The Bieber’s Egg-Throwing Rival Arrested

Justin Bieber nearly became the special ingredient in a lesbian toddler omelette at one of his shows in Sydney last week when a huevos terrorist threw eggs at the stage. Not one of the eggs hit the Bieber’s hair bowl of dreams, but the 17-year-old boy accused of attacking him with yolk was arrested in Bondi Junction this morning and charged with breaking and entering, trespassing and malicious damage. Strangely enough, bitch also wasn’t charged for having shit aim.

The New York Post reports that the egg tossing teen (which was also my nickname in high school for a totally different reason) allegedly broke into Sydney’s Acer Arena via the roof and then dropped half a dozen eggs onto the stage. Not one egg hit The Lesbeaver or his dancers. The teenage Bieb hater was released on bail and will have to answer to the charges (and humiliation) in Parramatta Children’s Court on June 2nd.

The police found the egg tossing teen thanks to Twitter and Facebook.

This is just a sad fail all around. Everybody knows that if you’re going to throw whatever at a performer, you buy a ticket in the front row so they can’t charge you with trespassing. Some Aussie Bieb haters might’ve even donated to this cause. I swear, what the hell kind of curriculum are Australian high school teachers teaching during vandalism class?

This dum dum has probably spent hours toiler papering (and sprinkling Rice Krispies on the wet lawn, and spreading tooth paste on the windows of the car parked in the driveway, etc..etc..) his rival’s house only to find out that he vandalized the wrong house! An embarrassment! His punishment should be to clean the yolks off of houses that have been egged in the middle of the night. Trust me, scrubbing dried yolk off of stucco is not a fun way to spend your Saturday morning. You don’t know how many hours I wasted scrubbing off yolk when I could’ve been watching episodes of She-Ra on VHS instead.