Beyonce, Please Get Your Tongue Out Of GOOP’s Ass

Fishsticks Paltrow’s private in-home colonist is probably wondering why they keep sucking out clumps of wig hair along with pieces from the next GOOP newsletter from her porcelain-glazed asshole, and now they know why. During an interview with Elle, Fishy shoved her head all the way up into Beyonce’s ass, and Beyonce did the same thing to Fishy during an interview with Harper’s Bazaar. The makers of The Human Centipede now have the plot for their next horror show!

The stick that is usually up Fishy’s ass shot out of her mouth when Beyonce’s head bopped up into her b-hole with this comment:

“She pushes her boundaries all the time. You go to her house and she makes you feel like you never want to go home. She is what I strive to be one day.”

Let me fix that for you, Beyonce. “She pushes the boundaries of being absolutely fucking terrible all the time. You go to her house and she makes you feel like you want to go home immediately. Like a prison. She is what gives me hives every day.”

“She is what I strive to be one day.” Sick. Congratulations, Jay-Z’s jizz, that quote just took your title as the grossest thing that has ever shot out of Beyonce’s mouth.

Poke at Basement Baby, because somebody’s going to need to stage a GOOPervention.

via Digital Spy