What Makes Brangelina's Child Army Go EWWWWWW?
In an interview with USA Today for that Tree of Life movie, Brad Pitt talks about how he and Angie Jo are staring at marriage together and he also said what grosses out his army of children. Surprisingly, it's not the sight of Angie nom nom nom-ing on the penis root of one of her past victims. It's also not the sight of Brad Pitt cutting a piece of his beard off to put in his bong after realizing that it's enriched with weed smoke. It's also not when Brad and Angie make them walk more than 50 steps on the sidewalk without being carried.
It's worse than all of that. Maddox & Co. let out a hurricane of high-pitched ewwws when Brad and Angie announce that they are going to go spend some time together in their kissing room. That makes all of us go ewwww. The chosen ones are just like us!
Here's a few quotes from Brad's interview including that one about Maddox gagging himself at the thought of his parents kissing.
On the paps always being up his family's culo: “We're hunted. Our kids have to live behind a gate. Outside, there are people with cameras. But I'll take the trade-off. I never knew I was capable of experiencing so much love.”On if he and Angie will ever get married: “The kids ask about marriage. It's meaning more and more to them. So it's something we've got to look at.”
On how they're pretty much a trained traveling army: “On the road, we're a military mobile unit. The kids have got their stuff down to one backpack, and they're each responsible for their own bag. Mom does the packing; she's quite gifted at that. Puts in just what we need — nothing extra.”
On how his house sounds like such a tranquil and pleasant place to be: “Angie and I do everything we can to carve out some semblance of normalcy for them, to re-create the kinds of moments that were special for us. It's not unusual for the kids to be covered in paint. We have mud fights. It's chaos from morning until the lights go out, and sometimes after that.”
On that kissing thing: “There are no secrets at our house. We tell the kids, ‘Mom and Dad are going off to kiss.' They go, ‘Eww, gross!' But we demand it.”
Brad Pitt needs to stop with that "no secret" shit. When they say they are going off to kiss, they really mean that Brad is going to retreat into his hot boxin' room to make architecture models out of Popsicle sticks while Angie knife fights with her lesbian sex slaves in the chapel. That counts as a secret!
• 
Fraggle,
I had the same experience, but the ex was not a delightful person - basically crazy and his batshit wife - they were "separated" - would play their nasty kids against each other.
When I found myself having to plead my case - like the asshole brats would throw dinner I made on the floor - to their dad against an 8-year old - I realized I was the frog in the slowly heating water. Ex managed to keep up a mask of sanity long enough for me to care about his pathetic children. And he'd be trying to have a "rational" discussion like they were capable of decision making. And always override the decisions that I, the adult, made. Regardless of whatever discussion we'd had about "boundaries" it was the same shit everytime.
Fortunately the relationship lasted less than a year. I'd never dated a man with children. No one I know or know of has had a decent marriage when there are children from the previous marriage at home. It's always a stacked deck against you.
Being a stepmother is a thankless task...you have all the responsibility and none of the authority. AND if anything happens to the little fucks, YOU are one the hook, legally. Date a man with school age kids? NEVER AGAIN.
BUT it's not the kids - it's their crazy, stupid, vain, narcissistic parents who are to blame. ugh, it's traumatic.
The blessed single life everytime.
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Submitted by Fraggle on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 2:23pm.
Anonymoussss on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 2:11pm.
Why do they feel the need to sexualize their children and expose them inappropriately to their own personal lives? Do they not know the meaning of the word "boundaries"?
Children really do require boundaries. You're absolutely right about that, but, I think 'boundaries' are pure anathema to the Jolie/Pitt way of life. I knew [past tense on purpose lmao] a lovely Jewish author and we got along together so swimmingly but her nightmarish brats were just too much to take. When I finally confronted her that the reason I was breaking off our friendship was because of her undisciplined, unruly children she tried desperately to keep our friendship alive by putting her eldest son [the demon seed hellion] in 'finishing' type school to teach him better manners and behavior, but, it was too late by then. I was too traumatized by her wild children to even trust that anything would change because the real problem was not the children but how she dealt with them.
*sigh*
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semper fido
It's like when Michael Jackson, nose falling off,
skin bleached to the color of Elmer's glue, used to flounce around in public, wearing something outrageous, bleating in his castrata voice... then later complain he was "hunted."
Ziggy, point taken, and you are correct. I will not do that again.
Sincerely.
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It took awhile to get me in, and I'm gonna take my time
Don't fight that good shit in your ear
Now let me blow ya mind
Submitted by Fraggle on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 2:06pm.
Uh, that example is a little different than someone looking to an actor to be a better person. Your grandmother looked to an exercise guru to better her health, who had been around for generations. She was not looking at him to make her a better person. She worshipped him because he was able to touch something within her to better her health.
Submitted by Datura on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 1:50pm.
Say 'night night,' Dear Children! Mummy and Daddy are about to retreat to the Fisting Chamber.
hahaha. Or, "Brad, summon the servant and have him tell the little ones--he knows their names..."
They are just tow normal smelly people who got lucky. Her because her father got her an "In" in the business and him because he was just in the right place at the right time. They both have photogenic faces but there is a lot of ugliness to them both physically. They are not perfect. He has slimy gross out skin. She has the body of an old grandma. I don't think either of them is that bright. If poor Brad and Angie are hunted it is 100% their own doing that caused it. Plus , don't forget the tranny daughter and the2 little ones who are always gazing off into space. What's up with that?
“On the road, we're a military mobile unit. The kids have got their stuff down to one backpack, and they're each responsible for their own bag. Mom does the packing; she's quite gifted at that. Puts in just what we need — nothing extra.”
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I would imagine being a millionaire who can buy new jammies at every stop makes packing easier.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Remember when you said that you weren't going to read my posts or respond to them?
How about you try that and leave me the hell alone.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
I am a troll. Ignore
Deb, :)
he does love those kids. It is apparent every time you see him with them, or speaks of them.
*********************************************
It took awhile to get me in, and I'm gonna take my time
Don't fight that good shit in your ear
Now let me blow ya mind
ZiggyStardust on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 1:14pm.
These guys really do inspire me to work toward becoming a better person.
Thanks Brad.
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You have a long way to go. But if Brad will get you there, I say kudos. But I am pretty sure he likes Jewish people. Maybe you should start there.
*********************************************
It took awhile to get me in, and I'm gonna take my time
Don't fight that good shit in your ear
Now let me blow ya mind
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 12:45pm.
I am sorry. I think he is really cute when he talks about his kids, and how I love that Shiloh!
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I agree, PSL. And I'm not sorry. I feel no phoniness from Pitt. He seems genuine if not a genius. Brad ADORES these kids. I think that's the biggest reason that he and his partner stay together.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by WinnieT on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 12:40pm.
I'm sorry, you 'demand' that your kids are aware mummy and daddy are going off to kiss? Jesus fucking Christ, what a pile of shit statement that was.
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I think he meant they demand their time together. But who the hell knows with those two? I wouldn't be surprised if they let the kids watch, to be honest.
The revolution will not be televised. [Gil Scott Heron, April 1, 1949 – May 27, 2011]
RUDE!!!
♥ Threadkilla!
EveryStrangersEyes long lost baby video uncovered!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAQra8wJ0ws (thanks sugarfreeredbull:)
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too
''We're hunted. Our kids have to live behind a gate. Outside, there are people with cameras''
Stop calling the paps and your family will be ignored, you idiot called Brad Pitt.
Anonymoussss on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 2:11pm.
Why do they feel the need to sexualize their children and expose them inappropriately to their own personal lives? Do they not know the meaning of the word "boundaries"?
Children really do require boundaries. You're absolutely right about that, but, I think 'boundaries' are pure anathema to the Jolie/Pitt way of life. I knew [past tense on purpose lmao] a lovely Jewish author and we got along together so swimmingly but her nightmarish brats were just too much to take. When I finally confronted her that the reason I was breaking off our friendship was because of her undisciplined, unruly children she tried desperately to keep our friendship alive by putting her eldest son [the demon seed hellion] in 'finishing' type school to teach him better manners and behavior, but, it was too late by then. I was too traumatized by her wild children to even trust that anything would change because the real problem was not the children but how she dealt with them.
*sigh*
Passive aggressive stalkers are the absolute worse.
I am the lovable mongoose of Dlisted. It's a shame that there are so many snakes in the grass.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
I am a troll. Ignore
Passive agressive stalkers are the absolute worse.
I am the lovable mongoose of Dlisted. It's a shame that there are so many snakes in the grass.
=========================================
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
I am a troll. Ignore
Why do they feel the need to sexualize their children and expose them inappropriately to their own personal lives? Do they not know the meaning of the word "boundaries"?
They probably comment on their relationship because everyone in the media is asking them about it. They aren't exactly interview whores, so when someone has them in a room to promote a movie, they ask about stuff that will sell the paper/magazine whatever.
I have no problem with either of them, they seem like good parents. At least better than most of their peers.
And really, it's not like a Jada Pinkett or Will Smith "we have sex everywhere" interview.
Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 1:41pm.
Edited to add- Pretty sad when people have to look to celebrities to be inspired to be a better person. People should want to be better all on their own.
LOL! My obese, diabetic grandmother (on my mother's side) totally WORSHIPPED Jack LaLanne and he inspired her to get her butt into shape. She was also one of the very first patients to have liposuction. She was so proud of her crooked but thinner lip'd legs that she wore dresses to show her gams off.
All I'm saying is, inspiration can come from the craziest shit!
How much $$$ does AJ get paid to 'beard' for homosexual tinymeat brad pitt?
Incest, lesbianism, marriage...this woman will stop at nothing to get to the top.
When those kids get older and figure out "kissing" really meant fucking, they are doing to die!
Say 'night night,' Dear Children! Mummy and Daddy are about to retreat to the Fisting Chamber.
*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*
Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 1:41pm
Read my mind. If I start letting fucktards influence me, please shoot me.
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What a friend I have in jesus, I can say that
honestly. He's not like all my other friends who really don't care about me.
Who gives a fuck about these two?
Edited to add- Pretty sad when people have to look to celebrities to be inspired to be a better person. People should want to be better all on their own.
ZiggyStardust on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 1:14pm.
These guys really do inspire me to work toward becoming a better person.
Thanks Brad.
Hey, Zigster, [be it person/place/thing] whatever can inspire anyone towards self-improvement and positivity can't be all bad. Mr. Rogers definitely left an inspiring imprint on me as a child because he wasn't creepy and he seemed to genuinely want to reach out to children in a kind, gentle and fatherly way. I loved Sesame Street too for that matter and so did my daughter (she was a 'Sessy Street' addict actually ha-ha).
Submitted by bambam on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 1:11pm.
Lol. Big Strap, long time! :)
Sure, Brad. It's all fun and games until Zahara shanks you in your sleep.
WTF? I seriously thought that was J-Lo. But she wasn't clawing Skeletor. I'm SO confused.
_.•´¯`•._.•´¯`•._.•´¯`•._.•´¯`•._.•´¯`•._.•´¯`•._
Well ain't life just a bowl of cherries for them..I'm not really buying it.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
These guys really do inspire me to work toward becoming a better person.
Thanks Brad.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
I am a troll. Ignore
The kissing room... is that the bedroom or did she have a padded room installed like with Billy Bob...
Her plastic surgery is really creepy looking, but his wigs are the best in the business.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 12:45pm.
I am sorry. I think he is really cute when he talks about his kids, and how I love that Shiloh!
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I know, a 47 year old dude, actor by choice, talks about his big family of six kids (that he's always wanted) and telling of the special name they have for mommy and daddy time that the kids know means leave them alone. Trying to keep it normal, trying to relate and people hate on him, for chrissakes.
@ El B, my man, does your dick ever NOT shrivel up? ;)
She actually looks great in the face there, and he looks like a mouth breathing gym teacher.
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What a friend I have in jesus, I can say that
honestly. He's not like all my other friends who really don't care about me.
El Bastardo on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 12:58pm.
Fragz *BEEEEEEEEEEEELLLCCCHHHH* *bloooooooow*
No fair. I wasn't ready to inhale and missed it! Don't bogart da booze brefs! ;(
I agree that Angelina must be hard banging a side piece because she looks so NOT even FAKING it any longer with the Bradster.
"Mommy and Daddy are going to the dick sucking room so watch your cartoons and keep quiet"
"Mom and Dad are going to kiss" Who the fuck says that to their kids?
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
Louise :o)
Fragz *BEEEEEEEEEEEELLLCCCHHHH* *bloooooooow*
Submitted by El Bastardo on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 12:28pm.
She looks sexy there but as soon as my eyes travel down and I see the skeletal corpse wrist and fingers of death ready to drag me down to Hell my dick shrivels so much that for a few seconds I become medically classified female, EAT SOMETHING.
LMAO
El B, I love you.
El Bastardo on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 12:50pm.
Off topic. I don't drink much but today I went to a superb local Tapas with some family and downed a whole bottle of red vino and a triple Jack D. I feel all confuzzled. Excuse me if I belch while posting.
Well, at the very least, you could belch it forward so some of us could get high on the fumes with you!
Blah, blah, blahabity fucking, blah.
Does anyone else remember that story of when they first hooked up (at least publicly) in Africa and there was such a hullaballoo coming out of their room when they first arrived that the staff came running, thinking that they were being attacked.
They were apparently having wild jungle sex.
Fast forward about 5(?) years. Brad looks like a beat-down, used-up Willie Loman. He's just not up for the wild jungle sex anymore. (Unless he got with me, of course)
When they go into the kissing room that's probably exactly what they do: a chaste peck and "Goodnight Honey".
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Off topic. I don't drink much but today I went to a superb local Tapas with some family and downed a whole bottle of red vino and a triple Jack D. I feel all confuzzled. Excuse me if I belch while posting.
I don't believe a word either one of these two fart out during their interviews. And that skeletal death claw is going to give me nightmares - she's slowly morphing into chupacabra.
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Things were so much simpler when I was a kid. You had to work to see a weenus, too, they weren't just parked on the lawn like a plastic flamingo for anybody walking by to get an eyeful. agirl, 5/14/2011
I am sorry. I think he is really cute when he talks about his kids, and how I love that Shiloh!
*********************************************
It took awhile to get me in, and I'm gonna take my time
Don't fight that good shit in your ear
Now let me blow ya mind
Who was the person here who wrote, "You're sooooooo vein, I bet you think this song is about you..."? That still cracks me up and I think of it now every time I see an Angie post.
C'mon, fess up! Which one of you was it?
Submitted by El Bastardo on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 12:28pm.
LMAO!!!
She looks sexy but predatory there, like a vampire with her enthralled victim.
It's funny how every time they have a movie coming out they give these interviews where they discuss private matters and their family life, so they end up promoting themselves instead of the movie they're supposed to plug.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"