Because There Can Only Be One Shauna (Sand) Lamas!
Lorenzo Lamas kept holy matrimony spinning in its grave over the weekend when he made 24-year-old Shawna Craig his 5th wife and future ex-wife in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. Like every thing that penetrates through the lucite bubble that covers Shauna Sand, the name "Lamas" does not want to leave her and will stay on as her legal last name. The constitution (and the laws of the gods) CLEARLY state that there can only be one Shauna Lamas existing in the 50, so this Shawna Craig trick has to keep her last name! BUT WAIT! A different idea has slithered into one of the pockmark's on Lorenzo's face and crawled up into his brain. Lorenzo will take Shawna's last name instead. Presenting Lorenzo Lamas-Craig!
Lorenzo's manager tells E! News that he's proud to become the first celebrity (?) to do such a thing! Such a fucking pioneer, that Lorenzo.
"He's going to legally change his name to Lorenzo Lamas-Craig. He's always thinking outside the box so he decided to become the first celebrity to take his wife's last name. His new wife didn't want to be called Shawna Lamas for obvious reasons."
Lorenzo Lamas is as crazy as his face is beat if he really thinks I'm going to call him Lorenzo Lamas-Craig. Typing and saying those extra syllables are just a waste of time. Time I can spend finding the 12-year-old slut from the 1980s that Shawna Craig snatched that half-sweater from. Besides, this marriage is going to last about as long as the will of a mortal man when he stares into the angelic eyes of the Empress of Lucite, so he'll be Lorenzo Lamas again in a quick minute.
Here's Lorenzo Lamas and his toddler bride Shawna Craig being greeted at LAX by a young child actor they totally hired from central casting. This really does count as an act of child abuse.
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aautepminer
didn't johnn lennon take Yoko Ono's last name??
Legally changing your name is about the easiest thing going. And it's just as easy to change it back. Your high school-dropout receptionist could do the paperwork. A tattoo shows far more commitment.
Other than having to service this geezer, she gets the better part of this deal. Everyone sort of knows who he is; now her name is out there, but she has her whole life ahead of her to do something with her new quasi-fame. She'll forever be "The 5th Ex-Mrs. LL-C."
Wow. Lorenzo's face looks like a fucking pickup truck drove over it, backed up and drove over it again. Too many years of sun exposure or something.
Fifth time's the charm....he means it this time! This beefcake moron loser will be divorced within the month. Bank on it.
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"Fuck that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee." - Dave Grohl
I would say 'Get that money, girl!" but how much money could he have left? Oh well, she's pretty
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
Jeez Louise why even bother? These people must LOVE paperwork.
♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
"When in Rome...hook up with a Black guy"~Lexi, BGC Season 5.
Til death do we part...part 5 to whatever. Why even bother to get married? Such bullshit...
Since, ppl were talking about whether or not a man should take on a woman's last name, I started searching the internet for opinions on it(yes, I am this bored today). Anyway, here is a brilliant(sarcasm) piece writing by someone saying he will call off his wedding if his fiance said she wouldn't take his name.
Yeah, I am getting married realllllllllllllll soon. NOT.
http://theinsanityreport.com/home/index.php/2009/08/13/dylans-corner/wom...
*Change is inevitable; progress is optional
*She who conquers herself, conquers all
Who is Elliott Dolin?
He's more interesting than the rest of these fucking morons.
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GERONIMO!
the other day I said LL was never that hot, but in the pic on the post about his wedding i thought he was kinda hot in a creepy way.
today I retract that statement. That pic above is the ugliest person I have seen in quite a while (and I've seen a couple accident victims with really fucked up faces recently). that is horror movie ugly. that's what a death eater should look like. lord help me for ever thinking slightly dirty thoughts about that man.
How do these folks have money? No really, I am serious. Do they sell old VHS tapes of Lorenzo's top 80's movies at the indoor swapmeet?
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TheBreakdown on Sat, 04/09/2011 - 2:28pm.
Why even go to college these days?
Just suck cock on cam, get pissed on for YouTube, learn Trickonics as your main language, and wear a slut dress every day....
He took his wife's last name cause he's "always thinking outside of the box." WTF? I mean the explanation alone is just so damn dumb. Jesus Christ.
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"'They See Me Rollin', They Hatin' chariot is born!" -MK
I am trying to figure out what he's done to his face.
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I am beyond hoffified
Lorenzo looks unhealthy...
Submitted by Junebuggy on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 4:57pm.
Daaaaaamn, happyface! You go girl. Tell it like it is! I have the strange urge to rip off my bra and beat some backwards patriarchal oppressor over the head with it!
I think I love you happyface.
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Awww. I hope you wear a waterbra. They're comfy, add extra support, and hurt the patriarchal oppressor's head that much more.
didn't Jay Moor did this a while back also?...his wife did not want to be Moor Cox so they both became Cox-Moor.
Sorry Lorenzo, the only thing you are pioneering is a record for the guy with the most marriages (and divorces) to skanks named Shauna.
His dad Fernando Lamas allegedly had one of the biggest cocks in old Hollywood...I hope Lorenzo took after Daddy in that department, because the rest of Lorenzo is BEAT!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-kfmuGHtxo
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
1.) She looks like a busted version of Salma Hayek. and
2.) He's not the first celebrity to take on his wife's last name. Jack White from the White Stripes took on and kept White after him and Meg divorced which was her last name. Not his.
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Please get the fuck out ---->
Lolo Lamas' face is truly beat...all those bad marriages...at least he looks better than the Empress of Lucite...but still, sheesh..he is a walking advertisement for sunscreen for real. I like his new peice's ethnic nose..good for her...maybe she will stay authentic and not plasticize herself.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jay_Mohr
Also, is Lorenzo still considered a celebrity? I guess as much as Jay Cox Mohr probably is....
In two years, he'll be telling some family law judge that MX marriages aren't valid in CA.
Submitted by happyface on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 3:19pm.
"I think your feelings are rather backward because what you're actually saying is that you think adding the other person's name shows the balance of power in the relationship and that it's okay for a woman to submit. It seems you've actually accepted a convention that according to you shows that the woman must give herself up (her name) and not the other way. That notion should be done with."
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Daaaaaamn, happyface! You go girl. Tell it like it is! I have the strange urge to rip off my bra and beat some backwards patriarchal oppressor over the head with it!
I think I love you happyface.
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Chickenfoot, come back! You're not a freak!
You're just stupid!
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At the rate he's going, he'll outscore Elizabeth Taylor in the marriage numbers. Not saying anything bad about Liz, it was the first thing I thought of.
Lamas is too busy licking box to think outside it!
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lol@"He's always thinking outside the box..."
Jay Mohr took his wife's last name years ago. Sorry LL, you're not that original.
I am still trying to figure out if LL and Antonio Sabato, Jr.and their wives are the same people.
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My candle burns at both ends, it will not last the night
But oh, my foes and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!
- Edna St. Vincent Millay
I mean, look at him:
http://www.moviemarket.com/Photos/P201142_C48532.html
HOT!!!
(are we allowed to post links here? I hope.)
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 2:14pm.
men hyphenating their names to their wife's name is just lame and stupid. I don't know why, but it just is. it seems de-masculating to me. :\
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Why? Back when women were property, yeah it made sense. I think your feelings are rather backward because what you're actually saying is that you think adding the other person's name shows the balance of power in the relationship and that it's okay for a woman to submit. It seems you've actually accepted a convention that according to you shows that the woman must give herself up (her name) and not the other way. That notion should be done with.
(My parents always hoped I either kept my last name or my husband hyphenate mine with his. I guess I was raised to never give up any semblence of my identity for a man, or anyone else for that matter.)
There is a purpose of a couple sharing last name and that is to show that you're now one family. As long as they both share a name, nobody is immasculated.
Having said that, Lorenzo should take away even his first name and just become Lamas.
Lorenzo used to be SUCH a hot piece when he was on Falcon Crest (I was a kid and my mom watched that shit.) What did he do to himself to age so badly???
creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy!!!
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Christ, that guy is wreckage. I can only assume the woman is either under coercion or is mentally ill. Nothing else explains it.
a face bob villa & a belt sander luvs ♥
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
This is actually a good move for the new wife,s career...she,ll eventually do a sex tape with Lucite and it won,t be obvious they are related.
Wait, I think it would sell more if they were related...well Lorenzo can make an appearace and "sort things out."
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My candle burns at both ends, it will not last the night
But oh, my foes and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!
- Edna St. Vincent Millay
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 2:17pm.
I don't get where he has the money coming in to support all these ex wives and whore children!?!?
I just assume all these people are prostituting for money. Like all these f-list "actresses" who live lavishly and turn up at events, and yet they've only played some minor role in some movie years ago; for example, Kate Bosworth, Rachel Bilson, Lohan, etc.
Why don't they just change both their last names to FakeButtChinImplant?
Lorenzo Lamas Craig is so smart...his agent won't return Lorenzo Lamas calls. but when he says it's Lorenzo Lamas Craig, it's like it a brand actor is calling for work...
When this union dissolves into the ugly mess you know it's gonna be in a couple of years, who will get to keep the name?
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
I thought all his wives were named Shauna Sand?
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
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What a dumb tool son of a bitch.
That's ghey!
I'd like to introduce you to my new chin...er wife.
An off the shoulder 1/2 shirt with third nipple exposure option...charming.
I don't get where he has the money coming in to support all these ex wives and whore children!?!?
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."
Do they know that you can get married and still keep your maiden name? If I were marrying that douchebag, I'd keep my name just to save paperwork later on after the split.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Anybody who has been married 5 times isn't marriage material. But, what does a gold digger care? All about the Benjamins.
*Change is inevitable; progress is optional
*She who conquers herself, conquers all
men hyphenating their names to their wife's name is just lame and stupid. I don't know why, but it just is. it seems de-masculating to me. :\
They say so in Hot Tube Time Machine, so it must be so. :D
I think she's attractive. Certainly more tolerable than that plastic probstitute he used to be married to.
She's not "cute", more like "handsome". It doesn't look like she cakes the make-up on and she seems fit. She reminds me of this volleyball player I used to bang when I was in the military.
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It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
She kinda looks like that horrible actress on "NCIS." Other than Mark Harmon, I can't stand that show.
For some reason I use to get him and Antonio Sabato Jr. mixed up when I was younger...ironically, I probably would still hit Antonio Sabato Jr. Lorenzo Llammas? Not so much. :-/
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
Renegade, wtf happened to your face? In the main pic it looks like he lost his chin.
Thinking outside the box? If he spent LESS time thinking about box, he wouldn't be on his 5th marriage.
His face is a fucking disaster zone.