Beyonce Says It All With A STUNT QUEEN Pose
Announcing you've got a womb full of baby on the cover of People Magazine or in a Tweet is way too simple and bougie for Beyonce. Bitch always likes to do things get extra. And so at the MTV VMAs tonight, Beyonce swept in wearing a curtain from LaQuinta Inn and dramatically said it all by framing her holy baby cocoon. The sky opened up, everybody fell to their knees, Solange let out a holler from the basement that sounded like angels burping in unison and Three Kings rode in on Jay-Z. It was like the pre-show for the second coming. Or maybe none of that happened and everybody just looked at Beyonce like, "Bitch, why are you posing like my fat uncle after Thanksgiving dinner when he wants to show everyone how much crap he ate?"
People says that Beyonce cradled her bump (that's not even bigger than my gut when I try to suck in during lights-on fuck time) and said that "she's got a surprise." Beyonce's rep also confirmed that the seed of Jay-Z is alive and well in Beyonce's Womb of Derriere.
Beyonce announcing it like a true STUNT QUEEN is just hilarious. Beyonce knew that everybody would lose their shit, shove it back up their asses and lose it again if she just coyly held it like that. I'm surprised a chorus of angel cherubs carrying adorable bundles of wigs with lips on them weren't dancing around her. That being said, let's all hail Beysus Jayssiah Oprah Carter Knowles (that's totally what she's going to name it).
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LAWDY!
I don't buy anything with her mug on it.
@ Bjork
Thanks for the heads up.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
the winner at the VMAs was ADELE.
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I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away I couldn't fight it
I hoped you'd see my face and THAT YOU'D be reminded
That for me
It isn't over.ADELE
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sun, 08/28/2011 - 9:44pm.
how is she already showing? I'm baby dumb too.
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Just looks like Bey left her girdle and spanx at home to be honest. You wouldn't have known she was pregnant had she not cradled her stomach.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
Can I have that curtain when she's done? Mama Tina's going to be a grandma! $10 says she'll be the type of grandmother that doesn't like to be called grandma or any derivative of the word.
LOL @ Rosemary's baby - I thought the same, damn thing.
LOL she is so pregnant and dancing with high heels please bitch , that pregnancy is as fake as your wig.
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Zac Efron is my obsession, we're the same person. We're not actually here, it's like Janet and Michael Jackson. He just puts on his wig and a dress, and it's me, and you don't know that. It's one of the greatest mysteries of all time.
Megan Fox
Submitted by Slutleena on Sun, 08/28/2011 - 9:12pm.
WTF just happened...
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
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Don't engage her. Trust, no matter how much she lolol's you.
Next
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sun, 08/28/2011 - 9:44pm.
how is she already showing? I'm baby dumb too.
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No your not... To me this is a fake pregnancy stunt until proven otherwise.
how is she already showing? I'm baby dumb too.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Well Beyonce is kinda dim. It would be her to not know when she'd be giving birth.
Isnt it customary to usually wait until after the 3 months "safe" period to announce a pregnancy?
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 08/28/2011 - 9:37pm.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sun, 08/28/2011 - 9:13pm.
Oh fuck Bjork... look what the Ouija board dragged in.
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No wonder her mother was mean to her.
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Should've drowned her mangy ass at birth. I don't normally hate on people on the web (cause really what does it matter) but this miserable creature is ruining this site for the rest of us.
Listen crazy ass.. no one likes you. We all dread when you enter a thread. Take your crazy shit elsewhere or knock the shit off. Your only friends are your own alts. That's sad. Seriously.. get some help. ______________________________________________
"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
She looks great...good wishes!
They think this baby will come out looking like somebody that people want to look at and coo at? Look at the daddy! Why the hell couldn't she get a divorce before she started procreating? Does she truly not see Jay-Z for the Aardvark that he is?????
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
I didn't watch this montrosity of a show - please tell me Kanye bumrushed the stage and said, "Imma let you finish, Beyonce, but Michelle Duggar had the best pregnancies of all-time!" as she announced she was with child...
"Oh, please tell me, Elizabeth: how exactly does one suck a fuck?"
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sun, 08/28/2011 - 9:13pm.
Oh fuck Bjork... look what the Ouija board dragged in.
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No wonder her mother was mean to her.
I get the attention desperation vibe from the fact that she kept her wedding so top secret on the down low but is now walking on the red carpet cradling her food baby belly with a shit eating grin on her face.
It's just odd...
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
Submitted by kokoskitten on Sun, 08/28/2011 - 8:57pm.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sun, 08/28/2011 - 8:45pm.
BJORK! I hear I'm your alt... or you're mine.. or we're fraggle.
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I curse all of you as we speak.
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LOL @ "curtain from La Quinta Inn."
I never heard "bougie" before; must be patois. (Real meaning: candle.)
............
HR: Several clients have complained about receiving emails from a mrshits@pisscompany.com.
Employee: Yeah, that’ll be me, working from home after a few drinks.
Cosign with whoever said "Rosemary's Baby." Also, next year is the year of the water dragon according to Chinese astrology. Those born in that year tend to be extremely lucky and wealthy...if you believe in that. Maybe after her pregnancy her Creole genes will kick in.
This smells of a publicity stunt due to tanking album sales. If she is having a "spring" birth, she just got pregnant in the last two months.
DirtyWhoreMouth on Sun, 08/28/2011 - 9:40pm.
Well, I looooooooove you, pookie noodle puffin' stuff!
But, let's not make this thread all a'boot me eh?
Say something nice about Bouncy!
She wears maternity clothing quite well, much better than Angelina Jolieeeeeee.
P.S. Your hate = Attention. I'd kinda stop that if I were you because all you do is summon me here. Your greatest power is ignoring me. Golly, kids? Didn't you learn that in psychology 101 or did your daddy spank the smarts out of your hind end?
QUESTION IS: ONCE THE FAKE PREGNANCY IS OVER, IF BEYONCE CARRIES THIS FAKE PREGNANCY TO TERM AND FAKE DELIVERS - WILL THEY IMPORT A BABY CAMEL FROM THE MIDDLE EAST FOR THE PHOTO OP?
Like I said. How is she showing already when she's not due till next spring? Am I that pregnant retarded?
Never been, so maybe I am.
After 4 years I change my profile pic to commemorate the announcement of the future Creole-Camel spawn.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
@grounder
I actually thought for a second the baby announcement was a ploy to deflect from her poor album reception and also because she would def be overshadowed @ the VMA's by Gaga (for being a nutjob) and Adele (for being sincere) Britney (for the tribute) etc
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sun, 08/28/2011 - 9:00pm.
HA Bjork -- I hope we didn't just conjure that creepy bitch up. That's so sweet how she thinks we are the same person and she has 17 living inside her.
I had a great birthday. I wish the weekend were longer.
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Techincally, you get to celebrate your birthday for a week: a few days before and a few after.
Hope you were walking on sunshine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EI6XnU8leA
With all the Illuminati rumors I'm thinking Rosemary's baby
HOW CONVENIENT... HER CD IS TANKING AND PEOPLE ARE NO LONGER KISSING HER ASS LEFT AND RIGHT.
WHAT'S A DESPERATE STARLET TO DO BUT ANNOUNCE A PREGNANCY.
I SMELL A FAKE PREGNANCY... THAT PROSTHETIC BABY BUMP REEKS OF BEYONCE'S SWEAT.
I BET SHE'LL FAKE A MISCARRIAGE, BAWL HER EYES OUT ON TV AND ALL THE MAGAZINES, AND RESUME PROMOTING HER CD ONCE THE ATTENTION AND SYMPATHY IS ALL BACK ON HER.
Methinks Fraggle needs to update her VHS (or beta who knows with that hair) collection. Pretty Woman is soooooo 90s.
If you're gonna quote the 90's at least quote showgirls... darlin'.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
At least she waited past 8 WEEKS
Unlike Cyrus girlthing
I'm too nuts not to correct myself. Now I read my post to Bjork, and I wrote "your" instead of "you're"....typo! eeeek.
I feel better now, even if none of you even noticed. *exhales*
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I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone
Oh fuck Bjork... look what the Ouija board dragged in.
______________________________________________
"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
WTF just happened...
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
WTF just happened...
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
Puhlease. Don't insult my alts by calling the morons here 'me'. HUGE mistake. HUGE.
My hair is REAL and it's SPECTACULAR.Jelly? Don't be because it's a BITCH to care for! But, I'm of the 'privileged' white class and so I have it 'easy'. lol
Bouncy needs a 'weave' because bitch is black.
Ever seen Africa? Ever seen women in Africa with 'naturally' long hair EVER?
Yeah. Thought so.
lulz.
Back to you, Bjorky Poo!
Who did she steal the fetus from?
That was a really horrible thing to say but given Bey's track record I had to get that off my chest.
Mazel Tov!!!
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
I wanna be that baby.
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This signature will be publicly displayed at the end of my comments.
http://hipandcritical.blogspot.com/
I thought she was forever traumatized by witnessing basement baby give birth.
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"You dumb bitch, I am home."
Submitted by ibnsmother on Sun, 08/28/2011 - 8:57pm.
congrats to them
weirdo :)
HA Bjork -- I hope we didn't just conjure that creepy bitch up. That's so sweet how she thinks we are the same person and she has 17 living inside her.
I had a great birthday. I wish the weekend were longer.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sun, 08/28/2011 - 8:44pm.
Bjork, that doesn't happen all the time. I look a lot like my Mom.
Cindy Crawford's daughter looks just like her. I see what your saying, but it isn't all the time. :)
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My kid looks like the milkman.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sun, 08/28/2011 - 8:45pm.
BJORK! I hear I'm your alt... or you're mine.. or we're fraggle.
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I curse all of you as we speak.
congrats to them
Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 08/28/2011 - 8:42pm.
Well, at least little Vuitton Cocochanel be able to afford a massive nose job.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sun, 08/28/2011 - 8:45pm.
BJORK! I hear I'm your alt... or you're mine.. or we're fraggle.
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Hope you had a great birthday, you slut. Below is what I wrote yesterday. (We are Fraggle/Angela? Do we look like a brokedown tengobaila with a busted-ass Chrissy doll weave? Yeah, I wrote that already, but who can resist typing tengobaila and Chrissy doll in a sentence, again and again?)
Submitted by Bjork You on Sat, 08/27/2011 - 10:45am.
DirtyWhoreMouth,
Happy Birthday, slut!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYgKesYSwK8
Remember that stupid troll Fancy Malone, the one who made vids of dolls fucking each other? She wrote that you and I were the same, alts of one another. I was so flattered.
I first heard about it 15 minutes ago, and already I am sick and tired of hearing about Beyonce's pregnancy.
*reaches for the vodka bottle*
lol @
Submitted by becky n sydney on Sun, 08/28/2011 - 8:35pm.
That fake pregnancy pillow needs to be our next Hot Slut of the Day.
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Seriously where dat bump come from?
I guess Beyonce listened to Khia when she said "When's Beyonce gonna give Jay-Z a baby? He gettin' old."
I know being d-listers makes us cunty bitch whores by default, but I appreciate the subtle. wait till kim k gets knocked up. every magazine cover for 38 weeks. thank the gaycrest machine for that family of whores