Lindsay Lohan's Going To The Morgue
Lindsay Lohan's cold dead career has been toe tagged for a while now and she's used to being around lifeless carcasses who smell like death wrapped around a baked diaper (aka White Oprah passed out in her own drunk vomit in the middle of the garage), so doing her community service in the morgue is a perfect fit! Because a judge ruled that LiLo violated her probation, she was slapped with 120 hours of community service. People reports that those hours will be spent doing janitorial shit in the city morgue.
The coroner assistant chief says LiLo will be taking out the trash, mopping floors, cleaning toilets and wiping down windows, etc. The dead bodies in the morgue have been through enough, so LiLo really won't have any kind of contact with them. LiLo's upcoming morgue visit will be her second. Back in 2007, she had to complete a DUI morgue program.
LiLo might call pushing mop water around a linoleum floor "punishment," but many of my tias have been calling it "WORK!" for decades now. How is this shit considered punishment when she'll have access to formaldehyde and won't be out in the open? How can the court take away we the public's right to drive by and throw out empty Shasta containers for LiLo to pick up?! This seems like a lose/lose all around.
On top of the 120 hours in the morgue, she'll also have to complete 360 community service hours at a women's homeless shelter in the Skid Row of L.A. LiLo might call it "360 hours of community service," but the employees at the homeless shelter are calling it "orientation." When she completes her time there, the employees will not say goodbye to her. But not because they hate goodbyes, but because they're going to see her in a few years anyway.
I am too scared to look at those pictures.
My thesis is complete!
Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 8:09pm.
Someone needs to show her a pic of Nicki Catsouras (Porsche girl).
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Not the worse thing Ive ever seen.
╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ═══════════════╝
Yeah, Fuck it.
HA HA HA - this please me more than you know. Girlfriend is gonna see some shit.
╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ═══════════════╝
Yeah, Fuck it.
Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 8:09pm.
Someone needs to show her a pic of Nicki Catsouras (Porsche girl). Jesus. F'ing. Christ. She is seriously going to end up either like that, or dead in a hallway/gutter like Sharon Stone in Casino.
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That picture gave me nightmares last night.
that's (60) 8 hour days... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA no fucking WAY she's gonna complete that!!
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
give da bitch embalming fluid duty
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Does this mean that for the last 14 years I've been mopping, vacuuming & doing my husband's laundry its been community service?
*sigh*
so no mugshot #5 to add to her portfolio?
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now is the time for guts and guile ~ Dame Elizabeth
I saw the canine equivalent of MK this morning: a bulldog puppy in a hot pink leash.
So adorable.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Submitted by Hysteria on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 2:03am.
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 1:54am.
Trust...LiLo would be working the female bodies to see if she could pull off any stray Lee Press-On Nails. Or, cut off their hair to sell for wigs. She's not above anything at this point.
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Hahhaa! So true. Nice to see you, Mr. M. It is poetic justice that she ends up in the morgue. I hope that's the judge's sense of humor. But I'll only really be satisfied with her in the dark, dank pokey :)
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{{{{HUGS}}}} to Hysteria!!! How YOU doin? I'm up all night tonight making sure my advanced students get their work on to campus....I love em all the little bastards!!! Just got home from an art run, so I'll be up all night. LiLo will be kept from the "wet" cleanup if she sees the morgue at all during her community mandate. If she really had to clean up around the LA dead, she'd be crying for mommy by now. I'd rather be dead, forgotten, and left to my burial fate than have LINDSAY one-name anywhere near me during her community service...can you imagine having LiLo be the LAST person to ever see your face before being whatevered by the LA County?
"Seymour!! You said you'd never get married until you bought me an iron lung!"
What are the chances of Lindsay managing to do 15 days at the Morgue ? This is one of the worse punishments that she has ever recieved but the charge was reduced so i guess the Judge was reasonable.
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Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 1:54am.
Trust...LiLo would be working the female bodies to see if she could pull off any stray Lee Press-On Nails. Or, cut off their hair to sell for wigs. She's not above anything at this point.
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Hahhaa! So true. Nice to see you, Mr. M. It is poetic justice that she ends up in the morgue. I hope that's the judge's sense of humor. But I'll only really be satisfied with her in the dark, dank pokey :)
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Submitted by Hysteria on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 1:28am.
Submitted by dementa on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 1:16am.
Don't they keep the possessions of the dead people in a separate place? If not, they should.
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hahaa! she'll find some way get apiece of the action. and there's always the formaldehyde
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Trust...LiLo would be working the female bodies to see if she could pull off any stray Lee Press-On Nails. Or, cut off their hair to sell for wigs. She's not above anything at this point.
"Seymour!! You said you'd never get married until you bought me an iron lung!"
Submitted by dementa on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 1:16am.
Don't they keep the possessions of the dead people in a separate place? If not, they should.
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hahaa! she'll find some way get apiece of the action. and there's always the formaldehyde
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Submitted by Hysteria on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 1:14am.
Hahaha You're doing better than me!
I've only got teenagers demanding their dinner to keep me company.
'spose I better feed the little rats before they start plotting against me (they do that sometimes).
Good night Hysteria.:)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjp0EhQCFM0
Don't they keep the possessions of the dead people in a separate place? If not, they should.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 1:04am.
Did you have any time off work over Easter?
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Wait. What day is this? It seems like thursday. Yeah, I had time off, but Easter isn't a high holiday much anymore, except for shameless worship of solid-chocolate rabbbits.
It does sound more relaxed. But kindred spirits be lurking :)
ETA: and I've got Nate Berkus & Entourage. keeping me company..
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Submitted by Hysteria on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 12:54am.
I enjoy the site during the wee hours of the morning - you can feel the stillness - it is palpably noisy during the day.
But I'm not a night owl - I'm only here now because of the timezone I live in.
Did you have any time off work over Easter?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjp0EhQCFM0
Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 12:47am.
Hey there, I'm good, good. Just woke up from my after-work buzz. rested up for some late nite wandering & hoing around.
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Submitted by Hysteria on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 12:43am.
Hey Hysteria!
How are you this evening?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjp0EhQCFM0
Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 12:15am..
So why are you up so late? (I'll be rude and ask)
Usually none of the regulars are on the site at this time of the night.
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newwwww-beeeeee. some of the longer-time regulars know this is the best time to be on "da-deee". hahaa
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Submitted by RustyHooligan on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 12:10am.
So why are you up so late? (I'll be rude and ask)
Usually none of the regulars are on the site at this time of the night.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjp0EhQCFM0
I hope she won't stoop to stealing from the dead, because for the classic narcissist nothing is holy.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 12:03am.
No worries. It gave me a reason to read up on George. They named Belfast City Airport after him when he died. hahaha
His son is just a ne'er-do-well.
* * * * * * * * * *
Drifting
@RustyHooligan
Sorry Rusty - I deleted the post (I thought you had gone to bed).
I remember Callum now - I'm old enough to know about the legend that is Georgie Best (his autobiography is one of the better ones).
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjp0EhQCFM0
My first double post!!!!!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjp0EhQCFM0
Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 11:45pm.
For asking that, I'll need to see your passport--the Malaysian one--no, the Tibetan one. He's the son of old-timey British footy/soccer star Georgie Best. Both were/are famous man-whores and partyers. Calum was caught multiple times with hookers, doing coke, etc.
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Drifting
I think they should drop all the charges, random drug tests etc, and just let her go back to her old life - she'll O.D. inside a month and we'll never have to deal with her again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjp0EhQCFM0
Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 11:34pm.
See my earlier 'touching a stiffy under the sheet' comment.
Well, she did fuck Calum Best, so a festering dead guy should be light work.
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Drifting
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 11:20pm.
'But not before a random hookup'
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See my earlier 'touching a stiffy under the sheet' comment.
tehehehe
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjp0EhQCFM0
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 11:13pm.
She'll do it 2 hours and then break a nail, run away, call her mom, accuse the staff of tryna kill her with bleach, and then back to court.
But not before a random hookup and getting caught with booze or drugs.
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Drifting
LiLo might call pushing mop water around a linoleum floor "punishment," but many of my tias have been calling it "WORK!"
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Yeah, and MY zias call it LIFE.
Cha! She'll do it 2 hours and then break a nail, run away, call her mom, accuse the staff of tryna kill her with bleach, and then back to court.
Wash, rinse, repeat.
♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
Three Pop Stars, One Song:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6474802/three-pop-stars-one-song-with-...
Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 10:39pm.
Total accident, I swear! Whenever we get together, we ALWAYS rehash this story.
She shouldn't have jumped in front of me. *pouts*
I can't wait to see her...love that crazy ho.
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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
Submitted by Hotmami: "OMG, Bjork, did you have to watch Red Asphalt?! THAT was some sick shit.
Never mind the fact that I didn't want to drive a car because I once accidentally hit my sister with a golf cart.
It's ok to laugh, we do."
She's only laughing because she's on painkillers from the time you ran her ass over. Hotmami, that is some "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" shit.
OMG, Bjork, did you have to watch Red Asphalt?! THAT was some sick shit.
Never mind the fact that I didn't want to drive a car because I once accidentally hit my sister with a golf cart.
It's ok to laugh, we do.
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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
Please tell me they give her the really gross-ass tasks.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Hotmami: "Someone needs to show her a pic of Nicki Catsouras (Porsche girl). Jesus. F'ing. Christ. She is seriously going to end up either like that, or dead in a hallway/gutter like Sharon Stone in Casino.
ETA: SUPER GRAPHIC and NSFL."
Santos Dios!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I take back my kiss, Hotmami!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is worse than the dolphin blow job!!!!!!!!!!!!
(This is so sad. Those photos should not have been leaked. They used to show these kinds of photos to us in high school, DURING DRIVERS ED!!!! I didn't get in a car for a week, which is a pretty difficult protest in the suburbs where public transportation sucks and a bike or skateboard can only get you so far. McLovin/Homtami, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good God, those pics were disturbing. Makes me never want to drive. Ever. *kisses metro card*
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Caca: "Dear Lord, remind me that my gift is not self-worship, but is the worship of others."
Lord: "...Where'd I put that 'Smite' button?
-nomeadooha
Yeah, I feel like puking. But well. I think most accidents are indescribably gruesome but we're never exposed to it because of journalistic ethics. Our imagination is never as graphic as the real thing.
Oh god...why why why did I google those porsche pictures. You guys warned me and yet, I still googled it. AWFUL. It's like clicking on MK's links when he tells you not to.
I feel sick.
And it's scary that we share the earth with people as heartless and evil as the people who sent those pics to the family. Sick fukks.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Man I had a bitch of a time finding the porsche photos. Every site explained how they had taken them down. Finally got my curiosity satisfied. Pretty gruesome, but I have looked at worse on other sites. Still when I see something like this I get a little lightheaded--its a physical reaction.
PS. I work at a hospital, and when maintenance folks go by pushing carts full of bags of biowaste, I sure would hate to see one of those spill...
Once elevator stops and dude is on elevator with two large drums of biowaste, one stacked on the other. I just told him I would take the next elevator. Was it macbeth who said 'the better part of valor is discretion' ;)
So lilo can push those around and pray she doesn't get a whiff or peek at the contents, or drop one.
Fucka you velly much peng!
Submitted by peng5546 on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 7:13pm.
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They can sentence her to travel faster than the speed of light for all I care. She has never had to do shit, and I will believe it when I see it.
I'm sure somebody asked what those homeless women deserved to do to be punished with LILO, but wouldn't it be ironic if from the morgue and homeless shelter she got experiences that would make her an interesting actor--maybe on a cop show or a lifetime movie.
Good thing she is not allowed to be with the dead bodies. She would pickpocket them.
Damn, Hotmami, put a warning on that Porsche-Girl post... that was some sick shit. And whoever taunted her parents with those pics afterwards deserves to burn in hell. WTF is wrong with people??
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Don`t be a woman-beater -- be a pussy-eater!!
Please lock her in the room when the zombies start harlem-shakin.
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peek-a-boo, you fuckshu
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Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 8:41pm.
The story is very sad. The people on the scene who took the pics were sharing them amongst themselves and their friends, and eventually they went completely viral. Some asshole kids got a hold of them and emailed them to her family with misleading subject lines.
Apparently, the doctors would not let them identify her because of how badly she was messed up.
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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele