As Frozen Pigs Fly Through Hell....
The only reasonable explanation for this is that a swarm of locusts stole Xtina's red lip paint and the guest of wind from the four horsemen riding by pulled the 7 layers of bronzer out of her pores. Because this picture of a nearly SANS FARDS Xtina out with her boyfriend in NYC last night is what the stamp on your Apocalypse invitation would look like. Even her teeth have dimmed out of sadness because they don't have a frame of red lipstick around them. Seriously, this is image is making every cosmetics mogul assume the fetal position while contemplating their futures.
This look is what I like to call "hospital chola." It's what you would see if you visited a chola friend or relative in the hospital after she gave birth to the son she named after an oldies crooner (cholas love oldies more than they love Starter jackets). Bitch is too exhausted to pick up a Sharpie so she slaps on some fake eyelashes, dusts herself with Jordana eye powder and calls it a day.
Since it is Mother's Day, I will stop here. And it's not right for us to slap at Xtina while she's being attacked by a crimped beast who escaped from the compost pile of weaves in Brit Brit's backyard.
• 
Ya know how you say "so and so is a fat, ugly bitch" and most times it's just anger or whatever; well this bitch IS fat and HIDEOUS
That damn bitch is so fucking ugly!
She looks like she could be a guest star on "Little House on the Prarie" as the orphan girl that smells like piss that Nelly hates & half-pint befriends only to learn she's dieing ......straight up FUG!
Who goes through the trouble of putting on all that eye makeup (She's wearing at least eyeshadow and mascara if not falsies) and not brushing their hair?
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
If you washed her face and hair and brushed her teeth, put her in a clean-looking pony with tinted moisturizer, mascara and lip gloss-she'd be so cute!
On the bright side, at least she still looks better than say, Gaga, or Snooki.
This bitch totally looks like Marilyn Manson!!!!!!!!!!!
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Don't judge me
How drunk is this ho?
Did no one tell her white eyeliner has been out since 1994?
Nice fuckiing bra too. UGH!
Damn, she's fucking ugly.
This is no sans fards situation! She's wearing tons of makeup; she's just minus the red lippy. I think people are so used to her in that, that when she wears a different color lipstick she looks like she's not wearing much makeup.
She looks really young here and her skin looks great. She has a glow to her (hmmm...). But there is NO excuse for that hair.
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Dark-sided!
Without the Maaco paint job, she looks about 15 years younger and 150% less skanky.
oh......shit..... I don't even know what to say...lean like a chola, SANS FARDS?
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Really, in the near future most of the population will be directly related to KFed, Lil' Wayne or a Duggar. We're doomed. -MK
why do her teefs look like that?
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."
if you're not giving her shit for the amount of make up she "normally" wears, it's for the amount she isn't wearing? lol yeah, she's a celeb, but she is still a human with a private life. She was not working here, she doesn't perform on stage or appearances like this. Don't really see the big problem, actually seems pretty un-diva like to me. At least she's not a blatant fame whore. That said, her hair is beyond fug. But someone said she had a photoshoot so maybe it was crimped for that or whatever. It looks like she did her own make up lol. I've seen pictures of her without makeup & pictures without red lipstick, her entire career from like 98 to back to basics was no red lipstick & doesn't wear it all the time, I don't know why some people act like it's impossible to find lol she looks younger without makeup imo.
& the diva rumors...who doesn't have them? Take them with a grain of salt. Carson shut down the rumors the other day on the air with Perez on the phone & Perez posted a retraction/update on it. & the Mary J. Blige thing is over, not to mention a misunderstanding. & Mary just asked Christina to sing at her charity event with her a few days ago.
Am I the only one who thinks her bf is kind of cute? Just cute though. & I'm still kind of on the fence about it.
oy vey...i see faces like this walking around my local walmart...
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
Such a pretty girl. goes to such great lengths to fuck up her face. :(
leave it alone and count your blessings..
It's official: She gave up.
It's official: She gave up.
She doesn't look all THAT bad. Just goes to show you what "magic" a ton of stylists can produce on just about anyone.
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"I mean, sentenced to 120 days and sat in there for about as long as a Pink Floyd song?" - MK
she looks like shit. she was never attractive but now- she really looks awful.
and yet maxim tells us she is one of the 100 hottest on the planet.
and some other 'hotties' like jwow and amanda bynes
good god, i thought they were a humor magazine.
i don't find those kind of sick jokes to be funny at all.
Christina needs a real man. I wish I was that man.
Meh, we're all entitled to our shitty days, even/especially delusional divas.
She needs a good chola name, though:
La Diva Loca
Lil' Snooktina
La Sad Teefs
Lil' Joker Face
La Chichona
Mad Singerz
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Lmao! This^
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Please get the fuck out ---->
The sad thing is, only Gwen Stefani is going to be able to age gracefully with the white blonde hair and red lips.
Xtina is going to have to find a new look, but she won't.
That's the really sad thing.
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GERONIMO!
She is kinda gross looking here.
In that second last thumbnail she looks intellectually challenged. Maybe it would help if she had her lips plumped some more? And the sad part is that this one can actually sing.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Maybe if Kurt Cobain had seen this back in the 90's and went for it rather than what we all know he chose, he'd still be alive.
It would be his type, but prettier and not a heroin addict.
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GERONIMO!
Well, I know one of the Kentucky Derby horses was carted away in a vet van yesterday.
I see it's been released into the wild.
Award-winning tail, I say.
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GERONIMO!
Submitted by Abusive Exclusive on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 8:53pm.
@ literarylioness:
Ha, mcnightmare called it.
LOL! Some people who say that are telling the objective truth; some are deluded. It's less important what the person thinks about him- or herself than what others think.
So if Lioness is getting carded a lot, that says something. (I dunno: She goes out a lot?)
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I don't go out too much, but it has happened enough to make me wonder and I've seen the shocked look on my students' faces when I reveal my age. I've never lied about my age or been shy about giving it either. To be honest, I only think about when it comes up.
I don't care one way or the other, but I just did not agree with the blanket statement that once you turn a certain age or have children you just look bad. I do agree what you do in your youth will catch up to you at some point.
When I look at someone like Will's Kate, I have to wonder what that broad did to get more crows feet than my mother who is nearing 67. Geez, that broad and her sister, look ten years older than what they are. What did they do to themselves? Did they smoke and drink at an early age? Too much sun?
I don't think X-tina looks old so much as bad in these pics.
She's either pregnant or high. Hopefully not both.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
Yeesh - I am usually the first to jump on X-Tina's ass for wearing way too much makeup, but now I see why she does. She looks horrible ... ick!
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This signature will be publicly displayed at the end of my comments.
http://hipandcritical.blogspot.com/
Submitted by LaChaylo on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 9:56pm.
She needs a good chola name, though:
La Zona Rosa.
Submitted by LaChaylo on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 9:56pm.
I vote for 'La Sad Teefs'.
Partly because it's accurate and partly because it's the funniest.
Xtina really needs to develop a sense of humour about herself.
You can get this look too. Just hold your index fingers over your eyebrows and viola.
"Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 8:21pm.
I honestly thought that underneath those pounds of makeup was a pretty girl.
I stand corrected! She looks like one of the family members from Texas Chainsaw Massacre"
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Yeah well take it from me-I saw her in a flea market in LA a few years ago wearing a hat sans fards and it was worse than a Texas Chain Saw Massacre family member…she should have stuck with Bat boy…..
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Meh, we're all entitled to our shitty days, even/especially delusional divas.
She needs a good chola name, though:
La Diva Loca
Lil' Snooktina
La Sad Teefs
Lil' Joker Face
La Chichona
Mad Singerz
Submitted by Abusive Exclusive on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 8:53pm.
@ literarylioness:
Ha, mcnightmare called it.
LOL! Some people who say that are telling the objective truth; some are deluded. It's less important what the person thinks about him- or herself than what others think.
So if Lioness is getting carded a lot, that says something. (I dunno: She goes out a lot?)
@ literarylioness:
Ha, mcnightmare called it.
Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
Get a nosejob please.
ok that bleached hair are really suffering and those extensions are not fooling anyone, i think she doesn't look half bad other than the unfortunate results of over-working her looks which is fried shitty sick looking hair and non-existing eyebrows.. I hate when women don't know when to stop.. look at Sofía Vergara or i dunno, other naturally beautiful women..thick healthy eyebrows, natural toned hair..they don't mess too much with what nature gave them and it lasts longer.. when you intentionally make yourself look like a yellow fried diarrhea looking scary albino(find real albinos very cute BTW) you end up looking unfortunate and desperate even if you started of as naturally beautiful underneath all that shit.
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I guess her personal umbrella holder was in the mood for "genie in a bottle"-xtina.
I think she looks about seventeen in the pic.
She'll never be really pretty - but for once she doesn't look like a tranny for hire.
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"I'm not looking for vocal acrobatics, but I am looking for a fucking drank so pass one here!"
ubmitted by Hoegarten on Sun, 05/08/2011 - 3:42pm.
XTina and Brit Brit are like the cute high school cheerleaders who never had to try to look good then. Once they hit their 20s, the boozing, carousing and motherhood caught up with their bodies and it was all downhill from there
Isn't that every woman?
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Nope! I am nearing 41 and I don't look like this! No one can figure out my age, but they never guess 40's. I just got carded recently too and the guy did a double take.
I think the booze, late nights, cigs, and pancake make-up do catch up with you. In the case of Brit Brit, it is also the indoor tanning.
I do not go near the sun and my skin thanks me:) I never smoked, barely drank, and have good genes. I also do not believe in fake hair-bad for your scalp.
I really hate that guy
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http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy
Call Jenny now, Christina.
I honestly thought that underneath those pounds of makeup was a pretty girl.
I stand corrected! She looks like one of the family members from Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Idk, I just don't buy in to the whole, you are famous, we buy your records so therefore you have to look hot 100 percent of the time. It's a career like any other career, just because we are snotty and greedy and self-absorbed and arrogant to believe they infact have to put on a show for us on their offtime when the curtain goes down is more so our problem. Not theirs. Everyone has a false sense of entitlement, especially when it comes to celebrities(not that those overpaid assholes don't have their own version of false entitlement themselves, that we help them create, then wanna about the hot mess they've become afterward). No, you do not have a right to go up to them when they are eating to ask for an autograph or stare them down because you saw them in a movie or in a concert. The whole idea that they "know" what they got in to, to me is like saying "They know what they got in to because we as human beings in general are nosey snotty self-entitled assholes who feel like we have a right to go up to a complete stranger and intrude in to their personal space like it's our fucking right because we are essentially assholes with no fucking manners." You wouldn't like it if someone did it to you, and the whole "Well I'm not a celebrity so it would be different" is not an excuse. It's Not. You might want to use it as one to justify the means, but it's no. News flash it's not your fucking right.
It still wouldn't have killed her to run a comb through that shit though.
P.S. why the fuck is site running like slow ass?
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I guess I must have weird tastes but to me she looks better than here then the heavy clown face make up.
Can't make myself care...I need another album! Something like Stripped, not the recent one.
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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
The no-eyebrow look doesn't work. It's creepy.
Plus, something is seriously not right with the orange nose. Otherwise, I think she looks better without pancake and barn red lips.
.
.
Where are her eyebrows?