It's All Fun And Farts Until Somebody Gets Punched
Jack Vale's whole act is to annoy an eye roll out of strangers in public places by fake farting around them or talking G-rated Charlie Sheenese to them. On any given day, you can find Jack Vale making a staged fartney in the face of a woman on a scooter in an aisle at Target. That's his thing. Normally, the fartee responds by laughing and/or throwing Jack a "you cochino ass bitch" look. But shit got serious the other day when the fartee's old man defended his wife woman by laying two punches into Jack's face. You know, farts are always funny to me. Even fake ones. What's as equally as funny to me is a hillbilly Santa Claus jumping up from his motorized sleigh to whoop a trick with pepaw fists of fury! It's a win/win.
This is also a win because ole' dude magically jumps up from his scooter and starts walking. It's a miracle, pa! It's a miracle, pa! Who ever said farts don't do miracles was telling lies.
via Buzzfeed
• 
I absolutely LOVE fart jokes, but this guy deserved what he got. It was rude, and he could have picked other targets, not just people who are obviously physically challenged. Yeah, it's a joke, and yeah, hands to yourself, but what if it was your grandma and someone did that in her face, and she didn't know it was a pretend, oh so funny fart for a joke on some guy's little seen comedy hour? He did it several times, snarky asswipe.
I enjoyed seeing the comedian get punched. Didn't look like pops was going to miss any work if he had to spend a few days in lockup, so not much recourse.
My ex brother in law either could fart on command or he had a steady diet of garlic and onions, because he liked nothing more than to get you in the car and pound off a vomitatius fart.
Some dude put the fisticuffs on baron cohen, and that was also satisfying.
Submitted by Farty McAssface on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 10:28am.
Can we get back to the real issue here? Farts.
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*Farts in Farty's face and then runs*
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Please get the fuck out ---->
Can we get back to the real issue here? Farts.
This is my signature.
How is it legal for people to actual go in your home, without your permission? And the cops can't do anything about it? I thought that was like you know? Burglarly, or tresspassing or B and E you know? Or am I confused?
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Please get the fuck out ---->
Submitted by thegobbler on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 9:43am.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 9:36am.
i like the whole thing, but you really clinch it with the "FROSTINGVILLE,USA" thing!... it's just damn funny!!
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I'm moving there...actually I've been researching real estate law and there's an abandoned house Imma move in to. Oh, is it right next door to EC's? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!!! *pictures EC in hot pink t-shirt*
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LOL! I am gonna call the cops on you, squatter!
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
AND those fart sound effects are terrible. SO low budget-not realistic AT ALL. So disappointing. As Rusty's "farting preacher" link proved, better fart sound effects are available. Jussayin.
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"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 7:55am.
Oh yeah, he is so disabled he has to ride in a chair, BUT he can run after this kid, punch him and be a general asshole just fine WITHOUT the chair.
Just another white trash hillbilly on disability.
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I agree, like I said before, both douche bags need to have their asses handed to them, and personally, I would have kicked them both out, and if I was whomever was incharge, I would have pressed charges on both of them for disturbing the peace.
And what the fuck is with this shit? Feeding the trolls? I'm sorry, but everyone attacking this person whom they claim is so cray-cray are getting exactly what they deserve. If you think this person is so out of line, why continue acknowledging them? Mentally and rationally you are proving you are no better and your opinion is no more important then theirs. They cancel out. If you have reason then just shut the fuck up because I've seen insults that aren't to the supposed discussion FROM BOTH SIDES. So all OF YOU are showing your immaturity.
The Autistic thing, verses people who think people need to stop breeding after one kid... you gotta realize, not everyone has had to deal with Autism. Therefore they do not know. Alot of you wouldn't have known unless it happened to you. Be honest. Trust me, mental illness, chemical imbalances, mental disorders, disorders...etc. etc. whatever you wanna call it that deals with mental abnormality( term not insult)... still has a huge stigma attached, and JUST because we hear about it more and more doesn't mean the general public fully grasps what that means or intails. Trust me, I have a disorder that is getting more and more "popular", and it boils my blood everytime someone says, "Oh, thats just my OCD." I FUCKING HATE IT, because they have no idea just how truly Debilitating OCD can be, AND if thats not bad enough, I have people classifying me or giving me side eye when i tell them. But people don't understand, so they ASK QUESTIONS. And I think I saw a few people get up and arms about people asking questions. Don't discourage it. If someone asks questions, that means THEY WANT TO LEARN AND UNDERSTAND. And whats wrong with that? Why take it as an insult? You should be more insulted that they judge your child without knowing the FACTS....I swear some people are fucking bassawkwards. Defensive mechanisms are useless when you're not defending anything other than your own insecurities. Don't be defensive unless there is need to be. You only make things worse. Trust me, it took a long time for me to be okay with what I have to deal with. And I'm sure it comes from a place of love and protection, but really? Who the hell are you really protecting your child from over a board? You aren't. Your just letting your momma hen feathers get ruffled over someone you claim is so unstable and beneath you. Man, it's not worth it.
STOP FEEDING THE TROLLS... Though I do have to say, I don't completely disagree with everything they said. Though they did contradict themselves when they talked about not having insults, and then made several, and clearly this person has mentally issues of their own they need to have treated, or has some sort of chemical inbalanc, who the fuck types in "1337 H4x0rZ" letters and numbers and shit, still thinks they are above anything other than a fuckin lame ass script kid or mentally superior than anyone? I guess mentally superiority doesn't equate into mature superiority. No one is gonna win and nothing is gonna be accomplished at the end of the fucking day, just a fuck fest of obsurditity.
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Please get the fuck out ---->
Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 07/21/2011 - 6:30pm.
Okay fine, and I am so not starting an arguement, just let me fart in your face while you're helpless and get back to me.
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I think that was my favorite comment in the whole thread!
Here's what I am going to do, I am going to read up on how to be a Buddhist, and I am gonna pray to Buddha that he is going to reincarnate me so when I kill myself I can come back and be cool as
fuck like you.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 9:36am.
i like the whole thing, but you really clinch it with the "FROSTINGVILLE,USA" thing!... it's just damn funny!!
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I'm moving there...actually I've been researching real estate law and there's an abandoned house Imma move in to. Oh, is it right next door to EC's? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!!! *pictures EC in hot pink t-shirt*
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"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 9:36am.
Thanks ESE! *offers malted milk chocolate Uncle to ESE, with XTRA frosting on the side*
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 8:27am.
*smiles*...
i like the whole thing, but you really clinch it with the "FROSTINGVILLE,USA" thing!... it's just damn funny!!
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oh, and... *high fives jacko back*
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 9:02am.
Good god.
What would it take to get an IGNORE button on this blog??????????
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IKR? On regretsy, comments that get low ratings are hidden, I think it's the same on youtube. SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA...
"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
Curses are a waste of time, upper deckers on the other hand...
Submitted by Meatblocks on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:16pm.
suckandfuck and raul are like the goofus and gallant of sick humor.
the best.
┌_П┐(•_•)┌П┐__
I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
So this is for real? You people must be on SSI because I certainly have no time to fight on DL but again, please continue for my enjoyment.
This is my signature.
Good god.
What would it take to get an IGNORE button on this blog??????????
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Studies show that, over a five-year period, 61.7% of the fights on DL involve Pip. They're nourishment to her. If MK can't ban her, the single best thing is to ignore her: she'll wither.
Raul is rubber, you are glue, bounces off Raul and sticks to you!
Submitted by Meatblocks on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:16pm.
suckandfuck and raul are like the goofus and gallant of sick humor.
the best.
┌_П┐(•_•)┌П┐__
I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
Ah, Dlisted drama, how I've missed you.
Is this fight fake? It feels fake.
This is my signature.
ISMU, pathetic doesn't come close to describing this mess. Deplorable.
I find it giggle worthy that the word 'normal' was in her user name.
This is all pathetic and disgusting. Truly.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
LOL@Sucky!
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
LEAVE THIS REALM, SORCERER!!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
EC, i dont think we will see her as Abby Normal again, that alt has been banned..
only 500 more to go...
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
ABBEY NORMAL-
PLEASE DO NOT CURSE ME. I AM CURRENTLY VERY BUSY AND HAVE A FRIENDS DOG IN MY CARE IN ADDITION TO MY TWO DOGS AND CAT. I ALSO HAVE A SICK FRIEND COMING HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL TODAY WHO I AM TAKING CARE OF. PLEASE REFRAIN FROM ANY AND ALL CURSES YOU MAY WANT TO PLACE UPON ME AS I HAVE PEOPLE AND PETS DEPENDING ON ME FOR THE NEXT WEEK OR SO.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR TIME.
SINCERELY, EVIL_CUPCAKE
FROSTINGVILLE,USA
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
ABBEY NORMAL-
if you are placing curses PLEASE curse this infernal double posting I am doing, as it is driving me craaaaaaaazy!
Thanx!
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
LOL Stoney! I read this garbage at 4 a.m. fucking blew my SANE mind!
*visits voodoo doctor to reverse the curse*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
I am dead fucking serious. Read that shit this morning at like 5.30. Bitch had some shit upside down writing and shit, putting Morsecode curses on here.. full blown looney. Well, i emailed MK about it this morning and he said, she keeps coming back with IP masking software, although he keeps banning her...
So her claim : MK doesn`t ban me, he WANTS me here! is about as valid as her jacko-curse..
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
LMMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Anyone can get screwed, its not rocket science.
Submitted by kate773 on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 11:06am.
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 8:17am.
LOL!
You realize we are all going to be in the hospital next week!
*makes sure health insurance payments are current*
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
Doc: "Jacko, you seem to be having a little heart trouble. Do you have any stress in your life? Do you know what could have brought this on?"
Jacko: "Well, Dr., you see it's like this. I am part of this online community on the website dlisted.com. It's basically a celebrity gossip site where this really funny gay guy named Micheal K talks about people's junk and bowel movements and and camel toes and he makes up names for people like Prince Hot Ginge and Wonky McValtrex, well anyway....there's this one member who doesn't like me so much, and she is always creating these multiple identities, pip, fraggle, schlong, abby normal, anyway...she cursed me, so I think maybe that's why I'm here."
Doc: *blank stare*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 8:04am.
@Evil_Cupcake:
Did you read where she said she cursed Jacko and thats why he was in the hospital last week???
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hahahahahahaa!
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Anyone can get screwed, its not rocket science.
Submitted by kate773 on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 11:06am.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 8:04am.
@Evil_Cupcake:
Did you read where she said she cursed Jacko and thats why he was in the hospital last week??? Somebody really needs to up her meds...
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Are you serious? She is trying to claim that? I just can't!
WTF is wrong with people? I wonder if she cursed my friend who is in the hospital this week!?
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 8:04am.
NO WAY!!!!!!
*gasp*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
@Evil_Cupcake:
Did you read where she said she cursed Jacko and thats why he was in the hospital last week??? Somebody really needs to up her meds...
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
The old guy is so stupid that even after numerous attempts and showing the dude the fart bag the old guy is STILL not smart enough to understand it was a JOKE. What a stupid fucktard that old fucker is!
"Just another white trash hillbilly on disability."
WORD!!!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by Abby Normal on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 1:20am.
from athens on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 12:49am.
haha!keep them coming girlfriend!i want more lunacy manifestos!
I promise not to disappoint. ;)
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EveryStranger, btw...
Remember when I put your wife down and you were upset about it and I explained that I was certain she was your 'ex-wife'? It's because I already knew she was going to be your ex-wife.
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OH FUCK, now we have a clairvoyant in our midst! * eye roll*
Man, I have to quit reading back though threads in the morning, as they are tend to piss me off.
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
Oh yeah, he is so disabled he has to ride in a chair, BUT he can run after this kid, punch him and be a general asshole just fine WITHOUT the chair.
Just another white trash hillbilly on disability.
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
Sure, I understand defending your wife's honor or whatever (so 1950) but ten bucks says that if he's willing to assault someone in Target over farting, he's used those same fists against his wife at some point. I'm not saying the young guy is not totally stupid and it wasn't a lame joke (it was), I'm just saying that the old man is clearly not as mature or evolved as his years would lead you to believe.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Stoney, while I agree with you I think he was just defending his wife's "honor" or whatever... I would have said something to the guy if he farted in my wife's face... if he would have been standing down the aisle I would have just LOLLL'd. Definitely would not have punched the dude... you can tell by listening to the old man he is irrational and lack's social skills lol
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Anyone can get screwed, its not rocket science.
Submitted by kate773 on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 11:06am.
Just watched the video. TEAM YOUNG GUY!! You don't just PUNCH someone for farting. Makes me think this guy has most definitely used his fists in the past, MANY times. It was a joke. What the hell is wrong with the world where a little humor is so intolerable that someone has to be assaulted for it? If that old man had listened for a half a second he would have found out it was just a fart machine and if he had any sense of humor at all, he would have LAUGHED. Lighten UP!! Old man is obviously a ticking time bomb, ready to use violence when provoked just the tiniest bit! Abusive a-hole!! Young guy, next time don't pick the old trash on scooters to try out your jokes on.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
fooled you leenie!!! they are already down!!!
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Anyone can get screwed, its not rocket science.
Submitted by kate773 on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 11:06am.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 7:25am.
*pulls Jack's pants down*
Sucky 12/14/09 Motherfucker, I lick pits for a living
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever Salacious 7/15/10 Thank you Leenie! You made me smile like a 19th century whore who got overpaid
*high fives my brotha ESE*
*bans thread*
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Anyone can get screwed, its not rocket science.
Submitted by kate773 on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 11:06am.
He deserved that and more, the idiotic little twat.
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"The booming cackle let out by Tina Knowles was hot enough to curl every weave in a 5-mile radius." MK
Submitted by Abby Normal on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 1:20am.
yeah... because as much as you have no fuckin' clue what me, my wife, nor what my wife and i are going through... you just go right ahead and think that you had some kind of insight to it, because... it's all just so fuckin' clear when it is put in text on the internet.
sorry... i hope you weren't trying to be disrespectful, but... know that you came off that way.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
WTF just happened?