Wednesday, July 20th 2011
Would You Hit It?
Here's Jesse Metcalfe of the new Dallas (that hurt to type) showing love for his piece by rolling around with her on a mound of grass, hobo skid marks, dog piss and crackhead saliva in Venice, CA yesterday afternoon. This goes without typing, but I'd hit it. Uniboob and all. Tits looking like a long loaf of warm focaccia bread. Just tell the waiter to leave the whole bottle of olive oil.
You'd hit on Jesse Calftits' two-eyed worm chichi too. We all would. Although, it would take a little brain power to solve the puzzle titled, "How do you titty fuck a Jesse Metcalfe?" That should be a challenge on Survivor.
WTF? Does he really not know how weird he looks?
Would I hit it? Yeah, sure, I mean why not? If it meant that he spent his money on me and bought me whatever I wanted, then yeah, I'd hit it, just like his Paris Hilton wannabe hooker gold-digger ho is doing. She doesn't care about him, she cares about his cash flow.
yeah I would ... so the line forms behind you?
Hell to the naw!
Those titty balls look defect!
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That side piece is just another reason i left L.A. Shitty extensions, a natural terror of food, no fashion sense beyond the Manson family and a cocktail party personality. Looks like a wanna be Eastern bloc model, like she's done soft core and is hoping this will be her big break. Whatever you do, don't Czech her teeth ;) Metcalfe is just like a crappy xerox of a hot guy. No substance, little self awareness, nothing distinctinctive or assured. Blech, that was a snapshot of their pathetic posing existences that I didn't need to see.
" A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal. "
Oscar Wilde
Yeah, I'd hit it with a cold mackerel from Pike Place Fish Market.
"There's a sucker born every minute."
I think he brings out the worst sentiments in people- okay, ME- because he is such an over-the-top narcissist. And so some in the audience- all right already- ME- get all reactionary and say, "You're not as hot as you believe. Take your rack, for example, the rack you are so famous for, your trademark. It is a turn-off."
I'd like to spend a moment dwelling on the Paris lookalike sidepiece.
What the fuck is she wearing? Betty Rubble's cast-offs? What in cavewoman hell is that dress supposed to be?
Yuck, I could never do a guy who got breast implants. It's just creepy and gross.
He must have done some seriously fucked up gym exercise.
I have never seen pecs like that before, and ive seen plenty of shirtless guys. but im not a perve.
even the weirdo tiny square chest, huge arms taylor lautner has a pec cleavage. he has a weirdo body too because dude focuses too much on the arms which is way too big and is disproportionate to the rest of his body.
actually the only other guy who has deformed pecs is jeremy piven, and i also put that down to doing the wrong body building exercises.
DIE SPAMMER DIE!
becky n sydney on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 9:57pm.
Hey Abby!
Hey back, beckster! =0)
You'll need to make it a bra that divides and separates. The unimoob is freakish. *Ugh*
Honestly! Those are the oddest...erm..."pectorals". :\ The poor guy looks so proud to take his top off like he's hot shit. Even though his nipples are pointing outwards, his cleavage is all migrated into one boobeh. YIKES
I think the manscaping fail is the most offensive. I absolutely loathe manscaping, somehow failing at facial hairy douchiness is even more repulsive than a meticulously carved beard and stache area.
I shudder to think of how he carved his pubes. All that comes to mind is, "Cha cha cha chia! Cha cha cha chia pet!"
Submitted by Abby Normal on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 9:49pm.
Hey Abby!
You'll need to make it a bra that divides and separates. The unimoob is freakish. *Ugh*
I think the manscaping fail is the most offensive. I absolutely loathe manscaping, somehow failing at facial hairy douchiness is even more repulsive than a meticulously carved beard and stache area.
becky n sydney on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 7:03pm.
Piggy snout, manscaping fail, creepy unimoob.
*hurk*
EXACTLY. My eyes went right to his TITS! LMAO
I was glad as I read down through the comments that I wasn't the only one noticing his hooters.
OY!
NO. WOULD NOT HIT IT!
I would knit a bra for it though.
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Dude has tits, hell no
Yes, I would hit it. I'd let him fuck me hard, fast and deep. Or, I'd fuck him hard, fast and deep. Whatever it takes.
Piggy snout, manscaping fail, creepy unimoob.
*hurk*
MOOOOBIES!!
It's too weird. It's like a guy but it's also like a girl. *runs and hides*
I require a man to have cleavage if they have moobs.
We need a moob reduction. Stat!
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Shiitake happens...
Nope. I can't explain it but his body just looks weird to me, top heavy and implant-like, not natural.
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Submitted by TyInTenn on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 4:32pm.
I'd hit a lot of things - but I wouldn't hit that - huh uh.
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Sounds like Meatloaf
I would hit an y thing for love, but I won't hit that.
That's one trashy looking side piece.
I'd hit a lot of things - but I wouldn't hit that - huh uh.
Seriously, what's with the uniboob? I've never seen that on a guy before. He's built like a bookshelf.
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"I'm just going to stop at the 24-hour donut shop and then go home."
"What are you depressed about? Or celebrating?"
MK has it right: you do NOT want to be lying in a Venice park. Somehow I think neither one of them is bothered by it.
I'm sorry but these reboot shows look like crap. The only one that's decent and surviving is Hawaii 5-0. I had to convince myself to watch after my father said no one could say Book em Dano like Jack Lord.
Dallas, Wonder Woman & Charlie Sheen's Angels look like crap.
Jesse is more of a soap opera actor like he started.
Was it ever revealed where he went to on DH?
I have his girlfriend's diet book: "The New Food Groups: Cocaine, Celery, Vodka, & Movie Producer Jizz"
Nope. Douche is a turnoff.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Shit, I was just thinking, what's the name for that? Then I read it: "uniboob". It's still minging, and no, I wouldn't hit it, even with your cock.
(kiss this)--------------------------->>> (_!_)
His tit area looks all wrong. When I was researching breast implants for a- um, friend- I saw what happens when there's an overdissection of the tissue under the skin, resulting in breasts that look fused together. That's what this looks like.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Mother fucking arrogant steroid-using douche!!!!!
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You're under arrest, sugar!
Moobs, schmoobs. Since I'd be hitting it from behind, he could have a Sigourney Weaver-style alien baby coming out the front for all I care.
put him in a wife beater and then I'd let him hit it hard
I have always thought of him as one of those people where he seems like he should be good looking, on paper he's got all the right parts, but for some reason he just isn't hot. Like Usher.
Still I would. The sunglasses give him the edge, and the grossness of those moobs is canceled out by those arms.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 2:07pm.
what's up with the Pink Manilishi with the Three Pronged Pussy in thumb 2.
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I think that's a coin receiver, like at a laundromat. Quarters only.
god no he is like one of the male version of parasite hilton
and maybe im dumb but his chest its so round and not well worked on it reminds me of this things http://onlymannequins.com/Photos/Form-Materials.jpg
or this one is better http://api.ning.com/files/MXoDA4AXbySLMb22pMdX0fwOf6rWh50Uy05IdZi209aW3q...
*tell em get in line and kiss your ass MUAH!*
Submitted by the original be... on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 2:43pm.
It's a uni-moob!
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lol indeed
Submitted by little_rascal on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 2:40pm.
NO WAY.
And something is seriously wrong with his chest area (thumb 14). Are those breast/pecs implants? Ewww.
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I was wondering if they were implants too. They're so unnatural looking. Like that grapefruit bulge that Posh had back in the day.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
It's a uni-moob!
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You made your bed; now you have to fuck me in it!
I would hit it after a few drinks. I like guys with some beef, but that ho needs to get himself to the gym and tighten up his chest area! He's the kind that you think is built until he takes off his shirt and you realize the fuckery that has occurred!
NO WAY.
And something is seriously wrong with his chest area (thumb 14). Are those breast/pecs implants? Ewww.
Did he used to take steroids, or does he have high estrogen levels??? Looks a lil gynemastibreasticle-ish to me (someone hit me w/ the real spelling).
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"Remember when action movies contained blood and boobs worth an R-rating? When action movies had real explosions and no CGI? When action movies starred real men and not Shia LaBeouf?" - Death Wish 'Cracked'
I don't know what is going on in that tittie/pectoral area, but as for the rest of him, yes. Yes I would. Over and over again. And then he could hit me. I like that he has beefed up, I just wish he didn't have that uni-boob thing going on, cause he is one fine looking man. And WTF is with that hooker he is with?
is this what happens when women get fake boobs...eventually do they get all wonky and the nipples start pointing in different directions like this guy? I've never seen a breast-implanted breast up close, just in porn.
Those are legit man boobs. I don't see annny muscle there. ICK!
I cannot get with a man who can wear my bra.
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Too bad she has NO clue how to hide the crazy and that shit backfired like creamed corn out the ass.-ISprainedMyUvula
Submitted by kieranx on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 2:03pm.
What a bore. if this was the best the Dallas reboot could get, it's already doomed. Big premiere audience, rapid, enormous drop-off.
it is sounding a lot like the Melrose Place reboot, non? :-P
really, it is rare that a remake surpasses the original. these screenwriters need to smoke some drugs or drop some peyote...whatever gets the creative juices flowing.