Andy Dick Sued For Rubbing His Last Name On A Dude's Face
At the 3:20 mark in the clip above, Andy Dick (looking like Courtney Love) awkwardly and drunkenly climbs up next to a sitting male audience member and lifts up his gypsy skirt before giving the dude a cheek full of NO!!!!!!! That male audience member is way too calm, because if Andy Dick's crotch started creeping towards your face, the theme song from JAWS would start filling your head and you'd immediately stop, drop and roll to the nearest exit out of fear that if you don't, a dark-sided image will be branded into your brain and not even a million kitten videos will be able to banish it. But the dude stayed sitting and now he's suing.
TMZ reports that Robert Tucker filed a lawsuit against Andy Dick, claiming that he was degraded and humiliated when Daphne Aguilera allegedly gave his face a peen massage during a performance at a club in Dallas last December. Robert says in his lawsuit that Andy "pulled down his costume skirt with his right hand, exposing the fact the he was not wearing underwear beneath the skirt." Robert claims that Andy then teabag raped his face by rubbing his genitals all over it. Robert's co-workers have not stopped making fun of him and he's officially scarred. Robert wants money from Andy, of course. "Yah, me too. Let me know when you find some!" - Andy Dick's dealer.
If you watch the clip above, you'll see that Andy's slimy coke noodle doesn't seem to make contact with Robert's face cheek. They share the same breathing space for a minute, but I don't ever see any "rubbing" going on. But still. If I put my unclothed crotch into a stranger's face without a signed consent form, the police would tackle me to the ground, handcuff me and drag me by my ankles in a jail cell full of growling men and thick sweat that can double as lube.
Hmm. Since I put it that way, I fully expect Andy to sue the Dallas PD for not putting him in handcuffs before throwing him into a locked room with sweaty men. How dare they deny him that right!
via Examiner
• 
somebody let Jon Lovitz have ten minutes in a dark room with this guy, already!
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Catch the expression on the face of Ms. Santa.
If you look @ the beginning of this hot mess, you'll see Dick put the microphone in the pocket of his skirt. It was the microphone he was rubbing on the guy, not his dick.
I doubt his dick is that big.
============
YOU AIN'T GOT NO MONEY!!!! MOVE THE FUCK ON!
~But.Seriously.Folks
How is Andy still getting gigs? Doesn't he do this every single place he goes, like the dentist, the library and the auto shop?
__________________________________________________
"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
Submitted by Richiegay on Tue, 05/31/2011 - 3:24pm.
This is like going to a Gallagher show and complaining about getting hit with smashed up bits of watermelon. Don't sit in the front row ...Idiot deserves this for paying to see Andy Dick !
--------------------------------------------------
Well said. This is almost as good as the old Tawny Peaks Story.
http://dlisted.blogspot.com/2005/03/tawny-peaks-breast-implant-on-ebay.h...
This is like going to a Gallagher show and complaining about getting hit with smashed up bits of watermelon. Don't sit in the front row ...Idiot deserves this for paying to see Andy Dick !
Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion
What a pity that Robert didn't reach up and rip his scrotum off, because watching a ball-less Andy Dick lying on the stage in a chick's wig and writhing in pain while he bleeds to death would be so much, much funnier than anything he has done so far.
Sad, very, very sad, he needs major help. What a sad situation, doesnt he have friends who tell him NOT TO DO THIS SHIT???
I thought about having a drink today but then I saw THIS.
I think Andy Dick hates himself.
Could have been worse. His last name could be "Herpes-Infused Chainsaw."
***************************
"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
This ain't no barbecue! Get your weiner off my grill!
Educate yourself on the badass, not-fuck-giving honeybadger, Olivia!
Anybody who pays to see that kind of shite ought to be sued themselves. Folks just need to carry a riding crop and give his nards a slap if he gets too close. I know it works...its what they do with pigs at the state fair...
http://www.faqs.org/photo-dict/photofiles/list/4313/5748riding_crop.jpg
Who is Andy Dick?
Maybe there is more to this and he got gonnorrhea of the face. Or crabs in his beard. Either way, this is yet another reason why you should not sit towards the front at a comedy show of any kind; you are asking for either a physical or metaphorical dick to the face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Damn, Andy Dick is a disaster. That said, this guy suing for absolutely nothing is an even bigger asshole and absolutely pathetic. I hope his case gets dismissed promptly while he gets heartily laughed at. And what was up with the trashy stripper chick in the Santa outfit? Whew... I wonder if people PAYED for that "show".
First of all why are ANY of these people paying money to see Andy Dick? Like all "dick rubbing" aside did that not seems like the dumbest, most annoying excuse for a "comedy" show to ever happen?
Andy Dick is such a tool - sloppy, fucked up waste of space. This guy is an even bigger tool... he practically helped him up on the stool. What did he think he was going to do up there??
I hope he doesn't get a damn cent.
I can't blame Andy. If I had a dick I'd try to randomly dick-slap people for going to an Andy Dick show too...
Time for rehab, round 52,104.
*******************************************************************
""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
This really DID happen. Kathy griffin wrote a whole chapter about this incident in her memoir, "The Unofficial Book Club Selection." She was there, and witnessed the entire mess. Andy Dick was wasted, and like 2 hours late to the show, then decided to pull this hot mess of a stunt. So, this guy has a good chance of winning...there are witnesses and documentation. Good luck, Dick head.
Edit: I'm on my phone, and can't see the video...didn't realize there was a video. So, there's the proof. I'm sure Andy will get charged with sexual assault or something of the nature...but yeah this Tucker guy is a bit of a douche..suing because his friends are making fun of him? But I guess I'd sue just to see if I could win...but then again, I'm a girl. A lawsuit will just make this Tucker guy more of a target for humiliation, now that there is actual footage of a dick being rubbed on his face for the world to see. yummy.
good luck on that one there is evidence he didnt rub shit on you dick face
plus there wasnt much to reach your head
some people are such idiots I swear
*tell em get in line and kiss your ass MUAH!*
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Tue, 05/31/2011 - 10:53am.
Yes, but did he get the car wash?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKJIbY0BUpY
*****************
I LOVE that movie! Hedwig is the best!
Anyone who goes to see Andy Dick deserves a dick in the face.
Yeah, Andy Dick is an idiot, and this is so not ok, but...the dick didn't actually make contact. It didn't even quite seem to make it out of their weird skirt thing he's wearing. So, fail on the lawsuit. Dumbass is a dumbass for thinking Andy Dick has any amount of money to give him anyway.
let me guess...this ray of sunshine also attended Charlie Sheen's Warlock Winning Tour of Decimation.
Andy Dick makes tranny prostitutes look dignified.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
twerk those stumps!
I would've punched him in the balls and tried suing him too. Some things happen to me when I was little and I swear any unwanted penis around would bleed to death.
Andy is an idiot. His lucky he didn't get beat. That guy is even stupider. He sure didn't react like he was bothered. My bf would've handed him his dick!
_________________________________
(Dough) I’m going to the store
(Tre) But you aint got no money
(Dough) I’m going anyway
Yes, but did he get the car wash?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKJIbY0BUpY
*glances longingly at Bucket List entry, "Dance on Andy Dick's grave"*
_________________________
"I just remembered--I don't work here!!" ~Casey Anthony
If I were him, I'd sue myself for going to an Andy Dick shitfest.
-------------------------------------
Just sayin.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFjyAOq341U&feature=channel_video_title
Isn't Andy Dick well-known for his inappropriate grabbing, groping, and kissing of random people? That's kind of like complaining you got splashed at the Shamu Show. Still, Andy is gross and I'd never go to one of his shows.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
And suing because the other kids at work are teasing him? What is he, eight?
Who would have ever seen this video if not for the lawsuit? Obviously the co-workers saw it, because it was probably taken by another co-worker. In which case, Robert Tucker should have responded to the teasing by saying, "yeah, but at least I didn't take a fucking camera to an ANDY DICK show!"
**********************************
When I was crazy I thought you were great
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Tue, 05/31/2011 - 10:39am.
How fucked up was he? He could barely walk!
***********************************************
I can only imagine how awful the stench of sweating out alcohol and coke was to the dude he peen swiped.
if you willingly go to a show featuring andy dick, expect shenanigans like this to happen to you...
robert should count his blessings it was andy's peen and not andy giving him drugs, especially since andy is usually the last person a ODing person sees before they flatline...
_____________________________________________
Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
How fucked up was he? He could barely walk!
______________________________________________
"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
The usual douche bags with their fucking cell phone cameras, and shit. Does everybody do this, everywhere, now????????? WTF????? Who gives a flying fuck about that footage? They SHOW it to people?? WHY???
Well, of course he's suing...he had that planned as soon as he saw the opportunity, yes? I have NEVER seen a person stand so calmly as the dick of drunk man comes closer and closer to their head. And yeah - if that drunk man has to climb on a stool to do it? WTF? Knock him down yo - that's when the party starts! Unless, of course, you think you might be able to sue.
♥ Threadkilla!
EveryStrangersEyes long lost baby video uncovered!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAQra8wJ0ws (thanks sugarfreeredbull:)
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too
mispost
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 05/31/2011 - 10:23am.
You won't get a red cent from Andy because the guy is literally living in a tool shed in one of his ex-girlfriends(?) place. I heard him on Stern about a year ago talking about it. "It's all insulated and everything" he said, and Howard's all...dude you're living in a fucking shed, you don't see anything wrong with that? and Any was laughing like nothing was the matter. Dude's FUCKED in the head and the sooner he OD's the better.
Fuck him and him and his 100 chances at life.
________________________________________________
AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
As for the last sentence, ITA and would say the same about Hohan and 99% of HW's screwups.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"What doesn't kill you makes you want to shank a ho!" - Hotmami
This guy waited 5 months to file? Ha and his reason basically boils down to the meanies at work picking on him.
Boohoo
About the only thing Andy can give him is something that would most likely involve being on medication for the rest of his life.
Pfft. This guy's nearly a bigger douche than Andy. What did he expect going to an Andy Dick show? It's like going to a Dane Cook concert and suing because the jokes aren't original.
What a staggering MESS! Damn.
Serves him right for even going in the first place. Dude should just stick his head in a bucket of bleach and go about his day.
You won't get a red cent from Andy because the guy is literally living in a tool shed in one of his ex-girlfriends(?) place. I heard him on Stern about a year ago talking about it. "It's all insulated and everything" he said, and Howard's all...dude you're living in a fucking shed, you don't see anything wrong with that? and Any was laughing like nothing was the matter. Dude's FUCKED in the head and the sooner he OD's the better.
Fuck him and him and his 100 chances at life.
put that fucking wristwatch in my mouth you fucking cokehead cunt
-------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
*peenfaces jack from the blindside*
Submitted by daisy100 on Tue, 05/17/2011 - 9:41am.
Daisy was wondering why Raul talks in the third person?
FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY!
Was only able to watch by fast forwarding, but Andy grabbed that dude's head THREE times to try to force the action and the peen never did make contact. That's what you get for rushing the stage to get a stupid autograph. And what did you expect if you're going see Dick in concert?
If that fucker's dick had been ANYWHERE near my face, I would have ripped it off like a goddamned paper towel.
**************************************
Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
sorry but I am a size queen and I *would* hit Andy Dick. Because apparently his cock is larger than...well, bigger than Herve Villechaize!
I'm sorry, but what did he expect from an Andy Dick "performance"?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"What doesn't kill you makes you want to shank a ho!" - Hotmami