Attack Of The Clones

On the left is Disney Jr.'s production of The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love, and on the right is the epitome of gayelle love Portia de Rossi and her wife Ellen Degeneres at the totally pointless Teen Choice Awards in L.A. last night. You know, I've always made stupid jokes about how Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are the Muppet Babies (or the toddler brunette) version of Portia & Ellen and were only created to teach the children that lesbian love is a beautiful thing despite what the Faces of Crazy say, but this proves that there's a method to my incoherent ramblings (not really).

This also proves that we can finally get rid of Justin Bieber and send him back to the Canadian Hasbro factory from which he came from if we can only get Usher to buy Ellen's soul when the Canadian dollar dips below the US dollar so that he train her to yodel like a newborn puppy and thrust like a kitten having a seizure. Because if this doesn't happen, it will only be a matter of time before the apocalypse is summoned when Usher agrees to be Justin & Selena's sperm donor. Someone should get on that.

So last night was the Teen Choice Awards, which is only around to remind us that teens shouldn't vote for shit. I mean, voting to give Taylor Swift a lifetime achievement award is making Uncle Sam switch fingers.

Here's a bunch of pictures of some hos you didn't know existed, forgot existed or wish didn't exist. In order: Ty Ty Baby, The Lesbeaver, Rachel Bilson, Rebecca Black, Fergie, Selena Gomez, Ashley Greene, the Kardashian harem, Kowlina Kardashian, Sean Kingston, Blake Lively, Demi Lovato, that one from Glee, Raven, Taylor "Making Marilyn Roll In Her Grave" Swift, Cameron Diaz, Ian Somerhalder, Rupert Grint, Portia & Ellen Jr. and Portia & Ellen.

Splash, Wenn.com, Wireimage

Posted by: Michael K

•

Submitted by derf on Tue, 08/09/2011 - 8:49am.

Why did Selena bother wearing a dress? "Hey, ya'll here's my bra and underwear"! And Beibs can't even offer her his coat if she's cold. VBS (visible bra straps) as so WHITE TRASH, not fashion! I want to carry scissors and cut every one I see on the streets! Buy a racerback! P.S. kitteh with head implant (ad) makes me sad, can someone put a hat on him?

Submitted by kathleenvh on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 10:43pm.

Ugh and i thought i wanted to punch taylor swift in the face before

******************************************************

Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other). - MK

Submitted by pixxxie on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 8:11pm.

Submitted by yepyepyep on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 9:13am.

pixxxie

im with you, I seem Kim K in person and she is tiny tiny and everyone assumes she is fat in pictures, so I just assumed her sister is no big, but they do dress horribly bad for their shapes and body types so maybe people assume they are fat due to that.

"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

These girls are not large by any means.. but you are right on with it.. they dress like such crap.. this is why i doubt any of them have a stylist.. but they need it..

Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 7:06pm.

Submitted by TrashyWilma on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 7:48pm.
Ahh, seems like just yesterday we were watching the little Jenner girls swinging around the brass stripper pole in their mom's room.

"""""""""""""""""""""
Hahahaha!!

Submitted by TrashyWilma on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 6:18pm.

Ahh, seems like just yesterday we were watching the little Jenner girls swinging around the brass stripper pole in their mom's room.

http://smellmybutt.tumblr.com/

Submitted by justincase on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 5:54pm.

Submitted by zomay on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 9:30am.

There is the kids choice awards, the peoples choice awards, the teen choice awards, the critics choice awards, the gay choice awards, the BET choice awards, the old people choice awards . . . and of course the very famous peacock feathers as decorations in glass vases choice awards.

Lol but don't forget the two feral cats in the alley choice awards.

Submitted by Bossy on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 5:04pm.

Submitted by sonah22 on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 5:48pm.

Put your hand on your hip, and now see how skinny that space in between the thumb and fingers is. When you're as skinny as paper, allll of your finger will be in the front, all bent and mangly like. That is scary.

I did that and my fingers disappeared, is that bad? hahaha just kidding. But I see what you're getting at. But yeah it's a measure of skinny but mostly a measure of how small your waist is. I knew a girl who had ~23 inch waist and that mangly finger stuff probably would have occurred with her...but she was a pear and her thighs, hips, and butt told another story.

Submitted by Albatross on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 4:33pm.

Submitted by kieranx on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 8:37am.
So Cameron Diaz is playing The Joker in the new Batman film?

LOL! She is so fugly.

**********
"It's all fun and farts until somebody gets punched." -MK

Submitted by Albatross on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 4:31pm.

Jeebus, with those earrings, he really does look like a lesbian!

**********
"It's all fun and farts until somebody gets punched." -MK

Submitted by sonah22 on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 4:23pm.

These are better examples of too much hand (yes, I have too much time on my hands, and yes I am drinking wine at 630 in the pm):

http://blog.nj.com/entertainment_impact_celebrities/2008/07/large_RECVV....

http://www.denimblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/annalynne-mccord-den...

------------------------------------------------
"...bask again in the beauty CoCo graced Miami Beach with this afternoon. This is what a Christmas ham dinner on the angels' dinner table looks like in heaven. I bet she farts out pineapple rings." -MK

Submitted by sonah22 on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 4:18pm.

Submitted by Bossy on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 5:41pm.

Submitted by sonah22 on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 4:18pm.

Submitted by Bossy on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 5:41pm.

Put your hand on your hip, and now see who skinny that space in between the thumb and fingers is. When you're as skinny as paper, allll of your finger will be in the front, all bent and mangly like. That is scary.

Submitted by Bossy on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 4:11pm.

Selena Gomez really seems to be growing into that big head of hers. Some years back that's all I noticed, BIG head.

Submitted by Bossy on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 4:11pm.

Submitted by sonah22 on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 5:24pm.

Does anyone get what I'm talking about?

Maybe...clarify further, I'm interested.

Submitted by sonah22 on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 3:54pm.

Okay, you know what really grosses me out for some reason? When a girl puts her hand on her hip and all the fingers are in the front so you know she's skinny as PAPER. Look at Desperate Lively's hand. Ew-whenever I see hand on hip like that I want to barf. I do feel happier when more finger shows when I lose weight, but when it's all finger, it's some grip reaper shit.

Does anyone get what I'm talking about?
------------------------------------------------
"...bask again in the beauty CoCo graced Miami Beach with this afternoon. This is what a Christmas ham dinner on the angels' dinner table looks like in heaven. I bet she farts out pineapple rings." -MK

Submitted by Frybread on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 3:38pm.

Fuck I'm tired of that little Taylor Swift chick. There's nothing sexy about a woman-child whose feet look like flippers because her legs are too skinny.

Submitted by mermski on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 3:26pm.

Is Blake Lively stealing clothes from Jodie Marsh's closet? Pretty sure she's wearing the same dress as Jodi in the most recent post about her

Submitted by Juniperjump on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 3:21pm.

You know what's hilarious about these pics. I was just glancing through the thumbnails and saw a big ol' open gob and without even looking at the rest, knew it was Blake Unlively. Sure 'nuff.

Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 2:57pm.

Ellen gets butchier (new word!) everytime I see her.
Not a criticism, just an observation.

*scans chin for stubble*

Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 2:53pm.

Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 9:46am.

Taylor acts like there is something up her skirt that people actually want to see.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""
Hahahaha!!

Submitted by guest on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 2:48pm.

out of the three...kim, kourtney & khloe...kourtney has the best body imo.

******************

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 2:20pm.

I guess Kourtney is pregnant again, or she wants people to think she is with that dress.
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

Submitted by WTF on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 2:15pm.

Those Kardashian whores should NOT pose next to their Jenner sisters.

Submitted by moomarse on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 1:01pm.

this is proof teens do not have one iota of brains in their collective mush heads..... thank GOD they cannot vote!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I guess it's best to end a relationship the same way you start it: absolutely fucking tanked. MK 6/11

Submitted by ponchiks on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 12:31pm.

I actually have to agree with those that are saying that the younger Kardashians are the better looking ones. Yes, to me it is because they are tall and slim, but it's also because they look much more in proportion comparing to their sisters. And I am not a big fan of short, chunky, I mean "curvy", frames.

And poor Fergie, no matter how many new faces she gets she still looks like shit.

Submitted by vidz on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 12:05pm.

@puckbuddy

Omg! I almost missed him. Ian Somerhalder, sexiest, smirki-est vampire in town! I watch the juvenile VD just to drool over him!

*****************************************************

"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 12:03pm.

So this is what it's come to, huh? My dog left more talent in tightly coiled lumps in the back yard than most of those fuckers combined.

☆•☆•☆
Oh thank you warlizard, Fabio feels you have a nice face and a body with the symmetry" - Fabio chatting on Reddit AMA

Submitted by PuckBuddy on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 11:55am.

I love you, Ian Somerhalder.

Submitted by vidz on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 11:49am.

The Jenner girls are so friggin tall! Bruce Jenner isn't tall right? And the one in purple ( LOOVE the dress btw) is towering over Sasquatch, who's like 6ft herself right? Her legs start where Kim K's boobs end.

*****************************************************

"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

Submitted by Whatever on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 11:48am.

Why the fuck were the kardashian beasts invited? Or did they slip the security guards a few bucks to be let in?

Submitted by SoulTaker on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 11:18am.

That cheap bad wig on Tyra looks like she found it wadded up at the bottom of the bargain bin at her local BSS

Submitted by muffintops on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 11:17am.

Bieber is aging like Aaron Carter did.. its getting to get gross.

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 11:16am.

Joining in on the Jenner girls are NOT pretty. I don`t care how skinny they are. They look like Bruce Post Plastic Surgery and how they managed to do THAT is only explained by a pact with the devil. They look like those "living dead Dolls".

http://laura74.altervista.org/lost.jpg

===============================================

"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
--------------------------------------------------
http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs

Submitted by MickeyHolland on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 11:16am.

Justin Bieber is a great rolmodel for young lesbians everywhere. And what is Tyra supposed to be?

---------------------------------------------------------

"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."

Mahatma Gandhi

Submitted by Cat Scratch on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 11:12am.

Also, who could give a shit if Kim's "prettier"...you know, beauty is subjective anyways.

Anyways, much like Paris Hilton I'm sure her glory days will be short-lived. There are pretty girls out there who also happen to have legitimate jobs and personalities out there who'll take her place.

Submitted by Cat Scratch on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 11:10am.

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber are gonna hit the wall harrrrrdd when they get older. There's no way looking like a shellacked, taxidermy chipmunk will ever translate into something once they reach adulthood which is in....what? Like a year?

Gomez didn't used to bother me till she was all "see what drugs do to you?" after my sweet, dear Amy Winehouse died. Sistafriend apparently isn't enlightened to the fact Amy Winehouse produced better music on drugs than she could EVER no matter how sober she is.

Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 11:07am.

I agree that Kim is a thousand times prettier than Kendall and Kylie. Kourtney as well.

_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

Submitted by PinkTransAm on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 11:04am.

Submitted by fishsticksfan on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 11:46am.
Submitted by Danistar on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 11:42am.

Ok, these comments really sicken me. Since when were the cunty little Jenner girls better looking than their older sisters? Because they are thin and tall? PLEASE! It is sad that chunkier girls with prettier faces are looked down upon, while the bitchy, plain-looking girls with no boobs are PRAISED! They are OVERRATED and people will never understand that. I know I may sound hypocritical, as I posted not too long ago about my own desires to lose weight, but even I wouldn't deny that Kim K has a WAY prettier face than BOTH of her half sisters! *little bitches*
-----------------------------

Sadly, dudes would rather fuck a butterface than 'such a pretty FACE.'

***********

I bet 90% of the comments about how much better looking the younger ones are because they are thin come from females. Not that I like any of them, but Kim K is a sex symbol. I know lots of guys with posters of her on their walls. And to me the Jenner girls look like Pimp Mama Kris was hitting the bottle while preggers...their eyes are kinda far apart.

Submitted by Dog on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 10:59am.

Submitted by zachhcaz on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 9:01am.

^^^^^^^^^^

hahahahahah!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.animalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by spankypants on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 10:52am.

Submitted by zachhcaz on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 9:01am.

Love how the 30+-year-old celebrities feel the need to bring the edge to their clothing at the Teenybopper Awards. "Yeah, my shirt's untucked and I'm wearin' a leather cuff. Once, in Reno, I killed a man, just to watch him die."
-------------------------------
What are they doing there anyway? Are the teens going to say how much they missed Tyra and Portia?

Submitted by Athina on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 10:41am.

Submitted by OHPLEAZ on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 11:01am.

I have to say Kendall and Kyle Jenner are much more gorgeous than their sisters! They are so tall and thin!
-----------------------------------------

They're also like 15 and going through puberty and growth spurts. Give them 10 years. They'll be as wide, used-up and disposable as their hideous half-sisters.

Submitted by fishsticksfan on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 10:16am.

Submitted by Danistar on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 11:42am.

Sadly, dudes would rather fuck a butterface than 'such a pretty FACE.'

Submitted by Dog on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 10:16am.

Don't care what anyone says. That one Kardashian - the one who looks like a Wookie - started out life as a dude. Period.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.animalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by Danistar on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 10:12am.

"I make myself sick, get on my own nerves. Immature, insecure grown up nerd."
-Fatlip (The Pharcyde)

Submitted by Dog on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 9:58am.

Justin Bieber looks like a girl and worse, he seems not to realize that whoever dresses him is playing up that fact.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.animalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by Tiddly-Winks on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 9:44am.

wtf is Tyra wearing?! and Fergie? Someone must have told them black & yellow & fug was in! That fucking hair...on both of them! I can't!

Rupert Grint...swoon!

Submitted by OHPLEAZ on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 9:31am.

I have to say Kendall and Kyle Jenner are much more gorgeous than their sisters! They are so tall and thin!

Submitted by kayray on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 9:22am.

This little Bieber thing is a really a girl right? Please say so because otherwise I'm very confused.

Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 9:19am.

I watched that episode DON'T JUDGE where Scott goes back to Vegas and falls off the wagon and totally lies to Kourtney. There was nothing else on TV I SWEAR!! Won't be watching Kim's wedding, I promise.
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."