Lindsay Lohan's Probation Officer Thinks She's A Drug Addict
Before sentencing Lindsay Lohan to 14 days in her own living room today, Judge Stephanie Sautner said that she doesn't think the little ginger cokehead is a cokehead at all. Judge Stephanie thinks that deep under her fried freckled skin, she's got issues that she's trying to control by self medicating (story of all our lives). Basically, it was Judge Stephanie's professional way of saying that her parents are a pair of toxic balls of shit. But LiLo's probation officer disagrees with Judge Stephanie's diagnosis and wrote in his report that she is definitely a drug addict and substance abuse is the root of all her problems. The probation officer then wrote a list of all the meds that are making their way down LiLo's throats. The list proves that LiLo could become a champion on the competitive pill popping circuit. The list from 411mania:
Nexium for heartburn!
Yaz for birth control!
Zoloft for depression!
Trazadone for depression!
Zyrtec for allergies!
Doxycycline for a bacterial infection!
Zythromax for a bacterial infection!
The probation officer also wrote that she failed a booze test a month after she was released from Betty Ford. The police also interviewed the staff at several restaurants LiLo visited during her stay at Betty Ford and they all said she enjoyed a glass of the sweet nectar or two.
This only proves that Lindsay Lohan is a completely responsible adult woman! These are harmless pills! If LiLo didn't take Yaz, she'd probably have one of those "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" moments and birth out a baby in the urinal of some bar's men's room. Does humanity really need another Lohan? We all answer NO to that. See, LiLo is thinking of us! As for the antibiotics, you can't cure chlamydia with a mixture of Cool Mint Listerine and Everclear. Trust me, I've tried.
I don't think that's a shock, Lindsay is notorious for her drug problems, it's because of these substances she got in all that jail trouble. I never was able to understand why she never could quit drugs, she had all the resources to afford it. I know people that were at drug rehab Florida and solved their drug problems, why couldn't she?
Hopefully she takes 6 of each one days and...
Submitted by ditquoi on Thu, 05/12/2011 - 10:52am.
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 7:36pm.
The justice system may be swift and stupid but karma is a bitch all day every day...
You DO realize that calling karma a bitch is bad karma in itself?
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"I mean, sentenced to 120 days and sat in there for about as long as a Pink Floyd song?" - MK
To hell with the pill, sterilize this bitch already!
@ditquoi: Haha! Use away! I use it on myself cuz I'm pretty good at evading the justice system too;p
♥ Threadkilla!
Pose Like a Chola:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUWN3wBUGr8
her parents are fuckin wack. that's her problem. the drug use comes from that, but she's a damn adult. not a child.
I really don't understand what the fuss is. So she has heartburn, sex, and allergies. So does a majority of the United States. Apparently caught some sort of STD.. So this makes her a drug addict? Lets stop making needless reasons to report on this girl and leave her alone.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 11:47pm.
Team probation officer, because in the end, does it really matter WHY you're doing drugs? The mere fact that Lohan relapses time and time again makes her an addict. Admitting that one cannot control one's addiction or compulsion is step one, so that judge is not doing Lohan any favors by making up excuses for her. If I used my family as an excuse, I could start drinking at 4 am every day.
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Yes! And, at 4AM, you'd be struggling to catch up with me since I would have started at 2:45 AM!!
Well said, Mickey!
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"And people try to tell me that God wasn't high on the good shit when he made this place" -by angel_i
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 7:36pm.
The justice system may be swift and stupid but karma is a bitch all day every day...
Um, can I use this? I don't have a quote on here but I plan to drop these pearls of wisdom on several bitches in real life who could use them.
*standing o*
Why is she on birth control? Have I skipped the memo where Lohan was back to men? Or is Sam Ro capable now of shooting sperm?
What gives people?
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 8:54pm.
She is totally fucked up and a truly useless human being. If she hadnt "made" it in Hollywood snorting coke off of urinals in her Choo's, mopping floors and emptying trash in grim neighborhoods would be what she would be really doing with her life now.
no honey, she'd be a whore. meaning she'd be trading sex for money on a full-time basis. well, meaning that she'd be trading sex for money on a full-time basis but wouldn't be able to hide behind the "actress" title.
did you peep her list of drugs? hometrick (literally) had a one too many "business meetings" because clearly she's got a fourth of july fireworks display in her panties these days.
so, my question is obviously, there's something unseemly about a man who has to pay a woman to have sex with him. attractive guys get it for free, period. so there's usually something wrong with a dude when he's frequently the professional pussy peddlers. but wtf is wrong with you that you would clearly see sparks and smoke emanating from a lady's lady parts and you still want to hit it AND pay for it??? Good lawd. 8-P
Submitted by Vermithrax on Thu, 05/12/2011 - 10:09am.
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You almost LITERALLY need a hazmat suit to be near this bitch.
GROSS!
@ M.E. - agreed. ICK NAST, even.
So yeah, 14 days at home... boy when they bring the hammer down they don't fuck around do they. Can't wait to hear about what a harrowing, life changing experience it was ad nauseam in the flood of interviews that will surely follow.
And here is my PRE-EMPTIVE DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 10:43pm.
I think she was very stupid to pose in front of a coffin, but how apropos.
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Foreshadowing.
So, looking at the two antibacterial drugs she's taking, bitch has a severe case of the ICKS.
Disgusting. Disease ridden whore.
I think they only give you the Doxycycline PLUS Zythro for really nasty infections so firecrotch indeed...hope ERRBODY's wearing a condom within a 5 mile radius of that poontang. :P
Doxycycline tears your esophagus to shreds with acid reflux. She probably wouldn't need the Nexium if she weren't on the Doxy. That's right. I play a doctor on the internets.
But no Seconal or Dramamine? I don't understand...
That is NOT a drug addict list, Trazadone are joke pills, not serious if you are an addict...I dont think anything on that list would make her a suspect for an addict. RIDICK!!
I'm sure this has been covered, but why does a lebanese need birth control?
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Always look on the bright side of life
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart: "I hope someone told this dumb cunt that her antibiotics cancel out her Birthcontrol."
Being an irresponsible drunk cancels out birth control, too. You have to remember to take it every single day. And then again, alcohol cancels out antibiotics.
This dumb bitch is a mess.
(I know a certain someone who is always forgetting to take her pills and often "doubles up". Then she wound up pregnant twice in three years. She couldn't understand why. Fuckin' DUH!!)
In a nuclear apocalypse, there will be three survivors: cockroaches, Charlie Sheen, and Lindsay Lohan. I am convinced that nothing on this earth can kill either of them...their livers should've checked out ages ago.
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"Fuck that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee." - Dave Grohl
Hey Lindsay, no one fucking gives a shit. The only one who should give a shit is you. And since you don't, please fucking go away.
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TheBreakdown on Sat, 04/09/2011 - 2:28pm.
Why even go to college these days?
Just suck cock on cam, get pissed on for YouTube, learn Trickonics as your main language, and wear a slut dress every day....
I hope someone told this dumb cunt that her antibiotics cancel out her Birthcontrol. The last thing I want to hear about this freckled bitch is that she reproduced.
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Thank heaven she is on birth control.
That is all.
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
so in LA as long as im famous i can literally do whatever the fuck i want, i can mow down 20 people with my mercedes, do cocaine infront of a judge in court and when she says something, stick the finger at her.
and still get off scott free! damm i love the american justice system for celebrities!!
OK, I didn't scroll the comments, but isn't Zythromax a three day course? or 7 at most? How does that qualify for a pill-popping list? I is confused...
I'm too lazy to read all the posts, so I'm sure this was already covered by us shameless sluts, but those two antibiotics are the ones they usually give for Chlamydia and Gonorrhea.
Good to know she's just a trashy as ever!!
The pharmaceutical companies can suck a dick. Natural medicine all the way, with a splash of potato vodka. Haven't been sick in years.
Trazodone is usually prescribed for insomnia ... the only time (most) docs will prescribe it for depression is when that depression leads to a decreased level of pain. What kind of doc does she go to?!
When I'm good, I'm good.
When I'm bad, I'm very good.
Anyone else think she has a rich sugar daddy who pulled some strings to keep her ass outta jail?
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
I didn't know faux-lesbians could get pregnant. Or is Sam Ronson, like I expected all along, a boy?
I know ninety-year-olds who take fewer meds.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Team probation officer, because in the end, does it really matter WHY you're doing drugs? The mere fact that Lohan relapses time and time again makes her an addict. Admitting that one cannot control one's addiction or compulsion is step one, so that judge is not doing Lohan any favors by making up excuses for her. If I used my family as an excuse, I could start drinking at 4 am every day.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
tired of Lilo.
Aside from the fact that everyone seems to be in agreement as to the fact that LL is a delusional loser, I would like to bring something up....
The actual pictures are a joke!
I mean, talk about Photoshop.
If they were real pictures, her skin would look like a dirt road on the way to nowhere, her eyes would be a roadmap of broken blood vessels, and her teef would be like, meth teef all the way if she wasn't wearing those fake fangs.
Not to mention that the glossy hair would be more arid than Kim Zolkniack's (sp?) wig.
Why do people even take pics anymore?
I could have been in those pics! Anyone could have been, with the way Photoshop is ridiculously abused today.
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GERONIMO!
Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 11:13pm.
Someone on this site was talking about that today--just glanced at the thread while at work. Honorary degrees don't mean much--I figure the schools give them out to celebs to draw more alums with donative intent to the grad ceremonies.
Isn't Lindsay like 5 years too late with the vampire theme? My understanding is whole films and TV shows already exist on that theme.
Submitted by oh dave on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 11:11pm.
I tried trazedone for insomnia once or twice but it's also an antipsychotic for people that have violent mood swings. It's a very strong sedative.
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God! Is it really an antipsychotic?
My Dr. told me it was a mild antidepressant!
In any case, it didn't help, so maybe I am beyond psychotic....
I really need to Google stuff. Seriously.
Although it was years ago that I took it, but that info is disturbing.
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GERONIMO!
If she is combining those meds with other street drugs and alcohol then she's going to be permanently in that casket soon.
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"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
— William Goldman
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 11:08pm.
Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 11:06pm.
Even her freckles couldn't stand her.
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Ha!
I know this is OT, so I'll stop after this, but Goopy is pushing 40 and she's barely graduated high school...
I can totally see in the next few years various top-level schools giving her "an honorary PhD!"
Which will give us all the more bile to choke down, but I have spoken! :)
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GERONIMO!
I tried trazedone for insomnia once or twice but it's also an antipsychotic for people that have violent mood swings. It's a very strong sedative. Maybe they don't want to be responsible for giving her meds like that at the jail.
I agree though that it seems like she totally scammed her way through again.
http://soundcloud.com/burning_plastic
http://twitter.com/#!/burning_plastic
that poor woman, she's probably trying to correct her career and her life yet the idiots around your neck of the woods considers her a liability.
I'm happy I live in New England and have a normal job. Not you Michael, but your commenters are quite spiteful, I hope she's doing well, and she really isn't that awful as an actress.
Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 11:06pm.
Even her freckles couldn't stand her.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 11:02pm.
Lindsay is giving me a sort of Phoebe Price vibe: desperate for attention, D-list, will appear in anything, awkward poses, bad fashion choices, heavily freckled...
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Speaking of heavily freckled, what has happened to Goopy's freckles?
A casualty of Michael Jackson's fade cream, perhaps?
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GERONIMO!
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 10:40pm.
My point is that non-celebs get away with shit, too.
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Very true, fishsticksfan. The only difference is the general population (i.e., those who aren't actually working in the legal/law enforcement systems) only hear about the famous a--holes getting away with shit. Unfortunately, the system is so overburdened that b.s. deals (like the one LiLo got) are made all the time. Actually, when I read the facts of the case I didn't think LiLo would get *any* time for it, so 14 days house arrest & all that community service is better than I expected.
Fishy, believe me, I know that's what you meant.
I just went on a little because a little sharing about pedophiles never can hurt, maybe it can help.
Lindsay....I had so much sympathy for her for so long, but been there done that, I'm over her.
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GERONIMO!
Lindsay is giving me a sort of Phoebe Price vibe: desperate for attention, D-list, will appear in anything, awkward poses, bad fashion choices, heavily freckled...
Again, my point with sharing that sad story is that lindsay doesn't even deserve our contempt. Centy, sorry for what you've gone through.
Raven, I see the silver lining, which is to say that evil things have been going on forever. Now because of technology and progressive laws, these dregs of society can be outted. I have a registered sex offender living two doors down from me and the victim was a girl younger than 5. Well, thanks to these laws people are 'over protective.' I think (hope!) things are getting better. :)
Fishy, that is a disgusting article and may that poor woman rest in peace.
She has my blessings.
I have strong feelings about pedophiles.
I believe they cannot be rehabilitated and should be locked up for life, but of course our criminal justice system does not allow for that.
I also think that they were born that way and cannot help themselve, which is why I think they should be locked up for life.
It makes me physically ill when I hear a pedophile has struck again.
I'm serious, I get dizzy, and I have vomited a few times.
I have been sexually abused, but when I was a teenager (14, my high school English teacher) and walked away before it became too bad.
However, it was a long time before I truly believed that it wasn't my fault.
What a PIG.
Thanks for sharing.
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GERONIMO!
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Wed, 05/11/2011 - 10:34pm.
that story is horrible. i HATE people.
there has been a colossal shift in how twisted people are. i mean maybe this shit was going on all along but we didn't hear about it because we didn't have social media to update us on the minute about what's happening in the world.
it just seems there are hundreds of these stories every day.
and all the stories recently of children being abused and/or killed by their parents, step parents (Casey Anthony, Zahra Baker etc). it is unfathomable to me how people in general have no conscience about their behavior. how can parents do this / allow this to happen to their kids?!
i can't wrap my head around it.
anyway, it's way way past this bitch's bed time. 5:00 am comes way too early. thanks for the chat up. been around her for a LONG time but don't post too often. i appreciate the interaction. have a good night all.