Lady Gaga Is Better Than You In Every Way
Seen here wearing a "Caca Jumped Over The Moon" dress in London this afternoon, Lady Gaga wrote a 2-page masturbation piece for V Magazine where she anointed herself a glam librarian who can teach a master class in fashion and art. The only thing Lady Gaga's article taught me is how to roll my eyes and fart at the same time. Caca starts stroking her dick right away:
"Glam culture is ultimately rooted in obsession, and those of us who are truly devoted and loyal to lifestyle of glamour are masters of its history. Or, to put it more elegantly, we are librarians. I myself can look at almost any hemline, silhouette, bead work, or heel architecture and tell you very precisely who designed it first, what French painter they stole it from, how many designers reinvented it after them, and what cultural and musical movement parented the birth, death, and resurrection of that particular trend. So dear critics and bullies: get your library cards out, because I'm about to do a reading."
Jesus damn. It's like I'm stuck next to the know-it-all first year art student at a party and trying to find a way to excuse myself so that I can go pet the cat in the corner for four hours. But nope, she has more to say and the shit she's full of is bubbling over and starting to produce more thoughts. Like this one:
"Any writer, or anyone for that matter, who doesn’t understand the last two sentences of this column should NEVER be writing about or critiquing fashion or artists in publication. As someone who references and annotates her work vigilantly, I am putting all of you on notice. I've done my homework, have you? Where are your library cards? Did they expire?"
And this one:
"There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular. Cells give birth to cells. To put it more bluntly, the Hussein Chalayan vessel I wore at the Grammys wasn't inspired by a chicken. It was stolen from an egg. But the transformation, the context, and the approach taken to reinterpret the meaning of birth and rebirth in terms of fame on a fucking red carpet — this is what creates the modernity of the statement. The past undergoes mitosis, becoming the originality of the future."
BITCH, you fucking write songs about telephones and mirror ball dicks! And to think I started to get sweet on Caca for wearing Lucite penis heels. Typical me. Always getting blinded by plastic dicks.
Gawker has scanned the entire thing here for your enjoyment.
And since you were wondering, I did not understand the last two sentences of her column, because why in dusty hell would Nan Kempner carry her fucking library card around? What is it with Caca and library cards? Who carries around a library card anymore? The way she goes on about the damn library makes me think that she thinks she's Parker Posey in Party Girl. Caca wishes. HEY! HEY! GOODBYE!
• 
Let me break it down for those who don't know.
You missed the ENTIRE point of the library card. I'd expect readers of dlisted to know about this kind of thing. You need a library card to read (people, things, etc). It's from drag, and was featured in "Paris Is Burning" and most recently on RuPaul's Drag Race. She's just using the term to say she's being read wrong (probably due to Nan's library card expiring or do they even have one? Asking for them to check is like saying "Before you attempt to judge me, ask yourself if you even having the credentials").
The rest of the interview is typical GaGa... she was spewing lines like this out WAY back, before Poker Face even happened. I don't know if she's delusional, it's an act, or she actually believes into her schtick. All I know is that it's the physical equivalent to her fashion - loud, exaggerated, meant to excite/distract the senses of those easily impressed or naive enough.
YAWN! I think Caca is greatly over stepping her limited intelligence and has resorted to blathering bullshit to keep the great unwashed, her Little Monsters, confused. Confusion concerning the ramblings of someone you adore and emulate makes them seem so very wise and deserving of the adoration she receives.
Personally, I think she is full of crap and not much talent. Her reign seems to be coming to an end.
Submitted by Bjork You on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 12:38am.
By the way, I posted my last comment at 2:22am (going to bed now), not at 12:36am. Why does this happen, MK? TIs not, I say, tis not, accurate.
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Must I 'splain this every day!? It's MK Savings time!
(seriously tho - it started almost 2 years ago at daylight savings time - at that time he reset the time so it was ahead by 10 minutes....and then the next time instead of going backwards, he went forwards...I'm not sure what happened this time but he really is saving us a LOT of daylight and we should all be grateful!:)
♥ Threadkilla!
Pose Like a Chola:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUWN3wBUGr8
Gaga went from novelty act to pretentious bitch who has her head so far up her own ass that it comes out of her neck hole again much faster than I had expected. I was going to give her at least 2 more CDs for that to happen. I bet she's alienating a lot of her original fan base with this schtick.
Lady Gaga, dude... JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP, ALREADY!! Jesus!
Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 9:42am.
I'm sure the Catholic church is shaking in its bishop miter after reading this incoherent bunch of nonsense.
hahaha. Zackly. Best thing the Church could do for her would be to recognize and criticize her.
...........
"Only fools think that men and women love differently. Fools and pedagogues. I tell you, the love of men for women is just as heartbreaking, just as muddled, just as bewildering, and in the end just as unfinished."
Gaga has officially jumped the shark.
Born This Way was featured as the final song on the final show during the wedding of the finale of BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
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GERONIMO!
has Lady Gaga even acknowledged the fact that one her sick fans killed a cat to wear its intestines as a costume for her concert???
You're dress looks like a Clearasil or Stridex pimple wipe, BITCH! You're no Hermione Granger, so stop with the faux educated shit. You're just an Illuminati puppet. Sell out.
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
What exactly skilled thought
cheap raquette tennis raquettes tennis raquette de tennis raquettes de tennis
I read the whole piece that Gawker scanned. She does give props to Madonna (love how she mentions Maripol), and she's dissing people who don't carry library cards. (Re: the Nan Kempner reference: she was a huge socialite, up there with Bunny Mellon, Pat Buckley [racist cunt], Betsy Bloomingdale, and my hot bitch Anne Slater. YSL adored her [afterall, bitch dropped thousands and thousands of dollars on haute couture], and she was a Park Avenue doyenne, so she was probably all up in that NYPL fundraising stuff.)
OK, so just by reading the scanned crap interview, I have found that she really doesn't know pop culture- as she says Bazooka Gum comes with "tatoos." It comes with little comic strips. Boo-ya! She doesn't even know 1980's (that is when I last had that gum)
Don't believe me? Google it. She is du-dumb!
in the words of Rick James, "Cocaine is a hell of a drug."
Nothing to say about Caca, I'll just ignore her as usual. Buuuuuuuttttttttt..........
"Who carries around a library card anymore?"
Um...I do!
ETA: Not in the Caca sense, I mean, I literally have a library card and visit the library often.
the end
I'm sure the Catholic church is shaking in its bishop miter after reading this incoherent bunch of nonsense.
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
Why are people paying attention to her besides for songs and videos? Why are we validating anything she says? Someone needs to shut her up and keep her focused on singing and dancing.
"I myself can look at almost any hemline, silhouette, bead work, or heel architecture and tell you very precisely who designed it first, what French painter they stole it from, how many designers reinvented it after them, and what cultural and musical movement parented the birth, death, and resurrection of that particular trend".
Yeah, but you can't write Marc "With a C, bitch" Bolan right (see ful article to understand; try not to vomit)
She looks like one of my Tramadol pills, so I'm going to say this is her best look yet. The end.
Prom pics coming soon....
She sounds like oxycondtinated-Rush Limbaugh, who spouts all sorts of meaningless gibberish, which if you really listen, makes no kinda sense even if you agree with his doctrine.
Also, methinks she meant to say curator rather than liberrrian, (no offense to our librarians, its my fave place to be)as she was tryin' to go all highbrow & shit.
*chanting as always*
Submitted by Cat Scratch on Thu, 05/12/2011 -
Even adhering to her idiotic philosophy, I'd say that fucking outfit she's wearing in the picture is a direct reference to Easter m & m's either that or 4'th graders oral report on the planet Pluto.
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I just figured she raided the old Scrooged costumes and stole Karen Allen's Ghost of Christmas Future scene outfit. You know, the part where her character is supposed to be a vapid, narcissistic NYC socialite (hmmmm . . . )
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
I've got nothing against artsy illuminati chicks, but Nico or Veruschka she ain't...
Submitted by stake_spike on Thu, 05/12/2011 - 8:57pm.
'Someone is snorting way to much blow. She sounds like every other cokehead who thinks their ponderings are so intellectual, really they're ramblings of someone who is too far gone to realize they are spewing shit that doesn't make sense to anyone but them'
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Totally my thoughts. This is beyond, how could anyone...? I mean, it's astounding how stupid and deluded she is. She truly, truly believes if she says something all the idiots will believe it.
If she is such a fashion historian, I await those who challenge her.
And I hope she pissed off the couturiers that dress her. Her 'genius' trumps all their years of study.
Yeah, I can tell the hemline of what i'm wearing now. It's called what ever was the fucking cheapest and comfiest hoodie I could find first. Go fuck yourself with your shoe... BITCH!
Goodnight, ladies!
***********************************************
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
Submitted by Bjork You on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 1:12am.
Okay, bed time.
Nice chatting about "The Help." I finished it last week and had no one to talk to about it. You guys rock. (I will check out "The Gargoyle" even though I was disappointed to read that there are no actual gargoyles.)
Night, night mes bonnes femmes!
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Night Bjork, I enjoyed chatting about "The Help" too. Let's check out "The Gargoyle" this week and meet back here next week "to discuss" (said in Mike Myers/Linda Richman voice from SNL).
I better get to bed too, have a wonderful Friday Hotmami - it was great talking with you!
*hopes "The Gargoyle" has lots of blood and guts*
________________________
Welcome to a world where the people teaching our youth are making 1/20th of what the whores tainting our youth are making. YAY!!!! - MK 4/9/11
CSG, I actually was satisfied with the ending, which is weird, because I usually hate ambiguous (sp?) endings. I like all the loose ends tied up, good or bad.
Bjork, Aibleen's explanation for leaving children broke my heart. It's proof that racism is taught, not something you are born with. And they totally have to put in the part about the cake. It's all that saved those women in the end.
And Celia was a fucking HOOT. Loved her. Especially after the homeless man scene.:)
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I can't wait to see how the movie portrays Celia at the society ball - it should be priceless! There were so many great characters and story lines in the book, I hope the movie does it justice.
__________________________
Welcome to a world where the people teaching our youth are making 1/20th of what the whores tainting our youth are making. YAY!!!! - MK 4/9/11
Okay, bed time.
Nice chatting about "The Help." I finished it last week and had no one to talk to about it. You guys rock. (I will check out "The Gargoyle" even though I was disappointed to read that there are no actual gargoyles.)
Night, night mes bonnes femmes!
Thank you MK for the Party Girl reference, I love that movie & yes CaCa wishes she is Parker Posey! The house beats on that movie are the best & are still fun to dance too. CaCa will eventually borrow from that movie sooner then later
Submitted by Bjork You on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 1:01am
Thanks for including the link to the trailer - I'm going to arrange a night for the girls in the book club to go see the movie. The other book we read which we loved was "The Devil In The White City" (it helped that the story was set in Chicago, where we live). I read that a script is in production and they should start filming here next year.
__________________________
Welcome to a world where the people teaching our youth are making 1/20th of what the whores tainting our youth are making. YAY!!!! - MK 4/9/11
CSG, I actually was satisfied with the ending, which is weird, because I usually hate ambiguous (sp?) endings. I like all the loose ends tied up, good or bad.
Bjork, Aibleen's explanation for leaving children broke my heart. It's proof that racism is taught, not something you are born with. And they totally have to put in the part about the cake. It's all that saved those women in the end.
And Celia was a fucking HOOT. Loved her. Especially after the homeless man scene.:)
***********************************************
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
"The Help 2"
Already my dlisted brain is casting from MK's clients (Shauna Sand, Phoebe Price, and that big-breasted British boob [Harvey's mom]) and thinking of some twisted, pornographic, humiliating sequel.
(Yes, it seemed like at the end, la, la, la, everything works out. Except MS a whole lot of shit still went down in MS during that period [and after]).
Oh, and the scene with Minnie and the floozy and that nasty homeless man (I'm trying not to spoil it for those who haven't read it yet or are in the process of doing so).
Submitted by Hotmami on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 12:49am.
Hilly Holbrook infuriated me like no other book character. Holy shit, I was incensed throughtout the reading of "The Help". I wanted to bring Mae Mobley home with me.
Yeah, right? That book was fucking hilarious at times. Oh, the sad way racism is indoctrinated. Remember Aibleen's line about leaving children at a certain age, learning the hard way the necessity for it? She doesn't say it outright, but it's about how these children you once raised and loved turn into 23-year-old racists. Yet another example of the remnants of the peculiar institution of slavery.
The trailer: http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/the-help/trailer
(If they leave out what Minnie did, it will ruin the movie.)
Here's the imdb cast list: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1454029/
Submitted by Hotmami on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 12:49am.
Hilly Holbrook infuriated me like no other book character. Holy shit, I was incensed throughtout the reading of "The Help". I wanted to bring Mae Mobley home with me.
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ITA - although every time I got pissed, Minnie made me laugh so hard I had to wipe away tears. I loved the story and hated to see it end. Did you think it ended rather abruptly tho? It almost seemed like it was leaving open the option of a "The Help 2".
__________________________
Welcome to a world where the people teaching our youth are making 1/20th of what the whores tainting our youth are making. YAY!!!! - MK 4/9/11
_Submitted by Bjork You on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 12:52am.
CSG,
I'm telling you, pick up "In the Woods."
http://us.penguingroup.com/static/rguides/us/in_the_woods.html
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Just read the plot summary and it sounds great, I'll definitely read it.
_________________________
Welcome to a world where the people teaching our youth are making 1/20th of what the whores tainting our youth are making. YAY!!!! - MK 4/9/11
Submitted by Bjork You on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 12:36am.
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Thu, 05/12/2011 - 10:58pm.
Hey, you little trollope!
I just finished reading "The Help." The next dlister/troll who writes something racist on the thread will be nicknamed Hilly Holbrook. Even though I understand the controversy surrounding the book (white woman writing in black women's voices, Stockett's brothers maid, named Ablene [who also had a son who died] is suing her, blah, blah), I got caught up in the story. Love, love Minnie and the woman she worked for. The Junior League Ball scene was great. I will go and see the movie because I liked the book, and I like that actress Jessica Chastain. (By the way, check out that movie "Hannah.")
I'm reading this really good Irish detective novel by Tana French called "In the Woods."
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OMG, there you are, you whore. I've been repeating "Bjorkie, Bjorkie, Bjorkie" three times into my bathroom mirror trying to get you to appear.
I loved "The Help" - the book club chose it and I wasn't sure I'd like it because I have an aversion to all things 1960's (I think it has to do with the horrible hair, fashion and unprotected sex that led to the STD's which ruined what could have been unbridled teenage experimentation in my youth, if I wasn't completely inhibited and guilt-ridden - but hey, a girl can dream). But my favorite "Help" character was Minnie - bitch could bake a chocolate pie like nobody's business. And I loved her pathetic employer too - poor thing, I spent three quarters of the book thinking she was a lush and she was just depressed about not havin any babies! I loved that book and can't wait for the movie.
So how are you Bjorkie? Are you behaving yourself (I hope not). I'll check out your Tamara French recommendation too.
__________________________
Welcome to a world where the people teaching our youth are making 1/20th of what the whores tainting our youth are making. YAY!!!! - MK 4/9/11
CSG,
I'm telling you, pick up "In the Woods."
http://us.penguingroup.com/static/rguides/us/in_the_woods.html
(Now, I haven't finished it, so it might suck, but I'm promoting it anyway.)
Hilly Holbrook infuriated me like no other book character. Holy shit, I was incensed throughtout the reading of "The Help". I wanted to bring Mae Mobley home with me.
***********************************************
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
Submitted by suckandfuck: "What Mother Monster says here is very interesting. I love the intersection of science and fashion she presents, this is a true thinker and a truly great talent. I appreciate the call for the ingestion of information of the past, what's old becomes new again. My brain is racing at the curtain being pulled back on her thought process. A beauty, a talent, a librarian, a biologist, a dancer, a singer; is there a more perfect pop artiste today?"
Yes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2PQP0pm3z0
Shame on you for forgetting this.
Submitted by Hotmami on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 12:30am.
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 12:23am.
The Gargoyle is about this guy who gets damn near burned alive in a car accident.(It's very descriptive...bordering on nauseating) While he's in the hospital recovering, he meets a woman who tells him that they were lovers in a past life. It's gross at times, but also very romantic if you're into that kind of book. I cried at the end. Also,I bought it back in January and it hasn't left my end table. Every time I finish it I open it again:)
Good to see you!
ETA: If you're into human drama books, you should try Fall on Your Knees...CRAZY family drama.
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You had me at "nauseating", "lovers", "gross" and "romantic" - kinda sounds like my marriage before it blew all to hell. I'll definitely read "The Gargoyle" and "Fall On Your Knees", I love getting personal reviews on books. I belong to a book club which I enjoy, but my tastes are much more graphic then the Jane Austen book club readers I meet with once a month. They like highbrow stuff - I'm much more into the James Patterson gore. But it's all good.
__________________________
Welcome to a world where the people teaching our youth are making 1/20th of what the whores tainting our youth are making. YAY!!!! - MK 4/9/11
By the way, I posted my last comment at 2:22am (going to bed now), not at 12:36am. Why does this happen, MK? TIs not, I say, tis not, accurate.
Submitted by fucklistthisone... on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 12:27am.
Weeeell, let's talk about hoe's private life instead: family and more importantly: what is she fuckarooing with?
Craacraalady, you admittedly distract me with this expired self-foolery every other week and you probably want to be thrown into the waste bin while getting photcraacraafed....
Show us your huney so that we can FUCKLIST him her it. www.fucklisted.com
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Hey Spambot fuckwad - please pass this message to your "human" engineer:
GET A RELIABLE TRANSLATOR ASSHOLE. You make no sense, even to those of us who have been drinking for hours to numb the pain of our existence.
________________________
Welcome to a world where the people teaching our youth are making 1/20th of what the whores tainting our youth are making. YAY!!!! - MK 4/9/11
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Thu, 05/12/2011 - 10:58pm.
Hey, you little trollope!
I just finished reading "The Help." The next dlister/troll who writes something racist on the thread will be nicknamed Hilly Holbrook. Even though I understand the controversy surrounding the book (white woman writing in black women's voices, Stockett's brothers maid, named Ablene [who also had a son who died] is suing her, blah, blah), I got caught up in the story. Love, love Minnie and the woman she worked for. The Junior League Ball scene was great. I will go and see the movie because I liked the book, and I like that actress Jessica Chastain. (By the way, check out that movie "Hannah.")
I'm reading this really good Irish detective novel by Tana French called "In the Woods."
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 12:23am.
The Gargoyle is about this guy who gets damn near burned alive in a car accident.(It's very descriptive...bordering on nauseating) While he's in the hospital recovering, he meets a woman who tells him that they were lovers in a past life. It's gross at times, but also very romantic if you're into that kind of book. I cried at the end. Also,I bought it back in January and it hasn't left my end table. Every time I finish it I open it again:)
Good to see you!
ETA: If you're into human drama books, you should try Fall on Your Knees...CRAZY family drama.
***********************************************
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
Submitted by Hotmami on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 12:13am.
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Thu, 05/12/2011 - 10:58pm.
Totally rick-rolling your convo to say the I just finished reading "The Help" today. Read it in less than two days. Phenomenal.
The Gargoyle is still my favorite book evah.
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HOTMAMI!!! So good to hear from you! I was about ready to call it a night because no one was responding to my comments (insert loser comment here).
I loved "The Help". I heard it's already been made into a movie and is supposed to be released around August of this year.
I haven't heard of "The Gargoyle"(but it's not like I'm some literary know-it-all). Is it good? What's it about? If it involves either tons of human drama or blood and guts, count me in.
__________________________
Welcome to a world where the people teaching our youth are making 1/20th of what the whores tainting our youth are making. YAY!!!! - MK 4/9/11
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Thu, 05/12/2011 - 10:58pm.
Totally rick-rolling your convo to say the I just finished reading "The Help" today. Read it in less than two days. Phenomenal.
The Gargoyle is still my favorite book evah.
***********************************************
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
She's gone off the deep end of The Sanity Point, found herself a shovel and dug herself an even bigger hole. Gaga's delusions of grandeur make Madge seem modest and demure by comparison. In that respect she has certainly surpassed her icon.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Umm....Lady Fishstix, anyone?
snark is good.
Soon little monsters will be swimming like rats from a sinking ship.
Submitted by Bjork You on Thu, 05/12/2011 - 10:36pm.
MK, you're just making me like CaCa more.
Camille Paglia is a cunt, and I don't mean that in a snarky, dlisted way. She's a fucking hack, regurgitating misogynist and racist crap like she's some some cool girl stuck in an old fogey's academic tower. Poseur.
And ditto all that humans_off_earth_now wrote.
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BJORKIE!!!!!
*humps Bjorkie's leg even tho it may result in a wire hanger beating*
Damn Bjorkie, you've hit the most embarrasing "to do" on my reading list - I swear for the last 15 years I've been meaning to read through everything Camille Paglia has ever written because she produces so much fun, bitchy snarking. But I always end up being distracted by something new and shiny (like "The Help") and never get around to it. It sounds like you've read her - can you give me a quote which will piss me off enough to follow through on reading her? It it's insulting to women, that works. If it's insulting to Christians, even better. And if it's insulting to overweight, stressed out, guilt-ridden Catholic Irish women - DING DING DING, we have a winner!
Love ya!
_____________________
Welcome to a world where the people teaching our youth are making 1/20th of what the whores tainting our youth are making. YAY!!!! - MK 4/9/11