The Couple That Random Threw Up
Displaying the chemistry of two paralyzed sloths in a puddle of cold diarrhea, Melissa George of Alias kissed on yoga tortoise Russell Simmons at a soccer game in New Jersey last week. The Daily Mail says that Melissa is still married to her husband of 11 years Claudio Dabed and hasn't said anything about how their marriage is now lying in a coffin waiting to be buried. But I guess a picture of Melissa putting her mouth on a skeleton wrapped in water damaged leather is worth a thousand words. Seriously, you know it's real love when both of them look like they're trying to push out a hard shit into the toilet.
Russell and Melissa went officially public as a question mark's favorite couple by posing together at some charity event he hosted in the Hamptons yesterday. So I guess the last two people in the world I ever thought would hump on each other are humping on each other.
Here's Russell and Melissa in the Hamptons yesterday with Kimora, Djimon Hounsou and all their kids. I'm going to assume that Melissa Botoxed her face until she didn't look like herself, so that bitches wouldn't recognize her when she goes out with Russell. Nice disguise, Melissa. Your secret is safe with us. Just use your shovel vagina to pull as much gold out of Russell's tequila worm dick as possible and I won't judge you for this.
Can you get neck lippo, or did Kimora just gather it all up into a fat-ball bun and hide it under her hair?
Submitted by MIRROR BORE on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 1:19pm.
It's all good. Glad you clarified. :) Your avatar is hynotizing.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
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Yeah I was inspired from those god-awful glitt-fab myspace days that all the cholas would randomply post on all of their friends' wall.
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Submitted by MIRROR BORE on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 1:19pm.
My apologies if I offended anyone on this board with my previous comments :( I really didn't mean to.
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Awww heck, MB. I was a little offended, but then you went ahead and gave the nicest Dlisted apology ever and my cold cold heart turned all warm and squishy.
I'd like to extend the Dlisted olive branch of peace (which is actually a marijuana plant, but hey, this is Dlisted after all). :)
Puff puff give.
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Liks salt off junebuggy's back and cautiously places plant inside sketchy-looking black plastic bag.
Kimora Lee is now a butterface. WTF did she do to her eyes?
I don't know (or really care) what Melissa George's body is like, but her face is jacked now so I will call her a butterface too.
Just read some of the comments below.
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FUCKING LOSER put down the haterade before you fucking choke.
That kiss looks nauseating.
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Kimora looks damn good though.
Submitted by Chris Knight on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:44pm.
Simmons is gay and so are Hounsou and Kimora. Nice "beard" for both men... I dont know if still available but at one time she was involved with none other than Tyra Banks.
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I heard Kimora is gay too, but I didn't know she got down with Tyra! Between Tyra's ten-head and Kimora's turkey waddle, they must have had some epic, earth-pounding makeout sessions.
Djimon Hounsou looks like really good people.
I remember when I first saw him in Janet Jackson's "comeback" video for "Love Will Never Do". I was in lurrrrve!!
Submitted by MIRROR BORE on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 1:19pm.
It's all good. Glad you clarified. :) Your avatar is hynotizing.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Aw, kissing with your eyes open and looking off in another direction. That's romance, people.
Submitted by MIRROR BORE on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 1:19pm.
My apologies if I offended anyone on this board with my previous comments :( I really didn't mean to.
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Awww heck, MB. I was a little offended, but then you went ahead and gave the nicest Dlisted apology ever and my cold cold heart turned all warm and squishy.
I'd like to extend the Dlisted olive branch of peace (which is actually a marijuana plant, but hey, this is Dlisted after all). :)
Puff puff give.
Submitted by MIRROR BORE on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 1:19pm.
Yes you're right. Just worded it stupid. I tried to say that what I hate is when anyone acts all 'Mr./Mrs. Perfect' because they attribute that as being the end all, be all of behavior in society. It's just as a kid you grow up watching all this smut on television that can be very detrimental in terms of the manners that people associate as being right and wrong for society.
My apologies if I offended anyone on this board with my previous comments :( I really didn't mean to.
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Personally M.B., excluding the generalizations, I'm not offended at all by your comments. In observing Russell Simmons over the years he has, in fact, become a pretentious hypocrite, asshole who aspires to act like he was born in Kennebunkport rather than Queens. It's quite pathetic to me to watch his endless parade of skinny blonde models and actresses. He's completely delusional if he thinks his ugly, creepy ass could pull them without the big bucks he has. I'm guessing he's a 4-incher at the most.
Total random hook-up!
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:19pm.
LMAO...kinda looks like it. The guy in the red hat looks kinda hot.
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That's Maxwell. He's so friggin' hot he could sing the knickers off Queen Elizabeth.
oops.
Russell is/was a quasi-pedi so Melissa better keep her eye on his closeet for chirrenz!
And am I going blind or has Kimora's neck been to Jenny Craig?!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Submitted by Junebuggy on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:58pm.
HHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Turtles need love too.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 1:05pm.
Submitted by MIRROR BORE on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:53pm.
That's all fine and dandy but that's Russell Simmon's situation. You should have left race and the Cosby's out of it. You know that white people go from poor to rich and act like assholes too, right? I know you aren't trying to say people shouldn't try to make their lives better and make something out of themselves REGARDLESS of race and their backgrounds? Right? Cause that would just be stupid.
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Yes you're right. Just worded it stupid. I tried to say that what I hate is when anyone acts all 'Mr./Mrs. Perfect' because they attribute that as being the end all, be all of behavior in society. It's just as a kid you grow up watching all this smut on television that can be very detrimental in terms of the manners that people associate as being right and wrong for society.
My apologies if I offended anyone on this board with my previous comments :( I really didn't mean to.
Word has it that Russell loves the "working girls" (just to be polite) back in this day. I had a tenant who worked in a building where he lived once and call girls were going up to his pad.
So Kimora got wind of it and sure enough, didn't want the girls there alone.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Submitted by MIRROR BORE on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:53pm.
That's all fine and dandy but that's Russell Simmon's situation. You should have left race and the Cosby's out of it. You know that white people go from poor to rich and act like assholes too, right? I know you aren't trying to say people shouldn't try to make their lives better and make something out of themselves REGARDLESS of race and their backgrounds? Right? Cause that would just be stupid.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Hubbies come and go but the ugly kids are forever.
Can't wait for the fat Kardashian girl and her ugly Odom hubbie to breed and drop some fugly bambinos.
Think it through before you breed with some ugly ass man.
So we're onto the race thing but nobody mentions the 11 years of marriage thing?
This kind of shit just irritates me. My mother is still married to my stepfather (married for 15 years). He knew she wanted to step out on him so he said fine, and then when she went and found herself a piece 20 years younger it obviously wasn't "fine" anymore. I told her just because people say it's okay doesn't mean it is, nor is it the right thing to do. So she moved from CT to TN to be with her new piece while she is still married, too broke to get a divorce and all the while flashing off her new piece while my stepdad picks up the pieces of their 15 year marriage back home.
I just think it's so tacky and tasteless. Have enough respect for yourself and the other person to just put the damn thing in the ground before you move onto the next thing. If that other person loves you, they will wait. And if you just want to do fucky times, then you're an asshole anyway.
Just so fed up with people like that. Especially when there are kids involved.
I think she's got such a beautiful face. Her new dude, though, what the fuck? He's no Digimon (sorry, I just had to) Hounsou.
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"Most people are average, neither black nor white. They're gray. A dirty shade of gray." - Dmitri Shostakovich
I can't say I have lots of
black friends or gay friends. They are all mostly white, with some Souf Americans and the odd Jew. We're all euro folk (and not euro trash, that expression irritates me) Other than that it's all vanilla. Doesn't mean much, other than the demographics of where I live. Another thing is that gay men just don't really like me, for whatever reason (s).
Anyway, laughing my ass off at the comments here re hotdog neck and Franklin the Turtle - that is so accurate!
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:35pm.
Submitted by MIRROR BORE on Mon, 08/01/2011 -
12:33pm.
I don't think it's racist, but I have never been
able to stomach 'Cosby' Blacks. I love Black
people from all walks of life but I truly think
that just because you're in the money, doesn't
mean that you have to act 'white' all of a
sudden.
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Oh boy. Where do you begin.....
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Uncle Brain-fart, may I assist?
I think what Mirror Bore is trying to say is that just because you're in the money does not mean that you have to start engaging in illegal stock trading (and other white collar crimes), become a greedy deceitful politician, turn into a serial killer, become an organized crime boss, and deal meth. And, really, he has a good point. ;)
I guess what I meant to say is I don't like the attitudes and behaviors of any kind of 'nouveau riche' character in society. I feel it's hypocritical, since you DON'T come from a previously wealthy background to all of a sudden think you're royalty or entitled or something, and what's more to than come back and hurt the people you profess to help escape poverty and debt.
http://clutchmagonline.com/2011/06/phat-fraud-russell-simmons-prepaid-cr...
Who let the racists in here today?
remember when him& kimora got divorced and she requested full custody and supervised visits? the way it was worded made it seem like hes a pervo or something creepy...i wonder why she would do that or what actually happened.
russell always seemed like a nice guy & a good dad during that show they were on. he always seemed level headed and she seemed like a fuckn nutttt. shes such a gold digger mooch...stole the company right out from under him even though he owned it. can't stand that bxtchh.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:40pm.
Don't bother. People love to spew racist crap but try and make it okay by saying things like "but I love black people" or my personal favorite "but I have black friends!". Whatever.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Simmons is gay and so are Hounsou and Kimora. Nice "beard" for both men... I dont know if still available but at one time she was involved with none other than Tyra Banks.
Random couples are eyecandy for me. I would like to start a Learning Annex course on random couples just so I can trick random couples into coming.
Submitted by MIRROR BORE on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:33pm.
I don't think it's racist, but I have never been able to stomach 'Cosby' Blacks. I love Black people from all walks of life...
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Except the ones you mentioned first, right? Idiot.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:35pm.
Right? SMDH.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Diggy Simmons - is his nephew...Reverend Run's kid.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
i thought all those boys belonged the The Rev?
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:31pm.
does RS have any boy kids?
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Never Mind...
Submitted by MIRROR BORE on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:33pm.
I don't think it's racist, but I have never been able to stomach 'Cosby' Blacks. I love Black people from all walks of life but I truly think that just because you're in the money, doesn't mean that you have to act 'white' all of a sudden.
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Oh boy. Where do you begin.....
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Am I the only one who thought she was sucking face with Scatman Carruthers at first glance?? berf!
I don't think it's racist, but I have never been able to stomach 'Cosby' Blacks. I love Black people from all walks of life but I truly think that just because you're in the money, doesn't mean that you have to act 'white' all of a sudden.
/ends talking about Russel Simmons
does RS have any boy kids?
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Djimon Hounsou is so effing hot....she totally took a step up.
Tho I did like to gawk @ Russell & Kimora's gaudy mansion on cribs way back when.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Beautiful kids.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
I am absolutely in LOVE with that yellow dress. Liking the animal print one too...
*throws up lunch*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
kim is gorg.
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Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.
Submitted by Karen Flatts on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 11:52am.
I'm glad that Kimora got that inner tube removed from her neck. She always looked like she was in the middle of swallowing a huge sausage
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How do you think she became a "model"? Swallowing huge sausages made her career.
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LOLOLOLOLOL!
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
Submitted by moomarse on Mon, 08/01/2011 - 12:08pm.
LMAO...kinda looks like it. The guy in the red hat looks kinda hot. Much hotter than that boring, awkward kiss.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Russell is never, ever coming out. i don't judge Melissa, though. she's just trying to eat and this is really a legitimate acting job.
can you surgically fix a hot dog neck? maybe she just lost weight.
moomarse LOL I noticed that too!!!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Whatevs with these peeps.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.