What Did Kimbo Stewart And Benicio Del Toro Name Their Love Child?
In case you flushed out the image of Benicio Del Toro's wolf sperm galloping toward one of Kimbo Stewart's equine eggs as the entire animal kingdom cheered at the making of a new hybrid, let me remind you that they made raw sex with each other and also made a baby that she birthed out over the weekend. Benicio and Kimbo still haven't officially released the name of their spawn since they're waiting for his packmaster Raoul to christen the name as he holds their baby up to the moon and howls with her. But Rod Stewart's old ass accidentally blurted it out during an interview with USA Today for his new Las Vegas show.
And "I'm a grandfather now," he chirps, singing out the name Delilah, born Sunday to daughter Kimberly, 32 (whose mother is Alana Hamilton Stewart, one of his two exes). "I've been going around blabbing that for hours now."
There's half of me that is slow clapping for the name Delilah because it makes her sound like a Biblical whore (I hate that I still watch Friends reruns).
The other part of me is throwing punches with my eyes at Benicio's "hungover Gaddafi face" for putting that stupid song about that stupid bitch moving to stupid NYC in my stupid head.
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A bastard love child comes by chance
Illegitimate as they say
By product of unplanned romance
A booty call and a quick lay
Boozed up mother had found a beau
A one night stand she'd soon forget
Baby's Daddy said, "Gotta go",
When his selfish needs were met
A bastard love child grows up sore
With blackened eyes and bloodied nose
Trailer park trash and Project poor
Wears hand me downs and unwashed clothes
Read the complete poem....
http://forums.familyfriendpoems.com/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=11713
The poor kid has a desperate mother who will have a baby with any man as long as he's breathing and a father who wants nothing to do with her mother. Good luck little girl.
Gawd those are awful pictures of those two. I file this story under "who cares news."
Good name they picked.About time celebs started picking good names for their tots.
There's some kind of odd streak running in the Stewart clan.
Having unprotected sex with a werewolf is one clue. The kid may need reconstructive surgery and a gun with silver bullets.
.
.
KS is one lucky bitch anyways. She sucked face with hunky Jude Law and got BDT's hot beef injection.
Gah! She has money! Why can't she get a real haircut, get her wonk eyes fixed and get that skin cancer blob cut off?
Totally agree with the below. It is obvious Kimberly pulled a Samantha Burke (Jude Law baby mama)and got prego from one nighter. They hooked up after meeting at Chateau Marmont and then the baby was made. Now she gets a huge chunk of support for 18 years. She is just celebrity offspring so its not like she has a real career or anything but now she gets a paycheck.
ITA. I think it's mighty scary how so many people think it's no big deal to have a baby. It's the most important decision a person can make... a kid is not like a puppy, you can't give it back to the fucking pet shop! And screw that "you're stuck with him/her for at least 18 years" shit, you're stuck with them for LIFE! It's one hell of a commitment, no matter how you slice it.
Let's hope their kid inherited some dormant gene that will sprout good looks.
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"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11
Dementa -- Tom Jones is totally alive. He turned 70 this year. I saw him in 2009 at Ravinia (just outside Chicago) -- he was fucking amazing and still knows how to rock it. We danced our asses off that night. Tom was and always will be the bomb.
Good point. At least Delilah has been around for millennia and it's, like, a traditional name. Please God let the pendulum swing back so celebs aren't giving their kids shitty made-up names anymore.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 3:36pm.
I think he's still alive. And now I have to do the Carlton dance.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
How dare she name her kid after my cat. And the only Delilah songs that really matters is Tom Jones' song "Delilah." Tom Jones was a fine motherfucker.
That is a TERRIBLE color palette on Kim in that photo. All wrong. She looks like a surprised corpse.
And I don't know about these things, since I was married and we're all Hekkis, but can't Kim give her daughter the last name "Del Toro" if she wants to? If Benicio is the father, why couldn't she?
Oh whatever. I hope she's a good mom and that she appreciates what she has. GENERALLY, women who wait to have kids can appreciate them a bit more. (And I am NOT knocking women who have children earlier, okay?) And that's not taking into account my cunty SIL who treats her much-tried-for kid as a major inconvenience.
That poor child is going to be ugly with those two for parents.
"Why? Oh why? Delilah?" I won't be able to get Tom Jones out of my head now and neither will that kid.
To be fair, "Delilah" is better than "Apple" or "Inspector Pilot" or "Bonx Malwi." It is a name I've heard of before.
I like the name...... it does remind me of the song
Delilah Del Toro is a great name.
littlemama ikr??? As soon as I read it, I heard it! :p
Delilah. Like that Queen song where Freddie Mercury sings about his cat peeing on his furniture.
Like the name. It's been refreshing, sorta, to see more conventional names lately, like Penelope and Delilah.
Yeah, they sound fucked up, but at least they're names one didn't make up on a whim.
At least Delilah got "Solid, solid as a rock...that's what our love is..." out of my head from yesterday.
Oh wait, Solid's still there.
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"Your ignorance makes me ill and angry. Your savageness...must...end."
*hands Kieranx a cocktail*
A silly, common nickname doth not a Perez Hilton make.
:-)
LMAO @ Jack.
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Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.
♫♪ have I told... you lately, that your fucking butt ass uglyyyyyy ♫♪
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:17am.
Good Lord, who hasn't Jude Law screwed?
OHHHHHHHHH What you do to me, OHHHHHHHH What you do to me
I need to get this song out of my head immediately
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I wish I had multiple Alts, that way I won't be so lonely when I'm talking to myself
@sweetas
HAHA! The minute I see the name Delilah, that godawful radio intro goes through my head. "Deeeliiiilahhhh"!
And her voice makes me a little hostile.
If he signs the birth certificate, the kid uses his name. trust.
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Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.
He looks like he should be in a twenty year old no window van parked in frot of an suburban daycare.
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Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.
Submitted by Capitanne on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:37am.
Don't bastards usually go by the mother's name? Always wondered on Sex in the City when Miranda and Steve got married, didn't the kid become Brady Brady?
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Fair enough, her government name will probably be Delilah Stewart, but her stripper name/ porn star name will definitely be Delilah Del Toro,
She's going to be raised by a celbuwhore so when Delilah grows up she won't pass up the opportunity to use her daddy's name
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I wish I had multiple Alts, that way I won't be so lonely when I'm talking to myself
lololololol ;)
Delilah Del Toro actually sounds cute. At least Delilah is a name you can break into other names if you hate it. Dee or Lilah... etc.
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Don't bastards usually go by the mother's name? Always wondered on Sex in the City when Miranda and Steve got married, didn't the kid become Brady Brady?
Delilah Del Toro actually sounds cute. At least Delilah is a name you can break into other names if you hate it. Dee or Lilah... etc.
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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:26am. <--- in your britches
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:18am. <-----*in denial*
Benicio's eyes...he always looks stoned.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
Submitted by BabyJane on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:09am.
Delilah Del Toro. Perfect stripper name.
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LMAO!! she can dance to her grandpa Rod's song "if you think im sexy" to complete the F-ed up picture
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I wish I had multiple Alts, that way I won't be so lonely when I'm talking to myself
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:13am.
pffft
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
I can't see her actually raising this kid. Delilah will probably spend most of her time with a nanny, Rod, her many aunts and uncles AKA Rod's seedlings, and his three ex wives. A perfectly normal upbringing.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:12am.
Didn't Kimberly get engaged to that Talan guy from the Laguna Beach show one time? I just remember thinking how weird a couple they were, then this situation pops up and is even weirder!
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Oooh, I forgot about that! And if I remember correctly, she was also sucking face with Jude Law for awhile. OK, maybe for a night. ???
Damn this kid is doomed in the looks department. He looks like an old Greek fisherman and she looks like a middle school art teacher whose Xanax prescription ran out.
Submitted by Albatross on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:12am.
I'm hoping that these two uglies made a pretty, but I'm not holding my breath.
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Does sideshow freak give you a hint as to the child's looks.
I too hate "Hey There Delilah" and Delilah the radio host and Delilah from the bible. There, I said it.
Submitted by BabyJane on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:09am.
Delilah Del Toro. Perfect stripper name.
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add a middle name of "Sparkles", and she's gonna tour the finest of back alley shooting galleries just to climb up to donkey show.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 11:09am.
Cuppy - my stepdaughter had a mad crush on the lead singer... I drove 6 hours just so she could see them play in some little coffee shop for 45 minutes... this was before they got put on the radio. They sucked back then, too.
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Awwwwww Jack, that was really sweet of you to suffer like that! You really do have a heart there Jacko!
I'm hoping that these two uglies made a pretty, but I'm not holding my breath.
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"It's all fun and farts until somebody gets punched." -MK
"GREEN MILE MOTHERFUCKERS! JOHN COFFEY HELP US!" --urmomma, 8/24/11
Didn't Kimberly get engaged to that Talan guy from the Laguna Beach show one time? I just remember thinking how weird a couple they were, then this situation pops up and is even weirder!
Wasn't this guy married to a beautiful dark haired woman not to long ago?
Submitted by Capitanne on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 10:47am.
I would really not want a daughter with Benicio Del Toro. Karl Lagerfeld would hate her.
HAHAHAHAHA! Awesome, KL would totally hate her fo troof
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 10:54am.
Let's hope poor baby ends up looking like mom, not dad.
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Benicio wasn't bad looking in his youth. Some might think he was weirdly handsome, like in here:
http://hannibalzouk.wordpress.com/2011/03/09/character-profiles-1-new-pa...
Kim, in all her gangly awkwardness, was BORN THIS WAY.