Time To Feel Old
The year Dakota Fanning was born, some of us we were watching a speeding white Bronco on our GoldStar televisions in between sipping on Citra soda and choosing which free Vhs movies we want from Columbia House. And now look what Dakota Fanning did yesterday. File this under: Things that make a white hair sprout out of my ear hole (right after "bringing a sweater with me to the movie theater" and "saying 'yes" to car rental insurance").
Popeater reports that 17-year-old Dakota Fanning turned her tassel and threw her cap up with her fellow high school graduates at the Walt Disney Concert Hall in L.A. yesterday afternoon. Dakota actually earned a real high school diploma and not a GED she got from writing down the answers her tutor whispered into her earpiece because she was too busy doing tequila shots off of Colin Farrell's nutsack to study.
Dakota is supposed to start college at NYU this fall.
NOOOOO. NOOOO. And NOOOOOO. This is not supposed to happen. Hollywood scientists were supposed to keep Dakota Fanning a little girl forever. Because when Dakota grows, the reality that we'll all be massaging each other's achy anuses with Icy Hot gets closer. A young Dakota Fanning was the real fountain of youth. Actually, since I put it that way. Rubbing each other's achy anuses doesn't sound that bad. You get the Icy Hot and I'll grab my sweater.
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Good job to Dakota and her parents. She went to a regular school, had regular friends, and did normal teenage things like go to her prom. Ma & Pa Fanning make parents like the Spears and Lohans look like even bigger twats for living off their kid's success. Dakota is just as well known as any of them and still managed to finish high school while working in the industry.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 12:45pm.
Raul has underwear older than Dakota.
TWIT PICS OR UR LYIN!!!
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I just got a few new pair! Well they were new too Raul.
Submitted by daisy100 on Tue, 05/17/2011 - 9:41am.
Daisy was wondering why Raul talks in the third person?
FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY!
the one kid next to afropuff is goin bald!
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Just sayin.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFjyAOq341U&feature=channel_video_title
She used to scare the shit out of me.. creepy little kid.
And I used to screw BMG out of cds.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 12:37pm.
LOLOLOL!
I have a huge amount of respect for people who continue to work and better themselves, even though they could probably live comfortably without doing very much at all.
These pictures look awesome.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
I am a troll. Ignore
Columbia House!!!
My poor Dad got suckered into that mess. Poor thing kept paying full price for a fuckin' CD he didn't want.
Raul has underwear older than Dakota.
TWIT PICS OR UR LYIN!!!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
How many of your pet's names did you use to fuck Columbia House out those 9 free CDs?
Submitted by daisy100 on Tue, 05/17/2011 - 9:41am.
Daisy was wondering why Raul talks in the third person?
FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY!
how did she turn out so....normal?
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
LMAO @ Columbia house! Buy 15 CD's for 1 penny, then they own your ass for the rest of your life. Do people still buy CD's?
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
Good for her! she seems like she has her head screwed on right. Taylor Momsen, are you paying attention?
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
*throws yellow SONY walkmen at wall*
That's not so bad. It's gonna be way harder on me when she FINISHES college.
♥ Threadkilla!
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too
Good for her. It's nice to see a young actress do things the right way for a change. The vapid whores should really pay attention
the other day there was a "it's not MK" conspiracy.
i'm here to start a new one.
who the hell took over sucky?
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
Columbia House: Damn YOU!
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
Shit I forgot ALLL about Columbia House. Damn that just took me back. I feel my arthritis kicking in. Thanks MK.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 12:27pm.
Hahahahahahahaha. I have shoes and purses older than Dakota Fanning.
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Raul has underwear older than Dakota.
Submitted by daisy100 on Tue, 05/17/2011 - 9:41am.
Daisy was wondering why Raul talks in the third person?
FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY!
*sits on front porch swing yelling GET OFF MAH LAWN with MK*
ohhh how sad! it is like the first long night of winter when the girl of youth and smile grows to a old woman. it is like summer's last breath passing through without a goodbye. it is a sad thing to see a girl grow to woman....but....the one door close, the other door open, a new sunrise is around the corner, what beauty of god and love awaits me tomorrow? a feeling of new and journey is again come!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
But the real accomplishment here today is that the swarthy nerd-hunk in the row in front of DF has carefully coaxed the slightest, wispiest tuft of pube-fro to insouciantly peek peek peek out of his mortarboard. A++
congratulations dakota...now off i go to sign up for my aarp membership....
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
Good for Dakota actually earning her education. Her parents have done the child star thing right (no embarrassing pictures, dui's,dressing her age etc)
Submitted by ditquoi on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 12:29pm.
good for her!
please don't quit midway through college to become a fashion muse! :D
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Yes! How about Dr. Dakota Fanning or even Dakota Fanning CPA?
ah those young whipper snappers grow up sooo fast.
::shuffles off to change Depends::
oh and thanks for making me feel older than dirt MK
good for her!
please don't quit midway through college to become a fashion muse! :D
Good for her. At least she will turn out normal...
Hahahahahahahaha. I have shoes and purses older than Dakota Fanning.
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997