Obama Roasts Trump
At last night's White House Correspondents dinner, basic cable reality stars (see: Sarah Palin), actors of The CW (see: Ian Somerhalder) and half-shaven comedic teddy bears (see: Zach Galifnotgoingtogooglerightnow) sprayed their pits with fancy water to nibble on overcooked filet mignon and flambe their creme brulee desserts on the hot flame that shot out of Donald Trump's dehydrated hairy toad asshole when Obama verbally double slapped him in the mouth over and over again. Watching a direct descendant of one of Jaba the Hutt's hemorrhoids sit there with a mad scowl on his face is what would consider as feel good porn. Trump got trumped and I'm sure even the lone sparkle in my rhinestone heart named Melania Trump let out a laugh or two. Melania later told her sugar daddy that she wasn't laughing, she was letting out a Slovenian boo.
As Obama poked at Trump with a LOL stick for that birth certificate ridiculousness, he just sat there with constipated smile on his face and squirmed like Melania whenever he gives her the "it's about that time to fulfill paragraph 5, line 10 of your marriage contract" sex look. I mean, the dumb douche could've let out a fake laugh or two to show that he's sort of a good sport, but he just had himself a pouty party for one instead. I really can't wait to see how the Trump responds. He already used all of his "miserable fat cow" lines on Rosie O'Donnell, so I'm sure he'll just say that Obama tells jokes like a Kenyan.
Click here if you want to see Obama's full act (and click here for Seth Meyers' speech).
And here's a few pictures of who put oxygen masks over their face as Trump got roasted. In order: Salma Hayek with her husband Francois-Henri Pinault, Zach Galifakanakakaisisis, Trump with Melania, Paula Abdul, Shaun White, Joan Rivers, Amy Poehler with friend, Anna Paquin with Beeeehl, Ian Somerhalder, Briston Palin, Jane Lynch with her wife Dr. Lara Embry, Cee-Lo Green, Sarah Palin, Rachel Maddow,
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Submitted by Tyroan on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 7:21pm.
For the benefit of the poor white folks who simply cannot get over a Black man in the White House; moving from birth certificates, to transcripts, to vacation days...
Vacation days during first year in office:
Carter-19
Reagan-42
Bush1-40
Clinton-21
Bush2-69
Obama-26
source: FactCheck.org
[While you're busy trying to discredit FactCheck.org, be sure to note they were cited by Dick Cheney in a V.P. debate.]
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This is so hot. Rock on.
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"'They See Me Rollin', They Hatin' chariot is born!" -MK
Bush2-69
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Bush had 69 vacation days in the first year?! YOUR ASS. Yeah - at his Crawford ranch , maybe. Where he would fly in staff, give press conferences and meet with world leaders !!
Bush had a national crisis after his first year in office - it was called 9/11 ... I can guarantee you that the poor bastard didnt see another vacation day for the next 4 years:-)
Why was his ignorant muthafukin ass even there? Don't tell me because he was invited.Someone with this much hate should've decline the invitation. He needs to lose that wig shit on his head, it's fukin with his brain!
*peeks in*
*fights urge to tell some people to shut the fuck up*
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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
I love jane Lynch but her wife needs a facial peel!
Sarah Palin looks like a wax figure at Madame Tussaud's and her shoes are about 2 sizes too big. Clearance sale?
Submitted by Dgrin on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 7:23pm.
it's the Donald Comedy Central Roast all over again,
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Ha! It was better than the first. I did miss the schaudenfreud of the Situation bombing though.
Submitted by Dgrin on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 7:23pm.
it's the Donald Comedy Central Roast all over again,
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Ha! It was better than the first. I did miss the schaudenfaud of the Situation bombing though.
it's the Donald Comedy Central Roast all over again,
Submitted by Schlong on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 7:08pm.
Yes, 'whites' deserved to be mentioned just as much as any other ethnicity since 0bama was making 'special' segregated mention of said ethnicities.
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Why? Were Blacks mentioned? (I'm too lazy to look back at the vid so I'm not sure). Shouldn't they be mentioned as well? Why did you not notice any absence of the mention of American Indians?
White people do not have a status of being underrepresented. Hispanics are a huge part of the population that have not vote proportionally to the amount of them that are here.
Are you offended that the old were not mentioned? Why not?
Should Repubs not mention small business owners in their thanks to their supporters? Is that class warfare-ism? Most Libs would not say so. It is a truth that Hispanics and Blacks, young are underrepresented in voting. It's also accepted that small businesses need representation as well. That's not called the class card.
For the benefit of the poor white folks who simply cannot get over a Black man in the White House; moving from birth certificates, to transcripts, to vacation days...
Vacation days during first year in office:
Carter-19
Reagan-42
Bush1-40
Clinton-21
Bush2-69
Obama-26
source: FactCheck.org
[While you're busy trying to discredit FactCheck.org, be sure to note they were cited by Dick Cheney in a V.P. debate.]
Submitted by Schlong on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 7:08pm.
Yes, 'whites' deserved to be mentioned just as much as any other ethnicity since 0bama was making 'special' segregated mention of said ethnicities.
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Why? Were Blacks mentioned? (I'm too lazy to look back at the vid so I'm not sure). Shouldn't they be mentioned as well? Why did you not notice any absence of the mention of American Indians?
White people do not have a status of being underrepresented. Hispanics are a huge part of the population that have not vote proportionally to the amount of them that are here.
Are you offended that the old were not mentioned? Why not?
Should Repubs not mention small business owners in their thanks to their supporters? Is that class warfare-ism? Most Libs would not say so. It is a truth that Hispanics and Blacks, young are underrepresented in voting. It's also accepted that small businesses need representation as well. That's no called the class card.
Schlong, don't succumb. You've said your peace. Arguing politics is pointless and mind-numbing.
What happens to the 'race-card' by the time everyone is mixed and diluted to the point where 'ethnicity' is a joke like me? LOL!
People need to chill (and fuck each other).
Submitted by Schlong on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 6:39pm.
Happyface, I never directed that at YOU personally at all. Where did I post that to you specifically being a racist? Isn't it LAME to play the race-card when that's the only argument you have though?
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When we are posting back and forth and you respond to my post by saying "Why do you racists refuse to see that he is a mulatto and not an all "black" man?", looks like "you" is directed at me. We were going back and forth. If you didn't mean that, fine. I understand that.
However, as far as playing the "race card" and it being the only card. In regards to what? Birtherism? Who says it's the only card? What are you basing that on? Race comes up in regards to the birtherism. How many cards should one hold up for such a stupid, uncomplicated issue? Does it require more than one card?
When it comes to liberal politics, there are cards for both sides. The Right is concerned with government takeover and the Left is concerned with minorities being forgotten and taken advantage of. I'm talking very simplistically and when I talk about both sides each having their own respective "cards", I say so without favoring one side over the other. We have to accept that each side has its own concerns. The fact that the Right is afraid of Government telling them what to do is not by itself offensive to me. I don't understand how the Left being concerned with minorities of any kind being neglected should offend you. In fact, that concern is referred to glibly as "the race card".
Good grief. The whole 'birther' issue was played out on a WHITE MAN ages and ages ago. Again, see "Chester Aurthur presidential eligibility story" and school yourselves.
Mr. Mercury, good to see you as always. Sorry to meet again in such unbecoming circumstances (mostly my fault for entering the fray).
Yes, 'whites' deserved to be mentioned just as much as any other ethnicity since 0bama was making 'special' segregated mention of said ethnicities. Wouldn't it be nice one day to just be an "American" sans "ethnic labels"? There will be no 'pure' race in the end anyhow...might as well get used to it rather than let race-baiters separate people into hateful "us vs. them" groups.
0bama is a joke. You all got played. Get over it and move on to greener pastures and better human beings of ANY race.
Trump needs to get the stick out of his ass. There is nothing worse than someone who can't laugh at their own self.
Submitted by Genny18 on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 6:57pm.
Will somebody please think of the mexicans?!
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I think about Mexicans all the time! But I don't think anything I'm thinking about them belongs on this thread...maybe if we do something sexy later....
♥
♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
Three Pop Stars, One Song:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6474802/three-pop-stars-one-song-with-...
I believe it was Bush who had the most days of vacation. Yes, the President "lives large" according to our standards no matter what. He lives in a big white house and drives a private plane. This is not unusual for a president.
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OH that's such bullshit. I hope you're not comparing his 8 YEARS in office to the 2.5 that Obama has been there ... It's not that Obama isnt allowed a vacation , it's that he takes them at inopportune times. The country is crumbling and the guy would be sitting on the sidelines of some basketball game or playing MANY rounds of golf or paying for his wife to take her vacation to Spain , attending celebrity bullshit events, ... the list is long. He has certainly had more than enough vacations - I would suspect atleast 5 within less than 2 years. I'm sure the average american would love to be able to afford even ONE of those vacations. It's sickening at best. Bush hung out on his ranch - he didnt fuckin' fly off to Hawaii every few months.
He just reminds me of someone milking the perks.
Submitted by tralala on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 6:52pm.
"(I'd say accusing a president of orchestrating 9/11 is more egregious than accusing one of being born in Kenya)."
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It's actually more egregious of accusing someone of being born in Kenya b/c they are half Kenyan and therefore ascribing a worl-view that consists of destroying America and undermining the White majority. Making it egregious for someone to have a kenyan father is in itself more egregious.
angel <3
*hehe*
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What's up, douchebag?
PS: Cupcakes and Whipped Cream for everyone! I knew you'd be needing it when I got back so I brought extra:)
♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
Three Pop Stars, One Song:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6474802/three-pop-stars-one-song-with-...
"(I'd say accusing a president of orchestrating 9/11 is more egregious than accusing one of being born in Kenya)."
Trala-
Oh, trala, what Dem politician ever said Bush orchestrated 9/11?
Clinton, as it was said here, was the "first Black President" according to some and yes he faced a lot of harsh opposition. But none of the opposition concerned his identity as happyface pointed out.
Why do they go after Obama's Kenyan background? Why is it always having to do with his "foreignness"?
Will somebody please think of the mexicans?!
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What's up, douchebag?
Submitted by Schlong on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 5:19pm.
Some of you stupid fucks see everything through the prism of 'race' and so does 0bama. He has divided this country more racially/sexually than any other president in history.
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How? By being black? (sorry- HALF black)
Y'all are dividing yourselves.
♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
Three Pop Stars, One Song:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6474802/three-pop-stars-one-song-with-...
Happyface,
I love how people like Schlong need White people to be mentioned to satisfy them.
Agree with Schlong on the tiresome playing of the race-card. Birthers' opposition to Obama is nothing compared to the attacks & conspiracy-theorizing Clinton had to endure… or Bush, for that matter (I'd say accusing a president of orchestrating 9/11 is more egregious than accusing one of being born in Kenya). Obama & his media cheerleaders would like you to buy the spin that anything anti-Obama has to be about race, and that those who strongly criticize or oppose Obama must all be evil racists. As opposed to, you know, strongly disapproving of his policies. Crazy thought.
Also agree with shandi that birther mania has much more to do with Obama's lack of transparency (with respect to many areas of his life, background, associations, etc.), sealing all sorts of documents from his past that other candidates/ presidents had to open, to be scrutinized by the press-- while Obama's been given a pass by a curiously incurious media. That attracts conspiracy theorists like flies to rotting food.
Submitted by Schlong on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 6:42pm.
Ohhhhhh. So "young people" was secret squirrel code for "white people"?
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No. Young people are every race. Obviously. So, you think it's racist that he didn't thank White people? Wow, making race an issue I see. He mentioned a group of his constituents that are not drawn along lines of race or gender. What are you still getting at?
Alls I know is, that if I were Obama, I'd straight up tell the birthers to STFU and stop sweating my nuts so hard. H8rs gon' H8
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What's up, douchebag?
*runs into thread just to say hi to Schlong*
Long time no see! Hope you've been well...here's a manly hug and a fist pump...Muah!
*ducks out to get a glass of whiskey*
"Seymour!! You said you'd never get married until you bought me an iron lung!"
Submitted by Schlong on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 6:32pm.
Living large, playing golf, making talk-show and comedy show circuits and partying while people are losing everything is not exactly helping his 'cause'.
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I believe it was Bush who had the most days of vacation. Yes, the President "lives large" according to our standards no matter what. He lives in a big white house and drives a private plane. This is not unusual for a president.
And you still failed to point out how he has divided this country along lines of race and gender? He mentioned his constituents who rallied for him by voting.
Did the Republicans who talked about the Mosque, the birth certificate, his Kenyan father's "colonialist views" that were past down to him, and his Muslim "heritage" less aggressive than thanking the minorities who supported him?
Let's put it this way. When did Obama malign White people directly? When did he accuse someone of being too influenced by their White background?
happyface on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 6:36pm.
"I saw the video. He mentioned young people too. I didn't know they were a race."
Ohhhhhh. So "young people" was secret squirrel code for "white people"? LOL. Keep reaching, Haps. ;)
Happyface, I never directed that at YOU personally at all. Where did I post that to you specifically being a racist? Isn't it LAME to play the race-card when that's the only argument you have though?
Racist Holder got this idiot off:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVcfymOvoUo
You know, the guy who wants to kill white "cracka babies":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZvPCy7OBRw&feature=related
That's okay though right? Because blacks can't be raaaaaaaaaacists?
;)
Submitted by K2 on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 5:20pm.
Submitted by Allessandra on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 4:42pm
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I ALREADY know you're a dumb fuck!
And yes, Trump did just sit with a serious look on his face - b/c he took the entire birth bullshit VERY seriously. Now Obama was trying to trivialize it - when in fact, Obama was the one that actually caved into Trumps demands - so how trivial was it? LMAO.
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Trump was pro-Obama, gives money to the Democrats and Republicans and thought the Birther stuff was BS until he decided to run. He only takes his ego very seriously.
Schlong, you need to take two Xanax and drink two martinis
Submitted by Schlong on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 6:32pm.
I saw the video. He mentioned young people too. I didn't know they were a race.
When Repubs mentions small-businessman (people who need representation) are they class dividers? You can't mention the underrepresented?
So what if his father is from Kenya ? Obama was born in the US...The CIA would have uncover it if he wasn't born in the US. They find out if you killed a bug in the 4th grade.... There is some serious anger over this....Go take some Xanax, drink a martini, and get over it.
*sits on couch w/ma sushi and enjoys the thread*
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What's up, douchebag?
Im cringing at colberts slaughter...
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What's up, douchebag?
If this asshole is supposed to be the president of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA he's doing a shitty job of bringing people together (except for his base consisting of minorities/women/hard-lefties/union thugs).
Living large, playing golf, making talk-show and comedy show circuits and partying while people are losing everything is not exactly helping his 'cause'.
Submitted by Schlong on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 6:21pm.
Obama is half white. Why do you racists refuse to see that he is a mulatto and not an all "black" man?
Please. You racists are such bigoted fucks against whites it's hilarious.
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Great. Now you're calling ME a racist. Wow, I never leveraged any name-calling at you. Shows you're no better than the ones you imagine are the problem.
He is half-white and half-black. His constituents recognize his mix. It's the Kenyan part that bothers the Righties. Why do THEY never talk about his mom's American background and how it influenced him? I love how the Righties (aka "racists") play the shell game here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh-yR1HWkbM
Go to 1:58
Even though whites voted for 0bama in droves (supposedly for his character and not the color of his skin), he doesn't mention white people. Only Latinos/African Americans/Women etc.
Submitted by LouisCreed on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 6:04pm.
>>Doesn't Obama have stuff to do like.....his job?
Yes, which he does every day
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LMFAO !!!
Oh and I like how he mocked Trump for "losing sleep" over making a decision on who he should fire from his show , the Apprentice. Meanwhile, you know this guy has been losing sleep over his birth certificate bullshit for the past few weeks! Should I show it or not ? hmmmm. Yeah, wonder who was losing a few zzzzz's over that one!
Submitted by Schlong on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 6:23pm.
The Right has REACTED to a Black man being in office.
No. The 'Right' has 'reacted' to a Lefty in office. Just like Lefties react to 'Righties' in office.
Polarized and then some.
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You failed to tell me how he has polarized the country along the lines of race and sex.
The 'Lefties' went after Bush's policies rather than his identity. What "grassroots" movement formed to "uncover" his personal motives in politics? Sure, Nazi was thrown about in a conversation or two, but no big Democratic figure called him a fascist or Nazi like Obama has been called a Socialist or even Communist.
Submitted by Schlong on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 6:19pm.
I'm Jewish. And?
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Great, you're Jewish. And? This doesn't tell me anything. There are an equal amount of Jews who dislike Obama for not being as pro-Israel as Palin would be.
Besides, you don't speak for every Jew either. I'm not Black. We're talking about the general public here. This isn't a discussion about you and me.
The Right has REACTED to a Black man being in office.
No. The 'Right' has 'reacted' to a Lefty in office. Just like Lefties react to 'Righties' in office.
Polarized and then some.
Obama is half white. Why do you racists refuse to see that he is a mulatto and not an all "black" man?
Please. You racists are such bigoted fucks against whites it's hilarious.
Submitted by happyface on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 6:12pm.
I'm Jewish. And?
Submitted by Schlong on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 5:19pm.
Some of you stupid fucks see everything through the prism of 'race' and so does 0bama. He has divided this country more racially/sexually than any other president in history.
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This is a gem of a statement! Oh, the white majority will never understand why minorities are sensitive about being minorities when all they hear from the "Tea Party" aka "Whit and Old Party" is how they want to take our country back. And they formed a minute after letting a black man in the WH. How convenient! It's like telling someone who is burning that all they ever complain about is heat and pain. Yeah, motherfuckers, because it doesn't affect you!
Citing Clinton as an example to water down the notion that birtherism and the Tea Party concerns race doesn't do the job when you consider the fact that again, he was put in the same bucket as Black people, ie. "first Black President".
How has Obama divided this country along such lines? How? Please give an example. I'm waiting...
The Right has REACTED to a Black man being in office. How many ways have the said he is "different" than us? There has been more focus on his identity than on his policies and the rational discussion of a result of enacting such policies.
P.S. Did Bristol get a chinplant?
Submitted by shandi on Sun, 05/01/2011 - 5:26pm.
Now if we could only get his college records unsealed.
Nice to see the birthers have moved on so quickly.
I'm tickled that Obama whipped the shit out of The Donald! All you mofo fools saying the President shouldn't stoop so low need to get the stick outta your asses! Our stupid country gets easily sidetracked by news such as what Donald was putting out and we needed to see Obama for once not play the guy who turns the other cheek!
Please, we know there are "more important things". But this event is meant for humor. What is the President supposed to do? Skip the event? And secondly, how can we ignore the joke that is Donald?