Wake Up, The Party's Here!
Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis are whoring themselves hard for that crap Friends with Benefits movie like everyone's rent is due and everyone's landlord is knocking on the door while his wife is downstairs so a bitch can't crawl down the fire escape. Justin and Mila have given interviews to everybody, sold pieces of their soul and even brought the Marines into it in order to make sure that hos pay $13 to see them have fake sex. And in a last-minute attempt to sell their movie, Justin and Mila pulled out the bright big superstar gun that is JOYCE FUCKING DEWITT! Come on knock on our dooooor, because I WILL take a step that is new!
Miss Joyce came to party as though someone just yelled LAST CALL at the Regal Beagle. Miss Joyce flexed those rock hard neck veins like she's been using Suzanne Somers' VeinMaster for months and can't wait to show her results. Miss Joyce let the blood from her face drain into her hips since that's where the real party will come from when she swishes her shit on Justin on the dance floor at the after-party. Miss Joyce's eyes might look like they're screaming "Did somebody say coke?" but they're really saying "Sexy is officially back!" And Crest Whitestrip sales plummeted into the dirt seconds after Miss Joyce did the cokey grit grin and showed off her I Can't Believe It's Not Butter teeth.
Kris Jenner can pull up her face as much as possible, but she'll never look as shiny beautiful as this. Kris needs to make like Miss Joyce's right nostril and BE GONE!
You probably don't care since you're obviously just here for Miss Joyce, but here's a bunch of others who showed up to last night's NYC premiere of Friends with Medicare. In order: The true star of the night, Justin Timberlake, Mila Kunis, Emma Stoner, Irina Shayk, Patricia Clarkson (who is obviously too much woman for JT), Michael Bolton and Fu Manwhite.
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You know this is a real Oscar contender when the likes of Michael Bolton and the chick that fucks on Ronaldo are the "stars" walking the red carpet.
Poor Patrcia Clarkson. How did she end up in this mess?
What the heck is the mask aka sean white doing there? We should not being hearing about that fuck until 2014. I can't rag on Joyce for having yellow teeth since Three's Company is funny as shit.
Mila looks beat, maybe coked-out. Michael Bolton: A-list (in 1987). Shawn White: Hollywood leech.
lmao at "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter teeth." Hahaha!
Why would Mila Kunis be so desperate? She was just in a Big Oscar-winning flick. But the corn row is pretty weak.
.
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Timberdouche trying to act is like when Michael Jordan played baseball. Listen, fucker, you're someone who is actually pretty gifted at something, why don't you do THAT instead of continually abusing our senses with your "acting".
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
Mila is very pretty and seems cool
I think Mila is so beautiful and I was pissed that pretentious twat Natalie Portman got the Oscar for Black Swan when it was Mila who was the true star of the movie.
Hahaha! The look on her face is like the same look I make after a couple of mixed margaritas. GIT IT, Joyce! ; )
"I make myself sick, Get on my own nerves. Immature, insecure,Grown up nerd."
-Fat lip (The Pharcyde)
Mila is my girl crush. She's awesome, gorgeous, funny, and versatile playing different characters. I really like her.
Sean White is truly horrifying. He looks like something that crawled out of a bad early 70s porn film.
I don't really know what you said, I think it's something about Joyce Dewitt.
"Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:30am.
Yeah, but I'd consider JT and definate upgrade from Mackully Culkin (sp?)"
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Yeah I never really understood that pairing either. But I get the feeling that McCauley is infinitely less douchey than JT.
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"I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done." -Lucille Ball-sy
Yum, that Emma Stone looks like a 39-year-old bag lady given a rigorous spongebath and a menstrual-flow inspired frock! Just my type.
Sean White needs euthanized.
I don't ever really post but that picture of Timberdouche-shit really made me lose my lunch. He is such a shitty diarrhea ass actor and that face is intolerable and extremely punchable.
Mila Kunis has severe eyebrow issues here. Why is she wearing her mom's heels with that unflattering dress?
Also Patricia Clarkson looks like absolute shit (or an albino real housewife of orange county).
PS - I love you Joyce...
Kelly Taylor: Well we all have our crosses to bear.
Brenda Walsh: Or our legs to uncross.
-----episode 3.14 "Wild Horses," Beverly Hills 90210
OMG this post is Highlarious, in every way. (Come and knock on our door, we've been waiting for you.....
Three's Company. And YES, Kris Jenner is channeling Joyce DeWitt, who really does look mildly deranged.
And the winning quip from MK: Friends with Medicare. (That's WIN).
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
Cindy the klutz cousin replaced SS when she got greedy with the execs.
I hated Cindy.
Suzanne Somers is FILTHY RICH off the money she made with the thighmaster, and books. She also has skin care lines, etc.
She was the only Chrissy. Her cousin Cindy moved in, when Chrissy went back to Texas. yes, I have a scary memory for stupid things that don't matter. :)
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At long last love has arrived,and I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true,
I can't take my eyes off of you
-Frankie Valli
note to patricia- dark lipstick (especially matte) looks vile on thin lips.
Submitted by ditquoi on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:51am.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:46am.
dude, Suzanne Somers isn't dead, and I don't think the original Chrissy or whoever she was is dead either.
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I am pretty sure Suzanne is the original Chrissy on TC. There were two or three people who took her place when she left the show, but they didn't play Chrissy, just a relative or new roomate.
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
Submitted by ditquoi on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:51am.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:46am.
dude, Suzanne Somers isn't dead
my bad. Maybe I was thinking about her acting career. She pays her bills now from those mentalpause books.
Poor Poor Joyce Dewitt.. can't afford to have her teefs whitened.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:46am.
dude, Suzanne Somers isn't dead, and I don't think the original Chrissy or whoever she was is dead either.
oh wait it's the red and pink dress girl who has filled what would have been Lindsay Lohan's shoes in the pantheon of starlets?
not if she keeps wearing getups like that...BARF!
When I was growing up, I remember going to church one day and I spotted a lady wearing a pink and red dress. I was a kid, but I remember making a mental note to myself to NEVER wear those two colors together because she looked shiteous.
Then, there was one year where they tried to make red and pink happen...it was ok for a hot second, and then everyone took a look in the mirror at their fugly outfits and said "jeez I need to lay off the crack...what was I thinking wearing this outside"?
red and pink are not the look...EVER.
I refuse to accept Justin Timberlake as a film star. It's the reason I never yet have watched that Facebook movie whatever it was.
Three's Company always had the same gag - Jack and Chrissie hanging a shower curtain and Janet hearing their conversation thinking it's about Chrissie playing with Jack's peen. SO she always had that "Janet Face".
Submitted by mike on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:40am.
http://fuckyeahthreescompany.tumblr.com/
awesome...thanks!!
Hey everybody on that show is dead except for Janet and Larry.
I actually prefer JT's acting to his singing & dancine. I thought he was slightly funny in SNL and is an OK actor. I suppose I have a soft spot for those who can make fun of themselves. I do not find him attractive at all.
*ducks and runs off*
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So bring it on, sister. I will verbally walk all over you ass and ride you around this motherfucking site like my own personal bitch-tricycle - Submitted by urmomma on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 6:15pm
ewww that blood clot dress that Lindsay Jr. is wearing.
pssst Janet... crest whitestrips. give em a whirl.
I would have picked a different dress for Mila...this one flattens her boobs and accentuates her belly pooch which is the opposite of what a dress is supposed to do...but she is beautiful.
Is Joyce going for the Snow White 30 years later after Prince Charming divorced her for Princess Fuckalot look? I don't care for it...black hair + black clothes + pale skin = too much black. and yes I agree Crest White Strips aren't that expensive or that much trouble...pop one in on the cab ride over to the premiere, Joyce. you're welcome.
Timberdouche needs to raise the inseam about 1/4 inch...it's too baggy around the ankles...and other than the space cadet eyes in thumb 5 he looks good.
Shawn White may look like a magician but you can't deny that luxurious mane of auburn locks. :D
http://fuckyeahthreescompany.tumblr.com/
Shawn White makes me stabby (in interweb parlance).
Submitted by tonicbitch on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:29am.
I hope Mila's not boning JT, she can do so much better.
In a world of fake tits, fake skin, fake hair, horsey day-glo veneers and plastic implanted faces that don't move, I find the butter teefs rather refreshing.
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Yeah, but I'd consider JT and definate upgrade from Mackully Culkin (sp?)
I recently got three free movie tickets after a power outage in my city stopped the movie I was watching and yet I have no desire to use those tickets to watch this crappy movie. I will save those tickets for something worthy.
I hope Mila's not boning JT, she can do so much better.
In a world of fake tits, fake skin, fake hair, horsey day-glo veneers and plastic implanted faces that don't move, I find the butter teefs rather refreshing.
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"I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done." -Lucille Ball-sy
Submitted by TOPANGA on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:09am.
I really wish Justin Timberlake would stop trying to make "Justin Timberlake, the 'actor' " happen. Stick to what you do best, singing in an annoying falsetto and making guest appearances on SNL.
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Yes, this right here ^^^^. Of course, his generation will support this crap enough to give him false hope that he's on his way to big time movie stardom and A list status. But him and Mila doing it for real? In your dreams. The girl's been building a good resume with "The Book of Eli" and "Black Swan," it'd be a doofus move to become an item with this trick. I hope she's got more sense than ScarJo, better taste anyway.
Leave this dude so he can continue on the John Travolta/Steve Martin route, where every movie he does has at least one scene where he's dancing.
Joyce DeWitt needs to replace Kris "Pimp Mamma" Jenner and take over the E channel...much much hotter than that fucking control freak...also, Mila seems genuine and just plain gorgeous...hope she keeps it real and doesn't become a diva...
Crikey - I thought that snowboard guy was Rebekah Brooks (in need of a stache wax).
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snark is good.
P. Clak (I'm making it happen) is looking smashing as always, fucking love her
@M.E.
She's the current SI swimsuit issue cover "model" (nothing special looks-wise IMHO) Irina Shayk, whore's dating Ronaldo as well.
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Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing. I see him starring at me, I see what he wants be
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>:- (
Mr. Mercury ♥
Shawn White looks like the bastard child of James Hetfield(circa 1980's) & Carrot Top. And that mustache is gross.
Mila had a subtle nose job a few years back. She was pretty before, but now she is just stunning. Gorgeous.
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At long last love has arrived,and I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true,
I can't take my eyes off of you
-Frankie Valli
Submitted by TOPANGA on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:09am.
I really wish Justin Timberlake would stop trying to make "Justin Timberlake, the 'actor' " happen. Stick to what you do best, singing in an annoying falsetto and making guest appearances on SNL. I can't believe this movie isn't headde straight for the 5 dollar bin at Wal-Mart. Aside from it being a predictable idiotic movie about friends who "hook up for fun" and will eventually end up together at the end of the film (spoiler alert!) it just looks plain un-funny. Seriously, if you pay 13 bucks to go see this mess, that says more about you than this awful movie.
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Seriously, didn't they just do this EXACT same movie with Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher a few months ago? So goddamn predictable.
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
Mila is so smokin hot! Patricia is sexy for the older woman thing and talented to boot , Joyce looks OK, but I'm with Jack on the cover those nasty flapping arms.
Emma looks edible and with all his money can't that Snowborder dude do something with his look.
I mean he's dog's ass ugly to start with never mind wearing a dog's ass stache to show the world he can actually be dog ass uglier than the ugliness we already see him as. Did I mention he was UGLY?
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:06am.
Axe is a sponsor. "Nuff" said.
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OHHHH...lol...that explains why Shawn White is there then. He looks like he drinks Axe. LOL Actually he's channeling that magician guy from the 70's-80's with the hair and stache...Doug Henning.
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"If when you die you get a choice between pie heaven and regular heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick but if not mmmboy!"
Who's the slut in the black dress? NOT JANET! The other bitch.
I really wish Justin Timberlake would stop trying to make "Justin Timberlake, the 'actor' " happen. Stick to what you do best, singing in an annoying falsetto and making guest appearances on SNL. I can't believe this movie isn't headde straight for the 5 dollar bin at Wal-Mart. Aside from it being a predictable idiotic movie about friends who "hook up for fun" and will eventually end up together at the end of the film (spoiler alert!) it just looks plain un-funny. Seriously, if you pay 13 bucks to go see this mess, that says more about you than this awful movie.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
Compared to "Chrissie", Joyce DeWitt is looking pretty damn good, although it's a shame about the demise of her nasal cartilage. Why is she at this event? Does she play the horny landlady with the flowing muumuu?
Axe is a sponsor. "Nuff" said.
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
Submitted by NovaNightly on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:03am.
That's not Cisco...I think it's that Olympic snowboarder dude. I don't remember his name...but yeah...that's him. Not sure why he's there either though...lol.
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ohhh shit that's Shawn White? No way. Show me the receipts, i.e., I demand to see his ballsack!
lol that mustache is doing him no favors.
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
Shawn White...that's his name! :)
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"If when you die you get a choice between pie heaven and regular heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick but if not mmmboy!"