JLo Introduces The World To The Slut Dress' Cream Cousin
In front of an ocean of plucked brows, yearbook photo expressions and an albino Chris Brown, JLo brought her Cherpumple ass to BET's 106 & Park and showed off her goods in a peek-a-poo dress that tells everyone she's Spanx-free and is most likely wearing a thong that's skinnier than the needle Skeletor uses to inject pure Puerto Rican virgin blood into his anus veins. JLo was not on there to promote the skin on her hips, but she's also got a new album out called "LOVE?".
I was reading the comments about this look at my Internet bible, the Daily Mail (I know, I know), and the majority seem to think that JLo is a 41-year-old abuelita who needs to cover up that side thigh window with curtains or some shit. But I'll have them know that my own abuelita had a dress just like this, except she wore the cut-out in the front over her Virgin Mary panties so it looked like the mother of Jesus was peeking through a window.
I mean, are we really living in a world where prude bitches think it's not okay for a grown woman to wear Noah Cyrus' future job interviewing dress on national television?! Don't get me wrong, JLo is as irritating as a chipotle pepper enema, but I must defend her right to bare thigh skin. Besides, that shit sort of looks like lattice pie dough. And who doesn't love pollo pie?!
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im a fan of a good slut dress but that one is ugly! her skin tone is all wrong for that colour too. if you're gonna play peekaboo with the side of your ass like that jlo, at least go tanning or get the dress in a different shade -.-
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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other). - MK
EDIT: No offence to genital warts! ;)
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Sarcasm is lost on the truly ignorant.
Wow. That's 2 for 2 this week. 2 events; 2 dresses; 2 "Epic Fail's" for J-Ho. (At least, these are the only 2 I know about - I avoid AI like it has genital warts!)
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Sarcasm is lost on the truly ignorant.
Submitted by jsanto24 on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 11:29am.
To keep the ageism going here...
In her new song...the beginning starts "It's a new generation of party people" Really? The new generation of party people is a 40 something with 2 young children?
Oh, lordy. I heard that song on the radio a few days ago and thought it sounded like a Kesha song. I kept expecting her to break out mid chorus with "Tik tok on the clock...."
Submitted by Athina on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 11:25am.
I just noticed her huge, tacky hoop earrings. As my ex used to say, "The bigger the hoops, the bigger the ho."
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That's my problem! I love big hoops. The bigger the better.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 9:12am.
I think the air vents are a good idea.
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hahahaha!
.
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBJLoYd8xak&feature=fvwrel
Made of stretch material of course, this is of Serena Williams' (or is it Venus) creations. Tennis anyone?
11:05am.
Submitted by original putas on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 10:30am.
I'm always disgusted by the ageism on this site. Everyone here MUST be 19 because how else do you explain these stupid comments.
So, you claim to be disgusted by ageism, and then immediately launch into a rant about people in their twenties. Ageism,much?
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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
Why does the Daily Mail have more American news than British news? I used to think it was an American tabloid based on their front page with American news stories. They are UK's version of right-wing Fox News and seem obsessed with U.S. crime stories and celebrities. Is their not enough British news or something?
Ummm, I am all for adventurous fashion and I like a lot of the stuff she wears but...oh no.
Submitted by contrario on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 4:08pm.
Just trying to imagine Gloria-All-Red wearing this dress...
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Keep your sick fantasies to yourself, contrario.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBJLoYd8xak&feature=fvwrel
Just trying to imagine Gloria-All-Red wearing this dress...
Submitted by Puppy Love on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 10:20am.
She apparently believes all that "World's Most Beautiful Woman" nonsense People Mag ran a few weeks ago. Which BTW made me laugh when she said men don't look at/come on to her because they're "afraid" of Skeletor.
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Of course people are afraid of Skeletor. He's a Death Eater.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_Eater
This no talent bitch just can’t stop herself with all these appearances, now can she? She is such a fame HO its tragic.
She looks like old low class trash as usual. Her typical snarling continues in an attempt to be sexy, she just comes off looking arrogant and nasty, which is what she is. How come she isn’t with those babies she claims to care about soooo much? They are probably at some boarding school. What a rotten mother!
JHO’s trashy disgusting untalented antics will continue - I bet her ‘lewd’ tape will come out, once the public turns on her, or forgets her. Wait and see.
Submitted by Spiffy McSpitshine on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 12:18pm.
Not discussing that "dress", but her face and body look great
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I never once got why so many ppl found her great looking back then and i still don't get it today. She's average looking at best.
I'd hit it ... when it's 5 AM at the barn disco, all the actual attractive women have left, i'm sauced and declare a sexual emergency. Then and just then.
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You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway
This dress makes me think of her underwear. She must be not wearing any? So she's walking around leaving a trail of pubes? Perhaps she's completely bald? I despise her for making me think about her vulva.
>:<
Submitted by original putas on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 10:30am
All the 21-28 year olds I know these spend their time on facebook, talking out their asses about absolutely NOTHING all day. They don't pay rent, they're not looking to advance in life, they see themselves as "kids". I know I'm getting old because I don't get this shit.
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Ageism and unfair generalizations goes both ways, right? I know people in their 20s who are managers with teams under them, business owners (party planning service,coffee shop), teachers, and I have another friend in her late 20s who is a lawyer. They are homeowners and starting families. They are more likely to help their parents than vice versa.
She's irritating as hell, but it is impressive that she can fit into that dress.
You can take the skank out of Castlehill....
Not discussing that "dress", but her face and body look great lately.
Nothing is more important in this world than
lookin' spiffy
Submitted by Schlong on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 9:18am.
The "bandage" dress is yesterday's news.
Her body is still rockin', but she needs to class it up. Her hair up in a tight bun and a skinny black dress that clings to her curves with some black heels... Oh fuck, I sound gay now.
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But I thought you were gay...at least that was the impression your avie gave me. :-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-kfmuGHtxo
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
=Orignal Puta!
I am 41 this year with 3 kids. I am telling JLo honestly mujer a mujer...
Dress is not for her.
Never got a vibe we had kids here.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Submitted by original putas on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 10:30am.
Thank you original putas for phrasing my thoughts better than I could have ever done myself. You tell them like it is!
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Who are you calling silly cow?
she must have had some more work done in the past year. She looks beautiful, ib the face. She also looks thinner than she has been in years.
She has a great smile, and a great laugh. That is my say something nice.
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It's hard to tell you all the love I'm feeling
That's just not my style
You got a way to set my senses reeling
Every time you smile, whoa
-Firefall "You Are The Woman"
Submitted by jsanto24 on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 11:29am.
To keep the ageism going here...
In her new song...the beginning starts "It's a new generation of party people" Really? The new generation of party people is a 40 something with 2 young children?
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LOL! I thought the exact same thing.
Well, achally I thought: Yeah, that's right so MOVE, BITCH! GET OUT THE WAY!
♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
"When in Rome...hook up with a Black guy"~Lexi, BGC Season 5.
stop it Guadalupe...where's Marc? Kim Kardashian will always upstage her, she was peed on
To keep the ageism going here...
In her new song...the beginning starts "It's a new generation of party people" Really? The new generation of party people is a 40 something with 2 young children?
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*Beauty fades, but bitchiness gets better with age!* - MK
Most women have stretch marks on their hips (I do). why the hell would you draw attention to them? That cutout is like a fucking FRAME for them.
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It's hard to tell you all the love I'm feeling
That's just not my style
You got a way to set my senses reeling
Every time you smile, whoa
-Firefall "You Are The Woman"
I just noticed her huge, tacky hoop earrings. As my ex used to say, "The bigger the hoops, the bigger the ho."
I don't care what her age is, nobody with hips that size should wear a dress that chops them up into little sections. It just makes them look bigger and lumpier.
And since there aren't any other major cut-outs, it just makes you gawp at her ass and hips. Pear-shaped women are supposed to draw attention to their boobs.
BTW I don't think it's ageist to say she's too old for that dress. At a certain point we expect people to dress with a certain amount of dignity and class, once they've gotten the crazy ho shit out of their system. It just looks trashy to wear a dress with ass-cutouts when you're forty-plus with two kids.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
She's so transparent (no pun intended, ha!). Look, she would NEVER wear that ghetto-ass, low- rent wreck of a dress ANYWHERE other than BET. This is JLo trying to look young and relevant. Any other time you see her, she's all about the couture.
RE: the ageism on this site. I don't think it's ageist to point out that after a certain age, a woman can't pull off certain looks. This is one of them.
Wasn't it revealed a while back that her assistants sew on labels for smaller sizes onto her clothes? She's just too fucking big for that dress for one, not taking into consideration her age or the fact that the thing looks like the Quasimodo of dresses.
Submitted by original putas on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 10:30am.
I'm always disgusted by the ageism on this site. Everyone here MUST be 19 because how else do you explain these stupid comments. If there's one thing I can't stand, its aggressively young people. When I was 21 I had friends of all ages. And I understood that life is no more "over" for a 41 year old than it is for a 25 year old. Now I'm 38 and I have friends in their sixties.
All the 21-28 year olds I know these spend their time on facebook, talking out their asses about absolutely NOTHING all day. They don't pay rent, they're not looking to advance in life, they see themselves as "kids". I know I'm getting old because I don't get this shit.
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yeah, that's right, get off my lawn too! spot on, puta. :)
She has just as much right to look trashy and cheap as everyone else, and she does it just as well if not better.
Is that whole prominent forehead vein thing a sign of Botox? I've been noticing that on a lot of celebs lately...
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
I'm always disgusted by the ageism on this site. Everyone here MUST be 19 because how else do you explain these stupid comments. If there's one thing I can't stand, its aggressively young people. When I was 21 I had friends of all ages. And I understood that life is no more "over" for a 41 year old than it is for a 25 year old. Now I'm 38 and I have friends in their sixties.
All the 21-28 year olds I know these spend their time on facebook, talking out their asses about absolutely NOTHING all day. They don't pay rent, they're not looking to advance in life, they see themselves as "kids". I know I'm getting old because I don't get this shit.
JLo is a beautiful woman, at any age. Hate on haters.
Which pic has the cellulite? I've looked and don't see it.
Dude in the orange shirt fills me with happy.
I miss the days when celebrities would release their product, promote it for a few weeks/months, and then disappear into obscurity for a while.
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
A true skank is gonna shift that slit to the clit!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
She apparently believes all that "World's Most Beautiful Woman" nonsense People Mag ran a few weeks ago. Which BTW made me laugh when she said men don't look at/come on to her because they're "afraid" of Skeletor.
Darling, you're too big and old to come even close to remotely pulling off this look, which is for the young and the slim. Or at least, the younger and slimmer.
I despise this talentless, annoying, egomaniacal, selfish, spoiled, conceited, phony, ugly sow.
Girl, you are over 40. Let that shit go.
She's all over the place lately, hawking Idol, hawking razors, hawking albums, hawking perfume. This brings to mind the blind item about the celeb with money troubles hustling to squirrel away as much money as possible in order to make a clean break from her awful husband. JLo, is that you?
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Are there ever any photos of her parading her kids around anymore ? Haven't seen any in quite a while.
And her days of wearing that particular dress are about 15 years over. Muffin sides .. not a good look either..
Was it bring your Mom to the set day?
No teen listens to Jlo unless she is talking to one of the kids on American Idol.
But to have her hawk her album.
Bad PR move.
Sorry Slutty Rabbit, but those sexy tricks are for kids.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Nice cellulite bitch.
She probably wore the same outfit when she waved Hannibal across the mountains.
'Cos, you know. She's old and stuff.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
Submitted by DeeDee on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 9:51am.
Her album should be titled, "Who buys this crap?"
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and an added bonus/hidden track titled "Change the Litter Box, Music's in the Air"... in both Spanish and English!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Desperation...NOT a good look
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R.I.P. Justyna :(( 05/03/2011
Submitted by catfight357 on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 9:42am.
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 9:39am.
Oh my! Her hip is like the Play-Doh Fuzzy Pumper Barber Shop.
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exactly. I see this or a pasta maker. Can't you just picture long strands of pasta/play doh pumping out the side when she sits?
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Yep. Like grating cheese.