Trace Cyrus Is Spawning
Didn't Brenda Song's trainer teach her to always use a saddle (aka Trojan horse condom) when going horseback riding? I guess not, because Celebuzz is saying that inside of 23-year-old Brenda Song's womb a tiny fetus is putting its little tiny fetus hooves together and praying that the Song gene is its dominant one. A source tells them that Brenda, who was in some Disney crap and The Social Network, pulled some Catherine the Great shit on 22-year-old Trace Cyrus' horse dick and now she's going to birth out an Asian centaur that will gallop out of her pussy in a few months. Brenda led a horse to her vagina and it did more than DRANK.
While I NEEEEEIGH at the image of Auntie Noah and Auntie Miley try to pull an apple off of a tree to feed it to their nephew Flicka, read what Celebuzz had to say about this mess:
Big congrats to Brenda Song and Trace Cyrus! The couple is expecting their first child together, Celebuzz can exclusively report.
“They are beyond thrilled,” a source tells us. “They are about eight weeks along.”
The Social Network star and Miley Cyrus‘ brother have been quietly seeing each other for several months, but made their first appearance together on the red carpet at Nylon Magazine’s party in early May.
Trace’s publicist could not be reached for comment.
This Emo bestiality shit was probably Equus' original ending, but even Peter Shaffer knew he was going too far.
Well, the good news is that first time birth shouldn't be that bad for Brenda. All she has to do is shove a live snake up her ass and that hapa foal will come galloping for ITS LIFE out of her coochie before you can say "sugar cube." And if Babies 'R Us hasn't already stocked their shelves with newborn feedbags and baby hooves for Kimbo Stewart's baby, now might be a good time to do so.
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Saw this reaction on Twitter.
So are Disney going to make Secretariat 2 when Trace Cyrus and his bird have their baby? #itsbecausehelookslikeahorseright?
This is the biggest cup of pure WTF served to me in a long time, I can't even handle it.
It could have been worse. At least he didn't get Peaches Geldof preggo.
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My Momma didn't raise no fools. She sent them off to foster care.
Hope the kid looks like her.
Maybe she likes it horsey style?
Submitted by Poopele on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 9:52pm.
You fucking win the Interwebs!
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Poopele on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 9:52pm.
Not the first Song that has been totally fucked by one of the Cyrus clan
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Hahahaha!! You've been very funny lately - new prescriptions?
All kinds of ewwwwwww.
*goes back to hiding under desk whilst sucking on thumb*
Hopefully the baby doesn't get his mug!
@ jintess..I didn't see crybaby but I did see "female trouble!" That (and serial mom" I love.
Not the first Song that has been totally fucked by one of the Cyrus clan.
I like Brenda Song. Good luck to her and her baby.
Trying to figure out which of the two of them has worse self esteem issues.
Submitted by thegobbler on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 8:53pm.
He has sizemeat face.
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Ney. *snorts and paws at the ground*
lol. love!!! to see the gobbler.
*warbles like a turkey and asks you to pass the green bean casserole*
....loves you.
*puts on eatin' dress and passes out with heart shaped gravy stain on moo-moo*
Maybe they can call the kid Mare-y.
Yep, he's ugly...but you dig what you dig :)
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"He is the ultimate cunt. He is like the samurai of cuntiness, where he slices you so razor thin you don't even realize till you see the blood" - misslainey on Kunty Karl
Let's hope she has a boy. Boys take after their moms.
As for the whole "accidental" pregnancy thing, one thing nobody seems to have thought of is that maybe she wanted to get knocked up. Maybe she's trying to escape Disney's clutches, maybe she's just stupid and thinks a wittle baby would be cool, whatever.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
SIZEMEAT FACE!!!
Bwahahaha
Yeah...I honestly don't get how this happens. I lived with someone for 4-1/2 years, had a LOT of unprotected sex (i was on the Pill, but we didn't use condoms), and never once had an opps. And if I had, I would have taken the morning after pill!
Submitted by Callan on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 7:58pm.
Submitted by Anonymouse73 on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 7:57pm.
Can you imagine fucking this dude?
I don't want to be rude, but EEEEEK.
Ok, so genetics are unfair, but do you have to make it worse by tattooing the shit out of your face, having the worst haircut ever, and all the piercing and crap?
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EXACTLY! It's like he just thought, "Fuck it, I'm not attractive, so rather than try to work with what I got, I'm just going to make myself look as unattractive as fucking possible."
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Well said, both of you. Pretending for a minute that I'm blind to his awful tattoos, I think if he just had short hair, he'd look much better. His Joan Jett haircut exaggerates the length of his face.
Little things can make a big difference to appearance. But so can not getting ugly tattoos on your FACE!
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Submitted by putas on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 9:18pm.
Does he have prison tear tattoos on his face? Fucking seriously?
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If those are prison tears, they were done wrong.
Cripes, hasn't anyone seen "Crybaby"?
Submitted by putas on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 9:18pm.
Does he have prison tear tattoos on his face? Fucking seriously?
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They look like music notes to me. ♪♫
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"Your ignorance makes me ill and angry. Your savageness...must...end."
Hopefully the baby will look like her...or at least enough of her genes will help balance the kids head to a more normal shape.
Oh my god.
That girl.
I cannot stand her.
I'm glad she's pregnant.
So that maybe she'll never act again and devote her entire life to her child.
Too bad he didn't impregnate Anne Hathaway, then I would have known who to place my money on in the Kentucky Derby in a few years.
Does he have prison tear tattoos on his face? Fucking seriously?
And I hate "they are 8 weeks along" no bitch, SHE is I weeks along. What is this new PC "we're pregnant?" Shit too. The woman is doing the heavy work here. Fuck that shit. All he did was shoot his fucking wad.
With her enormous dinner plate face and his ten foot-long horse face that child is already fucked.
Submitted by Zonko on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 7:16pm.
How fucking hard is it to swallow 1 fucking birth control pill every day ?
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I don't get it. I'm 31 and I've been fucking for at least fifteen years with over a dozen men. I have NEVER been pregnant. If the condom fell off, I got the morning-after pill. I've fucked one man in my life without a condom and believe me, I was on birth control. I really, really don't want kids so I take it pretty seriously.
It's baffling that anybody could accidentally become pregnant in this century.
Ewww and why?! and who announces a preganancy only 8 weeks in? Isn't telling that early bad luck?
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
uuuummmmmmm............trying to find the words.
He has sizemeat face.
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"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
I just went on his shiteous clothing site and Brenda is the female model. Damn, talk about dickmatized.
At first I thought Oh NO, that poor kid. BUT, then I thought of little Stella Spelling Mcdermott. If that little kid can fluke her way out of getting Tori's fug genes then ANYTHING is possible. I still cannot believe that Stella looks so much like her father, Dean. He may be a douche but he is goodlooking. Poor Tori is ugly as hell and yet her daughter skipped inheriting the Spelling fugness.
There is hope for this wee baby (fetus)!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 8:33pm.
HOW does she fuck him? She is beautiful.
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She feeds him some sugarcubes and has him fuck her from behind.
No. Please no. I LIKE THIS GIRL. Little Starr07 Jr. LIKES THIS GIRL and I APPROVE/used to approve and allowed Starr Jr. to watch the Disney show she's on.
Now what am I supposed to tell her? TELL ME People, WHAT do you want me to tell her? WHAT???
HOW does she fuck him? She is beautiful.
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I'm happy that Ray-J's admitting his guilt. To be fair, he had accomplices OJ Simpson and Ryan Seacrest, but they're both already imprisoned--one in jail, one in the closet.
- IDLYITW
I dunno, I have a weird as hell feeling that the kid'll be gorgeous. With her short face, plus his long-ass one, it might work out.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't hit back, just keep thrusting. Make that transfer, bitch!- MK 7/26/11
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 8:23pm.
I say neigh!
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Love,
Sarah Jessica Parker
That guy is damn ugly. Damn, he got hit with the ugly stick HARD.
Submitted by Zonko on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 7:16pm.
How fucking hard is it to swallow 1 fucking birth control pill every day ?
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Thank you! Us mortals manage to do it. You'd think these hos like Kimberly Stewart would at least get the implant or have their uterus removed. Can't Diddy and KFed afford comdoms?
I say neigh!
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 8:12pm.
It doesn't happen as much as later, but it happens. Just look at poor Lily allen.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 8:12pm.
What the fuck is wrong with that girl? Her parents must be LIVID.
Also, they are young and don't realize how many pregnancies end in miscarriage before 12 weeks. Like 75% of the women I know had miscarriages before they had a viable pregnancy. Not that I wish that on anyone, but it happens a LOT. But maybe it doesn't happen to younger women, I don't know. It happened to all the 30-something women I know - myself included!
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Happens to young ones, too. My 1st pregnancy was miscarried & I was 21 or 22.
Nephew Flicka ftw. Bwaaaaaahahahah!
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 8:12pm.
What the fuck is wrong with that girl? Her parents must be LIVID.
Also, they are young and don't realize how many pregnancies end in miscarriage before 12 weeks.
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Ditto and ditto! Announcing at eight weeks is waaaaay too early. Hell, get dressed and brush your hair first.
And damn, Brenda Song, you could do SO much better!
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This episode brought to you by the letter SHUTUP.
What the fuck is wrong with that girl? Her parents must be LIVID.
Also, they are young and don't realize how many pregnancies end in miscarriage before 12 weeks. Like 75% of the women I know had miscarriages before they had a viable pregnancy. Not that I wish that on anyone, but it happens a LOT. But maybe it doesn't happen to younger women, I don't know. It happened to all the 30-something women I know - myself included!
Attention KMart shoppers: "Would Skank and Pickle please report to the photo booth?"
http://www.unicorn-dream.co.uk/destrier/Graphics/Gallery/Fourlegs.jpg
Submitted by Anonymouse73 on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 7:57pm.
Can you imagine fucking this dude?
I don't want to be rude, but EEEEEK.
Ok, so genetics are unfair, but do you have to make it worse by tattooing the shit out of your face, having the worst haircut ever, and all the piercing and crap?
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EXACTLY! It's like he just thought, "Fuck it, I'm not attractive, so rather than try to work with what I got, I'm just going to make myself look as unattractive as fucking possible."
Can you imagine fucking this dude?
I don't want to be rude, but EEEEEK.
Ok, so genetics are unfair, but do you have to make it worse by tattooing the shit out of your face, having the worst haircut ever, and all the piercing and crap?
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 7:40pm.
WTF is wrong with his face? Are those stickers or tats?
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Face tats. Apparently that's a thing now. A stupid, stupid thing.