Friday, May 27th 2011
An Open Letter To Selena Gomez
Dear Selena Gomez,
When Chris Hansen asked you to have a seat over there, he didn't mean on Justin Bieber's 17-year-old crotch.
Sincerely yours,
Michael
P.S. - Thanks to you, everybody who looks at these pictures is going to jail now. Thank you. You're single-handedly responsible for overcrowded prisons. You, sucia pedo puta, you. Good going.
P.P.S. - When you're singing Baby Bieber a goodnight lullaby in his bassinet tonight, please let him know through song that the organizers of the National Weight Lifting Competition are impressed that his parakeet arms were able to lift your NOT RIGHT ass in the water. They'd like him to compete in their toddler division this year.
P.P.P.S - A covered playpen: get one next time.
Maybe he tapes his dick down with Duct tape? They probably both still have contracts with Disney for Christ's sake, severing one of those would be like throwing money in a fiery garbage can
His swim trunks remind me of old man's boxers. Thin white poly/cotton and too long. Plus they are YOO-GLAH.
When are his gonads gonna kick the hell in? Does he even have underarm hair yet? Nice to see he's Ⓤ PAREVE, at least.
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I just remembered--I don't work here!!
When I was that age and in a relationship I was all over the guy like heat rash. And him, me. They're not 12 years old, for Pete's sake.
He's a kinda goofy looking kid (and yeah, somewhat annoying) and she's very pretty.
*shrug* I don't get the big reaction. Who cares?
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AAAAAHHHH, kiddie porn! *exits page*
"I make myself sick, Get on my own nerves. Immature, insecure,Grown up nerd."
-Fat lip (The Pharcyde)
Selena, go away! Trying to stay relevant like Hilary Duff is doing doesn't look good on you.
I think they're kind of cute and I hate myself for thinking that, by the way. When I hear him talk or sing I want to stab him with a rusty screwdriver, but in pics, he's not that bad.
They look like they like each other, she's pretty and at least from what I remember from when I was that age, they just look like they're doing it, the way they're touching each other. I bet he's hung like a horse - it's always the little guys that you think have needle dicks that end up being monsters. It's too bad he's stuck in that 5'5", 125 lb. body.
Lol, she is ruining him for all other women because she is the hottest he'll ever have, and he is ruining her for all other men because he is the most famous she'll ever have.
Ah, young love!
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GERONIMO!
Dear Micheal K's suggestion box,
Please add an R Kelly tag on all Selena/Justin posts.
Sincerely,
The Closet
Ick - he has no secondary sexual characteristics.
These pix are the collaboration of lawyers, managers, press agents, stylists, photographers, and those in the media who broadcast these pix. It's funny, because it's 2011 and so little has changed. But also sad.
FAKE! She is being paid to "man" him up. Not working. It's just gross.
I'd call her a beard but with him it's more like peach fuzz.
Fake.
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'Those of you lucky enough to have your lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you've lost. They belong to me now'-BK
If he's supposed to be a hearthrob to preteens girls, you'd think he'd spend a little time at the gym so he doesn't have a body that resembles that of preteen girls.
WTF is up with those tattoos? We already know you're a bottom.
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 2:54pm.
@agirl and Litle Rascal -
This one right here is my fave. Soooooooooooo dreamy :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5hsXZPbb4g&playnext=1&list=PL35C2D307622...
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That's BEAUTIFUL - oh that voice!
Look/hear how exquisite he is in this one: For Emily Whenever I May Find Her (this clip is so old it's in black and white!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Li0-PXsrRHs
He is so sexy! (Paul who? lol)
(sorry to hear your first time was not so good - mine was "meh" but not awful)
So I guess this means they're 'doing it"?
It's a battle of the pretty's. I actually think Beiber is prettier than Selena! Don't go out with a guy prettier than you are, just saying
Submitted by agirl on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 2:56pm.
@Johnnysgirl - LUCKY YOU! I'd still give Artie some, if I had the chance. (He is going to be 70 this year!)
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Not really, it was pretty horrible! (see my on-topic post below re: Biebs)
But yeah, he was cute :D
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"House arrest sounds like a dream!" - hermit crabs
@littel rascal - fuck your fucking ex - go to iTunes and download all'a Artie's and S&G's songs right now!
@Johnnysgirl - LUCKY YOU! *swoon* I'd still give Artie some, if I had the chance. (and he is going to be 70 this year!)
Who knew there were AG fangirls here on Dlisted? I think he needs to be hot slut. Maybe for his birfday in November?
@agirl and Litle Rascal -
This one right here is my fave. Soooooooooooo dreamy :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5hsXZPbb4g&playnext=1&list=PL35C2D307622...
Funny you should talking about old Art - the young man who took my virginity looked exactly like him, minus the afro.
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"House arrest sounds like a dream!" - hermit crabs
Holy shit they have the exact same build!
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
Fancy Malone~04/27/2011
"MIZ" Holmes?? I thought that "miz" was reserved for middle aged lesbians, not cyborgs married to middle aged homosexual dwarves.
Submitted by agirl on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 2:11pm.
Perfection! Gave me goosebumps. I used to have every single record of Art Garfunkel and Paul Simon, but my ex-husband took them. Grrrr....
@ little rascal - this one's for you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-PNun-Pfb4
Do you have Netflix? They have old episodes of Saturday Night Live streaming. Watch the second ever episode (Paul Simon is the host and AG is a guest) - he sings "I Only Have Eyes For You". FUCKING GORGEOUS.
Artie walking around London (Also "I Only Have Eyes For You") http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yrl3T8MaX8E
*sigh* He wouldn't have to ask me twice. I'm jus' sayin'.
I don't want to think about these two having sex because it makes me think of the first time I had sex (I was 17) and it was fucking HORRIFIC.That is the part that bugs me about these pics. This is the type of relaxed, sexy PDA that experienced adults engage in, not teenagers whose sex - if they really are having any and I doubt it - is probably dry, awkward and painful.
It's not hot. My skin is crawling.
I'm glad I'm not young anymore! *cue the Maurice Chevalier*
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"House arrest sounds like a dream!" - hermit crabs
this is faker than the 'manly' voice i always put on when i answer the phone, and i'm 23.
Submitted by agirl on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 1:37pm.
@Cowjam how did you know it was his room? Rumor? Was there a plaque on the bed saying "Artie slept here"? His signature on the wall? An aging package of condoms with his fingerprints on it? lol
LOVE HIM!!!
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I adore Art Garfunkel too! I saw him at his last concert ever together with Paul Simon, it was in 1983 in Tel Aviv, and when Art was singing "Bridge over troubled water", I cried.
@cowjam - Very cool. You are just a bit closer to AG than I am, then, though I grew up in Queens. I am just an ordinary stalker, I mean fan, of his!
Submitted by LisaL on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 1:16pm.
Bleh... I just can't imagine this boy having anything but a baby dick. Not that I want to imagine it but DAMNIT, now that's all I can think about. *cry*
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Shame on you LisaL, now i'm wondering if Justin gets Selena to say Baby, Baby, Baby, Ohhh!
Submitted by agirl on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 1:37pm.
The Dean of Housing told me. At the time they were keen to integrate women into the previously all-male dorms, so it was a selling point.
My next-door neighbor and BFF was Joe Keenan, the executive producer of "Frasier" and one of the finest men to ever live on this planet.
@Cowjam how did you know it was his room? Rumor? Was there a plaque on the bed saying "Artie slept here"? His signature on the wall? An aging package of condoms with his fingerprints on it? lol
LOVE HIM!!!
LOL
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
@Jack - HI-DEF please! and no photoshop!
Submitted by agirl on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 1:28pm.
I had his room in 910 Hartley Hall. I'm a(n old) girl. SEAS.
agirl - taking them right now!!! lol
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
@cowjam, you went to Columbia? Are you an AEPi brother? Hotttttttttttttttttt.
Submitted by agirl on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 12:52pm.
Your comment just reminded me that I lived in Art Garfunkel's old dorm room. I kept it for 3 years. Haven't thought about that in ages.
@Jack - well you're kinda hot so... close enough! I will send them to you ASAP.
I expect the same in return, of course. That's how we do in the Ivy League schools dontcha know.
Bleh... I just can't imagine this boy having anything but a baby dick. Not that I want to imagine it but DAMNIT, now that's all I can think about. *cry*
agirl - little rascal is close... The University of Experience and Hard Work.
on topic: public display of affection between lesbians is HOT!
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
Submitted by agirl on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 12:52pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 12:43pm.
Submitted by agirl on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 12:11pm.
TEAM I WENT TO AN IVY LEAGUE SCHOOL AND I HAVE "NICE ONES"!
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are there any nudes of this^ stinkfish?
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@Jack, I only share pics of the goods with other Ivy League grads - Art Garfunkel, for instance, has seen them; Paul Simon, however, has not. Yes I am fancy huh.
Where did u go 2 skool? I am gonna need a transcript.
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Jack's got his Master's from School of Hard Knocks, I believe.
Honestly, these 2 just leave me speechless.
This whole "relationship" just boggles my mind.
I'm going to go look at some old pics of bald-headed Britney attacking a car with an umbrella to restore sanity to my brain.
Submitted by ricki lake on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 11:35am.
[ummmm, and "ricki lake"..... do you need a nice cup of chamomile, your binky and a nap, little one? :) ]
Seriously? Why is Bieber acting all Brad Pitt here and as if he was a man. He is just a boy. Jesus. Fucked up.
"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
They are gross.
That is all.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 12:43pm.
Submitted by agirl on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 12:11pm.
TEAM I WENT TO AN IVY LEAGUE SCHOOL AND I HAVE "NICE ONES"!
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are there any nudes of this^ stinkfish?
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@Jack, I only share pics of the goods with other Ivy League grads - Art Garfunkel, for instance, has seen them; Paul Simon, however, has not. Yes I am fancy huh.
Where did u go 2 skool? I am gonna need a transcript.
Submitted by shandi on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 11:50am.
I don't get the people who say Selena is ugly or has a bad body. She has a cute figure and she is very pretty/cute. Seriously, have people become THAT judgmental that they will call this little girl fat and ugly?
Her body is good (because of her age) but she needs a nose job, and something done to her protruding teeth.
Submitted by agirl on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 12:11pm.
TEAM I WENT TO AN IVY LEAGUE SCHOOL AND I HAVE "NICE ONES"!
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are there any nudes of this^ stinkfish?
_____________________________________________
"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
Submitted by kate773 on Fri, 05/27/2011 - 11:21am.
I don't know. I may get killed for this, I do think there's feeling there between them. However, I agree these pics look like they're totally playing up for the cameras.
And I do feel like I'm doing something wrong by looking at these pics. Weird.
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I agree with @kate773. They are playing it up for the cameras and yeah, it is weird looking at them.
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One minute you're crying on their shoulders, the next minute you're using your tears as lube to ride that shit and fuck the hurt away.- The Brilliant MichaelK- 3/10/11
He gets to touch her ass once a day - it's in the contract
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As useless as a saggy pair of tits
they are definitely boning. Selena's not dumb she knows how to hump the richest guys around her age
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous