The Real Reason Why JLo Dumped Skeletor
My eyes have been opened. The real reason why JLo and Skeletor's marriage has a chalk outline around it, isn't because of the rumors that he's got hos in every crevice of Eternia or that he wanted a say in every piece of fabric that hugged her double pan de agua ass. A poster at Lipstick Alley (via ONTD) says it's because JLo threw a black lace veil over her chocha and mourned the loss of all feeling down there due to Skeletor's 11-inch crotch arm of force. SANTO DIOS! To quote my abuelita: "Aye can't!"
First of all, whose wrist are we using as a measurement, because if it's Skeletor's then that's giving me a totally different image. Skeletor could share wrist bracelets with Barbie, so that's just making me picture his dick looking like a long tapeworm. Second of all, maybe Skeletor is just a giant walking dick with a tiny wig on its head, because I'm pretty sure he's 11 inches long from top to bottom.
You know, when this is the first thing you see in your inbox in the morning, you know it's a sign to log off for the day, fill the tub and stick your head in it. You bring the Calgon. For the Calgon enema, not to go in the water. It's one of those days.
And here's JLo trying to recover from Skeletor's Power of Grayskull pinga while shooting What To Expect When You're Expecting in Atlanta yesterday.
• 
You made some first rate points there. I seemed on the internet for the problem and located most people will go along with together with your website.
silver lotto system girlhood popup domination review maladminister pro flight simulator review plunge vince del monte membranaceous
This actually answered my problem, thanks!
repute Depolarization quests melanophore
Seriously, a girl don't let a guy like that go unless he's a bigger dick that his package.
I'll tell you what, go 16 months (and counting) without it and then tell me what a chore it is.
*********
Truthfully, with two little ones under toe ... I could go months without it ... too fuckin' tired!
But yes, when there is no dick in sight for months or even years on end ...you tend to long for it:)
Good luck gettin' some.
Submitted by Daniee on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 4:22am.
Yes she did lol
and she was like ... why is it that guys wanna take control and put their hands behind your head. and then try to start fuck your mouth.
lol i dont know the answer
well some gay gentlemen (LOL!) i know... are like size queens so they would probably love something that big.
i've only ever had one experience with a 9.5" and that was my limit, i didnt want my nono to end up looking like moses parted the red sea.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 2:40am.
Submitted by Daniee on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 1:05am.
Yeah one of my gal pals told me, that this guy she went out with had a 10.5inches and it was thickish lol
and she said she used to cry abit when he was trying to push it further, plus he likes to grab her head whenever she was giving him a beejay. lol
they broke up, but it was not because of his big peen.
anyway skeletor always looks half dead anyway, so if he achieved erection, all the blood would rush to his peen and skeletor would look like a shrivelled up egyptian mummy.
___________________________________________________________
hahahaha!! Now there's a pic of skeletor!
Did your gal pal choke on his dick? fuck.
I remember seeing my current (9 years!) piece's dick for the first time which is large but not THAT large and after the initial excitement, I thought to myself "Hmmm, so how I am gonna handle this thing?" Luckily, he has become concious (most of the time) of it's size.
Submitted by Daniee on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 1:05am.
Yeah one of my gal pals told me, that this guy she went out with had a 10.5inches and it was thickish lol
and she said she used to cry abit when he was trying to push it further, plus he likes to grab her head whenever she was giving him a beejay. lol
they broke up, but it was not because of his big peen.
anyway skeletor always looks half dead anyway, so if he achieved erection, all the blood would rush to his peen and skeletor would look like a shrivelled up egyptian mummy.
I agree that the story must be completely made up. In the fashion industry?? Is he having his underwear customed made to fit over his dick? Silly.
But, gettin back to dick size talk.....I will agree with most that a small dick is alright, I can live with that, but really..an extra large one is not as fun as it may look. You spend most of all of your energies trying to "relax" your own shit enough to just accomodate that huge thang and there's no room to play around, massage and stuff. I don't like real big dicks. It's too much effort. Only so much is ever gonna fit in there, right?
Submitted by loopygorilla on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 9:48pm.
So that is why Skeletor looks like a vampire because his peen has all the blood.
-----------------------------------------------
BWAHAHAHAHA
So that is why Skeletor looks like a vampire because his peen has all the blood.
Damm 11 inches! no way J-Lo would be able to take all that, otherwise girlfriend would be like the Panama canal.
if she can, than GOD DAMM she is a bigger hoe than i gave her credit for. GIT it bitch!
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 7:01pm.
Self-help is ok in and of itself, but I really, really miss the real thing. I feel sorry for the next guy I date, I'll be plastered to him and harder to scrape off then a barnacle.
__________________________________
What's as equally as funny to me is a hillbilly Santa Claus jumping up from his motorized sleigh to whoop a trick with pepaw fists of fury! It's a win/win. MK 7/21/11
Lol, i hear ya. Last deployment my former neighbor with his hobbit-feet started to look slightly attractive.
It`s just an indicator that its time for a good "self-help" session and the "no dick"- googles came off in no time....
=================================================
"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
--------------------------------------------------
http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
UBF - I can see where you're coming from, but maybe it helps to know that there's a date circled on your calendar when you know you'll be getting some? Cuz my calendar is empty right now and I'm 'bout ready to die. I know it's bad when the asshole ex and the crazy 50-something dude who looks mildly like Eric Clapton after a bad car accident and botched plastic surgery are starting to look really good.
__________________________________
What's as equally as funny to me is a hillbilly Santa Claus jumping up from his motorized sleigh to whoop a trick with pepaw fists of fury! It's a win/win. MK 7/21/11
lol CSG. I go without periodically for 12, 15 months and after about 2 month or returned dick, its back to "Motherfucker hurry up, i still gotta do the dishes..lol"
=================================================
"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
--------------------------------------------------
http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Submitted by ponchiks on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 2:02pm.
Submitted by K2 on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 10:01am.
I remember that episode:-) She was right too!
Too big becomes a chore after awhile. It's like "hurry the fuck up already and be done with it". lol
__________________________________________________
Isn't that how all sex goes?
__________________________________
I'll tell you what, go 16 months (and counting) without it and then tell me what a chore it is.
*books airline ticket to Puerto Rico*
__________________________________
What's as equally as funny to me is a hillbilly Santa Claus jumping up from his motorized sleigh to whoop a trick with pepaw fists of fury! It's a win/win. MK 7/21/11
She was with P Diddy ... I'd think she'd be use to the schlong.
Then again ... lets not stereotype, right?
Maybe Ben was hung like a horse and Diddy was the size of a lipstick. Who knows ...
I know about the skinny dudes packin some heat down there but how tall is the Crypt Keeper because it's usually tall and skinny dudes...anything under 5'11" is short to me and I'm 5'3"..dude could have a massive dick, his fucking face would dry me right up..she's got NO standards whatsoever, ship her back to that ghetto known as DA Bronx
JHO Bag is an experienced slut, she can take any dick. I don't believe it. How do you think she got so far in the entertainment business with no talent? She sucked and fucked anything and everything to get ahead. JHO Bag is a pro, plain and simple. She can take that dick and another one the same size up her fat ass, and one down her throat, all at the same time.
Given the height of Skeletor, 11 inches is roughly the length of his femur, presumably he keeps it strapped to his inside leg.
Submitted by ponchiks on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 2:02pm.
Submitted by K2 on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 10:01am.
I remember that episode:-) She was right too!
Too big becomes a chore after awhile. It's like "hurry the fuck up already and be done with it". lol
____________________________________________________
Isn't that how all sex goes?
************
Touche ...
so true *sigh*
Submitted by guest on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 9:37am.
Pretty sure she said he was the best she'd ever had
When did J.Lo say that? What did she say exactly?
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 10:28am. Submitted by joe shmoe on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 10:08am. Is it like this?
*******
HAHA... You did advanced maths in 7th grade didn't you?
God doesn't like show-offs.
*flouncing out*
************
Love is a war of lightning~Neruda
I don't care if old skull head could sword fight with a small pony, he's still gross.
Nothing will tank a marriage quicker than shitty sex. I'll over look alot of issues, if a guy knows what to with his man meat in bed.
~*Lets go to my room pig!*~
Let's face it girls: a big dick is impressive but it requires some work.
Submitted by K2 on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 10:01am.
I remember that episode:-) She was right too!
Too big becomes a chore after awhile. It's like "hurry the fuck up already and be done with it". lol
____________________________________________________
Isn't that how all sex goes?
I dunno, it could be true.
I hate that I even know this b/c it's gross, but a gf of one of my Korean cousins just HAD to tell me how big he was. BLEH.
And my cousin is def not someone you'd imagine to have a big peen (yuck... mental image). He's Asian for one and he's scrawny as hell.
Not to make this into the Dick Olympics or the International House of Dicks, but the biggest dick I ever had was Puerto Rican dick. It was very big around and looked like a large summer sausage. That said, it wasn't great dick, just big dick. He also bought his condoms at Sam's club and I didn't like the idea of a dude with cases of Trojans at the ready.
What we really need here is Mrs.Patrick Campbell with his professional expertise in all matters sizemeat vs. tinymeat.
I have very sensitive PeenDar (don't ask)and I always got a little zing whenever I saw a pic of Skeletor. No Mas on his Boricua schlong, I can believe it is possible. This is BF sized peen not Husband sized Peen! Move along... next!!!
Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion
An source close to JLo hissed to me from his barstool 'she threw him out because he's a cokey coke face. plus she's got her pure puerto rican babies and wants to get back to the white dick.' When he's got Scotch mouth he can't speak in capital letters.
This story is absolutely hilarious and made up.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
LMAO! The dick jokes just keep on coming! :-P
I believe it, not that skinny PR dudes have big slongs but that most skinny dudes have big slongs. IE. my white fiance
Lmao@ aye can't!! Im gonna make my Dominican abuelita say that shit when I call her today
I believe it because I've seen the biggest dicks on skinny little puerto rican guys. I don't believe that's why their marriage ended though. That's stupid.
Frank Sinatra was a tiny skinny shrimp of a man, but I've read he was hung like a horse. Even his ex-wife Ava Gardner said so. Old "blue eyes" was an Italian stallion, he he.
I don't know why you all are commenting when we all know it's ONLY MPC's opinion that matters... ;)
And suspenders are never the look. Mmmmkay?
-----------------------------------------------
"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
Ladies, ladies, ladies. SMH Stop whining about dick size. We can pass babies through our vajayjays, so what's a big dick to contend with? Hell, I'm a size queen to this day thanks to my college boyfriend (Magnum condoms were snug on him).
GOD BLESS THE BIG DICKS!
LOLOLOLOL! You guys are the bestest!
If math was like this in school I might have remembered a thing or two.
♥ Threadkilla!
RIP, Amy: Sep14,1983 to Jul23,2011
http://youtu.be/Con6WaimJ6c
It's true that the biggest ass dicks I've ever seen came from very slim, petite guys. Like a boyfriend of mine was slim and probably 5'9"--but he had a freaking LOG DICK. It fucking hurt and when we had sex I felt like he was literally poking my uterus or some other internal organ. When I wasn't wincing in agony I was struggling with an impulse to pee. Not fun. I dumped him soon after.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 10:08am.
Is it like this?
__ years of pounding X __ inches of peen length/girth = __ base entitlement.
Then adjust by $__ value of luxury gifts to other spouse. Adjust +/- 25% for annoyingness of other spouse.
Increase by up to $2 million annually for each documented marital indiscretion. Express sum as monthly average spousal support into future over duration of years married.
Sceletor`s dick could be the size of a midget and i still wouldn`t hit it. That fucking face! Gah.
And there is such a thing as too big. I turned down a too big dick before. Not that i wasn`t tempted to try it, but the guy was a man-whore and after the biggest fucking size condom we could find at the store was still too small, i had to pass. The thrill of the big dick wouldn`t have been worth an almost guaranteed STD. But it was an inner battle of epic proportions to turn that log down..
Should have had him tested and locked him in my basement til we know he s clear...
==============================================
"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
--------------------------------------------------
http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Please this was dropped by Marc's people. I am getting some major hostility/passive aggressive vibe from JLO & MA. Lately JLO has been flaunting her fab body and now this drop about his dick. I think these 2 are sending messages to each other. If Marc could, he would go out in public with beautiful lady on his arm, but if he did that everyone would claim he is cheating and feel sorry for Jlo so instead he makes her seem like this wimp couldnt take his mighty dick.
maybe, but I don't believe Jlo would marry a guy with a small dick, not even for a second.
POOOHTEEEE!
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 9:55am
******
Why yes Rusty, I figure out spousal support amounts with my own unique form of maths. And let me just say that neverwas so much owed by so many to so few. :D
************
I'm sorry, but I'm not buying this delicious piece of BS.
I think Marc's publicist released this to make Marc get dates.
______________________________________________________________
All together now: FUCK MY LIFE. - The One-and-Only Michael K- 6/17/11
I don't care if he's got a 20" dick... his face and skeletal body would make me heave regardless...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I guess it's best to end a relationship the same way you start it: absolutely fucking tanked. MK 6/11
Submitted by Jana on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 9:08am.
if this isn't the most ridiculous post I've read today, I don't what can top it.
furthermore, sex doesn't make or break a marriage.
-------------------------------------------------
What ya smokin'? Sex is vitally important to a marriage and many a union have been destroyed by mismatched sex drives, bad sex, not enough sex, etc.
Sometimes there is such a thing as too big. Trust me on this. I remember the episode of SATC where Samantha tried to have sex with "Mr. Too Big," and even she had to admit there is such a thing as too big.
*******
I remember that episode:-) She was right too!
Too big becomes a chore after awhile. It's like "hurry the fuck up already and be done with it". lol
Why the fuck are we seeing all of these pictures of Jennifer Lopez lately. These are clearly staged. Jennifer Lopez has always been good at eluding (is that a word?) the papparazi when it was annoying for her-even in 2003. Purely publicity.
************************************************************
Remember in the 90's when people said "hey, its the 90s right?"
Submitted by joe shmoe on Wed, 07/27/2011 - 8:59am.
11 inches? What's that in square metres? I need some context here.
I thought you were in charge of the Divorcemate calculations?