Hilary Duff's Fetus Saves The Day!
To me, Hilary Duff still looks like a 14-year-old child wearing a plastic cartoon chipmunk mask, so when one of the shameless butchers of Hollywood cast the walking veneers as Bonnie Parker in a remake of Bonnie & Clyde, I pretty much knew that mess was going to look like some Bugsy Malone shit. Just children playing with plastic guns. Even Faye Dunaway verbally whipped Hilary in the teefs with a wire hanger when she said that they should've cast a "real actress" instead. But thanks to the Canadian block of fetus meat forming in Hilary's womb, the world has been spared from some foolish shit. TMZ reports that the producers of Bonnie & Clyde aren't even trying to cover up Hilary's ever growing baby pack with potted plants or briefcases, because they have dropped her on her knocked up ass.
A source says that the director and producers cut Hilary from the movie as soon as she announced that she's pregnant. The source went on to say, "Hilary won’t be available until next June. If we could wait we would.” Kevin Zegers was supposed to play Clyde, but he's out too due to scheduling conflicts.
TMZ points out that Hilary could pull a Hunter Tylo by throwing a lawsuit at the producers for discriminating against her fetus.
Oh, shit. I hope Hilary sues those whores for the entire budget of the movie and wins, so that they can't cast Blake Lively as Bonnie and some little Nickelodeon asshole as Clyde. We need a movie remake of Bonnie & Clyde as much as I need a pregnant dog's nipple in my ass. The only new version of Bonnie & Clyde I want is a one-woman one that Faye Dunaway will have to perform in the basement of a church in Queens, because she needs rent money in a bad way.
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*ferociously scrubbing dog nipple image off eyeballs*
When will I learn NOT to click...
Actually, I guess this needs an update. Someone on TMZ posted an article from somewhere else (of course, can't remember *where*) that someone from the production company said this was all untrue. They're still planning to use Hil, the other guy I don't know about. Didn't mention him.
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"Just because Kim's face was knighted with a big black sword golden shower arch doesn't mean she's royalty!" - MK. I <3 U !
Hilary Duff movies are always terrible. If she's in a film, you automatically know it's going straight to NetFlix.
http://smellmybutt.tumblr.com/
Submitted by caprica six on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 3:35pm
ITA! They need to leave good movies alone. Remake the bad shit and try to make it good or something, damn.
Lohan? You guys must have drank White Oprah's koolaid. That chick is a mess. She won't show up for work or she'll show up too drunk to function. There's no need to enable her by giving her a job to just further fund her drinking/drug habits.
Submitted by Bree on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 3:13pm.
Hollywood is also planning on remaking Total Recall with Colin Farrell in it and rebooting Blade Runner.
Fuck my life.
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Bree, saw that over the weekend about the Blade Runner remake. They better step the fk off with that idea. I hate hollywood. Leave well enough alone! Bah!
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"You dumb bitch, I am home." -MK to Brooke's crybaby 'daddy-puts-the-lotion' ass
Hollywood is also planning on remaking Total Recall with Colin Farrell in it and rebooting Blade Runner.
Fuck my life.
Bonnie & Clyde is a masterpiece. You can't remake a masterpiece.
Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 1:18pm.
"Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 11:39am.
Usually when you do get knocked up, and the role calls for a non-knocked up actress, they recast. Not really a huge scandal here."
Exactly. Annette Bening had to drop out the role as Catwoman in 'Batman Returns' for the same reason. I'm sure there's probably at least a dozen other examples and no one got sued.
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EXACTLY! I doubt Duff cares one way or the other.
"Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 11:39am.
Usually when you do get knocked up, and the role calls for a non-knocked up actress, they recast. Not really a huge scandal here."
Exactly. Annette Bening had to drop out the role as Catwoman in 'Batman Returns' for the same reason. I'm sure there's probably at least a dozen other examples and no one got sued.
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If love had a dick I would eff with it. But it doesn't (it has a no crotch like Barbie).
"Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 11:39am.
Usually when you do get knocked up, and the role calls for a non-knocked up actress, they recast. Not really a huge scandal here."
Exactly. Annette Bening had to drop out the role as Catwoman in 'Batman Returns' for the same reason. I'm sure there's probably at least a dozen other examples and no one got sued.
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If love had a dick I would eff with it. But it doesn't (it has a no crotch like Barbie).
How does this chick get a chipmunk mask mention and the chipmunk of all chipmunks, Amanda Bynes, does not (at least not that I can remember)? Bynes looks like she's storing nuts for a fucking Siberian winter in those cheeks.
It might be worth it to see her get machine-gunned in slo-mo at the end. But the previous two hours would be hellacious.
No need to remake this, especially not with beautiful Hollywood types. They could at least make a biopic that is somewhat close to reality. Bonnie and Clyde were average looking, dumb thugs.
Can anyone top hysterical Estelle Parsons as Blanche Barrow???? No!
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Wednesday, January 28th 2009
Faye Dunaway Speaks The Truth
Monday, August 22nd 2011
Hilary Duff's Fetus Saves The Day!
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2,5 years + maybe another 0,5-1 before Faye Dunaway bitched about Duff. I can understand that filmprojects may take a while before they start, but usually all is set when they cast people, so another fake whatever. And I'm not the slightest exited about this movie, don't know why the producers and whatnots think that anybody would be interested. Is anyone interested?
It still could make sense that they canned her because she is preggo. I doubt she announced it to the masses until she was done with the 1st trimester. She might have told them right away..which could have been May.
Yeah, I'm this bored. ha.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Production companies build clauses for eventualities like this in their contracts...Hillary will be paid since they are releasing her from her contract, but I doubt they'll have to go to court. It's not discrimination, it is business as usual Hollywood style. Hillary is the one disrupting production with her planned or unplanned pregnancy when she was already in the middle of making a movie...so the studio is losing a lot of dough either way.
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"When you open up your vagina to a billionaire and a baby comes out, it is your responsibility to get as much money out of that motherfucker as possible!" - MK
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 12:13pm.
Bonnie Parker was a horse-faced bitch.
Cast Mr. Ed as Bonnie Parker.
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Or maybe Sarah Jessica Parker, since they're obviously related.
Was just going to post that Blohan would be perfect for this part, but I see you guys' are right on it, as usual.
M.E. to hell with the uninsurable part; just get the bitch in there drunk and raising hell on the set, and who knows, she might just go out bonnie style and forget that them bullets may not be rubber (cause she was too drunk/high). It's kind of been a bit of a downturn in trainwrecks. Kinda ready for a flareup. =P
*fk I'm so ebil on Mondays*
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"You dumb bitch, I am home." -MK to Brooke's crybaby 'daddy-puts-the-lotion' ass
I could see Keira Knightly in this role.
** http://feministguidetohollywood.blogspot.com **
Whatever happened to Sweet Baby Faye Dunaway btw?
I think the world can wait another year or 20 for a craptastic remake of a movie that doesn't need to be remade in the first place. Besides, NO ONE they cast will be able to top Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway in their primes anyway.
But if a movie must be made, then give it to LiLo...in her own words she is a "responsible actress in good standing with the Screen Actors Guild" HAHAHA...if for no other purpose than to see her get shot countless times. And the real Bonnie was as busted in the face as LiLo is now.
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"When you open up your vagina to a billionaire and a baby comes out, it is your responsibility to get as much money out of that motherfucker as possible!" - MK
Has everyone forgotten that Blohan is uninsurable?
Plus WHY would any director, producer, etc., waste their time casting someone who is not viewed upon well in the public eye?
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 11:46am.
There's no need to remake this. ESPECIALLY with Hilary Duff.
Could Hollywood put the devil worshipping drug fueled orgies on hold for a moment and have a brainstorming session where they...I dunno...actually produce an original idea or two??
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Here's why that doesn't happen: It all comes down to math/money/numbers. If a movie was a box office success, they will make a sequel or a remake. Rather than bringing to life an awesome new screenplay. The public thinks it's stupid. But the suits go, "We have to go with what's bankable." Like PG-13 is more bankable than R. Even though most people wanna see R.
Even Anchor Man 2 got turned down by the movie studios, and that's because the original Anchor Man didn't blow up until it came out on DVD. I admit, I didn't see it until it came out on DVD. And it's ANCHORMAN for fuck's sake. But that's a sequel that the public actually wants.
Anyway, the movie studios are big on remakes and sequels because they are guaranteed money makers. Except for Anchorman 2. Goddamnit.
They have the same story from back in May before she was pregnant. How could she sue?
http://www.tmz.com/2011/05/05/hilary-duff-bonnie-and-clyde-movie-the-sto...
Bonnie Parker was a horse-faced bitch.
Cast Mr. Ed as Bonnie Parker.
http://www.pbase.com/orangecones/bonnieclyde
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkien.
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AHAHAHAHAHA this dudes eyes!
http://www.tmz.com/2011/08/22/matt-hardy-mug-shot-dwi-drunk-driving-arre...
This movie should never be remade, but IF they did, Naomi Watts should do it.
*chanting as always*
Good choice for the Alice role as well Nanners. Right up Lilo's alley...which coincidentally is the name of her next film.
She was booted from the Bonnie role months ago. TMZ needs to start checking their stories before they post them.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 11:41am.
Dude, I was totally serious saying that Lilo could be Bonnie. There are VERY few roles she can pull off and bad ass Bonnie would be perfect for a dirty ho like Lohan.
I've also proposed her to play the lead role in the big screen adaptation of Go Ask Alice.
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What kind of fuckery is this?
I have to thank you MK for not being all up in the Kardashian fuck fest the weekend. From the looks of it and the sad gues list it was an C/ D Los dump of humanity. I hope this is the begining of the end for all of them.
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
There's no need to remake this. ESPECIALLY with Hilary Duff.
Could Hollywood put the devil worshipping drug fueled orgies on hold for a moment and have a brainstorming session where they...I dunno...actually produce an original idea or two??
Why should she be able to sue? There are probably over a hundred people who need to collaborate on this, and because Lizzie McGuire failed Trojans 101, they all have to wait for her to get it together? People get cut from movies all the time for various reasons. Like the redheaded Twilight girl and Eric Stoltz in Back to the Future.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Well Faye Dunaway is a ferocious grumpy cunt, but she is right about HilDuff not being able to act.
Q - why do I click on MK's links? WHY?
Submitted by Nanners on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 11:28am.
I can see Lilo in the role of Bonnie. It would be great to see her shot in the eye at the end. SPOILER ALERT!
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Hey Nanners, I think Lilo actually is way better casting this role. I know you think I might be smoking a little Benicio rock today but having someone with a "bad" background would lend the character a little credibility. I think Hillary is way too goodie two shoes to pull off a bad girl Bonnie role. Lilo with baggage and all is not that bad of an actor and I'd believe her as Bonnie more than I would Hillary.
Hillary Duff as the same problem as Beyonce (and most of the Disney crowd) as an actress. It's not that they're bad actors it is that they aren't believable human beings. They don't know how to act natural as themselves, how could they act natural as a character?
Whatever. That baby will bring a bigger payday in the long run. Get that child support, Hilary!
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It's not that serious.
Usually when you do get knocked up, and the role calls for a non-knocked up actress, they recast. Not really a huge scandal here.
One of the most brilliant casts ever assembled. Dunaway, Beatty, Gene Hackman, Gene Wilder, Estelle Parsons (in one of the best performances ever). They could rerelease it as is. It's like remaking Gone With the Wind.
In bigger news, Hillary Duff is still working!
I can't hate Hilary. From 10-16 I spent watching Lizzie and all those movies she put out. I grew up with her. I wish her all the best!
ah, she's got plenty of money, and is not so great an actress. Raise your baby Hilary. We won't miss you.
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But we're never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy
I can see Lilo in the role of Bonnie. It would be great to see her shot in the eye at the end. SPOILER ALERT!
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What kind of fuckery is this?