Who The Hell Wasn't At Oprah's Farewell Spectacular Last Night?
Jesus' second début party was supposed to go down last night, but he rescheduled for a later date (not May 21st), because all of his guests opted to attend the most important event in the history of humanity instead. Oprah's Farewell Spectacular took place at Chicago's United Center last night and every single celebrity in the world lined up to take turns licking on her ass. The salad tossing record has been broken.
Even Madonna, who shit talked Oprah in Truth or Dare, was there. Will.i.am, Jackie Evancho, Usher, Beyonce, Aretha Franklin, Josh Groban, Stevie Wonder and Jamie Foxx all performed. Besides the names I've already dropped, the guest list included:
Will & Jada Pinkett Smith
Maria Shriver
Tom Hanks
Tommy Girl & Stepford Katie
Halle Berry
Queen Latifah
Dr. Phil & Dr. Oz
Simon Cowell
Jerry Seinfeld
Diane Sawyer
Michael Jordan
Dakota Fanning
Maya Angelou
Gayle King
Rosie O'Donnell
The Daily Mail says Diane Sawyer told Oprah that her show is like a growing life tree. After Diane Sawyer said that, Angel Katharine Hepburn made a mental note to tell Barbara Walters that she wants to change the answer to the "What kind of tree are you?" question from Oak Tree to a MIGHTY OPRAH TREE!
And for the grand finale of Oprah's 2-part Farewell Spectacular......
Canons shot out 20,000 of Oprah's cloned ovaries into the audience. YOU GET AN OPRAH! YOU GET AN OPRAH! AND YOU GET AN OPRAH! EVERYBODY GETS AN OPRAH!
This mess airs on May 23rd and May 24th.
The details of Oprah's final show on May 25th haven't been revealed. Oh, how I hope the final shot is Oprah shooting up in bed and saying to herself, "It was all a dream." Then she'll lay back down and throw her arm over a mysterious bed mate. Just as the camera zooms in, Gayle King will turn around and wink. The end!
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I swear she's done more harm to people than good. She's no better than a televangelist. Giving away money that you've taken from others is not charity--it's wealth redistribution. Ask Bernie Madoff.
Oprah is not an expert about anything other than gaining grotesque amounts of weight. She was in the right place at the right time. They wanted a black girl who sounded white and was not too pretty and lucky her there she was. She is always telling people how to run their lives and what to believe and she knows nothing. Look at this sickening star f*ck she has going on. She should know that the American people are sick to death of seeing these as*holes. But is wants to be one of them. That's her whole shtick. She want to be a star. And she is . She is a "very big" star. This is a woman who cannot leave the house without spending an hour in hair and makeup and wearing a hair hat. She is a fat mess.
Applehead, I know that it was embellished. The point is it remains one of the best books ever written about addiction.
That and the fact that fatsos book club is what propelled it to such attention gave the cunt NO reason to tear the mans life apart on national television.**
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THIS
He wrote this amazing book and from what I understand, it wasn't even his idea to label it non-fiction, it was the pubishers
then fat racist cunt picks it for her book club, everyone reads it, loves it and she invites him on the show with the pretense of discussing the book and then completely blindsides him!
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LOL @ the ending for the last show!!!!!!
I think she's trying to track down her very first guest or she'll be giving homes away.
I can't hate on Gaga. She steals all her ideas but she does have a great voice. She can really sing unlike all that other forgettable sh*t out there namely: Beyonce, Jennifer L., etc.
Hahaha Gags wasn't invited!
I like Beyonce's dress in the main pic. Unusually understated for the uptown tranny's pinup girl.
Her hair looks like it hasn't seen a bottle of conditioner since the nineties.
Love the body language with Tom Cruise and Oprah. "Get away from me you freak. I hid my couch this time, but you aint jumping on my ass, you big nosed midget ass." If she leant back any further......lol..and why does he look like he is just about to blow his load? Oh he is on a famous show send off and he thinks he is famous. Didnt he see or hear the ridicule he got for what he did on that show???Seriously?
All that was missing is a bloody-faced Hugh Jackman rapelling down the set walls and screaming at O. to replace the missing eye in his gaping socket.
Aw, man! Too bad i'm going to miss this! This is actually one of the few times that I miss not having tv. I was never a fan of Oprah (she appealed too much to middle aged women and housewives) but this is like...like...the end of an era! Life will be really strange without seeing the Oprah show on any given day of the week...or All My Children or One Life to Live! What an awkward year next year will be. : /
"I make myself sick, Get on my own nerves. Immature, insecure,Grown up nerd."
-Fat lip (The Pharcyde)
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 3:16pm.
Katie Holmes....Gah!! This bitch takes all the current fashions and fucks them up big time. If any celebrity needs a stylist, it's this weirdo
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Suri is her stylist!
Madonna looks really amazing here. Good for her. Can't wait for some new music/performances from her.
Kelly Taylor: Well we all have our crosses to bear.
Brenda Walsh: Or our legs to uncross.
-----episode 3.14 "Wild Horses," Beverly Hills 90210
Maria Shriver looks fucking thrilled to be there.
And she didn't give an invite to TYRA? If not, Tyra must be bawling hysterically somewhere, thinking all those hours of brown nosing were for naught.
No Ty Ty? She always her has head up Oprah's ass. Katiebot has a pair of the ugliest legs in Hollywood.
I'm nodding like a bobble-head at all these comments, esp. Rainbow person who said all this power is so bad for humans.
God the ego on Oprah must hit the moon. And the self-satisfied smugness of all the "stars" kissing her ass is repulsive.
I assume there was an audience for all this? Shame on them - like peasants cheering on the Queen who despises them.
Katie's posture - damn, she looks hideous. She can change that posture, she wasn't born with legs that stood like that.
I've been saying for years that Beyonce is desperate to be white. And she loves herself in a leotard - she wears that look as much as she can.
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Dark-sided!
Reason #229 why i do not regret giving up TV six years ago. I used to watch her occasionally but now I would rather eat glass than sit through five minutes of her raging ego (let alone enduring this nauseating list of celebutards who feed off her "greatness"). Blechhhh!
I used to kind of respect Oprah but bitch has gone batshit CRAZY!!! I have a longtime subscription to her magazine (stop smirking -- it used to have good articles, nice recipes and fashions, etc.) And her magazine covers are becoming increasingly bizarre and deity-like. Though Oprah is "straight", the content is 95% lesbionic. (Chaz Bono! Suze Orman! Gayle! Queen Latifah! Dr. Phil!) She can't stop talking about her fucking show(GET OVER IT! No one watches anymore except the bored, simpleminded and unemployed!) And the whole thing has gotten fucking boring, visually unappealing, and for all its "feel-good" messages, depressing and anxiety-inducing. And in between that, there's a whole lot of expensive unnecessary shit they tell you to buy. Fuck you OPES. Hope her new network goes down the shitter.
Katie Holmes....Gah!! This bitch takes all the current fashions and fucks them up big time. If any celebrity needs a stylist, it's this weirdo.
Submitted by yepyepyep on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:48am.
I absolutely hate Oprah, and everything she stands for
ps. the rumor is that she starting her own religion.
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Oprahtologists?
I know she started her own bank to teach Americans how to manage their money better.
She has a lot of nerve, that one. She of the "few of my favourite thing showdown" Proclaiming to her millions of oprahlettes, Buy a $500 cashmere sweater because Oprah says its so soft!
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"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
— William Goldman
I can haz enuf of Orpa for evah?
Lucky Cheng's has slipped.
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GERONIMO!
I will admit that I am not at my welter weight at the second, which I like to keep at the point that people tell me to "put some weight on," but Orpah needs to either slice a few off or dress for her weight.
I am so thrilled that Oprah will be off the air, and hopefully her channel keeps tanking to the point it goes away too.
Can't stand the woman.
Katie Holmes....WHAT THE FUCK???
Halle looks bored and seperated from the other ego trips. Maybe wondering why she had to stoop so low to even show up and should have stayed home motorcycle humping her boyfriend instead.
WHY is Katie with Halle and Queen Latifah??? She doesn't belong with them or even on the stage. Hmmm... Oscar winner (and successful) on one side and Oscar nominated, Grammy winner(and successful) on the other side. What's in the middle ... NOTHING!!! What's funny is, although she married Tom Cruise, she is (imo) the least successful of the Dawson's crew. Wonder is she enjoys being a lap dog/stepford wife to Tom and now Surie.
Who the fuck cares!!! So long! Adios!
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TheBreakdown on Sat, 04/09/2011 - 2:28pm.
Why even go to college these days?
Just suck cock on cam, get pissed on for YouTube, learn Trickonics as your main language, and wear a slut dress every day....
If I never heard the word "Opr**" again, I'd be very happy. I can't even type it. She is so full of herself it's amazing that she can even function.
Where are your pants, Beyonce?
THIS is the Howard Stern send off on steroids.With (quite possibly) the same result.Howard disappeared into electronic irrelevance.Oprah appears headed down the same highway.
Applehead, I know that it was embellished. The point is it remains one of the best books ever written about addiction.
That and the fact that fatsos book club is what propelled it to such attention gave the cunt NO reason to tear the mans life apart on national television.
Submitted by RainbowBrite on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 12:04pm.
May 25th can't come soon enough. No wonder Oprah is up her own ass. This kind of power just isn't healthy for anyone. Rich people celebrating other rich people and people still eat this shit up? I watched the James Frey mess the other day and damn I should get an award for watching two whole hours of Oprah. Her arrogance is off the charts. I may be poor and going through some really tough times right now, but at least I know what is real.
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Wasn't that mess hilarious? I loved how stupid Frey looked while the Big O blathered about herself. He looked like he was compiling his shopping list. I was never a fan of his and even less so now. He has as much life as my dirty dish rag. Is he on some sort of medication? I have seen people on Lithium with more life than him.
a 1000 oprahs don't add up to 1 donahue.
TEAM loved A Million Little Pieces
Oprah has contributed NOTHING to our society. She is a greedy, no-it-all, fraud, star f*cker. She is also a complete mess. The Donald Trump of daytime TV.
In other news, 1 billion bored American housewives will simultaneously cease to function on May 23, now that their Lord and Messiah Oprah is no longer giving them detailed instructions on how to live their lives.
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
I cant even with Katiebot I got a fashion line holmes
I wouldnt even wear those shorts to walk my dog, and I am broke, Katie could had bough a forever 21 dress and looked more appropriate
Poor people are doing it better :)
and I wont make fun of her legs, I knew a girl in high school that bent her knees backwards, and I kinda bend my fingers back to touch my wrist
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Comment about the little girl that sings - was at a friend's house and watched whatever Talent show she was on...absolutely amazing voice! I literally got teary-eyed listening to her, just so beautiful.
As for Oprah - do. not. care.
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"Peachy with a side of keen, that would be me"
Seriously, does Katie Holmes always stand pigeon toed? So unflattering.
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Hopes can always go up, tears can only come down.
May 25th can't come soon enough. No wonder Oprah is up her own ass. This kind of power just isn't healthy for anyone. Rich people celebrating other rich people and people still eat this shit up? I watched the James Frey mess the other day and damn I should get an award for watching two whole hours of Oprah. Her arrogance is off the charts. I may be poor and going through some really tough times right now, but at least I know what is real.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:53am.
Sounds like a convention for black people with massive egos with a few white lunatics sprinkled in.
shut your whorey mouth i was there it was spppectaular cause orca iz antichrist worship me minions
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
can't she fucking dissapear already????
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What a friend I have in jesus, I can say that
honestly. He's not like all my other friends who really don't care about me.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 11:37am.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:51am.
Why do I want to drop kick Jamie Foxx right in the fucking face everytime I see him?
I too suffer from this very condition. And by suffer I mean having to even acknowledge his existence in the first place.
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You hold Will while I boot him and I'll hold Jamie down for you..deal? LOL
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 11:00am.
I tuned in the other day to the James Frey episode. Haven't watched this cunt since she fucked him over so badly five years ago.
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When O asked James' brother, whom was in the audience, something about James' addiction and the brother replied "I didn't know it was that bad" or something along those lines, even I knew something was amiss...a brother would probably know about an addiction if it had been as bad as James described. Doesn't make James a bad guy or anything, but O was realled in with her own stupidity/hype
MK you are a riot my friend. cloned ovaries hehehe
Now Orca can finally put her hooves up, relax, send herself into carb oblivion and watch OWN crash and burn. I heard just the other day that it is not getting the ratings she thought it would. Hey guess what Orc? We have had enough.
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"I could have been living in a swinging condo instead of with...I better not say anything till I've had my coffee...a slut and a moron! I'm sorry, it must be decaf."
The incomparable Dorothy Zbornak
Does Katie Holmes have Cerebral Palsy? Her legs are bending like Gumby! Somebody fetch Suri, these folks are the same age as her playmates!
I know she's a crazy bitch, but I always think Halle Berry is stunning. Beyonce looks like a hag next to her, IMO.
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Douchechill!
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 05/18/2011 - 10:51am.
Why do I want to drop kick Jamie Foxx right in the fucking face everytime I see him?
I too suffer from this very condition. And by suffer I mean having to even acknowledge his existence in the first place.
Her couch ruined Tom Cruise's career - I'm surprised he showed up again.
EEG, I'm planning to watch it because I want to try to see how he really feels about her. I was so fucking mad when I saw the way she treated him. He's a better person than me if he's able to forgive her.
Oprah looks like shit. All that money and she still looks as rough as a bag of spanners.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin