Chris Hansen's Got Hos In Every Area Code
Back in June, The National Enquirer conducted their own To Catch A Cheater investigation and caught Dateline NBC's Chris Hansen putting the condoms and lubes he snatches from pedos to good use by pouring his peen into a TV reporter from Florida who wasn't his wife. Pedobear hasn't stopped dancing on top of the chair Chris told him to have a seat in and he can continue to dance. Another one of Chris' side hos has dropped from the sky and this one is sad in the heart, because she thought she was the only one who he broke his vows on by breaking that coochie. Don't you hate it when true love stories like this don't have a happy ending?
The National Enquirer (via Daily Mail) has pictures of Chris hugging on stripper/aspiring country singer (I wish that was my job title) Kathleen Collins in Las Vegas where she lives, and they claim to have read a few e-mails between the two. Chris and Kathleen aren't down low fucking anymore, but she's still sad that he cheated on her. A source said, "I know this sounds crazy, but Kathleen really thought she was the only one. Kathleen feels like she's been used and betrayed - Chris definitely broke her heart."
Never mind that Kathleen needs to take a course at the Learning Annex on smart whoring, because bitch is just a pathetic kind of dumb for thinking that a married bitch who cheats on his wife with her won't cheat on her. Chris Hansen is really the one I want to send a Son I Am Disappoint postcard to.
Not because Chris is passing the peen. I don't care about that. If man whores didn't pass the peen, Maury wouldn't have been created when a TV producer rubbed two shocking DNA test results together and we wouldn't want that. I'm disappointed, because Chris makes a living off of being a sneaky ho and he gets caught twice! Chris can hold his breath and stand still in a pantry for 5 minutes while the decoy pours a glass of iced tea for the pedo, but bitch can't screw around on his wife without getting caught? The FBI should tackle him on his driveway, put him in plastic cuffs and drag him to a prison trailer just for that. Chris really does give cheating man whores a bad name!