This Is A Lie
The Mirror broke its oath to always tell the truth by publishing this headline today: "Prince Harry chats up gym buddy Cameron Diaz"
My initial reaction to this charbroiled turnover of lies is best expressed through this GIF:
After I stopped my heart from attacking itself by shooting Pinot into its veins, I read the rest of the fan fiction The Mirror came up with after getting stoned on red weed. The voices in their heads say that while Cameron Diaz is filming the movie Gambit in the UK, she's keeping up the six-pack on her ass cheeks for A-Rod by working out at some super fancy and exclusive gym. This is the same fancy and exclusive gym where Prince Hot Ginge apparently works out. You know where this is going so I'll just let this source take it from here:
"Since first clocking one another and saying hello, they have coincided visits on two further occasions. During the second one, they were pounding along on adjacent treadmills and Harry cheekily nudged-up Cameron’s speed dial, suggesting a one kilometer race. Cameron agreed... and won. They have become pretty friendly – Harry even invited his new gym buddy out drinking with him and his Sloaney chums.”
If that quote was a Billy Idol song, it would be called LIES WITHOUT A FACE! The Mirror is really trying to make me believe that a mere mortal like Cameron Diaz was next to a sweaty Prince Hot Ginge and she never stopped to get a jar so she could collect his salty pore nectar to bathe in later? That's what anybody would do. The Mirror also wants me to think that Prince Hot Ginge would actually be seen with a raggedy, Dorito-faced, droopy-eyed womp womp bitch? Oh, wait. Shit. God save this queen because I'm about to have a heart attack sequel.
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Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 11:34pm.
Haha, nah. He threw out the first pitch at a Mets game last year when he was here for a polo match. You know any MK photoshop job would have been a bit more scandalous ;)
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
I guess the Met's hat is an MK photo shop job.
They're usually a little more obvious.
I'm a little slow, what can I say.
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GERONIMO!
The Mirror could have photoshopped PHG's head on a better body in their treadmill pic, I'm sure he doesn't have floppy Simon Cowellesque moobs.
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Clapton is God
Don't worry, MK, I'm sure that he's just hanging out with her to slowly work his way to you. Besides, she's way too old for him.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
MK this has been the best way of showing the way you feel with the GIF. she made me think of back in the days (70's) when there were soap magazines they were called fotonovelas, and when the good girls cried there was a picture like it.
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Mi Queso Es Su Queso/My cheese is your cheese
He may use her for an evening. I wouldn't be worried about him trying to marry her or anything.
Submitted by Honeybadger on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 8:14pm.
Oh, and when is the royal family going to finally admit that PHG is not Prince Charles' kid? I mean, really?
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I would think never, since then he wouldn't be prince anymore, right? He seems like a nice enough kid who tries to use what he's been given to help people, more so than the Hiltons and Greasy Bears of the world. I hope they leave it alone until he chooses to pursue it.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Double post sorry
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Oh, and when is the royal family going to finally admit that PHG is not Prince Charles' kid? I mean, really?
Educate yourself on the badass, not-fuck-giving honeybadger, Olivia! ~MK
"raggedy, Dorito-faced, droopy-eyed womp womp bitch"
Another amazing nugget of literary genius!!!
Educate yourself on the badass, not-fuck-giving honeybadger, Olivia! ~MK
Just put on a raggedy blonde wig and hire a kickboxer for the facial adjustments.
Happy Hour
She had a screaming fight with Jill and Jill left and Ramona showed us her armpits and body-shakin' distress at the end of the last episode.
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Dark-sided!
Lol thanks IF. I am very behind :-(
Why is Ramona doing that?
I love the Ramona gif! That "scene" was insane!
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Dark-sided!
He was hot for a couple years there, but it's time to face facts, MK: PHG is losing the hot.
That Chelsea picture made me LOL. Face SOOO ugly, and then a bunch of ugly moles on her chest. I think William will definitely not be having babies with his new wife, and PHG and Chelsea will produce the next generation of fugly royals. It's like a perfect storm of fug forming right before our eyes.
"Clocking"? Dang, ain't heard that since like 1991.
This one smacks of fiction. Okay, we've read their side of the "story". Here's what might have really happened...
Some tabloid person saw PHG on the cell and they said "Wouldn't it be cool if he was calling Charlize Theron back?" "Oooh, no what about Cameron Diaz?" "Yeahhh, that's even better, cuz people actually know who that is!" -end scene
I can't imagine Harry and Cameron Diaz together? I can imagine, however, a waiter going "Would your son like the children's menu...? What?" <_<
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 4:20pm.
I am more interested in the Ramona gif than this story.
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I know, right? Don't you just want to wrap her up in a blanket....and shove a pillow over her face until she stops breathing?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
she best watch her azz else she find it dead under a fuckin' traffic bridge in paris with some towelhead.
He's got a type don't he!
I'm not PHG's type at all, but he's not really mine either. Call me when he gains 50 pounds and grows a beard, then I'm bout it bout it.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
PHG is sporting a Mets cap, ARoid...SNAP!
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GERONIMO!
Since this has no impact on my life, I don't really care.
Submitted by Wanted on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 4:26pm.
This is also a premature ejaculation story. I mean, I don't want to hear about this until Cameron changes her name to Krystle and Kate Middleton changes her name to Alexis Colby
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I get a very strong Alexis Colby vibe from Pippa.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Chelsy Davy > Cameron Diaz
no doubt in my mind
Chelsy's a fun (in every sense of the word) girl, I guarantee.
Leave Chelsy Aloonne!
She is a badass who has a career other than looking camera ready at all times. She's the type of girl who spends 15 minutes getting ready in the morning, and whatever she looks like at the end of those 15 minutes, she is going out.
Moving on.
They would have surveillance footage of this.
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Remember in the 90's when people said "hey, its the 90s right?"
I love the new STOP LYING tag....I imagine it said in the voice of Snoop Dogg like "I says I'm 19, she says stop lyin'."
"Some men rob you with a six-gun -- others with a fountain pen." -- Woodie Guthrie
Harry loves blondes no matter what they look like. Doubt Diaz would want him though.
But most importantly Waity had a gym put in at Clarence House, why would Harry pay for a gym membership when he has a home gym?
LOL@ the gif.
PHG better not be talking to Pizza Face Diass. Fuck. That.
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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 4:51pm.
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 4:48pm.
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 4:37pm.
UK dlisters, what do they mean by clocking? Every time I've seen clocking used in that context, it means whacking someone in the head with an object. Please tell me that's what it means in Brit slang as well, because it would make this story so much more interesting.
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It just means noticed. For example "I clocked (noticed) you looking at me."
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Thank you for explaining it. And damn it because I was really hoping there was video somewhere of PHG smacking Cameron in the head with a pool noodle.
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Not a problem. Lmao If only!
“He’s the love of my life. I adore him and he’s such a character and he’s so happy and at the end of the day, that’s what’s most important.” - Xtina on Max
http://ramblingsofabrokenmind.blogspot.com/
I'd buy it. Wills needed to marry mommy. PHG just wants to fuck mommy.
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It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 4:48pm.
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 4:37pm.
UK dlisters, what do they mean by clocking? Every time I've seen clocking used in that context, it means whacking someone in the head with an object. Please tell me that's what it means in Brit slang as well, because it would make this story so much more interesting.
*
It just means noticed. For example "I clocked (noticed) you looking at me."
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Thank you for explaining it. And damn it because I was really hoping there was video somewhere of PHG smacking Cameron in the head with a pool noodle.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
I'm not from the UK, but clocking is checking someone out or taking notice of them.
"Keeping one eye open, still clocking the hoes"
Bell Biv Devoe, Poison.
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 4:37pm.
UK dlisters, what do they mean by clocking? Every time I've seen clocking used in that context, it means whacking someone in the head with an object. Please tell me that's what it means in Brit slang as well, because it would make this story so much more interesting.
*
It just means noticed. For example "I clocked (noticed) you looking at me."
“He’s the love of my life. I adore him and he’s such a character and he’s so happy and at the end of the day, that’s what’s most important.” - Xtina on Max
http://ramblingsofabrokenmind.blogspot.com/
O/T, but Weiner's wife is pregnant: http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/06/08/weiners-wife-is-pregnant/
I'll ship some of my grandmother's finest shanks your way, MK. It's on!
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
UK dlisters, what do they mean by clocking? Every time I've seen clocking used in that context, it means whacking someone in the head with an object. Please tell me that's what it means in Brit slang as well, because it would make this story so much more interesting.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
I would love to know how many women this lil boy has had NOT SEX with. I bet it's lots.
♥ Threadkilla!
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too
I KEEP LOLING AT THAT RAMOANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNUH GIF
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
LMAO@ the new STOP LYING tag!
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Caca: "Dear Lord, remind me that my gift is not self-worship, but is the worship of others."
Lord: "...Where'd I put that 'Smite' button?
-nomeadooha
Submitted by Miami on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 4:22pm.
There is no way PHG is chatting up Pizza Face. He might say "hello" and be cordial, but that is about it.
Celebrities are not as highly thought of in the UK.
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EXCUSE ME! The land where Jordan/Katie Price is a big deal has better standards? I don't think so. Celebrities big and small get just the same amount of attention in England as they do everywhere else.
I don't know what a womp womp bitch is but I like the sound of it.
This is also a premature ejaculation story. I mean, I don't want to hear about this until Cameron changes her name to Krystle and Kate Middleton changes her name to Alexis Colby, they are both wearing gem encrusted sequin dresses with super shoulder pads, and those bitches are slapping it out in front of a swimming pool where Prince Hot Ginge is lounging naked. This must also be on a live feed with an additional camera shooting below water.
This gets the random alleged couple of the day award.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
I can't imagine you crying face up into the camera. I picture an Anne Baxter as Eve Harrington face down into the pillow and pounding the bed screaming "NO! NO! NO!"
I think he def would.
suckandfuck is right. Cameron just better make sure he doesn't pop her front zits on accident.
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Caca: "Dear Lord, remind me that my gift is not self-worship, but is the worship of others."
Lord: "...Where'd I put that 'Smite' button?
-nomeadooha
There is no way PHG is chatting up Pizza Face. He might say "hello" and be cordial, but that is about it.
Celebrities are not as highly thought of in the UK. It's all about breeding, social position, etc., not the amount of money you have.
Sorry Cammy.
I am more interested in the Ramona gif than this story.
He has good taste in baseball teams. ;)