Poisoned Or Pregnant?
Justin Bieber's playground coochie bumpin' partner Selena Gomez was taken to the hospital last night after her head started to ache in a bad way and she experienced the kind of nausea you feel when you translate the words "playground coochie bumpin" into a visual.
TMZ reports that after she sat across from Jay Leno on The Tonight Show, Selena was overcome with the sicks and needed medical attention. Selena is still in the hospital today to undergo tests. Her show at an outdoor mall in Santa Monica tonight has been canceled. Selena's rep isn't saying what put her on the hospital bed.
If I was Selena Gomez's doctor, I'd ask her three things:
1. Why are you messing around with the baby Marcy D'Arcy?
2. Did she happen to see a deranged toddler in a Justin Bieber onesie crawl out of her dressing room at the Tonight Show with an empty jar of poison in its tiny hand?
3. Is she allergic to any farm animals? Because if she's knocked up, I'll have to prescribe an antihistamine so she isn't snotting all over the place when she births out the second coming of Bieber in the manger.
Oh, and she should probably wear a gas mask during delivery, because Usher is going to show up in a cloud of smoke at some point to collect Justin Bieber's first born. A contract is a contract!
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A prominent restaurateur has pleaded not guilty to charges that he tried to cause his pregnant girlfriend to miscarry by poisoning her with a white, powdery substance. resume help
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 06/10/2011 - 5:09pm.
Submitted by Bree: "Celebrities are so quick to go to the hospital..."
They probably don't have to sweat whether they can afford the $50 co-pay the way the rest of us do.
Unless you need an X-ray or stitches I don't see the point of sitting around the ER.
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Haha yeah good point, but then again they probably don't have to sit around in the ER like we do either. I've seen some people do crazy shit just to be seen sooner (i.e. rolling around on the floor moaning, etc) and my sister's boyfriend actually spent 8 hours waiting to be seen in the ER once (he had a boil under his testicles, I cringe when I type that). I'd probably have to be shot before I go to the ER considering those things.
What is that white band around his middle, pulled way up high? Is he wearing his boxers like grampa pants? Some sort of "umbilical stump protection" thingy? The fuck?
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His head is so far up his ass, it's actually popped back onto his shoulders again.
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Alcohol? I saw a picture of her once where she looked totally wasted and I wouldn't put it past her. My vote is either alcohol or a migraine.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
sounds like she experienced a migraine.
Submitted by lizz on Fri, 06/10/2011 - 2:48pm.
If she is preggers, she'll have an abortion. No way Bieber's mama lets her stay pregnant. Selena might be looking at quite the fat check. Maybe she's smarter then all of us... hmm...
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Bieber's mom had him at 18 and Selena's mom had her at 16, and I doubt either of them were millionaires at the time. I'm just sayin', the things kids fight parents the hardest on are the things they can say "well, you did it and everything turned out OK." to. At least that's how I was with my parents.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
She can't be pregnant. Even with modern methods, two girls scissoring can't get pregnant.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
Ha! He totally looks like Marcy Darcy. ahhhhh
I know he's just a kid but he seems like such an annoying brat I can't help but hate him!
It's not an original thought, but bearding like this is one reason the Disney chicks turn into incredible sluts later in their careers. Repression is generally not a good thing.
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B. Preston, That's the Way God Planned It (Concert for Bangladesh)
Justin Beiber makes Samantha Ronson look like Audrey Hepburn.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Fri, 06/10/2011 - 10:16pm.
Anthrax singer: "We don't know that one, sir."
hahaha
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"The company could assert the clause as a defense against payment from its coiffeurs."
How could she be pregnant if she's dating a lesbian?
Srsly, I can't even imagine these two fucking. Even if you gave me pictures, they would look fake.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Marcy D'Arcy is one of my favorite characters of all time.
When punk rock band Anthrax visited the Bundy house:
"Do you boys know The Monkey's 'Daytime Believer'? Cause Davey used to really ROCK OUT on that!"
Anthrax singer: "We don't know that one, sir."
She looks 14 but is about 19 in real life with a llot of money. She should keep the baby because we all know that's what she's in the hospital trying to decide
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Submitted by azgirl on Fri, 06/10/2011 - 5:43pm.
I can't believe how much he looks like a girl! Is this really what teenager girls think is hot?
Really...they could be sisters.
CPS is on this, right?? RIGHT!??
Submitted by howdareyou on Fri, 06/10/2011 - 3:43pm.
I hope he gets his period in public wearing white shorts.
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YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS !!!!!!
"The secret to skinny and happy is eating well and fucking a lot, amen."
^^ another siggie waiting to happen
The most important thing to not about this post is the photo. Selena has french tips. French tips! So trashy.
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
God, I almost hope she is pregnant just because that will be so freaking hilarious....his playboy/cool dude image that he tries so hard to have (FAIL) would change to the baby carrying a baby. They can share the wet wipes and mashed bananas. Maybe Selena can pretend they are twins. I name the fetus Dustin.
When did The Biebs get his ear pierced?
Does he have other piercings (I don't expect them to number in the thousands)?
Is it 'piercings day' like it was 'bearded men day' earlier in the week?
Is MK theming his posts?
OK - now I've confused myself.
*goes off to sit in darkened room*
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Clapton is God
LOL, nice sunglasses, kid. Wonder if this douche will hit puberty before 20?
This is one of the Disney people, I just can't figure out which one because they all look alike. And you can't get pregnant from a lesbian.
"Some men rob you with a six-gun -- others with a fountain pen." -- Woodie Guthrie
I can't believe how much he looks like a girl! Is this really what teenager girls think is hot?
In my adult life, I have had to go to the ER exactly ZERO times for "not feeling well." These idiots need to stop taking random shit that their dealer/agent tells them will make them skinny or happy. The secret to skinny and happy is eating well and fucking a lot, amen.
Wow. That is Samantha Ronson on the right.
Submitted by Bree: "Celebrities are so quick to go to the hospital..."
They probably don't have to sweat whether they can afford the $50 co-pay the way the rest of us do.
Unless you need an X-ray or stitches I don't see the point of sitting around the ER.
If Ruth Gordon shows up with some fresh herbal drink I would be very scared.
Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion
Prolly a migraine. I have thrown up from those before. Horrible.
Submitted by KA on Fri, 06/10/2011 - 4:08pm.
Oh, eek, I keep getting those two mixed up. Which one dated a Jonas?
for the looks of it...Justin has a twat, or is still shooting blanks...I doubt he can get anyone pregnant yet with his tiny baby dick (if he does have one).
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"A hole's a hole as long as there's a little heat in there." - suckandfuck
"The dudes look plucked and pampered while the chicks look fucked and tampered. I love it." - MK
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><
It probably is poisoning, sadly. Some creepo young fan of his.
Either that or appendix is a good guess.
Nice to see the traditional Kevin Federline style of LA celebrity doucheness is not lost on today's young "men".
My money's on poisoned seeing as how all of his fans are little fuckin' lunatics in training.
Of course she's pregnant. At 18 she's getting up there in years and needs to secure her financial future.
Justin can toilet train the baby since he just learned that trick a few years ago.
Submitted by Kerfuffles on Fri, 06/10/2011 - 4:01pm.
Wasn't she in rehab up until a while ago? She probably just mixed meds and booze. Back to the drunk tank with you, baby baby baby.
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that was demi lovato and im ashamed i even know that.
"A contract is a contract" - LOL!
And Justin Bieber looks like Midget Douche-A-Tool in this photo!
Wasn't she in rehab up until a while ago? She probably just mixed meds and booze. Back to the drunk tank with you, baby baby baby.
I cosign on the migraines. Nausea is common with migraines and I should know cause I get them all the time and it's like having your head explode. Feel for her if that's the case.
Otherwise hope it's not an illuminati babeh!!
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Nourish the Inner Asshole
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Those two lesbians look super happy together.
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
I still can't get over how much these 2 brats look alike. It's freaky:(
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FANTA FANTA, NO COKE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
Idk she seems nice enough to me and for her sake she better hope she's not pregnant. Can you imagine the death threats if that was true and it got out.
I hope he gets his period in public wearing white shorts.
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When I was crazy I thought you were great
This is by far one of the worst fake couples in Hollywood ever.
It's probably her appendix.
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Fri, 06/10/2011 - 3:21pm.
Mr. M - lovely to see you, too!!
*waves and passes Mr. M. a big ol' cocktail*
Submitted by LaChaylo on Fri, 06/10/2011 - 3:18pm.
Disney's trying the cutesy couple route to transition Selena into ho-stardom.
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You are correct. She's already ho-hum so maybe this will catapault her into "whatever".
*waves at Chay..lovely to see you!!*
"Seymour!! You said you'd never get married until you bought me an iron lung!"
PAPA SMURF - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We all know this is a publicity coupling with benefits. The Miley Cyrus whore transformation didn't work too well, so Disney's trying the cutesy couple route to transition Selena into ho-stardom.
Just wait. Ho will be talking about waiting for marriage and shit while she bumps cooches with SamRo Jr. before her whoreification album comes out. See: Our Lady of Cheetos and Justin Timberdouche.
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Pass a memo around you dumb fucks!
Submitted by Stan Hooper on Wed, 04/06/2011 - 7:27pm.