Mike Myers Is Going To Be A Dad
Mike Myers isn't already somebody's daddy (comment: no)?! How is this possible? I could've sworn that I've seen pictures of Mike playing around with his kids. But maybe I confused him with Rosie O'Donnell skipping around with her children. That must be it. It seems like Mike Myers was born to be that annoying dad who hogs up all of his kid's toys and ignores his child's begging to leave the toy store after being there for 3 hours because he's too busy playing with shit. Like Josh Baskin with a fupa. Well, Mike is fulfilling his life mission. Mike's rep tells Page Six that his wife of 7 months, the Kimbo Stewart-ish Kelly Tisdale, is full of fetus!
One of Page Six's source say that Kelly is in her second trimester and her spawn sack (the search for a "baby bump" replacement continues) is starting to grow. Shrek Jr. will be the first baby for both Mike and Kelly.
It's inevitable that a blind item will fall out of the sky over this news, so allow me to get it out of the way.
WHICH Canadian funny man set off a gaggle of gossipy gay giggles after excellent news spread that his latest stunt wife is pregnant. One of those gossipy gays is a nurse at a fertility clinic who thinks our funny man should name his baby "Playgirl" after the magazine he used to drop a donation into the turkey baster. Party time indeed.
And we'll still guess "John Travolta."
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Also, these goldigging whores.
I nominate Sperm Bank of America.
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GERONIMO!
I wonder if any of his SNL mates knew he was a flamer during his time on the show?
As I recall, those years were quite a sausage fest.
With all these "secret daddies" going around these days, I nominate "chump lump."
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GERONIMO!
Submitted by Tex-Bro on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 11:10am.
I nominate "Brat Sack' for the new baby bump or maybe "whore hump", I'm torn.
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Hahahaha! Love both of them!
Someone had an extra clause in her beard contract.
I like Mike and think he's funny. Just be out for fuck's sake.
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 11:44am.
Is that dress made out of potholders?
Is your avie the Talking Dog dog? I always say "LOL" but that vid literally makes me LOL. Very well done.
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80s flashback: Under the Milky Way
I like spawn sack. How about parasite pouch?
John Travolta is the answer to all past, present, and future Blind Items. Even if the answer is not John Travolta, it's still John Travolta.
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
Mike Meyers needs to stop making that scary Carrot Top face. STOP IT!
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Only a ginger can call another ginger "ginger." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLLYO8Hd_sE
She's quite pretty and a good pull for an alleged Ghey boy.
Of topic...
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 11:17am.
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 11:13am.
Did MK post anything about Tom Sizemore killing his gf? (allegedly)
What a story! You look at his track record with women and her bruised meth face before she disappeared--he totally did it.
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Gotta agree 100%. Sizemore's brain is so fried from years and years of the hard shit that I could see him going off and killing her on one of his benders no problem.
I my mind I've already convicted him and thrown the switch.
He's always been an aggressive whack job freak it wouldn't surprise me in the least if he cannibalized her to top it all off.
Beard baby.
Elder closet queen wanted a baby so he found some female willing to accommodate him.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Somebody fetch a hot cup of chamomile for this cranky old Queen!
I thought he was gay
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
This fakery is long past its expiration date.
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"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone
Something wrong with his face--guessing some cosmetic eye surgery that backfired.
Is that dress made out of potholders?
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Hand me my shank.
@ M.E.
All little baby animals make me squeel, and I will admit to spending a lot of time over at Icanhascheezburger. IRL I'm a cranky bitch most of the time (as you may have seen with my posts...haha), but little baby creatures are my soft spot.
double post...
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
making baby batter proves you're not gay...right? right?
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
i thought he was in the closet and all those blind items were about him? Have read it a lot of places..
Think he is vastly overrated, so many stories he is a prick. His face is fucking creepy.. looks white and rubbery.. JUST like the Halloween Michael Meyers face mask. He's nast.
Good for Mike. Can't bad mouth the guy. Have a feeling Robin couldn't babymake perhaps.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
And we'll still guess "John Travolta."
lofuckingl!!!
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"Can't you just be satisfied with if I'm wrong about god, I'll burn in hell?"
Omg srsly? Tom Sizemore so would. I hope he videotaped it. I love watching whores die.
I've always liked Mike Myers' sense of humor and would love another Austin Powers to go with my collection. He could be gay but wants to have a child and this Kelly girl said yes while his first wife said no. I was at first shocked to hear the gay rumors tho...
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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 11:19am.
Momus - from what I can find, she's still just "missing" since March 31.
He's cooperating with police, but refuses to talk to her family.
Odd.
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Why odd? He probably doesn't want to get involved in a bunch of blame-throwing tantrums that would lead to extortionistic lawsuits.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein.
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Submitted by Athina on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 11:20am.
M.E.----yes, I saw it. Sooooo adorable. Little tiny baby monkeys make me want to pick them up, wrap them in a blanket and pretend I'm a mama, like I used to do with my ugly-as-shit Cabbage Patch dolls.
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HAHAH!!! I want the baby leopard.
M.E.----yes, I saw it. Sooooo adorable. Little tiny baby monkeys make me want to pick them up, wrap them in a blanket and pretend I'm a mama, like I used to do with my ugly-as-shit Cabbage Patch dolls.
Momus - from what I can find, she's still just "missing" since March 31.
He's cooperating with police, but refuses to talk to her family.
Odd.
@M.E. and Snowy: Is she dead or just missing?
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein.
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Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 11:13am.
Did MK post anything about Tom Sizemore killing his gf? (allegedly)
What a story! You look at his track record with women and her bruised meth face before she disappeared--he totally did it.
...........
80s flashback: Under the Milky Way
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 10:57am.
Pffft. I see no one liked my cute as fuck exotic baby animals link.
*sulks off*
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You can sit next to me on the ignored Abandoned Couch.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein.
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snowy - I haven't seen anything about it.
I mentioned that yesterday.
Is there any more details? Has he been arrested?
*goes to TMZ*
Off Topic: Did MK post anything about Tom Sizemore killing his gf? (allegedly)
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
Bjork: yeah I was trying to be sarcastic! She looks like a miserable cow! LOL
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
I nominate "Brat Sack' for the new baby bump or maybe "whore hump", I'm torn.
TEXBRO
Klingon Madonna say what? - MK
Yep. Not sure why there was confusion anyway, since Mike Myers' Mia Farrow memaw dump of a contracted wife doesn't really look anything like The Girl With The Most Unfortunate And Unmistakable Mouth Shape In The Entire World.
Submitted by snowpiece "she looks happy to be alive...."
But sadly, she's not, on both counts.
Oh, and that dress must have looked so good ON THE HANGER.
But are they over the moon?
She looks Chloe Sevigny (not googling that spelling) mated with the whiney doctor from Greys Anatomy..Ellen something or other.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
So Ricki...that's a no they are not sisters then? Lol. Thxs for clearing that up....I think. *issues retraction on earlier posts*
"as am I..."
MM seems asexual.
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twerk those stumps!
Pffft. I see no one liked my cute as fuck exotic baby animals link.
*sulks off*
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Fri, 05/13/2011 - 10:51am.
Her expression says, "It's a recession, don't judge."
LOL! With a smidge of "If not now, when?"
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80s flashback: Under the Milky Way
Why does everyone think he's gay? I've never gotten that vibe.
But my gadaris broked.
Honestly...the article you linked is an article talking about Mike Myers' marriage to Kelly Tisdale with a bio of Jennifer Tisdale that was probably cut and pasted from Wikipedia at the end. With a picture of Jennifer Tisdale (and the best one she's ever probably taken, actually). Just google "Jennifer Tisdale" vs "Kelly Tisdale" and you can see they are not the same person. I know who Jennifer is because my niece loves High School Musical and Ashley Tisdale, she is an awful hanger-on celebusister like Haylie Duff, older and uglier and even more useless than the famous sister. Since she is a "famous" person that goes by Jennifer Tisdale, there's no reason all of the press regarding the marrage and baby would refer to her by Kelly. Her name is Jennifer.
no wonder she looks miserable. well at least she didn't have to have real sex with him...
Her expression says, "It's a recession, don't judge."
Just fucking come out and say you're gay already...quit playing these stupid games! People would totally like you more if you did...which is part of the reason I hate John Travolta and Tom Cruise now too...they won't come out already when the world KNOWS.
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Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
Did she make that dress from cushions rejected by Abanoned Couch?
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein.
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