Chyna’s Long-Awaited Return To Porn Is Happening

With the demand for penis clit videos on the rise, Chyna knows that now is the time for her to give the public what they want and she is returning to the world of porn! Chyna’s debut sex tape was like the Planet Earth of sex tapes, because it showed us how the elusive (don’t click on that) peirced clitordick behaves in the wild. And Chyna’s going to give us more of that.

Steve Hirsch of Vivid Entertainment tells TMZ that Chyna came to him a while ago and let him know that she’s ready to give her a cooch another whirl on the porn machine. Chyna had one request. Since she’s a whole lotta woman, she needs a whole lotta man to handle her. So Chyna asked Steve to pair her up with the biggest male porn stars in the business. Steve gave her Evan and Lee Stone, and the three of them just shot a movie called Backdoor Into Chyna.

I’m extremely impressed that a dude can give Chyna fellatio and cunnilingus at the same time. Also, I’d take Chyna over Khloe Kardashian any day of the week, but nothing good can come out of something called Backdoor Into Chyna. That’s like the activated charcoal of titles. My parts are dry heaving at the title alone. Actually, dry heaving genitals sound like a talent that could get me 3rd place on Greece’s Got Talent. Be right back.