William Levy Is Out Of That Showpeens Movie
Pull out the Kleenex and a tube of soothing chamomile tea lube, and then gently tell your genitals in a cashmere soft voice that it will not see William Levy's Cuban sandwich nalgas clenching a crisp dollar bill on the (CL)IMAX screen anytime soon. Because the "Cuban Brad Pitt" (HA) has officially said no gracias to a role in Steven Soderbergh's soon-to-be man stripper masterpiece Magic Mike.
William was supposed to star in his big breakout role by breaking out the see through salchicha smuggler (or as my mom says in her accent, "see troo") and twerking his pecs next to Matt Bomer, Channing Tatum, Joe Man Jello, Matthew McConaughey and Alex Pettyfer, but People En Espanol says it's not going to happen anymore. Let's do this in Spanish, because then your chocha (or man chocha) can take the hint and weep in Spanish (messy, crazy, sweary, rosary-clutching, vase-breaking, etc):
Sin embargo, el actor cubano no se unirá al proyecto, pues prefiere dedicar tiempo a evaluar otras posibilidades en la Meca del Cine.
“Recibió un acercamiento, pero no estará”, dijo Gladys González, su mánager, a PeopleEnEspanol.com.
William is famous for telenovela shit and for rolling around on the sand with JLo's ass, so he needs to stop thinking he's too good to sway his peen on camera and take them chonies off! What are all these Hollywood offers that are falling on William's lap? A chance to star opposite an A-list star in a Hollywood blockbuster that will win the box office and win Oscar awards? Yeah, I'm sure William got that casting notice in the mail. William, squint your pretty little eyes and tell me the fine print doesn't say: "Audition held at the Scientology Center. Go to the cellar door on the side of the building, knock the melody to the Top Gun theme song with your fist. Come alone, bring a change of clothes and practice saying the safe word 'glib' over and over again beforehand."
But this is still a tragedy.....
It's times like this that I thank my everything for YouTube. The only thing that can calm my parts down is a fat sage joint from Shanti Ananda:
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What a hot bitch Walter is-we used to watch him trying to move his face every night on Primero Impacto…
As regards William Levy - na he doesnt do a thing for me-seems waaaay too in to himself although my husband whose Cuban spends hours in the bathroom looking at himself….maybe its a Cuban thing-narcissism…..
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
OMG...where do they make these & how do I get one?
Mommy like.
++++++++
Virtue and Talent are obviously overrated.
Ay Virgen Santa de la Caridad del Cobre!
Cuban translation: That peen is mighty fine!!!!!
I would hit it! Twice on Sunday.
POOOHTEEEE!
He looks like he would be a lame lay and not very smart....maybe ok for a one nighter, so you could just look for a minute....
@Chirio,
There's a Mexican hot dog truck in Austin called El Salchichón. Too bad it only satisfied my hunger cravings....
A mi me encanta un buen salchichón!
He is WAY OVERRATED! He is NOt good- looking AT ALL. He is a pretty boy though, Ill give him that. Every Mexican woman I know mentions him when it comes to a "hot" actor, but idont see it AT ALL.
I don't watch novel as, but the one actor I can think of who is really handsome, is Sebastian Rulli. He's still kind of pretty but I have thought he's good-looking ever since I first laid eyes on him.
I guess he is a Cuban Jew after all...the chorizo is cut and so not what I was expecting. Oh well...still doable (especially if he stopped shaving his chest and culo).
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"When you open up your vagina to a billionaire and a baby comes out, it is your responsibility to get as much money out of that motherfucker as possible!" - MK
okay, i don't know what he did or did not do to the 17 year old girl he allegedly sexually assaulted but her MOTHER was in the room when it allegedly happened. set-up, maybe?
Yes Please!
*chanting as always*
http://www.divanoxx.com/2011/04/william-levy-gutierrez.html
Check this out to see him in mostly all of his glory!
Perfection...Good Lord!
Too pretty = starts to look interchangable with other actor models. If he looked like david gandy (model but slightly different looking) that's better.
Isn't this the fucker who tried to force oral sex on an underage girl? I thought I read it somewhere.
I love the spanish posts b.c I see how much I remember. It is so much easier reading it than speaking for me now
DAY-UM!!!
That is all.
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WORDS MEAN NOTHING, fashion speaks volumes. -MK
I still have no idea who this guy is, but at least I can see why JeLo cheated. I mean, if you'd been stuck with Marc Anthony's stringy doll body for years, and you don't have a problem with cheating, and you had a chance to bang that....
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Time to enroll in some Spanish classes.
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 10:17am.
Yes, you are so right on ALL counts.
Puto! hombres con brazos grandes tienen una salchichita no SALCHICHON!!! Me entienden? Si? ok!
Lo digo con mucho mucho mucho amorrrrrrrr!
Coma Caca!
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Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 10:25am.
Here's another shocker. After reading this I STILL don't know who he is. After looking a bit, Imma retract my "hel-LO there" and say that this trick is way too pretty.
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www.charitywater.org
www.animalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 9:50am.
No. Doesn`t do it for me. There is something missing. Like a huge zit on his forehead. Or a big old scar somewhere. Perfect people scare me.
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ITA (and well said), but perhaps the STD could be his imperfection?
Hollywood is dumb!
They need to GO ON THAT!
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Submitted by Dog on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 10:17am.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 9:48am.
http://www.latingossip.com/william-levy/william-levy-no-longer-facing-un...
Ewwwwww on the STD, if that is true. Plus that is NOT a good looking dude in that link photo.
^^^^^^^^
GET THE FUCK OUT! That is NOT the same guy!!!!!!!!!
Is it?
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It is supposed to be, and I saw other pics similar, so I am going to say yes, but like I mentioned, I do not know him. Today is the first day I have ever read anything about him.
Selfish asshole.
He must be waiting for a call from Merchant-Ivory. If you're starring in vids with J-Lo and your primary talent is sunken cheekbones, you should not be turning down decent offers to star in a Hollywood film. Mecca is full of actors who look just like you.
Submitted by KA on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 9:54am.
any guy that spends time in the bathroom trying to look prettier than I do is not attractive.
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Hello. It bad that Mr. Borg and I battle for the mirror. He like to blowdry his hair and then put gel in it. I die with laughter every morning seeing Mr. Borg with his grooming routine. But you know William Levy would use all of your expensive face creams and masque to preserve his "sexy".
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Live like the bombshell I really am!!! RIP AMY. Hope u find the peace that eluded you in life.
EvilC and UBF, hahaha! Guys like this are not keepers, they're just to look at or maybe hit it and quit it (with a condom, don't be stupit!). In my very limited experience *thunder rumbles* they are devoid of personality, superficial as hell, and suck between the sheets and not in the sexy way.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 9:48am.
http://www.latingossip.com/william-levy/william-levy-no-longer-facing-un...
Ewwwwww on the STD, if that is true. Plus that is NOT a good looking dude in that link photo.
^^^^^^^^
GET THE FUCK OUT! That is NOT the same guy!!!!!!!!!
Is it?
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www.charitywater.org
www.animalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Well, hel-LO there!
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www.charitywater.org
www.animalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I thought Walter was a woman. I'm getting a little Liberace vibe from Walter...
www.petfinder.com - enter your zip code to find adoptable pets in your area.
www.animalrescuesite.com - click everyday to help feed animals in shelters.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 9:52am.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 9:48am.
WTF. I remember that STD case. What kinda STD did he give her, when she gave him a blowjob? Herpes? Warts? What else can you get from oral???? Now i guess I can say he is NOT perfect. But I still wouldn`t fuck him with the STD. YUCK.
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I am not familiar with the guy or the case. I Googled his name and found that article.
As I have said before, I don't usually find the same guys attractive that most people do. So this guys does nothing for me, just like Alcide (Joe whatever his name is). I just don't find them hot.
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 9:51am.
We inspected the photo of Mary Levy's nalgas, MK, and we pronounce them rather OLD AND SAGGY!
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olollololo
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
I have no desire whatsoever to see this. Nothing worse than vain beefcakes strutting around. These guys grow up to be Ah-nold.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
he is hot, that lawsuit was some bitch trying to make money off him, but he is a cheater so typical
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
any guy that spends time in the bathroom trying to look prettier than I do is not attractive. hes just eh. doesnt do it for me either.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
Meh. This guy is way too Ken Doll for me. Boring. I like guys with quirky good looks. Like Mr. Gordon-Levitt. Swoony swoon swoon.
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"My name is Sally Brown and I hate school."
Submitted by Darknight on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 9:52am.
My mom always watched walter mercado when he did the daily horoscope. One day I was in the livingroom when he came on and he said that any pets or anything I took care of would be blessed on that day. I busted out crying because my pet turtle had just died that day.
Pinche walter.
*trying not to laugh*
"No Mr. Soderburgh, i will not shut-up and blow you for this role!"
From now on I'm gonna start my day by playing that youtube of Walter. We could all start our day with some Paz y Amorrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
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Is this real life? Why is this happening to me? Is this gonna be forever?
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 08/24/2011 - 9:48am.
WTF. I remember that STD case. What kinda STD did he give her, when she gave him a blowjob? Herpes? Warts? What else can you get from oral???? Now i guess I can say he is NOT perfect. But I still wouldn`t fuck him with the STD. YUCK.
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
HAHA on a side note:
My mom always watched walter mercado when he did the daily horoscope. One day I was in the livingroom when he came on and he said that any pets or anything I took care of would be blessed on that day. I busted out crying because my pet turtle had just died that day.
Pinche walter.
We inspected the photo of Mary Levy's nalgas, MK, and we pronounce them rather OLD AND SAGGY!
No. Doesn`t do it for me. There is something missing. Like a huge zit on his forehead. Or a big old scar somewhere. Perfect people scare me.
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
He's cute. No way did he turn this role down, though. Wonder what really happened?
http://www.latingossip.com/william-levy/william-levy-no-longer-facing-un...
Ewwwwww on the STD, if that is true. Plus that is NOT a good looking dude in that link photo.
wills wills wills.... come on now! What the hell.
anyway ive seen his peen already so thats while.
but seriously, no wonder j-lo went down and smoked his cuban cigar, its a finnnneeeeeeeeeeee piece.
given the opportunity id totally nibble on that chorizo.
PORQUE!?!?!?
AY DIOS MIO!
Wow.
*wipes ankle*
He's much hotter than Brad Pitt, IMO. This dude is a sleaze, though. Actually, he'd be PERFECT for the corny-ass stripper movie.
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Douchechill!