The Hermie Scheme!!!

Bernie Madoff woke up singing THIS with a little morning wood this morning for the first time since he got little MaryJane Rottencrotch to sink her lemonade stand profits in to a LIFE CHANGING INVESTMENT!!!

Lady Dipshit sold tsunami relief bracelets for $5 stating all proceeds would go to the tsunami victims when in fact $3.99 went towards the shipping and handling (aka - her duct tape tuck fund).

Ari Kresch, some legal type fucker, teamed up with Detective Odafin 'Fin' Tutuola and filed a lawsuit against Caca and her fluffers - Fulfillment House, Bravado International Group Merchandising Services, Universal Music Group, House of Gaga Publishing and Live Nation Merchandising, questioning the legitimacy (<-- SUCK IT STONEY!) of the charity... evidently sales tax being charged on a charitable item is frowned upon and a RED FLAG!!

You know fucking what, I would have been more willing to donate to a STFU bracelet sponsored by Chyna's clit and wouldn't have given two shits where the money went...

(Chyna's clit was not available for comment)

via E! News

Posted by: jack-n-the-hat

•

Submitted by Bowchickawawa on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 6:53am.

At first I thought this was Alyssa Milano in some cheesy rock star role.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"And people try to tell me that God wasn't high on the good shit when he made this place" -by angel_i

Submitted by shave my mom on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 9:24pm.

You didn't have to initiate Disney lawsuits. It's better to ignore the trolls.

You are doing a decent job.

Submitted by RustyHooligan on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 7:59pm.

As soon as Gaga writes and performs a whole album as good and as lasting as something like "Dark Side of the Moon" or Weezer's debut CD, then I'll start taking her seriously. The fact that she props up her career with wig changes suggests it'll never happen.

..........
World in Changes

Submitted by shave my mom on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 7:46pm.

<<<.comes out of lurking.>>>

It's rude to give "shout outs" to your friends. No one's expecting professionalism, of course.

Otherwise, good job.

<<<<.goes back to lurking.>>>

Submitted by BitchHouse on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 7:27pm.

Too broke to pay for S&H from her own bank acct.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Eazy E's own prescription for "nourishing the inner aspect", Nutz On Ya Chin.

Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 6:30pm.

OH MY "FUCK" WRITTEN OUT TWICE AND AN ABBREVIATION!

LET'S GET OUT MORE, LADIES

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

Submitted by Lemonene on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 6:27pm.

Loaded with fuck bombs ----- Loved it

Good job Jack

Submitted by Dallaspowers on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 4:44pm.

This is so awesome. Love it.

Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 4:28pm.

The formaldehyde fumes coming off all the vinyl costumes and acrylic wigs MUST be slowly killing the bitch.
*eternal optimist*

The Moody Blues Go Now

Submitted by Karen Flatts on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 4:57pm.

Submitted by bebebop on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 4:37pm.

Fuck this, fuck that, fuckety fucking fuck fuck BLAH BLAH BLAH....
Hard to read with so many f bombs, dude. Such excessive cussing is a sign of a poor vocabulary. I don't want to be a critic, but just saying.....
**************************************************

Fuck. There isn't one single fucking swear fucking word in this motherfucking post besides two shits and a couple of fucks for fucks sake you fucking moron. Learn to fucking read you stupid fuck.

There. That should send you into a fucking tizzy.

Submitted by Callie on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 4:02pm.

Is her nip out in this pic too?? If so, good pick Jack!

I hope this is karma starting to kick her ass.

Submitted by Cat Scratch on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 3:37pm.

Gags is in trouble and I'm GLAD, I couldn't be more happy she's being held accountable (for once) for being the HUGEST fucking blowhard phony.

Now this is where she cries and whine about how much of a victim she is in all of this, right? Somehow her being unpopular in highschool will relate to her scamming people into thinking they're donating to a charity.

Good god she sucks. She's not a human rights activist, just a pretentious business woman.

Submitted by Pootie on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 3:37pm.

these posts are hard to read, not funny, and give me a headache.....
---------------------------------------------------

Thank god it's not just me. I thought I was having a stroke or something because I couldn't understand it.

HA! I was thinking the same thing, am I stroking out??? I can't follow this writing at all. I appreciate the fact that someone is helping Michael K. out. I also appreciate that everyone needs some time off. Really, I miss you Michael K.

POOOHTEEEE!

Submitted by Tripitaka on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 3:29pm.

If even 1 out of 5 dollars when to charity its still doing better than Red, which Bono, Turlington, Oprah and every other narcissistic cunt ran into the ground with their greed. That didn't make one cent for anyone needy.

Submitted by SpiceDong on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 3:25pm.

i thought it was Amy Winehouse with a blue wig...CaCa must have had more work done.

-------------------------------------------------

"A hole's a hole as long as there's a little heat in there." - suckandfuck

"The dudes look plucked and pampered while the chicks look fucked and tampered. I love it." - MK
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><

Submitted by Lemonaide on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 3:20pm.

Submitted by Pootie on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 3:37pm.

these posts are hard to read, not funny, and give me a headache.....
---------------------------------------------------

Thank god it's not just me. I thought I was having a stroke or something because I couldn't understand it.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 3:10pm.

Submitted by bebebop on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 4:37pm.
Fuck this, fuck that, fuckety fucking fuck fuck BLAH BLAH BLAH....
Hard to read with so many f bombs, dude. Such excessive cussing is a sign of a poor vocabulary. I don't want to be a critic, but just saying......

BTW....you are definitely missed, Michael K!
--------------------------

yes, LOADED with F bombs...

btw, you have been missed, also, fucker.

_____________________________________________
Anyone can get screwed, its not rocket science.
Submitted by kate773 on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 11:06am.

Submitted by bebebop on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 3:07pm.

BTW....you are definitely missed, Michael K!

Submitted by Emeriesan on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 2:54pm.

Oh, and bitch please, L7 wore that hair better.

Submitted by Emeriesan on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 2:48pm.

I've said it before, i'll say it again: she's a scam artist and a cunt.

I saw footage of her red carpet arrival in Japan this weekend, she looked so fuckin' stupid keeping her eyes closed to show off manga-style painted-on eyes. I cannot wait for her lame ass to fall into oblivion.

Submitted by ben_dover on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 2:48pm.

Good thing I didnt buy it for my grandma
Bitch was going Bananas saying it was gonna help Japan...HA! was acting like this grandpa here and his pinwheels http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8YxIeia8P0

*tell em get in line and kiss your ass MUAH!*

Submitted by ben_dover on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 2:41pm.

does that mean i can keep my bracelet + get my money back?

jk jk I would never buy anything from her

*tell em get in line and kiss your ass MUAH!*

Submitted by TBH on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 2:40pm.

I bet caca only did this because of the good PR but instead got her ass sued hahaha.

Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 2:17pm.

Why does this not surprise me in the least? every other day there's an article about yet another charity getting busted for cooking the books with creative accounting.

@ZiggyStardust, well said. I hope they throw the book at her.

*******************************************************************

""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga

Submitted by Pootie on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 2:07pm.

these posts are hard to read, not funny, and give me a headache.....

POOOHTEEEE!

Submitted by Thornhill on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 2:03pm.

Written like a true drunken, backwoods hillbilly. where can I get my hands on one of them there Chyna bracelets innit...?

_____________________对您的和平_____________________
You simply cannot fathom the immensity of the f*ck I do not give..

Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 2:03pm.

Okay, so now we know that Caca and her affiliates are criminals, as well as creatively bankrupt bottom feeders.

Indent believe that Caca knew where the money was going, but that makes her negligent. Now I'm no fancy lawyer or anything, but I would assume that when you publicise a fund in your name, and ask for donations through your website then you are at least partly culpable for any wrong doings.

This trick owes the world an explanation. People gave money in good faith that all of the proceeds would go toward aiding people who had lost their loved ones, homes and livelihoods. They were at worst lied to, and at best misled.

It's either wilful deciet (fraud) or it's negligence. I don't think that the law looks favourably on either. There should be a full investigation into the companies that pocketed these handling and shipping charges, and every recite should be poured over. Did anybody make any money from this shambles?

I really hope that she is sued. Everybody whongave these people money should be reimbursed, and all parties should be banned from participating in any future charity work or fundraising.

=========================================

Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Sat, 06/25/2011 - 8:13am.

Ziggy, I hope you fall off your soap box. Then people will pay attention... to the green alien blood.

Submitted by Slurpee on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 1:58pm.

Chyna's clit bracelet? Hahahahaa! Disgusting and funny! Well done Jacky!

Submitted by gines on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 1:52pm.

This bitch is nothing more than a hustler of the worst variety. She knows how to play the game. She understands the entertainment industry. That's why her 15 minutes have not run down yet. Her people know exactly how to keep her dumb ass relevant.

Gaga is nothing more than a pawn in an extremely successful money-making scheme. She's got her followers hooked on her like cocaine. That's why you're more than likely going to see a Perez Hilton fucking quote saying "WTF SHE WAS JUST JOKIN' ABOUT THE 5 DOLLARS LOL GUYS."

-----

you seem spritely.
watch me rant: http://www.youtube.com/user/gineriella

Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 1:26pm.

Jack, are you supposed to comment on your own posts?

Ah, I'm just pokin' at ya. You and sweetas are cracking me up today. Great job.

Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 1:26pm.

Love it jacko!!! And lmao @ "SUCK IT STONEY". Jack is tha GOOGLE MASTAH

Submitted by icallbs on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 1:22pm.

on a sort of on topic note: blago was convicted this morning on 17 out of 20 counts.

on topic: for some reason, i think caca would be really popular in prison.

Submitted by fishsticksfan on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 1:16pm.

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 2:08pm.
Fin Tutuola is Ice T.'s character on SVU.
**************************************

Thank you. None of this was making sense to me.

Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:59pm.

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 2:25pm.

I hope she gets another 15 minutes. 15 minutes in the bathtub with a toaster.

Works for me, TV!
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Submitted by ronnyk on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:57pm.

Buuuuzzz! Wrong!

I purchases two of them and I to pay for the postage in addition to the $5.99.

Submitted by spankypants on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:56pm.

Oh. Sorry jack. You are the credited writer here. I'm still using that one.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:56pm.

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 2:22pm.
DRUNK OFF HIS ASS!
------------------------

can someone pleasr point to ^THIS for me? donkey shame

_____________________________________________
Anyone can get screwed, its not rocket science.
Submitted by kate773 on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 11:06am.

Submitted by howdareyou on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:55pm.

Um, well, in my state, even charitable organizations have to collect sales tax when they sell something. However, if you have 45 million different corporations involved in this shit, you can bet your ass the tsunami victims end up owing Gaga&Co 125% of all the sales of these bracelets.

Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:55pm.

Fin Tutuola! Hahaha!

Stupid celebrity scammer. That means 80% of those funds did not go where she said they would. I'm shocked -SHOCKED - that a ho who dressed in frogs and had fake alien bones put in her shoulders turned out to be a big ol' fraud. A big ol' fraud who is against plastic surgery but clearly has a new nose and new boobs.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:55pm.

Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 2:20pm.
Jesus, fuck! Aren't her 15 minutes just about up????

**********************************************

I hope she gets another 15 minutes. 15 minutes in the bathtub with a toaster.

***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

Submitted by Haribo on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:55pm.

dirtywhoremouth, yes they do! i love gummies. too bad they're evil (they fuck your enamel).

'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'

Submitted by spankypants on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:54pm.

Legal type fucker joins my list of phrases in frequent rotation from the Michael K lexicon.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:53pm.

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 2:08pm.
Fin Tutuola is Ice T.'s character on SVU.
--------------------------

I should have linked a picture. Thank you for picking up what I am slowly puttin down.

_____________________________________________
Anyone can get screwed, its not rocket science.
Submitted by kate773 on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 11:06am.

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:52pm.

Sally: with one eye and DRUNK OFF HIS ASS! I didn't think he's be able to pull it off!

****************************
"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11

Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:50pm.

Jesus, fuck! Aren't her 15 minutes just about up????

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Submitted by Haribo on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:50pm.

snowpiece, indeedy! caca is definitely looking less hideous in the face these days. the face is looking better but the costumes are still fug. time to improve those too.

'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'