Arnold Wants Maria Back
The announcement that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver have separated after 25 years of marriage set off a thousand IThoughtTheyWereGoingToLastForevers, but apparently this has been a long time coming. Maria tried to evict The Schwarzenegger from her life two years ago, but then her mother passed away. Maria then tried again earlier this year, but her father. Everybody's death kept screwing with her divorce plans! People are so selfish! But now, Maria has put all of her loved ones on the eternal life plan (Jack LaLanne juice, kitten videos and fleshlight aerobics) and is trying to make this divorce shit happen for real this time! On the other hand, Arnold isn't ready to pry his dehydrated apricot claws off of Maria just yet. Arnold wants to make it work.
At an Israel Independence Day Celebration event in L.A. last night, Arnold declared his love for Maria and thanked those who have supported their decision. This speech would've been so much better if it was given by 3 titty prostitute from Total Recall.
"I just spoke to Maria an hour ago before I came here. We both were saying the same thing – we're extremely blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful people, by so many wonderful friends.We both love each other very much. We're very fortunate to have four extraordinary children. And we're taking it one day at a time. The bottom line is we want to thank all the people for their great, great support."
Thank you for that touching pair of paragraphs that we could've read in the "personal life" section of your Wikipedia bio. Thank you for that.
In that telephone conversation with Maria, Arnold might've hit her with the old Austrian plea for forgiveness which involved a lot of grunting, stomping and threats that he'll turn her into a raven and steal her fritters. TMZ says that Arnold desperately wants Maria back and has promised to change his ways. Sources say that Maria's main issues with Arnold are that his ego is bigger than his glazed chest dumplings and he can't keep his dick in his pants. But Arnold is suddenly acting sweet and it's confusing Maria. The source added, "Arnold has done a 180. He's been really sweet to her since all this went down. Maria has been tortured over pulling the plug on the marriage. One day she's determined to get the hell out, and the next day she just can't do it."
Isn't this how it usually works? One minute, the bastard would rather make out with a pile of dried dog poo than touch you. Then as soon as you deliver his quittin' papers, he's got his non-lips all over you and is begging you to let him lick off the residue of pain he left on your skin. Don't fall for it, Maria! Arnold is only using you as a front to the hide the fact that he's working for an underground agency called The Omega Sector that's headed by a one-eyed Charlton Heston. I seen dis in a movie! But seriously, we should all hope that they make it work. If two bacon-wrapped skeleton people can't make it, none of us can!
And here's Arnold trying to make out with some lady's neck in Beverly Hills yesterday. Or maybe he's trying to fish out her wallet.
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Arnold is a well known Hollywood/Venice Beach homosexual and neeeds a beard.
We'll see what happens.
"Friday the 13th I'm a play Jason"
Submitted by loopygorilla on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 9:53am.
Don't fall for it Maria.
His peen is not that good, what good is a peen that has been passed around like a bottle of vodka at a frat party.
If Maria falls for his shit, then this will be the first time in history Arnold has EVER EVER acted.
and if he pulls this shit off, he deserves an Oscar.
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Yup!!
I remember when Spy magazine wrote a piece about Arnold cheating. He's a pig and has always been one. She never seems to be happy. She needs to escape that fuckery. Serenity Now!
He'll be banging Dakota Fanning by July.
A guy with an IQ of 95 who has become:
5x Mr. World.
The Biggest Box Office Action Star in the World.
The Governor of California
has a big ego?
Who would figure that, what a surprise.
Submitted by spankypants on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 12:24pm.
Kennedy women DO NOT age well.
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So true. She's a walking, talking death's head. Want to really scare yourself? Imagine if she and Skeletor (aka Mr. Jennifer Lopez) ever procreated. The horror show!!
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"I'm just going to stop at the 24-hour donut shop and then go home."
"What are you depressed about? Or celebrating?"
it was said he was a cheater back in the day..i remember reading a premier or rolling stone article about him where a reporter was told arnie was ready to be interviewed and the assistant lead him into his movie trailer when they walked in arnie was going down on some starlet...he didnt even care that he was caught his comment was something like "eating is not cheating"...its something i have remembered this whole time every time my friends where on a crazy diet or saw him on tv we would mimic his stupid accent and repeat that line...
Arnold wants the Kennedy name back.
I don't know how the hell he got her to begin with.
That is all.
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GERONIMO!
Submitted by Bella...
Ah, thanks. You dlisted bitches know how to rip. Sorry, but the more vile you got about your sister-in-law, the funnier the post (happens here). She sounds just awful. You should really sock it to her this year and give her a beautifully wrapped, absolutely crummy Christmas gift.
That's probably his daughter he's hugging in that pic.
She knew what she was getting into when she married him. She even says so in one of her books. Don't like either one of them. At all.
Submitted by Starqz on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 9:29am.
For those who haven't seen Arhnold's junk already here's a peek:
http://www.gallery.fingolfn.net/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_it...
If you stop taking steroids do your nuts plump back up?? cuz from that pic I'd think he's not working with much.
****************************************************Michael K. is my sister from another mister!
Kennedy women DO NOT age well.
Was that photo taken at Madame Tussaude's Wax Museum?!? I've seen more natural looking skin on a corpse.
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Michael K. is my sister from another mister!
Submitted by Few Words on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 9:14am.
you know you luvs it sluts
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i no dat i luv u ♥
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Resist the urge to return to a codependent relationship, Maria, you can make it on your own. Arnold's ego is the only thing that wants her back. He wants her back so he can feel like a macho man who can "get her back any time" and continue to put up with his shit.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
It totally made sense for them to marry: He had political aspirations and wanted a beautiful, politically connected wife by his side. She wanted assured wealth and Hollywood glamour. He was always a closet Dem anyway, who just ran as a Repub because that was the tide at the time. Anyone who's best buds with Fabian Nuñez can't be a real Repub.
I was thinking the wallet on a chain is a subconscious metaphor: He wants to hold onto his money, so divorce is bad.
Their son (17), who goes by "Shriver" for obvs reasons, tweeted yesterday that his parents' split was just another bump in the road of life, but thankfully they all had Hummers. Not kidding. You can't grow up in Brentwood and not be warped.
Bella,
I have a very similar-sounding SIL. Someone once told me to Google, "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" and, sure enough, that's what she's got. My BIL and SIL are as Catholic as the Kennedys, though, so I see myself having to endure this beeyotch 'till everyone's kids are grown at least. :(
She strikes me as far to intelligent to fall for his cock-and-bull stories, but then again, she was stupid enough to marry him.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Maria strikes me as a cold bitch, but there have been stories about Arnold cheating for years. I hope Maria makes him sweat it out awhile. Also Maria needs to get some hot sex somewhere else for a bit.
Submitted by Juniperjump on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 8:21am.
Never marry a man that carries his wallet on a chain.
_______________________
OH no! I'm currently dating someone who carries his wallet on a chain.
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"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
— William Goldman
Frankly, I don't know why she married him and had kids with him in the first place. It was common knowledge back in the day that he was a philandering egotistical piece of sh*t, wasn't it?
www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
www.petfinder.com - Enter your zip code & find pets available in your area for adoption.
The man is a whore. Maria should had dumped his ass years ago.
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"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
— William Goldman
Some years ago I heard Arnold, when he first came to this country, pretty much went to the highest bidder. Supposedly he had a string of Sugar Daddies(yes, Daddies)who helped him finance his penchant for real estate investing.
Submitted by Bjork You on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 8:58am.
Submitted by Bella: "I know Ahnold is a cheating dog but Maria freaks me out because she looks like a grade A bitch. Like literally, her face is almost identical to my sister-in-law's, who is probably one of the most evil, vile, narcissistic pieces of shit to ever walk this earth."
I had heard about his cheating, too. Weren't there some sexual harassment allegations?
Ooh, do tell, please, about your sister-in-law.
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She's the epitome of CUNT! She doesn't have one redeeming quality, she's a malicious, ugly hag that doesn't feel good unless she manages to make everyone around her feel like shit.
Her latest achievement was telling her oldest daughter that she had never been able to love her, that she (her daughter) was unworthy of love. Thankfully, her daughter is fully aware that her mother is a piece of shit and she hates her guts but a vicious comment like this strikes a nerve nontheless.
She also seems to take a special joy in ruining every single christmas for the family by acting like the spoiled brat she is, sulking because the presents she gets are never good enough. And we're talking about a grown ass woman here!
And to top it off, she's pathologically materialistic and a fucking shopaholic. She and my brother are up to their necks in debt.
The only thing she does is talk shit about people (like that fucking bitch can afford bad-mouthing anybody!) and shop. She can't even clean the fancy fucking house that she just had to have.
Ok, rant over ;)
Don't fall for it Maria.
His peen is not that good, what good is a peen that has been passed around like a bottle of vodka at a frat party.
If Maria falls for his shit, then this will be the first time in history Arnold has EVER EVER acted.
and if he pulls this shit off, he deserves an Oscar.
Where is Joey Greco of "Cheaters" when we need him? Maria, he will help you see the light and expose Arnold and his cheating ways on camera, for all to see.
Submitted by IrishFury: "I don't get the Marion Davies ref.
And I want to read that book!"
Oops, got my mistresses mixed up. Joe Kennedy's mistress was Gloria Swanson (that Gloria of the masterpiece "Sunset Boulevard"). Supposedly Mrs. William Randolph Hearst advised Rose Kennedy to ignore it, telling her something like, they sleep with the mistresses but remember that they are married to you (her husband was boning actress Marion Davies, whose clitoris is Citizen Kane's Rosebud [it was Hearst's pet name for her little man in the boat]).
"In the Woods": http://us.penguingroup.com/static/rguides/us/in_the_woods.html
Don't fall for it Maria. Cheaters always pull that "180, I am so sweet now, I've found jeebus act"..until you get comfortable again. Then they are back to trying to hump the leg of every female (or male) in a 100 mile radius. RUN!
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
I don't get the Marion Davies ref.
And I want to read that book!
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Dark-sided!
why would she seperate from him now? She put up with him all thse years
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
For those who haven't seen Arhnold's junk already here's a peek:
http://www.gallery.fingolfn.net/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_it...
Submitted by IrishFury: "It was Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy who is responsible for the uglines of the Kennedy's, not her husband Joe Kennedy."
Whoa, somebody's on Marion Davies' payroll! Joe had the looks, but Rose had the money. I'm not sure from whom of them got the horse teeth, a rather unfortunate trait. John-John was fucking hot. I used to see him playing football in Central Park, and one time I saw him on the 4 train, all unobtrusive and gorgeous and shit.
Off topic: By the way, reading a book, "In the Woods" by Tana French, which takes place in Ireland. It's about two kids disappearing in Knocknaree. So far, so good.
The pictures of Arnold kissing on the blonde woman made me wonder what it would be like to have sex with that big old side of beef. I guess Maria liked it once but all I can say is UGH!
Judging by the looks of their eldest daughter, I would say that Arnold slightly softened the Kennedy female facial fuckery curse!
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He might have financial reasons for putting off divorce. She stands to inherit a lot of Kennedy dough from oil and other investments. Her current net worth might even equal or exceed his.
The cheating question is interesting. Marriage is a bundle of rights and duties. Some cheated-on spouses are able to partition and set aside the fidelity part for the sake of the overall marriage, perhaps when kids, investments, career, family, etc. are involved.
I couldn't, but that's just me. I couldn't take sleeping, holding hands, or acting happy with an unfaithful spouse, knowing she preferred someone else more than me and our marriage.
arhnuld outta wear his conan the barbarian loin cloth cause i know old hags dig saggy balls
you know you luvs it sluts
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Maria and Ahnold were together for 11 years before they got married, no way she was a virgin. And I saw a nude picture of him in his body building days and his schlong came halfway down his thigh! No wonder she stayed with him!
They both suck so they should stay together just to keep their suckage contained within a smaller area, vs setting their individual suckiness free to spread out amongst the rest of society.
Bjork
Apparently he sexually harassed many women on various movie sets. They came together when he was campaigning and made a stink but I don't think an actual lawsuit occured. Arnie did apologise if he upset any women though! I think he's one of those types on a movie set who thinks pinching the ass of lots of women would be seen as a compliment to them!
I don't think he's an asshole, per se, I just think he thinks offering himself to the ladies is a gift!
And totally co-sign with whomever said Maria looks like John Kerry in a wig. The Kennedy women look really masculine although the whole family tree have great hair.
It was Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy who is responsible for the uglines of the Kennedy's, not her husband Joe Kennedy.
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Dark-sided!
I heard that she was a virgin when she met him and that they didn't have sex until they got married. So meanwhile he's screwing everything in sight all the while kissing her and her family's ass. She was just part of his evil political plan. And she turned a blind eye because that's what Kennedy women do.
Hasn't it been rumored he is bisexual? Maybe he was Travolta-ing it one night
Maria to Arnold: "You are terminated, fucker" (in Sarah Connor voice).
I really want to make a whitty comment about this story...but I realized that I could care less. Divorce, get that money, and keep it movin'.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
Submitted by Bella: "I know Ahnold is a cheating dog but Maria freaks me out because she looks like a grade A bitch. Like literally, her face is almost identical to my sister-in-law's, who is probably one of the most evil, vile, narcissistic pieces of shit to ever walk this earth."
I had heard about his cheating, too. Weren't there some sexual harassment allegations?
Ooh, do tell, please, about your sister-in-law.
Submitted by barburger on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 8:25am.
I lift things up and put them down.
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LOL!
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Dark-sided!
Just what I thought, he has apparantly been cheating on her, is anyone surprised? Obviously what"s going on here is that as soon as Maria gets strong enough and decides that she's done with his bullshit for good he pulls the classic case narcissistic/emotionally abusive trick and plays on her sympathies in order to get her back.She needs to not fall for it this time and leave his muscled-up ass for good..
NONE of the Kennedy women age well, and Maria is the best looking one...
which is not saying much!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
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Remember that time Arnold was walking around on the planet Mercury and then he tripped like an asshole breaking the glass on his space helmet and then he started freaking out and his eyeballs were bulging and he couldn't breath how the fuck did he survive that??? God he's amazing.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.