The Greedy Hog That Is JLo Hogged The Royals
After Prince William and Duchess Kate blinded a bunch of celebrities with their bright white Stonehenge teefs at that BAFTA event in L.A. last weekend, I wondered why there were only pictures of them shaking hands with JLo, Nicole Kidman, Barbra Streisand and Tom Hanks. There were no pictures of Prince Willy bowing down to the Hollywood beacon of A-list celebrity we call Blake Lively, or any portraits of Kate knighting Chris Evans for his contribution to cinema in Cellular. None of that shit. And Mary-Louise Parker tells us why.
People asked Nancy Botwin if she got to gaze at herself in the skin mirror on Prince William's head or shake the hand that has twisted Prince Hot Ginge's nipple in the rugby locker room, and she gave this priceless answer:
"I didn't meet them. I was shoved out of the way by Jennifer Lopez. Uh oh, I shouldn't have said that."
No, Mary-Louise, you should've said that AND more. I can just picture that nasty puta JLo blowing out verbal farts about how her assistants call her the American Princess Di while her three-headed rabid dog ass barked, snapped and hissed at any ho who tried to keep her from boning the spotlight. JLo's guard dog butt was slobbering all over the place, so Mary-Louise decided it was safer just to park Nicole Kidman facing Prince William, crotch down and then have a pretend conversation with his reflection in Nicole's forehead. But seriously, Mary-Louise should've pulled out a flute and lulled JLo's Cerberus ass to sleep with music.
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Submitted by Picasso1 on Sat, 07/16/2011 - 9:36am.
WTF is that fat ass Puerto Ricon skank doing there to begin with? MLP should've pulled a Nancy Botwin on JLo's fat ass, Simon Cowell must've been the connection for the diva of PR, to be meeting Wills and Kate.
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Yes... because her ethnicity is of such importance to her skankiness.
*doesn't roll brown eyes*
WTF is that fat ass Puerto Ricon skank doing there to begin with? MLP should've pulled a Nancy Botwin on JLo's fat ass, Simon Cowell must've been the connection for the diva of PR, to be meeting Wills and Kate.
Submitted by Hoegarten on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 4:03pm.
Well, usually the mean selfish people who get ahead professionally have terrible personal lives. 1st of all, it has just been reported that Marc Anthony and J. Lo split though I believe the worst for her was losing Ben AffleK-he was a handsome educated Oscar winner with no baby mamas. A little happiness and it was soon dashed.
Many of the mean people I know are divorced or had major relationships that have failed in a spectactularly painful way, and/or ugly, and/or have children that dont respect them more than they respect the local prostitutes. Remember in the 90's when people said "hey, its the 90s right?"
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HAH! They JUST did! :-D
You have some good points.
J-Low was trying to fuck the prince of course...no doubt she was giving him her signature Zoolander face
Why should either of these two bitches represent Hollywood to British royalty? ugh
Why should either of these two bitches represent Hollywood to British royalty? ugh
Submitted by sybil on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 10:42am.
Stop the drama MLP! This bitch brought her dog into the "store where I work" in NYC and the pooch shit on the floor...while I cleaned it up, she ignored me & kept sampling lotions & fragrances! I never got a "thank-you" or even "fuck you!" No pity from me!
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yeah, I believe that like I believe J.Lo is a size 6: http://www.usmagazine.com/stylebeauty/news/victoria-beckham-jennifer-lop...
seriously it was only two living and breathing human beings, who are apparently "royalty"
well tell me, if they were sooo high and mighty and better than all of us, if i shoved a traffic cone "move that over im lindsay lohan" up their asses, will their anuses get dilated??
if i cut them with a knife, do they bleed? yes.
so, they arent any different to us, just like celebrities.
i dont understand people who cream their panties when they see some random celeb in the street or go gaga at the royal family, i prefer to point at them and make fun.
I dislike J.Lo but I fucking LOATHE that imperious, frozen-faced, crooked-mouth cunt MLP. So, so, so conflicted. OK, my overwhelming hatred of MLP cannot be conquered. J.Lo wins by default.
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If love had a dick I would eff with it. But it doesn't (it has a no crotch like Barbie).
Submitted by saltydog88 on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 10:18am.
She should have had her kid murder J.Lo with a croquet mallet
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LOL! That is awesome! Love Weeds.
*draws mouth on hand with lipstick*
"Taco keesses for mah Beeeenn"
I like MLP, but she's too thin to tangle with JLo. She'd get knocked down just from the wind from one of her big ass farts. Taco flavored farts. (love that South Park episode.) And JNo needs to put on a whole dress to meet royalty next time. This ain't cocktail time at the Playboy mansion, hooker.
I totally believe MLP. She is a cool lady.
HENNIFER LOPEZ IS A CUNT and her success is thrown into my box of overwhelming proof that karma doesn't exist (it's full of dicks, too...).
Despite what hopeful people think and their reassurance to each other that the opposite is true, I've found that the meanest, nastiest, most selfish people are the ones who succeed and come out ahead. They haven't any regard for anyone else, and detest those who show that weakness. They don't have the ability to feel lonely b/c all they need is themselves to feel fulfilled.
Fuck her and I'm glad MLP spoke up! HAH!!!!!!
Well, usually the mean selfish people who get ahead professionally have terrible personal lives. 1st of all, it has just been reported that Marc Anthony and J. Lo split though I believe the worst for her was losing Ben AffleK-he was a handsome educated Oscar winner with no baby mamas. A little happiness and it was soon dashed.
Many of the mean people I know are divorced or had major relationships that have failed in a spectactularly painful way, and/or ugly, and/or have children that dont respect them more than they respect the local prostitutes.
Remember in the 90's when people said "hey, its the 90s right?"
I loved that she said this! I don't care that she's a bitch (I don't know if she is but it's what some people here seem to be saying) I just hate Jell-Ho that much.
Not surprised. J-Blow seems like the type who would slash someone's throat for the limelight.
J-Ho's such a fucking self-important bore. Every time I hear a story like this I can't help but wonder htf she's still around. Too bad MLP didn't Wayne Brady her ass.
Submitted by Juniperjump on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 10:57am.
The thing that I don't understand about J-Lo is that you hear all these stories about her - her entourage, her demands, her attitude and they seem reasonable enough. And then I'll see her on a chat show where she always comes across as genuinely nice, likeable, and totally non-divaish. So what gives? She's not THAT good an actress.
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It's all for show...a coworker of mine was in the receiving end of one her tantrums and classless behavior. So many people can't be wrong about this man-stealing bitch.
"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated" - Father Andrés
"A hole's a hole as long as there's a little heat in there." - suckandfuck
"The dudes look plucked and pampered while the chicks l
JLo is trash and no longer relevant, stf down bitch.
__________________________________
Please get the fuck out ---->
I love MLP and she should have kicked JHo's fat ass….
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Submitted by TexnDoc on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 12:43pm.
We'll always have Trey Parker's "Taco Flavored Kisses".
That one will always be in the top 10 craziest South Park episodes.
I have a hunger only tacos can stop! Fulfill all my weeshes w/my taco flavored keeses. Spicier!
"Satchels of Gold."
We'll always have Trey Parker's "Taco Flavored Kisses". And the video of her bouncing on her ass at the awards show and looking fit to kill leaving the stage. Let baby meet the Queen first.
"Isn't Mary a bitch too? So Jlo just out bitched her."
Even if she is, at least she's a talented actress who brings something to the table.
Sarah Smile
Isn't Mary a bitch too? So Jlo just out bitched her. Not that am a fan of Jlo I always thought she was a fake bitch just like Gaga, Kardashians, Paris etc., They all smile in your face but you know a stuck up bitch when you see one.
I still don't get why she was there.... it's not like she's British or anything...wasn't it for British actors working in the states??
puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
moosh
http://teacupsandcouture.com
Surprising no one, the harpie who fame-fucked her way to the top of the musky 90's heap then cheated on her fiance with a married man with children has now elbowed someone out of the way to meet royalty so she could pose-whore in her tacky Frederick's dress off the sidewalk-sale rack.
That fatass would elbow you outta the way to get the first gordita from a table FULL of gorditas. It's WHO SHE IS.
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
MLP is no saint, herself. She was an A number 1 cunt when she was doing Proof on Broadway. If anyone dared to move in the audience, she'd throw a hissy fit backstage. She even wanted the producers to NOT sell tickets in the first row so that people fidgeting in their seats wouldn't distract her. Needless to say, the entire staff threw a party the day that cunt left the show.
You make me hate my hips! I hate my hips!
This is typical JHO Bag behavior. Thinking she's all that, but she's uneducated, untalented trash. She can't sing, act, dance, design clothes or raise kids. She IS a horrid vile pig. Her obnoxious behavior and diva antics are well documented and all true. Why won't she go away already!
She Stinks!
Mary Louis Parker I LOVE you! It was about time that puta was called out; I was born and raised in the same exact neighborhood as her, and NO ONE in the Bronx has any love for J WHORE.
She even refused to help her old private elementary school, which is one of the very few good schools in the area, from going down the crapper because ppl cant afford to pay any type of tuition IN THIS ECONOMY. Shes such an asshole.
Lopez has the class of a rat on a sinking ship....
The thing that I don't understand about J-Lo is that you hear all these stories about her - her entourage, her demands, her attitude and they seem reasonable enough. And then I'll see her on a chat show where she always comes across as genuinely nice, likeable, and totally non-divaish. So what gives? She's not THAT good an actress.
JLooowww is ghetto to the core and so full of herself it is painful..who dresses like a hootch to meet royalty??? No Nacy Botwin, you were right, she is a major cunt that needs to brought down 500 notches or more.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 9:53am.
I'd like to have heard that conversation:
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lmaoffff....*punches Kate in the ribs*
Stop the drama MLP! This bitch brought her dog into the "store where I work" in NYC and the pooch shit on the floor...while I cleaned it up, she ignored me & kept sampling lotions & fragrances! I never got a "thank-you" or even "fuck you!" No pity from me!
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"Michael K is my muse!" Tom Ford
She should have had her kid murder J.Lo with a croquet mallet
why was she invited and why did she bring her ghetto ass mother that busted her ass on the red carpet (she didn't even help her up might i add)
JLO has learned from Marc, but not even Marc is such a pretentious piece of shit like her, she needs to die
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http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy
I'd like to have heard that conversation:
Kate: So veddy nice to meet you, Miss Lopez.
William: "Yes..ahhh..emmm..dadjorekhaibgur rhubarbrhubarbrhubarb" (unintellible); *clearing throat* *nervously rubbing his palms together* *breaking out in mottled rash on face*
JLo: "Yeah, yeah! Very cool! Hey Duchess, those pantyhose you're wearing, are they control-top? HA! Kidding! *punches Kate in the ribs* You're a size zero right? Amazing! Hey, just between us, does my ass look big in this dress?"
I really loathe her. (JLo. Not Kate.)
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I could see this igniting a Twitter war of epic proportions.
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
JLO needs a serious beatdown. She is pure trash. She was fading into oblivion and suddenly PEOPLE names her the most Beautiful Piece of Garbage in the Universe and she gets that Idol gig. She must have a pact with the debbil.
LOVE mlp!
I expect this kind of behavior from trash like jlo. what can you do?
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"Wrist full of colorful rubberbands!" - album reviewer extraordinaire Khia
quite fittingly...
http://j.mp/f89sny
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Fri, 07/15/2011 - 9:25am.
Despite what hopeful people think and their reassurance to each other that the opposite is true, I've found that the meanest, nastiest, most selfish people are the ones who succeed and come out ahead. They haven't any regard for anyone else, and detest those who show that weakness.
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*super sad face*
I wish what you said wasnt the 100% truth. Besides the fact that people misunderstand what karma actually is, its totally what people tell themselves to feel better about how the people you described never get whats due them.
JLog can put on as much make-up as she wants and put on the sluttiest dress she can find from the local ghetto Sally Ann and she still will never be as pretty as MLP
Mary-Louise Parker is the epitome of the girl next door pretty.
This season of Weeds is going to be incredible. I love MLP.
As for Jenny she can take her tacky shoes, her insipid lyrics, and her sad sad attempt for relevance burn it into a greasy botox like chemical and inject it in her Sandy Johnson. She has bored me into derision.
Love Po-Stop
She could have used her huge ass to clear the entire room if she wanted to.
That dress came from the tranny store Foxy Lady in S.F. I bet she picked up a confederate blue cap while she was there, she seems just that stupid. Why did Hollywoodland resurrect her defunct career? Because it idolizes mediocrity and rewards the inane. And she is both of those, in spades.
" A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal. "
Oscar Wilde
Ugh! I just can't with this bitch.
********* SAVE A LIFE. ADOPT A PET *********
jennifer lopez, the talentless wonder strikes again by getting her big arse into the spotlight for no deserving reason.
--thanks awfully--