Tuesday, August 16th 2011

Who Worked It Better?

On the right is a then 42-year-old Pamela Anderson reliving her Baywatch glory days at a fashion show in 2009, and on the left is 16-year-old porn iguana Courtney Stodden channeling Pamela Anderson in a new photo shoot that took place on the docks using a disposable camera. And if you have a vagina, down below is your chocha cringing at the sight of one of its own getting gagged with a string of red polyester.

It goes without blogging, but Pamela Anderson wins this round and she'll also win again in 30 years when she's wearing the same coochie-choking bathing suit while she drags her saggy labia across the hallway floor of the retirement home for old whores. Pamela might be as rode hard as a mudflap girl on a semi-truck, but she is the petal on a freshly bloomed spring peony compared to Courtney. If you watched a lizard with no birth hole try to lay an egg through its mouth, it still wouldn't look like it was trying as hard as Courtney is in this photo shoot.

Speaking of trying hard, HuffPo has pointed me to the priceless Twatter House of Courtney Stodden. It's like reading an uncomfortable and illegal erotic novel that was inspired by the online chats from To Catch A Predator:

I love these steamy mornings that allow you to erotically roll out of bed in nothing but your cheeky string bikini. Mmm, how electrifying!

Just returned from a lovely Sunday morning service @ church today. Kickin back at home now while sporting a HOT mini-retro-jumper! CLASSIC!

Stepped my paws into a sexy wet cat-suit; Prowling mysteriously around the house while lickin' my lips searchin' for some nip! (Ed. note: RACIST!) MEEEOWWW! ;-)

A soft sensation sweetly kisses my body as I prepare for a sexy hot photo shoot this afternoon. What a breathtaking morning it has been! ;-)

Slowly slipping under these sensuous silk covers as I lie down in bed & entertain myself w/the classic movie "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes". XOs

I really should hit Courtney and Doug Hutchison (who probably is the one who wrote those Tweets) with a copyright infringement lawsuit, because this is pretty much the same awkward, opposite of sexy shit I used to write when I worked as a typist for web cam girls back in the day. No wonder they fired my ass.

Posted by: Michael K


fuzzyslippers's picture

GACK!! Talk about uncomfortable tweets!

angel_i's picture

Ssssso many SSSSSSSsssssssss's Sssssssso sssssssssnake-like you are, Dougie.

♥ Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0

babybunny's picture

yech..this bitch Cunty Stud is repulsive and so fucking fake..she makes Pammy and the Empress look beyond natural. Still I say no freaking was is this ho 16..no way...and I love the way she throws church in this mess...God just gave her the serious side eye on that twat she wrote...btw, he also wants nothing to do with this fuckery...I don't know I think this bitch is plain and rather on the fugly side...the oldest ass 16 year old on the planet more like 16 going on 49 if you ask me...major major sexy FAIL.

Darknight's picture

Wow her parents are a special sort of sick to let this girl be paraded as some sort of sexy kitty object for pervs.

LOL @ the tweets.

And the church tweet, how very christian of her. Reminds me of this chick:

http://www.dreamindemon.com/2011/08/11/woman-almost-loses-hand-during-se...

Slurpee's picture

This kind of dumb must take work.

The split infinitives! The Beta programming!
The humanity!

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"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"

Sweetas's picture

Ahahaha!! Judging from her expression, I'd say the suit is yanking pubes at an exponential rate.

Fucking LAME-UH.

Trying way too hard. How embarrassing.

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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate

Chirio's picture

AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH excuse me, I need to go outside and roll around the lawn outside the office. LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!

Coma Caca!
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suckandfuck's picture

REPORTED

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

Twat Muffin's picture

Oh, good god. I can't help but believe this is just the beginning of a whole lot of shit we'll see from this little 'ho. She looks like a 40-year old day shift stripper that turns tricks off the turnpike.

NovaNightly's picture

BWHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.....her twitter is MAGICAL!!

+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+

"If when you die you get a choice between pie heaven and regular heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick but if not mmmboy!"

DirtyWhoreMouth's picture

I hate this idiot.
______________________________________________
"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

ISprainedMyUvula's picture

Hahahahahahahahaha! Such a desperate hag at 16. GTFO and stop trying to make yourself happen.

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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma

angel_i's picture

LOL! I plopped that exact same picture on her page on FB and told her how lucky she was as some women wait their WHOLE LIVES to look like that!;p

♥ Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0