Rachel Uchitel's Fame Whore Ways Cost Her $10 Million
Rachel Uchitel's whore mouth is what got her $10 million from Tiger Woods in the first place, and now that same whore mouth has cost her most of that money. Tiger Woods reportedly stuffed a $10 million hush money check between Rachel Uchitel's overstuffed dolphin dick lips after she signed a confidentiality agreement promising to keep his name off of her tongue for the rest of her life. Any smart gold digger would've immediately glamored Tiger Woods' name from her brain, because $10 million can buy a lot of lip injections and horse mane weaves. Rachel Uchitel is not a smart gold digger. Bitch is as dumb as she is Equus faced.
Rachel broke the agreement when she went on Celebrity Rehab for a "love addiction" and vaguely talked about Tiger to TMZ. Tiger's lawyer Jay Lavely accused Rachel of breaking the agreement and ordered her to give all of the money back.
TMZ reports that Rachel's lawyer Gloria Allred advised her to give whatever is left of the $10 million back to Tiger, because they'd lose in court. Rachel agreed, but one thing Cuchitel didn't know is that Gloria made a deal with Jay that she would still collect all of her attorney fees from the $10 million. If they went to arbitration and lost, Rachel would not have to pay Gloria a cent. So Rachel thinks that Gloria forced her to give back the money so the bitch could get paid. Rachel has now hired a malpractice lawyer to get those fees back from Gloria. Gloria issued this statement to TMZ:
"Our law firm no longer represents Ms. Uchitel and we have no comment on this story at this time. However, we are confident that we have always acted appropriately and in her best interests."
Gloria fucked that $10 million out of Rachel just like Rachel fucked that $10 million out of Tiger. I should laugh, but I'm too busy being disgusted and disappointed at Rachel. Rachel is a shit-skinned, anus-mouthed, piss-brained piece of Mr. Ed's caca who gives all conniving gold digging sluts a bad name! What kind of gold digger screws with the $10 million in her pocket by breaking an agreement? What kind of gold digger puts that $10 million in a domestic checking account instead of hiding it in a shoe box far, far away? What kind of gold digger tells Tiger's lawyer that she still has the money instead of saying the words I said when my third grade teacher asked me what I did with the candy I took from my classmate's desk: "I ATE IT, BITCH!"
If I had any respect for Rachel to begin with, she would've lost it over this dumb dumb move.
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Well she will get paid a ton to spill the beans now that she can.
Dumbest bitch in the world!!!! Had $10,000,000 in hand, in her hand and lost it cause she can't keep her trap shut.
allred may be unethical overall, but she did her job. there's no reason she should have to lose her fee just because her client was too dumb to take good advice. doctors still get paid even if their patients continue to smoke.
lawyers aren't born rich, you ninnies. they work for their money and deserve to get paid.
I think she couldn't stand being out of the spotlight, even to the point where she fucked herself over. Dlisters are sluts but not famewhores so we'd have kept that money.
what a dumb bitch. seriously the gold digger university needs to teach its students some other skills beside open legs, take the money.
For example, investing is a good skill to learn.
This bitch wouldn't have to work a day in her life again if she learnt that she can put her money in term deposits with high interest rates of 7.40% per annum, even if she puts in $9 million, thats $666,000 per annum!!! WITHOUT LIFTING A FINGER or opening your legs or getting on your knees or swallowing.
and thats in bank deposits, which are safe, if she decides to invests in a diversified portfolio, she would rake in 14% returns pa, thats $1.26 million a year.
sigh and she would have been paid like $100,000 probably to go on that celeb rehab show and lost $10 million as a result of her stupidity.
She'll go after David Boreanaz next. I can't stand this dumb bitch.
Thats the problem with whores. They always their mouths open. What a scrape.
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Go Lakers!!!
Just let the lawyers beat the shit out of each other for the money...money grabbing hoes.
She probably only got a couple of hundred thousand for Rehab of the Dodo's, so she failed epically as a gold digger. I'm really happy she's that stupid. Gloria's a class A shark so she wasn't going to lose a dime of the money she negotiated for, and why should she? It's not her fault the client is a moron.
Well guess I'm the dumb ho today. I thought this hor was tiger's ex wife. Never occurred to me his sperm dumbsters were getting multi-million dollar settlements.
what a fucking dumb bitch and I must say,I don't blame Allred,she took care of herself because she probably knew the dumb ho would fuck it up….
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
If she had gone to Dr. Michael K's Gold Diggers University, this shit never would have happened. A gold digger gene is a terrible thing to waste.
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If love had a dick I would eff with it. But it doesn't (it has a no crotch like Barbie).
How the hell dumb is this bitch!?? ROTFLMATFOOOO NO, SHE DID NOT GET OUT-SLUTTED? SHE DID!! OMG LOL
TEAM BRAINS AND ZIPPED-MOUTHS AND STUFF
Karma, fuckers, karma.
I'm tempted to ignore this post but the anatine lipped slore obviously has one talent - the ability to give killer blowies.
Credit where it's due.
Not a brain in her horsey head, and not a gag reflex in her equine neck.
*sends whore a new pair of kneepads so she can get some work*
I smell a book in the works.
(973) Jersey Strong
Ugh, and to think that I met this trick during the winter of 2009 (pre scandal). The funniest thing is that we were both in our bras/panties. We have a common friend and I remember thinking to myself that my friend must be really stupid to hang out with such a gold digger. Oh boy I was right about that!!
there are no victims! these people should all be put into a giant blender and made into pig chow.
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Submitted by SpiceDong on Mon, 07/18/2011 - 1:47pm.
ROFL
Too funny...take that fucking big-mouthed WHORE!
IF Gloria gets fucked too, that will be the icing on the cake...that weasely bitch should be disbarred.
Hey Spicedong, who you callin' a weasely bitch! (gets my super musk power ready to stink SpiceDong...then realizes SpiceDong talking about Alred, not dlisted weasles.
Carry on Spicedong. (Alred is NO Weasel. She's not that talented.)
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
Kitler
"Money can't buy you a fucking BraiAAn"
The Cuntess
It looks like Rachel is wearing Gloria on her arm like a ventriloquist puppet!
ROFL
Too funny...take that fucking big-mouthed WHORE!
IF Gloria gets fucked too, that will be the icing on the cake...that weasely bitch should be disbarred.
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"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated" - Father Andrés
"A hole's a hole as long as there's a little heat in there." - suckandfuck
"The dudes look plucked and pampered while the chicks l
If she has to give all the money back now what what stop her from telling all Tiger's dirty secrets he didn't want anyone to know? This woman will probably write some book and get rich off of it so she'll never hungry.
Stupid, greedy slut. A dumb slut and a lawyered slut, feeding off the rich and careless. Rachel is a major dumb ass, and Gloria Allred is a whore lawyer. Lovely twosome.
Let's see... disgusting slutty famewhore rachel ugh-itel has to give back the money she was paid to keep quiet her fucking of a married man. And worse disgusting famewhore WHOREia allred is being sued by a client & could lose her license over it. I'd say this qualifies as the story of the year so far...
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"There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
What comes around goes around.....
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 07/18/2011 - 12:57pm.
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 07/18/2011 - 12:15pm.
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OK, was the chicken driving the train GETTING a blowjob? if so that a trick question you sneaky bitch!
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KEEP FUCKING THAT CHICKEN!! Hahaha
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 07/18/2011 - 12:15pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 07/18/2011 - 11:18am.
Let's see $200.00/BJ (only because she a Celeb fucker) add $ 50.00 for the ducklipped premium upgrade. That's $250/BJ divided by 10,000,000 is 40,000 BJs @ 20 BJ per day = 2,000 days @ 365 days a year....that means she'll make the 10mill back in 5.48years,
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HAHAHA!! That made my head hurt. Incidentally, if a train traveling west at 40mph left the station at 2:47pm, how long would it take for a chicken to cross the road? :)
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There was no road, the chicken was driving the train and getting a blowjob, trick question, nice try!
Granted - my first inclination was to cover my retinas when I saw Allred's picture - but - I've got to hand it to her, she paid attention during the "how to bill your clients without them knowing it" portion of her law classes. I'll give her this one! Smooches Gloria!
$10 million one day; memories of a stain on your sofa the next.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Mon, 07/18/2011 - 12:00pm.
Her fuck game must be OUT OF THIS WORLD for people to PAY to have sex with her. Look at that mug, for fuck's sake!
I think it's more that she's willing to do whatever for her "fee".
Some seek "professional services" often for the ability to treat a person like a piece of meat, or the ability to act out their wildest, sickest fantasies.
AHAHAHAHA what a stupid slore.
the only thing that makes me sad about this is that all these fucktards have $10 million to throw around.
This hobag skeeves me out with her duck lips and her fug sunglasses. Her 15 minutes were up, like, yesterday.
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
See now, this is a battle of two whores: the kind that hold a law degree with zero professional ethics; and the kind that parades around like a grief stricken lady who fell onto a golf pro. The victim here, as I see it, was the wife who did (presumably, because she isn't a fame whore) get her financial settlement. Now she has to move/hide/protect her children from the legal/media PACKS of wolves who would like to know every single financial/romantic/parenting detail of her life.
Alred and UcantellImaslut are left to duke it out legally. I hope Harvey Levin has his Detective LaToya hat on; and not his brown nose lawyers stick together due to payola hat on. You feel me, disters?
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
Aw poor booboo baby! Did the stoopit whore forget to keep her fucking mouth shut again? DUH!
That's what happens when name dropping is your second favourite sport.
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Haha, in my opinion, Gloria Alred deserves her fee. She got the bitch that money and probably schooled her on keeping her mouth shut. But she knew her client was a dumbfuck so she made sure to create a caveat in case Rachel fucked up. Which she did. Sorry slut, but Gloria's still getting her money! All in an honest day's work.
And yeah, Gloria's a sleaze but she serves a purpose. Where would all the hos be without her?
*high fives Elin* Nice to see Karma finally coming around.
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 07/18/2011 - 12:15pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 07/18/2011 - 11:18am.
Let's see $200.00/BJ (only because she a Celeb fucker) add $ 50.00 for the ducklipped premium upgrade. That's $250/BJ divided by 10,000,000 is 40,000 BJs @ 20 BJ per day = 2,000 days @ 365 days a year....that means she'll make the 10mill back in 5.48years,
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HAHAHA!! That made my head hurt. Incidentally, if a train traveling west at 40mph left the station at 2:47pm, how long would it take for a chicken to cross the road? :)
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I popped a couple of hydrocodones this morning... in related news, I had to read both of these multiple times while wiping drool off my chin and... shit, I had a point to this I know.
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Anyone can get screwed, its not rocket science.
Submitted by kate773 on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 11:06am.
Submitted by zachhcaz on Mon, 07/18/2011 - 12:20pm.
Christ on a cracker, how stupid can one be? For $10M, I'd have my lips sewn shut like Jack Skellington and take butter pecan Ensure through my b-hole with a Silly Straw.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA well my goodness!!
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Anyone can get screwed, its not rocket science.
Submitted by kate773 on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 11:06am.
Whamo, honey, you know me so well already.
Speaking of fame whores, Bristol Palin already has a new reality show out:
http://www.mediaite.com/tv/bristol-palin-to-star-in-a-reality-show-with-...
Pimpin' her mom for President and her new plastic face, I guess.
Christ on a cracker, how stupid can one be? For $10M, I'd have my lips sewn shut like Jack Skellington and take butter pecan Ensure through my b-hole with a Silly Straw.
I always get this scab confused with Eliot Spitzer's whore.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 07/18/2011 - 11:18am.
Let's see $200.00/BJ (only because she a Celeb fucker) add $ 50.00 for the ducklipped premium upgrade. That's $250/BJ divided by 10,000,000 is 40,000 BJs @ 20 BJ per day = 2,000 days @ 365 days a year....that means she'll make the 10mill back in 5.48years,
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HAHAHA!! That made my head hurt. Incidentally, if a train traveling west at 40mph left the station at 2:47pm, how long would it take for a chicken to cross the road? :)
Submitted by elanenergy: "...I hate on both Uchitel and Allred almost equally and so I hope this turns into a NANCY GRACE court trial of epic magnitude.
These two professionals liars deserve to entertain us. Slut Uchitel is obviously as dumb as she is diseased."
Agree 100%.
lol this bitch will always have to wear sunglasses to hide those DERP eyes.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
A Ha ha ha aha ah ahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhah! SO FUNNY. Karma.
POOOHTEEEE!
I love it! What a bigmouthed stupid whore. And Yuck-iwhatever is one as well...
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"There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
She'll see more seaman than the navy at this rate!
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 07/18/2011 - 11:18am.
Let's see $200.00/BJ (only because she a Celeb fucker) add $ 50.00 for the ducklipped premium upgrade. That's $250/BJ divided by 10,000,000 is 40,000 BJs @ 20 BJ per day = 2,000 days @ 365 days a year....that means she'll make the 10mill back in 5.48years,
--thanks awfully--
The gif of that horsey-looking-fellow saying "you are so dumb" would be most appropriate about now MK, get to it love!
I can imagine Tiger's lawyers just sat there watching her every media appearance with "gotcha bitch!" on the tip of their tongues until she spilled the rather rancid beans.
Now, she's lost $10m because she couldn't keep her mouth shut. But, with her breaching the contract and giving the cash back.. is she now free to talk? Why can't you have a side piece without lawyers and fucking worrying about these skanks selling stories to the tabloids and having to pay them off!
--thanks awfully--