Friday, June 17th 2011
Cock Of Ages
This is the first look at Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx in the Rock of Ages movie and I don't know whether he's completely unaware or if he gets a tingle where it counts knowing that tons of foolish bitches (like yours truly) will exercise their Photoshop right by replacing that phallic black tube with something that has a urethra and isn't afraid to use it. This is aching for dick like bad! And beyond that, Tommy Girl looking like a swirl of Fabio and Creed has my retinas as frazzled and fried as that way-too-happy trail of bush leading down to his Xenu peen. The things it's seen! Shit, the thing I've just seen. I'm gonna need an audit and a barley water eye wash.
via TomCruise.com
No thanks.
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But he's been pretty much yellow, and I've been kind of blue
But all I can see is red, red red red red now
What am I gonna do?
Would you be curious about exchanging hyperlinks?
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The day the music died....
These songs could only be considered Rock by white suburban housewives. Poison, JOurney and REO Speedwagon? Gimme a break.
I'll wait for the Trent Reznor/David Fincher Broadway version of Fight Club.
@RustyHooligan
LOL I just noticed your avie is a dog in dress ups - I thought it was a weird looking kid.
Dopey me!
PS...
Xenu. An Alien with ray guns, rocket ships flying around...soo cool.
God. Saying shalt, thou, whence a lot...booooooring.
You know I'm right.
Submitted by TANGELINE on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 9:30pm.
Wow, of all the people in Hollywood to hate, CRUISE isn't one of them. I normally hate douchebags, but this guy is genuinely sweet. I know someone who met him and she said he treats you like he knew you forever and is kind and not snobbish like some other celebs.
Exactamundo.
He has made some great films, good actor and never gets in drunkoid/drug trouble.
Scientology = Xenu, Christianity = God. Two groups of people worshipping an unproven thing from outer space IMO.
Christian posters will hate me for saying that BUT if you're a Christian WHAT ARE YOU DOING POSTING ON AN EVIL, DEMONIC, GOATHEAD WEARING SITE LIKE THIS?
Yep, just clicking on DListed ONCE guarantees an afterlife of burnt flesh, sorry :(
Cruise is in as much denial about his age and star power as Warren Beatty, who thinks he can still credibly play Dick Tracy in a sequel (he was too old for the first film). These guys have got to give it up (Harrison Ford had a hard time doing this, too), start playing their ages and admitting that maybe they aren't the draws they once were.
That said, Rock of Ages looks as if it will be one hot mess, and not in a good way. Didn't Constantine Maroulis play this role on Broadway? Isn't he like 17 or 18 years younger than Cruise? And more to the point, can Cruise even sing or will Marni Nixon be dubbing him?
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sat, 06/18/2011 - 9:31pm.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Sat, 06/18/2011 - 9:27pm.
I know your kids have FB accounts: I saw you talking about them on TV: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yu4zMvE6FH4
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BWAHAHAHAHA!!! That's the best link you've come up with yet!
I don't need to keep tabs on my kids - the ingrates still live with me.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Sat, 06/18/2011 - 9:27pm.
I know your kids have FB accounts: I saw you talking about them on TV: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yu4zMvE6FH4
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sat, 06/18/2011 - 9:21pm.
Not on the FB - been thinking about it, my kids all have accounts.
Why to I need to be contacted and what's the pedo pic in the avie?
Submitted by becky n sydney on Sat, 06/18/2011 - 9:14pm.
heeheehee. I recall watching Risky Business and thinking, This guy has star power. (Same w Rebecca De Mornay, so what do I know?) In hindsight, TC is all there in Risky Business: the intensity, the drive, the white undies.
Are you on Facebook, Ms. Beckistan? If so, can you carefully tell me how to find youse?
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sat, 06/18/2011 - 9:09pm.
Someone should mix this up with "Old Time Rock 'N' Roll."
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Cruise left pooey skid marks all over that song once. It doesn't deserve a second dose.
Someone should mix this up with "Old Time Rock 'N' Roll."
I wonder if Tom Cruise will ever realize that he was a very young sex symbol in the 80's, a terrible actor for all time and is now making a major fool of himself in his fanless dotage.
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GERONIMO!
this picture is enough to scare me the hell away from that movie. meh i dont see his movies since the couch jumping anyway.
as for the argument that suri may not be his, I beg to differ. that kid looks like him. having the child is all part of the contract - makes it look good on paper when he's paying her off.
I guess Scientology doesn't frown upon rock stars.
Submitted by Heilige Bimbam on Sat, 06/18/2011 - 1:55pm.
Oh, come off it, leave the man alone. He is what he says he is. Why can't you accept it?.Or is it the case of "misery loves company" Sad that some members of the gay community feel the need to" out" people, where the rule for all, gay or straight, is let people be whatever they want to be.
I must mildly disagree. He pretends to be straight, with a paid-for wife and a kid who may not be his own. Then he takes on all these straight, tough-guy roles. He's not being who he says he is. At least Hugh Jackman openly embraces a little Broadway. :)
One has to wonder if there's anything left of the original Thomas Cruise Mapother IV. Everything about him seems so fake, scripted and carefully constructed. And in the rare moments he allows himself to be himself, some weird, disturbing behavior inevitably ensues.
He reminds me of Joan Crawford -- a completely artificial construct whose original self was carefully erased, because it was deemed utterly inadequate (and unworthy).
Oh, come off it, leave the man alone. He is what he says he is. Why can't you accept it?.Or is it the case of "misery loves company" Sad that some members of the gay community feel the need to" out" people, where the rule for all, gay or straight, is let people be whatever they want to be.
I just can't take him seriously anymore, that picture just makes me laugh. Talk about trying too hard!
right, havent read the comments, i know what this site is like-i know i'm gonna get shit but i dont care i'm gonna say it.
Tommy boy looks so do-able in that pic
yeah yeah he's a wacko scientologist and blah blah blah but just ignoring that an looking at that pic he's a total babe (and no i'm not being sarcastic-begin judgements on my taste in men)
So THAT is why Suri wears heels all the time...she wants to be like "Daddy"
Tommy Girl likes this role because he gets to openly wear heels that make him the size of a grown-up.
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Next time you want to talk to me, you call my lawyer. He's in the phone book under "Fuck You."
Submitted by LMA618 on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 10:27pm.
We demand a Bowie Bulge! (See Labyrinth)
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
"A small-town girl [Malin Akerman] arrives in Hollywood at the height of the 1980s rock-music scene"? Narrated by Russell Brand? TC plays the leader of Arsenal, the biggest rock band in the world, who has to flee to Latin America to escape crimes he committed in the US?
I shan't be watching this one.
Ok, so, this movie is about a short rockstar? Glenn Danzig? I wonder who is shorter? I have met Danzig a couple time at Comic Con, and he is one short guy.
And I still don't care what anyone says, Tommygirls smugness and douchebaggery trumps his acting skills tenfold.
HIS FACE?!?! GAH!!! What the hell is that shit on the side of his face?!?!
Who the fuck would even think he could play a rock star?! No. This is just wrong and fucks up the whole time-space continuum.
And where the hell did all of these Tom Cruise lovers come from?! This is DListed!!! No one here likes this douche.
I just showed this picture to my boyfriend and he went 'What? Tom Cruise is a really good actor and he still looks great".
And he wonders why I spend more time on DListed than I do talking to him.
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
that pose outta be capture in velvet painting
sessy
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
His neurosis is just a given at this point that I don't have a need to hate where it's not needed. I know nothing about this film but if it at all requires him to be in the same mode that he got into for Magnolia, then it might be quite good.
My bad, wrong link, wrong author on The New Yorker article. if you care. If you haven't read it this is an eye opener.
The Apostate
Paul Haggis vs. the Church of Scientology.
by Lawrence Wright
February 14, 2011 .
Asked how high he got in Scientology’s levels of study, Haggis said, “All the way to the top.”
Primary Sources: L. Ron Hubbard’s life.
Primary Sources: Documents from legal cases involving Scientology.
Primary Sources: L. Ron Hubbard’s Navy documents.On August 19, 2009, Tommy
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/02/14/110214fa_fact_wright
It looks like he has Flip cellphone inside his cheek. Why wouldn't they airbrush that out.
I love any crap movie about rock stars...forget the one with Mark Walberg(sp) and Jennifer Aniston, but loved it!!
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Dale Doback: Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Sat, 06/18/2011 - 12:23am.
To give credit where credit is due: this is a powerful image.
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This raises a good point. Think what Cruise could have done if he wasn't tied up in that silly religion Hubbard fabricated. Their heirarchical bs, all slaves and drones, and then master class people like cruise, travolta, howard, etc. Celebrities are so vulnerable.
Cruise has/had tremendous power in his own ethos. Why the fuck, he feels he has to suck up to scientology is conjecture, but likely not healthy.
Cults are dangerous to democracy and to people and people like Cruise, great or not, promote them so there you go. He sucks.
(make that nsfw image mk)
See The New Yorker by Paul Haggis,
"Inside Scientology"
http://www.newyorker.com/online/2011/02/14/110214on_audio_wright
Had family damaged by this training. Tragedy after tragedy behind the scenes.
imma get heat for this but i actually think the freak is a good actor and I admire the fact that he worked his way up in the business.
We reckon there is quite a bit of photoshop in that photo - starting with the tight abs (where Tammy does not have same) right to the 'bulge' (where Tammy really has none)
maybe the freak will pull it off who knows
WTf is this fuckery?! Who the hell is gonna wanna see Tommy Girl in a movie about a rock star? Bloody hell is going on?!
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I hate choo!
To give credit where credit is due: this is a powerful image.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
I realize that it's just a combination of lighting and muscle structure, but it does look as if Cruise has had a chicken cutlet poorly implanted into his cheek.
Or a vast blister has formed from repeatedly rubbing his face up against the crotches of young men.
haha
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Rod & The Faces I'm Losing You
He didn't even stuff his trousers. I like a good 'ol rock star bulge. So many things wrong from head to toe, it's hard to count.
I was interested in checking out Rock of Ages until Tom Cruise and Julianne Hough were mentioned, now my interest level is exactly fook all!
Submitted by Tex-Bro on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 3:31pm.
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Your avie always makes my day! :)
All I have to say about this movie is "Hahahahahahahahahaha!"
Submitted by gucci on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 9:39pm.
Exactly. My comment was based mostly upon public perception. I'm not arguing his talent. And, I'm not really all that concerned one way or the other.
Submitted by cliffdwelle: "Well, I just think a couple of arty flicks where the focus is usually directed upon the actor and the interactions with the supporting cast might have been more beneficial. You know, kinda something to reestablish his ability and range in the public eye as opposed to bomb after bomb."
Too bad they cancelled "Passions"; he could have played Timmy's long lost brother.
Submitted by TANGELINE: "Wow, of all the people in Hollywood to hate, CRUISE isn't one of them.. I assure, if people were being held against their will the FBI would have given them a taste of WACO redux! I don't know him, poking fun is one thing but is all this venom necessary?"
No, but it feels really, really good. And if you think this is venomous, I suggest that you stay away from the following threads (wait, I'm getting out my hate-o-meter, on loan from the Hateocracy): GOOPy (aka Fishsticks), Paris Hilton (these two running close of late), anything Kardasshian (typo? who gives a shit on these people; oh, wait, somebody sort of did on one of them!), and Angelina Jolie. And how many people were held against their will and made to watch "Valkyrie"? Where was the government then? They needed to go all Ruby Ridge on that mess.
cliffdweller:
Well, I just think a couple of arty flicks where the focus is usually directed upon the actor and the interactions with the supporting cast might have been more beneficial. You know, kinda something to reestablish his ability and range in the public eye as opposed to bomb after bomb.
My 2 cents.
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i agree. i mean which actor with true respect for his/her craft would want to go down in (entertainment) history for spending so much time in the media? not a good idea.
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
Submitted by acatnamedfrank on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 8:00pm.
Is he fucking insane? A combo of those three rock stars would be so hardcore that it would rip a hole in the universe. Tom Cruise's creepy whitebread self couldn't even IMAGINE such awesomeness.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Wow, of all the people in Hollywood to hate, CRUISE isn't one of them. I normally hate douchebags, but this guy is genuinely sweet. I know someone who met him and she said he treats you like he knew you forever and is kind and not snobbish like some other celebs.
For all who wouldn't go watch his films because he supports a cult, who cares? It is his business what he does with his money. I assure, if people were being held against their will the FBI would have given them a taste of WACO redux!
I don't know him, poking fun is one thing but is all this venom necessary?
derp...