Who Worked It Better?
On the right is a then 42-year-old Pamela Anderson reliving her Baywatch glory days at a fashion show in 2009, and on the left is 16-year-old porn iguana Courtney Stodden channeling Pamela Anderson in a new photo shoot that took place on the docks using a disposable camera. And if you have a vagina, down below is your chocha cringing at the sight of one of its own getting gagged with a string of red polyester.
It goes without blogging, but Pamela Anderson wins this round and she'll also win again in 30 years when she's wearing the same coochie-choking bathing suit while she drags her saggy labia across the hallway floor of the retirement home for old whores. Pamela might be as rode hard as a mudflap girl on a semi-truck, but she is the petal on a freshly bloomed spring peony compared to Courtney. If you watched a lizard with no birth hole try to lay an egg through its mouth, it still wouldn't look like it was trying as hard as Courtney is in this photo shoot.
Speaking of trying hard, HuffPo has pointed me to the priceless Twatter House of Courtney Stodden. It's like reading an uncomfortable and illegal erotic novel that was inspired by the online chats from To Catch A Predator:
I love these steamy mornings that allow you to erotically roll out of bed in nothing but your cheeky string bikini. Mmm, how electrifying!Just returned from a lovely Sunday morning service @ church today. Kickin back at home now while sporting a HOT mini-retro-jumper! CLASSIC!
Stepped my paws into a sexy wet cat-suit; Prowling mysteriously around the house while lickin' my lips searchin' for some nip! (Ed. note: RACIST!) MEEEOWWW! ;-)
A soft sensation sweetly kisses my body as I prepare for a sexy hot photo shoot this afternoon. What a breathtaking morning it has been! ;-)
Slowly slipping under these sensuous silk covers as I lie down in bed & entertain myself w/the classic movie "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes". XOs
I really should hit Courtney and Doug Hutchison (who probably is the one who wrote those Tweets) with a copyright infringement lawsuit, because this is pretty much the same awkward, opposite of sexy shit I used to write when I worked as a typist for web cam girls back in the day. No wonder they fired my ass.
• 
both look riddled with STDs
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 11:14am.
HEY DUMB BITCH - GOD DOESN'T SAVE WHORES!
*stomps around with pitch fork*
***********
Serious?
*takes off "WHORE FOREVER" shirt*
Ewwww! She is trying way too hard to be sexy.
Either you have it or you don't. But I guess she's still too childlike in the mind to realize that.
Okay I finally realized, after reading those hacky, cliched and cringe inducing 'sexy' tweets, that this Courtney whore IS 16. HER IQ, THAT IS. I still think the rest of her is at least 35+.
First off, NO WAY she's 16 I think she's just pandering to the pervy pedos out there that want to bang highschool chicks.
Secondly there is nothing remotely attractive about this Ho. This coming from a guy who loves his porn. I hate fake blondes with fake tits. I rather see the girl next door average looking HO that this fake assed California Barbie doll
This is hilarious
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ollxUNR38yg
He is sooo MK's soul mate/beautiful blessing :P
Ha and ha. I have this friend who is an aspiring glamour model (and current stripper) and her Facebook status' always sound like this shit. The guys following her- cyber-ly and literally, lap that shit up. The dumb leading the moronic.
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Submitted by Slurpee on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 10:41am.
This kind of dumb must take work.
For real. Lifelong dedication if anything.
This alley-cat is overstaying her welcome in the gutter.
Will someone turn the hose on her so she can go home!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
CourtneyStodden Courtney Stodden
What a sensuous Saturday morning this is: The whimsical palm trees are lightly swaying, while the soft breeze sweetly kisses my body. Mmm...
6 Aug
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b*tch get out of my patio!!!!
Coma Caca!
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There is NO WAY this whore is 16 years old.
I'm sorry, she's just not.
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All together now: FUCK MY LIFE. - The One-and-Only Michael K- 6/17/11
HEY DUMB BITCH - GOD DOESN'T SAVE WHORES!
*stomps around with pitch fork*
Wow. 16 today has come a long way, baby.
Let's hear it for the woman's (sic) liberation!
@ 16 I was flatter than Kansas. I had acne down my back & ass cheeks and had to change the elastics on my braces nearly daily due to Kool-Aid staining.
Seriously. WTF is this???
<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>
"okayyy lets not make a goddess out of Maria Shiver now. It's from her bitch face that she is a cunt." - cuntwhore (2011-08-08)
She makes Pam look 23 again. Enough with this bitch. She's more useless than Lindsay Lohan!
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What kind of fuckery is this?
uuuuggghhh. i kind of hope doug is writing those tweets because somehow that would be less disturbing. somehow...
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
I think she should stop the famewhore game, and embrace her soon-to-be porn career. Jeez. Felt like i was reading Jenna Jameson's twitter !
"I want total sensory deprivation and back-up drugs!"
She's disturbing. No "16" year-old should be so sexualized. Obvious product of abuse.
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Douchechill!
Submitted by Jeanneee on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 10:54am.
"Heaven help this busted child..."
_______________________
ITA.
(And the kitty in your avie is BEYOND the Cuteness! ♥)
<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>
"okayyy lets not make a goddess out of Maria Shiver now. It's from her bitch face that she is a cunt." - cuntwhore (2011-08-08)
If that trick is 16 I'm an ovum.
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Cure for cramps: weed. Weed for everything, really.- Bjork You
this poor child, either she has been sexually abused and made to be a sex kitten, or someone is writing this for her.
I mean you are not a virgin and on your first guy talking about your lace underwear in the heat, it is just disturbing in so many levels, I just hope this is a publicity stunt (I went to her twitter) and I truly feel sorry for her, I almost cried.
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Hey, as long as she does it in 'lucite kitten heels' she's got my blessings.
Ha!! I knew there was more to this trick than gallons of peroxide and, to quote Lenny Leonard, 'lips that look like night crawlers'.
Those tweets are pure poetry. I love over-the-top, pseudo-sexual, low-rent haiku.
And yes. I would. Hard. Just like daddy.
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Submitted by Molotov Cocktease on Thu, 08/04/2011 - 6:39pm.
"ZOMG I love the peen, I just want to lick on it all day long nom nom nom"
CourtneyStodden Courtney Stodden
Just learned how to do the splits... Figured I'd need to know how to do that trick sooner or later! Who knew my legs were so flexible?! ;-)
9 Aug
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????????????????????????????????????
Coma Caca!
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I can honestly say, she makes my 35 year old ass look like a fucking newborn.
I was even carded this weekend. :D
Course, who knows, dude might just have been trying to make me feel better.
I doubt her 16 year old (coughcough) ass would even be second guessed for a 40 year old hooker.
Pippa will finally happen before this girl.
"I've had an awful lot of lovers ... And a lot of awful lovers." - Shirley MacLaine
I'm sitting here in this hot, steamy church, massaging my glistening... *projectile vomits*
aaand I said all that without reading the tweets.
can someone 5150 this bitch and more importantly, euthanize her parents? a little drano in her pedo husband's morning cereal wouldn't be a bad idea either.
what about those tweets isn't indicative of a victim of severe sexual abuse?
They should both be dipped in a huge vat of Purell.
Is that a tattoo on her 40 yr old arm?
If that whore is 16 I am 17
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/
16 in dog years, maybe. Homegirl needs to stop with the pseudo-sexy poses, she looks like a constipated porn star. And her pedo husband just gives me the creeps.
reeks of "look at me! look at me!!!"
no thanks.
next.
dude...why are you giving this flea bitten whore any press. this girl is very fucked up, very brainwashed...and I'd like a return to the days when victims of sexual abuse were given therapy and sympathy, not photo shoots and magazine covers. the fact that she's 16 and she doesn't know how much of a sleazy whore she looks like and how much of a pedo creep her so-called husband looks like is sad...Maury Povich sad.
all I want to see is a follow up tape of her saying "I looked at myself and realized that I look like disgusting pedo bait, quit my handler -er- husband, got my GED and enrolled at the Sawyer School and now I'm a medical assistant". Because fo sho', medical assisting has a lot more honor and dignity than this.
No-one did this shit like Farrah so both of these idiots should just go away.
________________________________
Dark-sided!
Heaven help this busted child. She is straight nasty and that yucky old peepaw she's married to obviously never learned shame.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
If this dumb ho is 16, isn't this child porn?
Puleez! Bitch DID NOT write this!
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Riding shotgun with the Thought Police... What you say may be used against you.
Someone muzzle this bitch and lop off her hands so she can't tweet.
Stupid cunt.
Ugh what a waste of peroxide this bitch is! huh?
Makes my menstrual cramps bother me even more.
I need OP now.. cause.. well... I have quezzztionzzz
and my doctor won't replay to my email. cause he just got back from vacations. And he has appointments until tomorrow!! I am dying for an answer even if you send me to a voodoo doc. That will do pig, that will do.
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/
I shouldn't have read those tweets while I was eating. Seriously.
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Douchechill!
Oh just write a trashy horrible romance novel already. She makes it sound like she's masturbating with a DVD!
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
pammy definitely wins...the hooker on the left is fooling no one with that "i'm 16 years old" bullshit...
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...
Submitted by Preferred Username on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 10:46am.
Yeah. You're leaving. Sure thing.
Pam looks younger than Courtney. If she's really 16 it must absolutely SUCK to look at least 20 years older.
Submitted by thegobbler on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 10:47am.
flounce
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Where the hell did this word come from?
I'm on the damn internet every damn day and this word just popped outta nowhere and errbuddy uses it like it's been there forever. WTF DUDES - nobody could email me a memo?!?
♥ Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0
Gross.
That is all.
flounce
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"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
Um. I'm leaving the D for good. I been 'round these parts for a while and it's gone too blech for me. I have an addictive gene and I check this shite out every 20 seconds or something. When I saw this ho up, it made me realize I have an illness. Thanks to all to have been kind to me in the past. Good luck snowy, fishy, stoney and M.E. I'm going to be found now only IRL. Take care, MK, loved you while it lasted.
This whore is beyond ridiculous.
www.petfinder.com - enter your zip code to find adoptable pets in your area.
www.animalrescuesite.com - click everyday to help feed animals in shelters.
That one BUSTED face.
yeeesh!
Pammy was so gorgeous for about 15 years.....
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The 'good old days' weren't always good, and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems....
-Billy Joel "Keeping The Faith"
On the one hand, Twitter must die. On the other hand--well, there is no other hand.
But Courtney's ( . Y . ) are riiillll!
Submitted by Meatblocks on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:16pm.
suckandfuck and raul are like the goofus and gallant of sick humor.
the best.
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I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.