Law & Order: SVU Will Be Meloni-Less Next Season
Okay, I know this picture of Christopher Meloni isn't from Law & Order: SVU (I think), but he's got no top on and he's scissoring his nipple with his fingers so it's a classic and works for every story.
TVLine brings the news that will make hundreds of thousands of genitals frown. They are hearing that negotiations between Christopher Meloni and the producers of Law & Order: SVU went belly up and he won't be back in the fall for the show's 13th season. Detective Stabler is no moooooooore!
Dick Wolf is apparently looking to bring on a big name to replace Christopher Meloni. Mariska Hargitay will be back next season, but her role will be dimmed a bit due to her wanting to spend more time with her kid and husband. It's rumored that the producers are thinking of bringing Jennifer Love Hewitt in mid-season to eventually replace Mariska for season 14.
So to recap, next season's Law & Order SVU will have zero Meloni nipples, 30% less Hargitay and possibly a big serving of JLove. Basically, SVU now stands for Sad Vagine Uhs. Unless the producers replace Christopher Meloni with a giant penis puppet controlled by a permanently shirtless Tom Selleck, my mom is soooo not watching that shit next season.
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They need to just cancel the show before it gets bad. How can you replace the two leads? It's impossible! End it this year. I'm glad I'm only on season 5.
He could just wreck my vagina! What a man!!
We'll always have season 2 of Oz...
NO-O-O-O-O-O!
They're gonna L&O "Criminal Intent" this show! How well did those "big names" work on that show? UH, they didn't - Goren & Eames are back for the final season of CI.
SVU without Benson & Stabler won't work. But OMGoodness, I do love me some Ice-T!! And Richard Belzer's hilarious!
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"I wrote the fuckin' book on finesse!" Bobby Mercer, Four Brothers.
He's taking time off to spend more time with the refridgerator from wet hot american summer
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C. Melon was NEVER hotter than in "Oz". Some sweet psycho meat!
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YOU AIN'T GOT NO MONEY!!!! MOVE THE FUCK ON!
~But.Seriously.Folks
new episodes of criminal intent come on usa. they are good!
in L&O: LA the DA went back to Det, not the same as going from FBI but close.
They cancelled regular L&O so fast after casting Jeremy Sisto and Anthony Anderson, maybe they need another chance
yeah i used to have a weak spot for christopher meloni.
in a land not so far away, i would have dropped to my knees if i saw that picture.
I looooved me some L&O back in the day, When Lenny Briscoe was still alive, I can't believe people still watch this shit and all the spin offs, BOOOORING!!!!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
Sad Vagine Uhs LMAOOOOOO!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
Old news.
Hell, yes, more Finn and Munch!
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Sit on my face and tell me that you love me...
Submitted by MyFingersHurt: "...Vincent D'Onofrio is so hot to me in that show. (I don't really understand it, especially because I swear he gets more & more bloated in every single episode. But at the beginning... *sigh*)"
I know, me too. In the beginning, I would DVR that shit and looked forward to it all week long and be sad when it was over. Maybe it was his braininess and willingness to sniff anything (a corpse's open mouf, a finger dipped in unidentified crime scene liquid...)
Submitted by Maggie69 on Tue, 05/24/2011 - 8:59pm.
Actually, would prefer if they didn't bring in another woman, but rather more Fin and Munch.
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Bingo! I fucking love Ice-T on this show. Not because he's a brilliant actor, but because he's NOT! But somehow it works, and his one liners are gold!
Such as...
"No matter what you say, Captain, you're not black and you're NOT from the hood."
"You have the right to an attorney and if you throw up in my car, I'll kill ya."
*If* they're going to replace Mariska, perhaps they could bring in Marcia Gay Harden? I love her FBI character, Star. But I suppose a cop would probably never go from FBI back to a local precinct, even if it's a special dept like SVU... Or *would* they?
Why do I care about this? I haven't watched new eps in probably 3 years.
dream team - richard greico & nancy grace
HEll YEA
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Ooh, yeah! Dean Winters would be a good choice! I recently watched the first season of "SVU" (shockingly, I had never seen it, even though I'd seen the other seasons 20 thousand times) - and it *was* weird how they wrote him off... I suppose it made sense because most people couldn't handle that line of work, but... I could see him coming back!
As for J.Love.Hew - nooooo, thanks. She would be awful on this show. (Not that I even watch anymore, so whatever.)
"Criminal Intent" was by far my favorite "L&O" franchise. I miss that one. Vincent D'Onofrio is so hot to me in that show. (I don't really understand it, especially because I swear he gets more & more bloated in every single episode. But at the beginning... *sigh*)
The new piece on L&O:LA reminds me of Elliott Stabler. The one who's after the Mexican drug lord. Same type of character. I watch the LA version for the superb Alfred Molina and Rachel Ticotin.
NO ONE is as good as Goren and Eames, though. Criminal Intent was my absolute favorite.
Hell, I'd be a better replace than JLH. Agree they could bring back Dean Winter. I never understood why they wrote his character off to begin with. If HLOTS Melissa Leo is not too big a movie star now I'd like to see her back in a squad room with old Munch.
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Waiting to be Charlie Watts first
I read an interview when this whole talk of him leaving started and he indicated he's kind of over it anyway, so I doubt this is an ego thing. He probably needed big money to keep him interested.
There's no point in going on with the show once they leave. If the JLH thing is true I will vomit with rage.
Does anyone remember Chris Meloni as the awkward and geeky hotel desk clerk in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? Or that disgusting hick in the first Harold & Kumar? Quite surprising.
I would be shocked if he were straight.
He always looks like he's about to star in some Valley 70's porn flick.
Good morning to Dlisters!
Have a great day.
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GERONIMO!
Mr. Meloni is also into men big time.
Mrs. PC!
You really want that parrot to sit on your face?
I usually have great respect for your impeccable taste...:)
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GERONIMO!
Please confirm that there IS a God by guaranteeing that Chris WILL sit on our face!!!!
So...what will his next role be?
Please tell me he'll be a stay-at-home dad, or be "writing a book," etc.
These crime shows are winding down; he's typecast, wtf is he thinking.
I'd say don't do a reality show, but I seriously don't think anyone would be interested.
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GERONIMO!
Submitted by BabyJane on Tue, 05/24/2011 - 10:52pm.
If JLH joins the cast not even Dean Winters could save SVU. Otherwise he would be a perfect replacement. Luvs me some Mayhem
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He was in the first season of SVU, actually. Maybe his character could come back.
This is just a retread of the CSI Melania Kalakuntis shit.
She thought the franchise couldn't go on without her, meanwhile Sela Ward is doing just fine.
I think the agents to these borderline nobodies really need to have a pic of David Caruso to shove in their faces whenever they get too frisky.
Seriously, does that balding Bruce Willis-wannabe think he has any sort of future beyond SVU?
Even Bruce Willis has difficulty getting a job at his age.
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GERONIMO!
I always get Meloni, Elias Koteas (Skinhead from "Some Kind of Wonderful") and Bill Paxton circa "Weird Science" mixed up in a crazy dude salad.
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Only a ginger can call another ginger "ginger." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLLYO8Hd_sE
Erm...is Dick Wolf trying to kill the L&O franchise? Why?
God, I miss Oz. What a good show.
he looks very Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver.
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"The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions..There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices. And the pity of it is that these things cannot be confined to - the Twilight Zone."
Have never watched this show, but I'm sure this dude did just fine in it.
"Some men rob you with a six-gun -- others with a fountain pen." -- Woodie Guthrie
oh if meloni had only stayed around this weight and size he'd be hot but no... he had to over do it. On the season finale i thought he had gained some weight but like my rm said Nope thats non but muscle
What a turn off....
Id still bend him over and have a go at it... :)
*tell em get in line and kiss your ass MUAH!*
Nooooooooooooo, this can't be true! Only Meloni is allowed to examine my case. I love the dynamic between him and Hargitay. That rumor about Miss Bedazzled Veejay is just plain evilness.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
If JLH joins the cast not even Dean Winters could save SVU. Otherwise he would be a perfect replacement. Luvs me some Mayhem
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
I'm with MK's mom: No Chris Meloni, no me watching this show.
I hate these staged pics.
It reminds me of the one in my parent's wedding album where the best man is wiping fake sweat off my father's brow.
Although when the photog saw CM's brow, I'm sure he was like, "Let's hit the showers!"
Time is money.
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GERONIMO!
Well this'll be cancelled by February with him gone and Mariska hardly on. I think J Love is a sweetheart but she will TANK this show fast. She couldn't play an SVU detective if her life depended on it.
Seriously, where is the rest of the pic? The waist down???? I want the "JUMP" dammit!!!!!!!
Okay .. What is Carla Gugino doing now? She full time on Californication or is that done? Is Jennifer Jason Leigh too off the wall to replace Mariska? Ooooh how about Angela Bassett???
@LunaChick .. Luvs me some mayhem! LOL!
why wasn't i told that today was audition-ghostie-guest-bloggers at dlisted?
o that's right. nobody ever tells me nuthin :(
i luv u foreva michael k for the leap years of happy stimulating reading u delivered for free. you're better than netflix and farmville combined.
i seriously think you're the oscar wilde/flannery o'connor/rosie o'donnell of our times and that the 2075 version of gwyneth paltrow or madonna-in-her-autodidactic-lecturey phase will be quoting you to prove her pretension ain't just that.
i say keep looking for some other contributors. /jedi mind trick/ these are not the ghost-bloggers you are looking for. /jedi mind trick/ then again, nobody takes my advice either :(
besides, dude, they are talking about your MOM!! o.O
dub1
re: leakage:
Yes. Yes, it has, hence all the refs. to Oz and showers: easily google-imaged with christopher meloni/shower/oz.
May I say, neat, sweet and cut. Just like its owner!
Submitted by ladykat on Tue, 05/24/2011 - 8:35pm.
Has his peen been leaked onto the internet anywhere? I'm too ashamed to look for myself...
Good. He's creeped me out ever since I saw pics of them filming, he had his suit jacket off, and his dress shirt had NO SLEEVES!
Way to flaunt your guns, Grandpa.
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GERONIMO!
Just as long as he dedicates his time to showing off his smoking hot bod, I'm ok with that.
Alright, I'll give it a chance. L&O generally does a good job with replacing actors...I have yet to see one that's a real miss, and I'm an avowed L&O junkie. I have faith in Dick Wolf!
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
Oh well, looks like I won't be watching anymore. *sigh*
ETA: Wil In Minneapolis, if they bring Dean Winters back, I can forgive them. Maybe.
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"...We don't exist for the beautiful people of the world...We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"
Okay ..okay ... One more thought on this! Bring Dean Winters back! He was wonderful as Cassidy. But I could stand more Belz and Ice T .. They are pretty good together. Hum.. Now to figure out who can replace Mariska - not that she is remotely replaceable! - but JLove is TOTALLY gonna keep me from watching ever again, so that is a big casting NO!
Oh yeah, looking at his picture, I just want to drop to my knees and take all the pain away. LOL