Katie Price Is Coming Back To America!
Since this country doesn't have enough homegrown trash covered in stripper glitter and straightened hair ripped out of a yack, we're importing more from the UK! Katie Price is telling The Sun that she's once again going to lube up her body in brown tinted Trex (that's "Crisco" in British talk) and shove herself down America's wide open throat hoping that we don't vomit her up this time. Katie has already signed a deal with FOX to do a reality show where she'll take a Priscilla, Queen of the Desert-like road trip from New York to Los Angeles.
Yes, I'm sure it'll be just like Priscilla....but without the entertainment, talent, hot outfits and the priceless soundtrack. Basically, it's going to be like one of the oil balls that was spat out of Priscilla's exhaust pipe. Katie put sit like this:
"It's taken nearly a year to set this contract up. We're thinking of doing the road trip from New York to Los Angeles. But I want a big Priscilla-style van. You've got to make it fun. The cameras will be inside the van. That's what we're working on at the moment. I'll be in America in September and they're trying to work out what they want to do. I'm not trying to be famous or massive, I'm just doing what I want to do."
"I'm not trying to be famous," said an extremely humble Katie as her legs were wrapped around a spotlight and the room started to smell like burnt labia hair.
I know that most of the UK is praying that Katie's bus will take a wrong turn into a strict Amish compound where they will mistake her for a hochmootich scarecrow riding in a gay steel dragon and burn her at the stake. But I'm keeping it simple and praying that Katie brings HAAAAAAAAAAARVEY (who will obviously be spared by the Amish because he's an angel).
• 
I don't even want to know who is going to pop out the ping pong balls.
"Since this country doesn't have enough homegrown trash covered in stripper glitter and straightened hair ripped out of a yack..."
Oh, MK, you fabulous wordsmith you!
At least Harvey will never know what a disgusting piece of filth his mother is. A pity the other children will not be so fortunate.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Er, where are her kids going to be while she is driving across America having hilarious (not really) adventures? At least 2 of them are school age. Is she taking them out of school, or ditching them with their second mummy aka the hired help? Her brats will be so embarrassed when they get older. By happy coincidence, I was bored at work last night and checked out her sex tape (god bless Iphones). She has enormous burger nipples and let Dane Bowers from failed boyband Another Level fuck her with his foot. Sex tape fail.
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Her popularity has really taken a nosedive in the UK lately. She's desperately trying to squeeze her cooch dry by doing any kind of reality show she can get.
i like it much better when katie stays in the uk...
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
What an icky, hideous-looking stinkfish!
Ha, ha!
Okay Mickey, it's 3am in NYC, and I have to get to work in the morning. Sweet dreams and no nightmares of Katie Price's boobs (those are not breasts) smothering you as she attempts to sleep on her stomach.
@Bjork You
Your selfless giving to others is inspiring. I'm gonna cook my parents dinner right now! (Although, truth be told, I don't really now if I'm doing them a favor.)
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"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."
Mahatma Gandhi
No, no, it's all research for my tell-all on MK and you dlisters. So, watching Katie Price porn, the Kim Kardasshian porn tape, and recently, the Amy Fisher one (where she's boning her 70-year-old husband) was the necessary sacrifice for my art. I am bracing myself for the Courtney Stodden/Tooms tape that is accidentally leaked to the press.
Submitted by Bjork You on Tue, 08/02/2011 - 12:27am.
And to think that Jack is missing all this! Bjork You into Katie Price porn. Who would have thought? LOL
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"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."
Mahatma Gandhi
Mickey,
I saw her porn tape; her boobs don't move unless manually maneuvered. Therefore, she doesn't have to worry about them slapping her when she jogs or, in her case, when she bounces up and down on some guy's peen.
Her hair looks so pretty!
Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 11:27pm.
"I wonder if Katie ever misses sleeping on her tummy."
She would have to have a very flexible back for being able to do so, but something tells me that she has. I can't for the life of me understand why anyone would want to spend big bucks for looking like this. With my average B-cup I feel unelegant already. And try running a couple of miles with those babies bitch slapping you every step of the way. I agree that she looks good with this hair color, though.
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"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."
Mahatma Gandhi
Hey Mickey! I wonder if Katie ever misses sleeping on her tummy. Even women with large breasts can flatten them somewhat in that position, but Katie's inflatables preclude even the notion. I also think she looks good blonde.
Katie trying to sleep on her tummy:
__00__
Good evening Bjork!
A tune befitting the occasion. How very ESE of you!
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"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."
Mahatma Gandhi
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 10:58pm: "You have to admire this life-size Barbie for making a career out of ABSOLUTELY nothing. That takes guts. It took me three years to hand in my final essay when I was in University because I was eaten by self-doubt. I wish I had been a little more Katie Price back then."
Yes, because then you could have written your thesis on your boobies!!
For you and Katie, dust off those pumps:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVaqQe3V498&ob=av3e
"Fuck Me Pumps"
When you walk in the bar,
And you dressed like a star,
Rockin' your F me pumps.
And the men notice you,
With your Gucci bag crew,
Can't tell who he's lookin' to.
Cuz you all look the same,
Everyone knows your name,
And that's your whole claim to fame.
Never miss a night,
Cuz your dream in life,
Is to be a footballer's wife.
You don't like players,
That's what you say-a,
But you really wouldn't mind a millionaire.
You don't like ballers,
They don't do nothing for ya,
But you'd love a rich man six foot two or taller.
You're more than a fan,
Lookin' for a man,
But you end up with one-nights-stands.
He could be your whole life,
If you got past one night,
But that part never goes right.
In the morning you're vexed,
He's onto the next,
And you didn't even get no taste.
Don't be too upset,
If they call you a skank,
Cuz like the news everyday you get pressed.
You don't like players,
That's what you say-a,
But you really wouldn't mind a millionaire.
Or them big ballers,
Don't do nothing for ya.
But you'd love a rich man six foot two or taller,
You can't sit down right,
Cuz your jeans are too tight,
And you're lucky it's ladies night.
With your big empty purse,
Every week it gets worse,
At least your breasts cost more than hers.
So you did Miami,
Cuz you got there for free,
But somehow you missed the plane.
You did too much E,
Met somebody,
And spent the night getting caned.
Without girls like you,
There'd be no fun,
We'd go to the club and not see anyone.
Without girls like you,
There's no nightlife,
All those men just go home to their wives.
Don't be mad at me,
Cuz you're pushing thirty,
And your old tricks no longer work.
You should have known from the jump,
That you always get dumped,
So dust off your fuck me pumps
You have to admire this life-size Barbie for making a career out of ABSOLUTELY nothing. That takes guts. It took me three years to hand in my final essay when I was in University because I was eaten by self-doubt. I wish I had been a little more Katie Price back then.
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"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."
Mahatma Gandhi
HELLS YEAH!!
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 10:48pm.
"Pink horse trailer" is obviously some sort of slang lingo. I can get home with the downies, too.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 10:44pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 10:41pm.
She's not trying to be massive?
hahaha. A Katie Price scholar, I see. I'm not sure KP's quite classy enough for the USA...
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Have you see the pink horse trailer she drives around.
It's freakin' massive.
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La patrie, l'honneur, la liberté, il n'y a rien : l'univers tourne autour d'une paire de fesses, c'est tout...~Sartre
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 10:41pm.
She's not trying to be massive?
hahaha. A Katie Price scholar, I see. I'm not sure KP's quite classy enough for the USA...
She's not trying to be massive? Umm..look down Katie, look down!
On the romantic front, she's admitted that it's difficult to communicate with her bf of 4 months cuz he doesn't speak English (and neither does she, haha)..errr and she doesn't speak Spanish. She did however know enough Spanish to approach him at an Oscar after-party and ask him if he had a big cock.
She's a go-er.
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La patrie, l'honneur, la liberté, il n'y a rien : l'univers tourne autour d'une paire de fesses, c'est tout...~Sartre
I'm going to start using hochmootich in sentences every day.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 6:39pm.
Anybody believe we'll see one episode of this? The Sun makes up shit, like the lady who botox'd her kid. She is completely unknown in this country.
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I only know her because of this site. And I still have no idea why she is famous in her country.
Like America needs another cheap hooker. Britian, contain your own trash or just send her to Serbia or something.
Lady, you are never gonna be big over here because we have plenty of big-boobed fried-hair trash already.
It will be like Stephen Fry in America, except not witty, smart or funny. So it will be witless stupid and achingly boring. "Haha, here's the sophisticated Brit Katie making fun of trashy American yokels... oh wait, she's just like them!"
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
If you really think about it Murdoch own media has brought forth the Kardashians, Hefner Hoes, Paris Hilton and so on and so on to the public, and now this bitch, I have had enough! I am sick of people like this being put on a pedestal, and given a format to exhibit their vapid lives, lack of talent, and prostitute ways. FUCK YOU RUPERT MURDOCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you really think about it Murdoch own media has brought forth the Kardashians, Hefner Hoes, Paris Hilton and so on and so on to the public, and now this bitch, I have had enough! I am sick of people like this being put on a pedestal, and given a format to exhibit their vapid lives, lack of talent, and prostitute ways. FUCK YOU RUPERT MURDOCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Deb on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 8:42pm.
Why can't Katie Price get tired like the Kings of Leon? We'd understand, honest!
Ha! I'm just too damn tired for more than one Ha.
Why can't Katie Price get tired like the Kings of Leon? We'd understand, honest!
Plastic whore.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by stake_spike on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 7:59pm.
I loved the 'Stephen Fry Across America' series. Nothing beats a London cab for confusing the locals!
Katie probably won't need any sort of vehicle to confuse the locals.
NOOOOOOO!!!! We've got enough talentless trash hogging the tv airwaves. Can't we Americans have sone veto power over shit like this ?
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
Katie is coming to AMERICA! Wooooo! Super Shero!!!
Maybe we'll be lucky and
She'll go to Canada.
Or South America.
She'd be a bigger turd floating in smaller toilets there.
.
.
Priscilla, Queen of the Desert -- puleeeze. Ha!
.
.
So it will be like Stephen Fry in America (but less intelligent) or Russell Brand's Road Trip (but less funny) where a Brit drives across the country and makes fun of the locals? Gee what a brand new, brilliant concept.
I did always wonder what the hell happened to her show on E! though. They just stopped showing it one day. I am ashamed to admit that I do watch her shows (thanks to Brit uploaders who run an amazing British telly torrent site). I guess Sky canceled her series ("Katie") then?
Oh and you know it's going to suck if it's on FOX. It will be 30 minutes long and follow the formula of "The Simple Life". Snooooze. At least ITV and Sky don't try to put too much input in. FOX sucks.
Is "I don't want to be famous" the new "in rehab for exhaustion"?
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I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule.
Award winning tv!! Yipppppeeeeeeee
that's the best she's looked in aaaaages
*****
Tonight I'm feeling to make you enjoy with a blowjob/I want to feel in my throat
luscious_t requests asylum from Hollywood star whackers
NOOOOOOOOOO! WE DON"T WANT THAT SKANK HERE! WE HAVE MORE THEN ENOUGH OF OUR OWN!
gross
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Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.
Courtney Stodden? I thought she was relying on marrying her dad for publicity????
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
That bitch! I wish i could do this trip.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
"I'm not trying to be famous," said an extremely humble Katie as her legs were wrapped around a spotlight and the room started to smell like burnt labia hair.
Bwahahahaha!!
<"Submitted by putas on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 6:39pm.
It reminded me of the jordan knight/nkotb guy signing stuff amidst clothing racks in a store with massive landbeast shoppers blandly shopping in the background. Mk posted the pic a year or so ago..sads!">
The sock aisle! WalMart! I remember it.
DON`T FUCK WITH PRISCILLA. That is one epic movie, bitch, don`t even try!!
*i might watch if she puts on the pingpong scene*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDu9gbuKpKc
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Reality TV is like the kiss of death for a career. just sayin...
Why is this stupid fake-tittied slut attention whoring on US television again? Her last tv show died immediately upon birth here. I wish the INS would just revoke her visa & tell her to keep her std riddled carcass in the UK...
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"There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Isn't she getting long in the tooth for her chosen "profession"? And I thought her star was fading. I read a UK Daily mail (I can't quit them!)story on her latest 'book' signing and they expected tons of people and a handful showed up. It reminded me of the jordan knight/nkotb guy signing stuff amidst clothing racks in a store with massive landbeast shoppers blandly shopping in the background. Mk posted the pic a year or so ago..sads!
Anybody believe we'll see one episode of this? The Sun makes up shit, like the lady who botox'd her kid. She is completely unknown in this country.
I've already seen her Rocky Mountains and Grand Canyon...