St. Angie Lands A $10 Million Contract With Louis Vuitton

Celebrations for the anniversary of the resurrection of our savior have been put on hold, because priests all over the land will instead devote their Sunday mass sermons to praising Louis Vuitton for spreading the word of the good lord by hiring St. Angelina Jolie as their new face. (Oh here go hell come for me.) E! News says that the worldwide campaign will be shot by Annie Leibovitz in a couple of weeks and will debut this summer in stained glass form in a cathedral near you!

Spokeswhores for Angie and Louis Vuitton zipped their shit about this, but a source claims that LV will put around $10 million in her collection basket. This is apparently the most she’s ever made for any kind of campaign. Past faces of Louis Vuitton have included Madge, ScarJo, JLo and Gis Bundchen.

My initial reaction to this was just like the one the wide-faced Cate Blanchett is making in the picture above. Hand on hip, ciggie in hand and an “OH, BROTHER!” expression splashed across my face. Angie is already everywhere EVERYWHERE everywhere and now she’s really going to be everywhere EVERYWHERE everywhere. Personally, I’d rather see Maddox in the “U MAD, Aniston?!” campaign for Louis Vuitton’s exclusive line of Cabbage Patch clothes and Beanie Baby bjorns.