Can't Keep a Good Ho Down
So Hef teared in his shaken-not-stirred verrry dirty martini for a whole week and a half, straightened up his silk jammies, and got another trick to ride his Viagramobile. Bitch boom bye Crystal, it was nice knowing you. Okay, not really.
TMZ says the new toddler in Hef's playpen is Miss January 2011 Anna Sophia Berglund. What a refreshing departure from his usual bleach blond bimbo with huge fake tittays lineup! And she's an older woman, 24 days older than Crystal-what-was-her-name. Bravo on growing up, Hef!!
Speaking of side pieces, thanks so much for all the love today. MK makes this shit look as easy as me on a Saturday night but it's not!! I didn't expect so much support. You are the loving jock strap to our limp noodles, and thank you for putting up with this sub-par shit for a week. XOXOXO
• 
Submitted by Bjork You on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 12:05am.
"Heads will roll."
DARN TOOTIN'.
My favorite comments in this head-spinning/exploding/rolling thread:
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 11:36pm.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 11:39pm.
Just remember, Cow Appreciation Day is July 15th
Is there really a "Cow Appreciation Day"?
Apparently there is, in the States of all places...
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Ahhh, refreshing. Thank you, you two.
And Rusty Hooligan is right, it is just a goofy holiday started by Chik-fil-A. Nothing official, not a national holiday or anything, everybody still has to go to work. BUT, a free meal for anyone who dresses up like a cow, that's something! (I was in a mall food court a couple of years ago, sitting at my table eating my sandwich, surrounded by a bunch of "cows" at their tables, eating their sandwiches. As I was unaware that there even was such a thing as Cow Appreciation Day, it seemed a bit odd to me.)
Of great importance however, Mickey von Dutch, knowing how you like to get things right, the fact is that this year COW APPRECIATION DAY IS JULY 8TH. (I'd hate for anyone to miss it, or dress up like a cow on the 15th, a week too late, which is when it was LAST year.) (:o]
Okay, enough. Oh wait!...
Fucky fuck fuck. There. For those of you who to whom obscenities-free comments are invisible. I want my measly comment to count for something here, even if it's just a speck. ( I know it's past "curfew" but I'm slow.)
And jack and Sweetas, keep up the work.
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There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud. (Carl Sandburg)
Hippo wins.
Submitted by catwoman on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 9:26pm.
all the money in the world won't get me to bang the Cryptkeeper. Some things a light switch just can't fix.
This is why I read the comments, gems like this one! LOL
OnT: With the economy this bad Hef will always find some sweet [broke] young thing to be his gf
OffT: Sweetas and Jack, hang tough babies! You is doing fine!
♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥~~~♥
elen sila lumen omentilmo-LOTR
Actually - this is WRONG. His NEW gf's name is Shera Bechard. She is another Blond (I KNOW SHOCKER) - Found pix here: http://bit.ly/ki5Mzg
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www.youknowyoucare.com
This is not a cool kid party for those who believe they "run" the site as a "favor" for mk. This is not "inside joke" fun time at the jock and cheerleader table.
This is someone's livelihood.
No one wants to read your shout outs to your friends. Not many people really care about the forum, inside jokes, etc. Most people who come here come to laugh with MK, read the stories. not to participate in comments. And we who do participate in the comments here and do not venture off into little suburbs of DListed (because LIVES need tending to by most of us) may not have even noticed the stupid fight in the comments section until that fuck you post.
MK is wonderful. Sweetas and Jack worked hard and did well. Too bad they didn't ignore the comments. Too bad they fucked with Disney, which was REALLY a smart and sober move.
He deserved a break. If it were a party for the cool kid commenters, it really should be a "Blind Item - Who is posting for MK today?" type thing, right? Then all the commenters' names in the main blog would make more sense.
The cool kids will always point to a hurt person and say, "You gonna cry about it? Cry, baby cry..." like all of you are doing.
MK deserves better and it's sad that he cannot enjoy this time w/his mom. he has to talk w/his lawyer about how he's going to settle w/disney for that stupid mickey picture.
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 1:55am.
Damn, you bitches take this shit SERIOUSLY!
Mk took a break and let a couple of funny Dlisters blog for the week. It's an inside joke for those who post on the forum. Otherwise most people wouldn't get it. I think it shows a kind of intimacy with his audience that you don't see with other bloggers. It's pretty cool to me.
Sweetas and Jack, KADOOS for taking on a hard job for the week.
A lot of you Dlisted sluts are funny as hell but also a bunch of mean drunks!
^^^^^^LOLOLLLLLL!!! For REALS, bitches be seriously butthurt over this whole thing!! They need to STFU already!
God how I wish I could drink, but for now I'm just mean and nothing else:/
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
FANTA FANTA, NO COKE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
Why are you posting about this tired ole piec of shit anyway?
This shit is all played out and not interesting.
Big gel, ain't ya love?
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Sweetas honey, you're doing a fine job of running the asylum.
Yes Hugh, Mz generic, $1.99 control-top hose is real 'fuck-you' revenge material. I'm sure Crystal is sobbing face-first in some hunk's lap right now.
************
Black Dub w/ Daniel Lanois
I thought one would usually avoid wearing control top pantyhose, visible, under a bustier? Where did she get those, CVS?
She looks a bit slow.
There is some ONTD level drama up in this bitch lol.
What's wrong with that chick's face btw, is she harvesting nuts for winter?
*blech*
can someone hire a guardian for hef or something...he clearly can't make good decisions anymore...
_____________________________________________
Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
Seriously, some of you whiny, complainy bitches that have been here for 7 weeks or have never posted need to relax.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Goodnight, becky!
@ Lucifer & @ Goldigga
Bedtime for me, ladies. Catcha later!
Free All Right Now
Lucifer - it's my sole reality show weakness.
Glad I'll have someone to rehash (aka bitch) with!
Free All Right Now
@Becky...No, I don't watch it sorry! :(
@ becky
My accent is a little weird, because I lived in England and other places as a child. It makes me feel all special and shit around here, haha, so I'm trying to hold onto it and not say things like "gonnae no dae that???"
I love PR Australia! I watched the first two seasons (totally disagreed with last season's winner) Is it starting again? Yay, we can come here and geek out over it in Open Posts when it starts. But you'll have to give me a day to catch up because I would have to stream it online afterwards.
Goldigga - are you into Australia's Project Runway?
Loopy Gorilla (Melbourne boy) has insider info on the contestants but has refused to disclose. The naughty tease!
Free All Right Now
@Becky....hehe, yes! Now I'm just waiting on the photos! *cringe*
Hey Goldigga! Recovered from your weekend shenanigans?
*jellis*
Free All Right Now
Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 4:45am.
______________________________________________________
Ah, someone in the same time zone as me! I'm in Adelaide :) Always late to the party!
Lucifer - What can I see? Not too much, it's dark out!
ba-boom
So do you have a sessy Scottish accent?
Free All Right Now
@ becky
Holy shit, you're in the future! What can you SEE?
lol, if you were in Glasgow instead that wouldn't be Hogmanay; it would be just another Saturday night haha.
I would love to visit Australia, but I absolutely hate long flights.
This old fart doesnt know when to stop? He's been a joke for a long long time, he's ridiculous, he's hilarious, irrelevant and already smells like corpse. We may be stupid, but not that stupid to buy his 'ho crap!
Hi! It's 8 p.m. Tuesday night here. I'm having a quiet evening in. As usual.
:(
I've only been to Edinburgh once and that was during Hogmanay - I had to step over the dead-drunk bodies in the streets. LOL
The Moody Blues Go Now
becky! I'm in Edinburgh, Scotland. It's only 11am here, haha! How's it going?
Hey Lucifer! Still up?
Where on our big, blue planet are you?
The Moody Blues Go Now
Submitted by LadyCaca on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 2:45am.
Umm...when MK takes back the blog how is he going to post again? Didn't he give Jack and Sweetas the passwords to post on this site. Is he going to mind zap them or kill them so they can't take over the blog forever.
A blog owner can create additional usernames and give them permission to post.
<"Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 2:52am.">
I'm off, but I didn't know you lived in Sydney! The most beautiful city in the world. And the home of the funniest drag queens! I was down there 3 or 4 times, love the Blue Mountains. Hayman Island. The wine country. Cheers!
Submitted by TexnDoc on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 2:48am.
Nite, TexnDoc. Hope to see you tomorrow - I always read your comments. We don't always agree, but I find you to be one of the most interesting posters on this site. :)
The Moody Blues Go Now
<"Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 2:45am.">
Well, I had to go work and don't have a Sweetas or Jack. I'm going back to bed. (Hey, you guys do appendectomies?)
Submitted by LadyCaca on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 2:45am.
I suspect after today they will be thrilled to eradicate their memories "Men in Black" style.LOL
The Moody Blues Go Now
Umm...when MK takes back the blog how is he going to post again? Didn't he give Jack and Sweetas the passwords to post on this site. Is he going to mind zap them or kill them so they can't take over the blog forever.
@TexnDoc
Hey TexnDoc! You're up late. It's usually only the international contingent at this hour. :)
The Moody Blues Go Now
<"Submitted by Glambert on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 2:22am.
BTW...Thank you for now allowing Republican funded Minnesota political ads to run on this site MK!!!(so nice of you to NOT care about people fighting for the same exact rights as you just got in New York!!!!)
Keep insulting the Lohans for going to the highest "cheap" bidder but you're doing the exact same thing!
You are a complete and utter "sell out" MK!(Or should I say Lindsay?)">
Oh, please. Do you know how any Google powered ads work on ANY blog? I was in Italy and all his ads were in Italian. In France and all in French. I visit some Conservative leaning sites and you'll see Obama ads. On the gay Towleroad you'll see Michele Bachmann ads.
It's Google powered. Here in Texas we as sure as hell aren't seeing your Minnesota ads and neither is "sell out" MK. Go jump in one of your "10,000 lakes" or whatever they say on your license plates.
I want to know who took down the pic above this one. It was Mickey Mouse flipping us off, and saying we were haters, and such.
Submitted by Glambert on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 2:30am.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 2:25am.
@ Glambert
When I read your post, I *heard* it in a Butters voice. :)
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I understand that would be funny hearing butters talk like that but please don't ignore the message...I really am being serious about all this.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""
I appreciate your sincerity, Glambert, and am not attempting to belittle yourself or your message.
However, I am not American and know little of American politics.
As per my user name - I'm in Sydney, Australia. :)
The Moody Blues Go Now
Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 2:25am.
@ Glambert
When I read your post, I *heard* it in a Butters voice. :)
---------------
I understand that would be funny hearing butters talk like that but please don't ignore the message...I really am being serious about all this.
@ Glambert
When I read your post, I *heard* it in a Butters voice. :)
The Moody Blues Go Now
Submitted by Glambert on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 1:56am.
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 12:56am.
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That's not what MK is doing.
He is filling in assistants so he can take time off of his difficult well paying career of blogging!
__________________________________
You do realize this isn't your personal blog, right?
I'm with folks encouraging sweetas and Jack to not post so much in comments, because most from yesterday seem to be either "you rock" with them thanking those who said so (and yes, it did seem to turn into a FB deal with love being shown to people they have interacted with in comments)
or you suck". It derailed each and every thread and that's not a good place to be when you actually want to comment on the story.
At the same time, do NOT blame the genius who has done this from the start for actually wanting to take some time off while still hooking his readers up with stories.
I think if he posted that he wouldn't be around for a week the complaints would have been 10 fold.
He did this so people could still sit around and comment.
However I can see where people will be quickly done with the love/hate fest and inside shit to 'special' friends being mentioned in posts. I would be willing to bet over 1/3rd of the hits are from folks who never even read comments, so it's
lost on them.
(I say this having been a mod on Fark for 5 years. You would be shocked on how many readers can't be bothered to deal with comments)
At the end of the day, hell yeah MK is missed, but have faith in the people he trusted with his baby
@Glambert
I'm not seeing any of these ads but I suppose it's one of those by-region things. I know exactly one person from Minnesota. He came over to Singapore and married one of my best friends after they met on OK-cupid.com. He's always dissing Minnesota and saying how much better it is here.My politics are decidedly left-wing also (though I'm pro capital punishment) so keep on keeping on. I hope you get equal rights soon. Over here homosexuality is illegal (officially).
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"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
Sorry double post.
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"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
Lame...
@Bjork_you
Great post. Wise words. Of course i prefer MK but Sweetas and Jacko have a really hard time of it. Some appreciation wouldn't go awry. I didn't get to see the infamous Mickey post.
@SaraR
Que Sera will forever remind me of the Heathers, one of the best movies of all time. Of aLL TIME!
@Novaya
"Satire as sharp as a Ginzu knife" Fucking lol.
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"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
Snideychick sez:
Haters gonna hate.
*side eye to Kenneth G., Glambert, Novaya Havoc*
Sweetas and Jack keep on keepin' on.
On topic: Isn't Hef dead yet or will that require a wooden stake?
Damn, you bitches take this shit SERIOUSLY!
Mk took a break and let a couple of funny Dlisters blog for the week. It's an inside joke for those who post on the forum. Otherwise most people wouldn't get it. I think it shows a kind of intimacy with his audience that you don't see with other bloggers. It's pretty cool to me.
Sweetas and Jack, KADOOS for taking on a hard job for the week.
A lot of you Dlisted sluts are funny as hell but also a bunch of mean drunks!
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 12:56am.
-------------------------------
That's not what MK is doing.
He is filling in assistants so he can take time off of his difficult well paying career of blogging!
BTW...Thank you for now allowing Republican funded Minnesota political ads to run on this site MK!!!(so nice of you to NOT care about people fighting for the same exact rights as you just got in New York!!!!)
I live in Minnesota and now thank god we have Mark Dayton as a governor and not only is he pro-gay EVERYTHING as far as rights but he just became the first MN governor to ever march in a pride parade here.
And the filthy "ads" you have allowed on here(and get PAID FOR)which are paid for by Republicans and are bashing him because he wants to charge the wealthiest 2% in the state rather than raise taxes for all us poor middle class folk!!!!
Mark Dayton is the best thing to ever happen to Minnesota as far as gay rights and left wing politics in general and I DO NOT appreciate you selling out for Republican funded ad space against him on this website!!
Keep insulting the Lohans for going to the highest "cheap" bidder but you're doing the exact same thing!
You are a complete and utter "sell out" MK!(Or should I say Lindsay?)
Hey there, Lucifer!
*high fives back*
The Moody Blues Go Now