The Delivery Of Mimi's Twins Was Everything You Thought It Would Be
Now that Baby Couscous and Baby Marilyn are safely snuggled into their diamante and pink gold cribs (I wish), their father Nick Cannon tells the media all about their ridiculous journey from Mimi's Care Bear womb to her bronzer-covered arms. But first, above is the elegant piece of understated jewelry that Nick bought for Mimi for her first Mother's Day. The 4-carat diamond and pink sapphire necklace cost $12,000 and will replace a chola's green gold nameplate necklace as my favorite definition of real class. It's a little piece of Downtown Las Vegas on Mimi's neck! All it's missing is the scent of wet cigarettes and bourbon phlegm balls in plastic cups. Moving on...
Nick Cannon was on The Gayle King Show (via UsWeekly) yesterday and he set the record straight about the rumor that they played Mimi's song "We Belong Together" during the birth of their twin unicorlings. They didn't play "We Belong Together," but they did play the live version of Mimi's song "Fantasy." Nick has a perfectly reasonable explanation for why they went with the live version of the song:
"Now my wife wanted to make sure that when the babies came out, that they came out not only to a Mariah Carey song, but a live performance from Mariah Carey -- her Madison Square performance of 'Fantasy' -- so they came out to a round of applause."
That sounds like the most fabulously gay production since Liza Minnelli's wedding to David Gest. You know, I would say that the sound of Mimi's 10,000 octave nightingale yodel would send any baby crawling back up into the womb, but it almost didn't scare Moroccan and Monroe as much as the doctor dressed in a Hello Kitty costume and the dozens of lambs dyed in various shades of pink and blue prancing around the delivery room.
This little bit of information also helps to solve the question: who called Child Protective Services on Mimi's ass?! Nick told CNN yesterday they got a hospital visit from CPS after somebody said Mimi was drinking and drugging in her room. Nick thinks someone overheard a nurse telling Mimi to drink a little dark beer to move breastfeeding along and decided to turn nothing into a scandal for a fast dollar.
But I disagree with Nick's suspicions. If you played back the anonymous call to CPS, you'd definitely hear a pair of tiny voices breathing out the words "heeeeeeelp us." It's amazing how fast newborns will learn how to speak after you play a Mariah Carey song for them.
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Well, I am amazed, she finally gave birth, I hope that will make her happy because I don't think Nick does. Really, if that's his taste in jewelry I don't know what to think anymore. How about birthstone stackable rings Nick, or some diamond earrings, or a classy necklace... I wonder if Miami likes it.
Damn, Tommy Mattola really dodged a bullet there.
Is that venom or semen on the floor?
Are they actually going to continue with the charade that these babies were born vaginally?
As if Mimi would ever deign to stretch her Hello Kitty!
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GERONIMO!
The necklace could be the ad for the remake of Casablanca, because you just know it would feature some dumb blonde ho and be totally trashy.
PS -- Also, if some nurse did advise Mimi to drink beer, she should be fired.
Although I lean toward the scenario of Mimi swilling Cristal in a private Hello Kitty room, seeing unicorns and then asking to breastfeed.
I doubt Mimi would ever breastfeed though, she is just too vain. Although she would want to lose weight, which breastfeeding helps, so I'm torn.
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GERONIMO!
Why they suggest you drink beer, is if you are having problems with the volume of milk your producing, the yeast in the beer helps ramp up production.
you can also eat brewer's yeast in powder form and can add that to like protein shakes.
Morrocan Cannon is a fucking stupid name. It sounds like a specialty firework your white trasher neighbor is planning to shoot off on the Fourth of July: "Yeah, Imma gonna git somna those Roman candles, a few cherry bombs, and of course somma them Moroccan Cannons!"
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
I would like to make some comment about how you give a kid money to buy their mom something, and it is kind of ridiculous, but the mom likes it anyway. But Mariah seems to love ridiculous stuff, so I guess it doesn't matter.
Not gonna lie.
As much as she repulses me, the girl makes a nice life for herself.
Buff it to a spit shine!
Not gonna lie.
As much as she repulses me, the girl makes a nice life for herself.
Buff it to a spit shine!
TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY
TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY
TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY
TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
Submitted by the original be... on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 2:40pm.
All I got in the hospital was some aloe nursing pads. Guess I did it wrong.
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All I got after delivering my babies was a package of TUCKS Medicated Pads for my torn bits and a bag of free Pampers.
All I got in the hospital was some aloe nursing pads. Guess I did it wrong.
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Sarcasm is lost on the truly ignorant.
Hold on a sec- Gayle King really has her own show? This is something that really exists?
They thought she was on drugs because she named her baby after an adjective. Like, what are you having at the buffet? Oh, a little Moroccan, a little Mexican, a little Italian...
Submitted by PrezidentLeila on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 1:02pm.
I watched an interview with Nick and he did confirm they selected Moroccan since it sounds like both of their names put together and also because he proposed to Mariah in her Moroccan room.
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OMFG.
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"Can't you just be satisfied with if I'm wrong about god, I'll burn in hell?"
LMAO at this post.
especially
"Now my wife wanted to make sure that when the babies came out, that they came out not only to a Mariah Carey song, but a live performance from Mariah Carey -- her Madison Square performance of 'Fantasy' -- so they came out to a round of applause."
This is tooo good for words!!!! LOL
MK had me flat-lining @
"That sounds like the most fabulously gay production since Liza Minnelli's wedding to David Gest. "
They have such DRAMA! My God, those kids are minutes old and already they are going toe to toe with JJ and SPF for the "babies of celebrities tickity-tack awards"...SMDH I can't!
"Come on Gloria..."
-Hank Azaria "The Birdcage"
Please tell me that quote about what music was playing is made up. Please, please.
Submitted by CokeyBloke on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 12:39pm.
Alright, this is coming from the cyst-popping video addict, but I don't think I've ever seen BAD PORN! All porn is good porn.
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Haha! Well, you have OBVIOUSLY never seen.... THE LINK! (and that's a good thing - trust:)
♥ Threadkilla!
Pose Like a Chola:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUWN3wBUGr8
She should have had the decency to call one of the sprogs Murphy as a nod to the Irish side of her heritage. Spud makes a cute nickname too.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Anything for you BITCH!!!! <3
EEG - YOU FUCKING HOR!
I am no longer hungry for lunch. Jebus.
*pukes in recycle bin*
M.E., go to your FB inbox.
You are more than welcome. :)
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 1:03pm.
Jersey - yes, it takes more than the length of one song. Unless of course, she had Nick push play just when those babies were emerging.
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These poor babies are going to be tired of Nick and Mariah by the time they're in preschool.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 1:00pm.
LOL at crotchfruit! love that!
Ok, I'll stop.
The mental image I have is horrifying.
*goes to google*
My only question: Why is the e in Monroe fucking the n in Morroccan?!
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Caca: "Dear Lord, remind me that my gift is not self-worship, but is the worship of others."
Lord: "...Where'd I put that 'Smite' button?
-nomeadooha
Both! Enough questions!!! I am having bad flashbacks! ;)
I am close to tears! why o why God, these people don't have an ounce of good taste and yet have all this money!
Oh my barf.
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"Let's do it in Spanish" -Ricky Martin
Jersey - yes, it takes more than the length of one song. Unless of course, she had Nick push play just when those babies were emerging.
I watched an interview with Nick and he did confirm they selected Moroccan since it sounds like both of their names put together and also because he proposed to Mariah in her Moroccan room. He also said they plan on calling him Rock.
TG, at lease Rock is a little more normal.
EEG *shock face*
Nipples or areola?
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 12:19pm.
... Those poor doctors and nurses. Wouldn't a soft, slow song be more appropriate for entering the world?
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Especially since, well, wouldn't it have to be played on a loop to make sure it was playing when they were actually born? I've never given birth, but doesn't it take longer than the 4 min. 30 sec. that song runs?
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Submitted by saltydog88 on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 12:59pm.
I simultaneously find that gift cheap and overpriced. Like you'd expect him to spend more than only $12,000 on her first mother's day gift, that being said for $12,000 I'd expect a much nicer piece of jewelry
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Because you're normal. This is Mooriah we're talking about, she'll love this trash.
M.E., I was innocently cruising through youporn when I accidently clicked on a video that was for big boob fans. After that the stupid site kept recommending big boobs. I could not stop myself from clicking. They were all *real* and all gross.
Hamburger nipples is a term coined from one of me crotchfruit. We were on a beach in the Seychelles and a woman walked by with the biggest brownest nips ever. She leaned over and said "Mom, that ladies boobs looks like she has hamburgers on them". Poor child was NOT exaggerating.
the dozens of lambs!hahaha!
I simultaneously find that gift cheap and overpriced. Like you'd expect him to spend more than only $12,000 on her first mother's day gift, that being said for $12,000 I'd expect a much nicer piece of jewelry
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 12:19pm.
... Those poor doctors and nurses. Wouldn't a soft, slow song be more appropriate for entering the world?
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I think the shrieking part would be a little closer to reality than the $ciento silent birth thing.
re: Newsom - his comment was:
Botox for an 8 year old!? This is outrageous & unacceptable. http://bit.ly/j8VSB5
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"Can't you just be satisfied with if I'm wrong about god, I'll burn in hell?"
EEG - how to you come across bad porn? I mean, were you watching basement grade porn my non professionals?
Just curious. I've seen busted face porn, but never hamburger nipple porn.
An ugly, tacky necklace advertising the awkward, ridiculous names of her poor children. Exactly what I'd expect from Mariah.
I am afraid to ask, but I must know... wtf is this "hamburger nipple" shit?
<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>
I am not here to fight. I am here to make love.
Submitted by FilthyBitch on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 11:42am.
Do you have kids? Not only have I heard of this before, but my PEDIATRICIAN told me to give my son a nipple full of beer when he was a baby to settle his stomach. It worked. And the baby doesn't get drunk. So why would telling the mom to drink beer be dangerous?
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Yes, I have three kids - 17, 14 and 5. And I was never told to drink beer to help my milk come in, which is why I asked.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 12:34pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 12:07pm.
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 12:06pm.
I watched some bad porn earlier this week and am stiiillllllll FUCKING TRAUMATIZED.
Alright, this is coming from the cyst-popping video addict, but I don't think I've ever seen BAD PORN! All porn is good porn.
That is some ugly Claire's shit right there.
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
where did nick get $12,000 from? you know he tapped into mimi's account to pay that tacky bling...
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 12:07pm.
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 12:06pm.
I watched some bad porn earlier this week and am stiiillllllll FUCKING TRAUMATIZED.
I will let it go when the nightmares stop. ;)
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OMFG! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH!
*falls off chair*
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Well, I din't fall off my chair but that did make me guffaw;p Bad porn is the best. It sears itself into your brain and hounds you day and night and never lets you free until you see something worse. And that's what you get for clicking;p
♥ Threadkilla!
Pose Like a Chola:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUWN3wBUGr8
Submitted by ricki lake on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 11:54am
Best. Rant. EVER.
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"I’m good when I’m alone. I’m comfortable when I’m alone. I can sit and do lots of things all by myself. Sex included."
— Johnny Weir
It's abusive on an emotional level re: botox mom.
"as am I..."
That thing looks tacky and cheap. I've seen nicer looking shit at Target.