Guess What Lindsay Lohan Did Saturday Night?
After hearing that Amy Winehouse died on Saturday, Lindsay Lohan cut the pipe that runs from the Smirnoff factory directly to her faucets, deleted the Find-A-Dealer app from her iPhone, strapped herself to the back of the wagon and vowed to only drink distilled water from now on. No. Bitch must've slept through that wake up call, because Radar says she got sneaky drunk instead.
A source tells Radar that LiLo started her night at Chateau Marmont, where she kept her tongue off of the booze. When the party moved to the Pailhouse Hotel, LiLo showed up sober and only ordered cranberry juices from the waitress. But like most hos surrounded by drunks getting drunker, LiLo started to get thirsty for the nectar of the gods and snuck a few lemon drop shots down her froat. LiLo ordered a couple of martinis but tried to say they were for her friends. When the martinis showed up, one of LiLo's friends shot the waitress a look that said, "Don't give those to her." A few vodka shots and one martini later, LiLo was officially a sloppy mess of a drunk and got bitchy with her date, Ozzy from Survivor (random shit alert), because she thought he was trying to get down he chonies of another ho.
You didn't think that it could get any sadder than fighting for Ozzy from fucking Survivor, but it did. LiLo set a new world record when she stumbled downhill like there was an 8-ball at the bottom.
"She yelled at him to 'Stop flirting with everyone'! A guy sitting on the other side of her poured himself a vodka on the rocks and I saw her take two sips out of it. But she was really careful to only order juice from the staff. By 2 am, she could barely stand. She was trying to stabilize herself on the chairs. Then she made it over to the curtains and hung on them. The manager saw this and went over and helped her stand up.
She was really nice to the manager. She kept saying, 'Thank you. All my friend left me.' Then she picked up her phone and started screaming 'Every body left me! Why did everyone leave me? Where are you? The manager went back over to her and told her not to worry. 'I'll help you. Don't worry'," I heard the manager say. She eventually got outside, and when she got to her Escalade she just collapsed into it."
LiLo's drunk ass hanging onto a curtain like it's her only friend and wailing out how she's alone in the world is the epitome of "BITCH YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS." The real definition of a friend is a bitch who will hold your hair while you barf into the sink of a club bathroom, will make sure your pussy isn't giving a free show when they throw you into the back of a cab, will tuck you into bed and will slap you in the face with a cold wet rag in the morning for completely ruining their night. Bitch doesn't even have that.
So since Amy Winehouse is winking at her from the afterworld, she has no real friends and Tara Reid is about to file a copyright infringement lawsuit against her for trying to steal her life, maybe it's about time LiLo really started re-evaluating her life choices. Or you know, just ignore everything and go St. Tropez instead! That'll fix everything too.
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Um...blow?
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I actually that picture was of my 68 year old Mother In Law at first.
It would take a lot of grog and dope to finish this thick skinned bitch. Amy was a tiny little whif of a feather. This Lindsay is a monster in comparison. No ticket to the 27 club either. Had to have talent to get in to that.
LiLo does not understand that you cannot fool all of the people all of the time. The people wised up. LiLo is washed up. She looks terribly wasted for 25!
She was drinking from her friends' drinks. Did not that count? She still got drunk.
Fuck her and move on.
God is calling her. "NEXT!"
She had the opportunity of working with Meryl Streep and Robert Altman, and fucked it all up,some actors never get those sort of opportunities. She's a vile dickstain.
Meth aura going on here. Come on ladies. We have to be stronger than this. Amy Winehouse should be an example of pure strength being wasted. Enough bullshit. Time to show the girls yet to be born how to really live and love ourselves.
I think the time is long overdue for gossip blogs and any media to write about Hohan.
She's pathetic, she's over, let her just go work in a shoe store on Long Island.
Please pretend she doesn't exist.
I mean, she doesn't.
Seriously.
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GERONIMO!
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Mon, 07/25/2011 - 9:14pm.
"Move that wall. I'm Lindsay Lohan."
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Have you ever posed with the Cutlets in the pap's flash light?
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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
Yer funny.
♥ Threadkilla!
RIP, Amy: Sep14,1983 to Jul23,2011
http://youtu.be/Con6WaimJ6c
She doesn't look a day over 47.
"Move that wall. I'm Lindsay Lohan."
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Have you ever posed with the Cutlets in the pap's flash light?
She's getting really nasty looking. Maybe she can be friends with Tara Reid. Then they can each delude themselves into thinking the OTHER ONE is "the skank".
I was going to say "Nice friends", but it sounds like they were trying to help her be sober and she fucked it up. They had every right to walk out on her drunk ass. Hopefully the car she crawled into was equipped with a sober driver. (Although I can't imagine a bar/restaurant manager escorting an obviously drunk patron into a car knowing they were the driver.)
Blohan is such a loser she'll probably kick the bucket the day before her 27th birthday. Deadie fail.
Submitted by mwittier on Mon, 07/25/2011 - 5:46pm.
Lauren Bacall is looking good.
LOL!!
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Have you ever posed with the Cutlets in the pap's flash light?
Stoney, you called it: "Lindsay says she wasn't even drinking during her friend's birthday party at the Palihouse hotel." (From TMZ. Sorry if this has been posted here already.)
What a broken record.
Submitted by mwittier on Mon, 07/25/2011 - 5:46pm: "Lauren Bacall is looking good."
Ha, ha!!!!
Lauren Bacall is looking good.
Dana Plato part II !
But atleast she played Kimberly Drummond for almost 9 years ... which is considered a successful sitcom. LL has 3 known movies ... and that's where her career ends.
Still ... she seems to be walking in those shoes more and more.
Submitted by letinstar on Mon, 07/25/2011 - 12:00pm.
firecrotch is not talented enough to be a member of the "27 club"...
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but she played two roles in "The Parent Trap"...TWO...and let's not forget that CLASSIC..."I know who killed me"...WHAT RANGE!!!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
i thought she wasn't allowed at the chateau marmont anymore?
i felt bad about amy, but i won't feel shit about this loser. she's not nearly as successful at being sneaky as she thinks she is. she's got "lost cause" written all over her.
she has no friends and that's apparent.
Here we go, ugh. They CANNOT just stay off the grid and compensate by doing something, anything, worthwhile. Cannot. Damn.
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Amy Winehouse "Will You Still Love Me?" (RIP)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ludxpkyrab0
Akira Kurosawa's "Ran",1985 (...the need for humans to hold onto something unseen; the value of the 'minds-eye'; the 'minds-eye' being the last thing left. -me)
Even hobos in the gutter look at Lilo and say "my shit is not THAT bad.". The Industry knows she is uninsurable and as reliable as a 20 year old condom.
Speaking of the 27 club....I saw a 27 club poster with Jade Goody on it and that was a big WTF??? Yeah Jade Goody there with Hendrix, Joplin and Morrison. If you don't know who Jade Goody was, she was like the British version of Snooki but with less class and intelligence (yeah that bad)who died at 27.
I don't know if Lohan is going to make it to 27. I'm getting bad vibes about her and Charlie Sheen too...
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
I wonder if she does this shit for attention. I'm not saying she isn't a mess, but with the passing of AW, her timing is impeccable.
She used to suggest in interviews that she liked lying to the public and press for "fun", or just to see what she could get away with.
I'm thinking that even though she was a movie actress at one point, deep down, she's of hilton/kardashian/montag fame-whoring stock, and believes that any attention is good attention.
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An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
This drunken fool is such a waste of space.
What a mess. She is not long for this world.
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
In spite of all of her self-induced drama, I really REALLY hope that Lindsay gets it together some day.
Sadly, something really terrible is going to have to happen, or she will die, before anything will change.
Lindsay is a true alcoholic, and I hope she hits bottom soon.
Hohan is denying it all as usual...what a fucking joke...Long Live Wino!!! At least Wino was real..not this sorry excuse for a human...dayum Grim REaper picked the wrong one again!!
I can't believe it, but you bitches called it. Blohan issued a denial saying no way was she drunk and she was only there because it was her friend's birthday party. Seriously, get a new line. At least Amy owned her shit, which is why I always rooted for her and could give a crap a Blohan. And if Blohan is so convinced she's Marilyn reincarnated, then I have bad news because Marilyn lived to be 36.
Now seriously, she is looking like those pictures of Marilyn Monroe when she died, after she died...
She looks exactly like her mother. Yuck yuck yuck. Stop sunbathing freckleface, and quit the ciggies.
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
LiLo? Perfect her craft? Come on now! Get serious. She never did.
LiLo's talent remains in getting stoned or drunk. She wants to self-destruct right now, just like Amy Wino. LiLo sees herself as a 21st century Marilyn Monroe. She was not good at acting, either. She was a martyr and a suicide. No need to try to immortalize MM or LiLo.
Great to read that LiLo fell off the wagon and has no friends. She may be deceased before the year's end yet! Hoo-ah!
Lilo was not drinking, she was there to help children from India.
Lilo is not aging well the alcohol bloat is NOT a good look. When will I find comments like this funny again without feeling that PC left wing guilt?
Submitted by Thornhill on Mon, 07/25/2011 - 1:15pm.
Saying Blohan got drunk is like saying it gets dark at night...
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For the record she was talented see The Parent Trap. I liked her in Mean Girls too.
Hopefully she will get new friends and get it the fuck together.
Wow, Ozzy from "Survivor"? Really? Did the fat dude from "Ace of Cakes" have another engagement?
With parents like hers, she never stood a chance.
It's all fun and games until Wino gets to the gates of purgatory and slurs out, "HELLO, ATHENS!" ----MK
I meant to say LEAVE LINDSAY A LOAN!!! I heard she's out of money.
Why do I get the eerie feeling that Wino is warming up a celestial glass pipe for LiLo in the Great Crackhouse in the Sky?
What, too soon?
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 07/25/2011 - 1:36pm.
LOL Angel, Ozzy has been sullied!!!
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OMG I don't even want to beweave it!
I want to unread what I read! AAAACK!
But he left her ass so that's good:)
♥ Threadkilla!
RIP, Amy: Sep14,1983 to Jul23,2011
http://youtu.be/Con6WaimJ6c
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 07/25/2011 - 1:42pm.
LOL!@ All my friend left me. I know it's prolly a typo but it's still makin' me laff.
LEAVE LINSAY ALONE...oh wait.
Lindsey Lohan or Julian Sands?
IF Linnocent was overserved, then it was clearly the bar's fault...and IF she was drunk and hanging on the curtains and no pap was around to photograph it, did it really happen? Hmmmm???
p.s. Thanks to crankenstein and rusty hooligan for asking and answering a question I've had for a long time!
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It's all fun and games until Kimbo Stewart gets knocked up with Beni da Bull's baby.
MK 4/11/11
She's playing with fire by mixing booze with the toxic fumes of her artificial orange tan.
LOL!@ All my friend left me. I know it's prolly a typo but it's still makin' me laff.
♥ Threadkilla!
RIP, Amy: Sep14,1983 to Jul23,2011
http://youtu.be/Con6WaimJ6c
LOL Angel, Ozzy has been sullied!!!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Submitted by crankenstein on Mon, 07/25/2011 - 1:18pm.
I wonder why I cannot figure out how to reply to other people's posts Maybe its cuz im forty. someone please help.
LOL! Most people just cut & paste into the Leave a Comment box, then reply. There is no "Reply" button.
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Have you ever posed with the Cutlets in the pap's flash light?
Oh couldn't she just start a new 25 Club...really it's still not to late. Seriously she won't make it to 27.