Lady Gaga Hates Weird Al (UPDATE: She Says She Doesn’t)
Weird Al Yancovic got the idea to do a completely non-offensive parody of “Born This Way” which would make fun of all the art project shit Lady Caca throws on her body. Weird Al presented the idea to Caca’s camp (which really is a perfect name for Caca’s camp) for approval, and they told him she needed to hear the song. Weird Al worked quickly and submitted the lyrics to Caca’s camp. They turned around and said that her cuntness needed to HEAR the song, not read it. Weird Al recorded it, bowed at her hooves and delivered the song on a blue royal velvet pillow. Caca’s camp came back with a definite N-O.
Weird Al will not release the song and all the proceeds from the sale of the single he planned to donate to the Human Rights Campaign will come to a grand total of $0.00. Weird Al was pretty nice about the whole thing on his blog and ended with this:
Man, I wish you all could have had a chance to see the video we were going to do for this thing. It was going to be BEYOND AWESOME, and disturbing on many levels. Oh well.
Anyway, I realize that this may be way more information than many people would care to know about the whole situation, but I just wanted to set the record straight before any crazy rumors started. There’s really nothing more that I have to say about it now, so hopefully I won’t have to be answering questions about Lady Gaga in interviews for the next 20 years.
I know this news is disappointing to many of you. Believe me… nobody is more disappointed than I am.
Thanks for listening. I’ll keep you posted.
Weird Al should understand that it wasn’t Caca’s decision, it was GOD’S!!! God not only writes the lyrics to her songs, but he also makes the decision as to which musical parodies she should approve. God spoke to her! And by that I mean she shoved a plastic tube up her ass, put the other end in her ear and farted. Unfortunately, there were two beats in her fart and that means “no.” She would’ve said “yes” if there were three beats in her fart. Oh. Well. Blame it on the fartbeats. And God.
UPDATE: Even though Weird Al says that Gaga’s manager shut him down, she claims she’s never heard the song and loves his work. And just like that, Gaga has revealed her undiscovered talent for backpedaling fast in 10″ platform heels.
UPDATE II: Weird Al has updated his blog to say that Gaga’s manager admitted to him that he never played the song for her. Gaga has since heard it, approved it and it will go on his next album. Weird Al has also kept his promise and will donate profits to the HRC.
(Thanks to everybody who sent this in!)