OK, I am and have been basketball obsessed and I need to know who! WHO?
Would I hit it?
http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRLOOJ04jZRep_nLedNEgKOQKLXZ1X8s...
Yes, I would!
Submitted by Athena13 on Tue, 04/12/2011 - 9:58pm.
Can someone buy her a dictionary. Not just to stand on, but to look up the word conservative. Gives you some sense of her warped views.
I'm not sure why you think her use of the word conservative is wrong.
Put a long brown wig on that head and *poof* there's Khloe Kardashian.
Submitted by kndall44 on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 12:29am.
There are MORE THAN PLENTY of short guys for you midgets.
Leave these rare specisms for us tall girls.
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AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (I'm 5"11)
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I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. - Dorothy Parker
This should be illegal.
As a tall girl, there's nothing worse than seeing a very tall man dating a super short person.
There are MORE THAN PLENTY of short guys for you midgets.
Leave these rare specisms for us tall girls.
I get an opposites attract kind of kink vibe from them mixed with a fairy tale where the giant wins the fair maiden, like it. He seems nice anyway.
And talkin about the downstairs, both the smallest and the largest I've seen, um, personally, have been tall basketball players. You just never can tell by looking at someone.
Having sex with him shouldn't be tough, and I would never wonder how that works. The thing I always think about when I see them is "what if she gets pregnant?" That's like mating a female chihuahua with a male great dane. She's gonna need a cesarean just to have an abortion to save her life before the end of the 1st trimester.