Open Post: Hosted By Courtney Stodden's 17th Birthday
As the ghost of Michael Jackson moonwalks into Gary, Indiana's Office of Vital Records to change the born date on his birth certificate to any day but today, the garden lizard with first degree porn face that is Courtney Stodden is turning 17 (in porn iguana years) today. It's official: 17 is the new 47!
Courtney cooed out to Radar that she was going to spend her birthday with her 51-year-old plastic gay robot husband at Disneyland, but since they're both wrapped in extra thin mannequin wax and California is being fucked with a heat wave, they're going to stay inside and write more Tweets like this:
While I lie beneath this sizzling-sun, the popsicle that I am sweetly sucking on begins to melt & drips irresistibly all over my moist body!Celebrating the last night of being sweet-n-sexy 16 by wearing NOTHING but my tasty bday-suit! Mmm; Yummy! ;-)
When you're a 17-year-old girl who writes shit that is straight out of Gay Al's script for an episode of The Red Shoe Diaries, you should hug your pimp mother for doing something right. Happy Birthday, Courtney. May we all look like we're having a permanent hot flash when we turn 17 for the 30th time!
• 
Dear God!! I have a daughter and if she behaved even .000001% like this whore I'd beat her ass to kingdom come. Jesus Christ Bananas! Somebody euthanize these people already.
Submitted by Tracy Lynn on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 3:27pm.
Hmmm......I was looking at the link you posted for her "official" page and one of the hot link is labeled, "Having represented her city in Donald Trumps Miss USA's 2009 Pageant." It takes you to a video of her in the Washington State pageant (she's doing that twitchy mental patient thing there, too). The name of the person who posted the video is, "Courtizzlez". Am I drunk or does that read "Court is lez"?
They have no other videos except Courtney Stodden videos. Was the other plan to make her a gayelle for attention?
Either this is a pre-plastic surgery photo or someone let off a nasty fart.
http://www.courtneystodden.com/image/41168598.jpg
Submitted by MyFingersHurt on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 4:59pm.
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ITA! Let's say a 40 year old man chats with a 16 (or I guess newly-turned-17-year-old) online and says "I want to see you celebrate in nothing but your tasty birthday suit while you sweetly suck on a popsicle as it drips all over your moist body." You mean to tell me that shit wouldn't get him arrested? But it's okay for a child (yes, that's what she is) to say that and subject the entire Internet to it? So she's basically inviting every pervert imaginable to picture her naked with popsicle juice dripping over her, but if one person said they thought about it they'd go to jail. Yeah, that makes sense.
In a way, I feel sorry for this girl. Someone who feels the need to constantly tell everyone how sexy she is must have some major issues with body image and self esteem.
Best mugshot I've seen in a while:
http://www.dreamindemon.com/2011/08/29/man-accused-of-sexually-assaultin...
Submitted by Bree on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 3:56pm.
"While I lie beneath this sizzling-sun, the popsicle that I am sweetly sucking on begins to melt & drips irresistibly all over my moist body!
Celebrating the last night of being sweet-n-sexy 16 by wearing NOTHING but my tasty bday-suit! Mmm; Yummy! ;-)"
In all seriousness, shouldn't it be illegal for underage bitches to post shit like this? I guess she's technically legal since she was old enough to marry her old as dirt husband, but something about it just ain't right.
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I thought the same thing! I feel like a wet blanket, but I almost want to email Twitter & ask them to ban her from saying this shit. I'm not typically one for censorship, but this girl JUST turned "17" (or so she says). I probably would report her if it weren't for the fact that I love reading this fuckery & rolling my eyes at it.
If I were her parents, I would be very concerned about her. She seems to get her self-esteem only from sexual approval. Gross.
Also, did she drop out of high school?
Submitted by KA on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 4:27pm.
now, my proposed topic: which gossip site do you think has the best troll/bait comments to incite the anger and hatred of other posters? i love reading the comments on x17online, but some of them are too obvious that they are troll comments. any real good ones i should look at?
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Not a gossip site but the New York Daily News website/comments has some of the biggest trolls I have ever seen. Almost every story turns into a race war debate in the comments with people (seemingly) not even reading the stories but just commenting/baiting. As for gossip websites, there was that 'Female First' website a couple years ago where posters were talking shit about a bunch of Dlisters/pretending to post as certain Dlisters that was moderatly amusing.
This is becoming like a hilarious internet meme. She's so overtly trying to be sexy that she's becoming a caricature of herself! It's LOLZ all around to me!
When I see that layer of crooked bottom teeth, the over-retracted lips, and the retarded walk I can't hate! I just LMAO. Maybe a career in comedy would be good for her, it comes pretty naturally.
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"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
-Father Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler
Chola, i had my IUD taken out, that`s why I am back on BC pills. My IUD made me stabby, made my hair fall out and my skin was greasy as fuck. Strangely enough the first one worked perfectly fine for five years, the second one was a nightmare. Most have gotten the Monday-Model that time.
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Submitted by kokoskitten on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 4:12pm.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 3:53pm.
Btw, if you're in a bad mood, do NOT visit DreaminDemon today. There's a horrible story out of Dallas.
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I saw that story over the weekend on another website when I was hung over (and thirsty and dehydrated) and I can't even imagine the torture that was. How the parents aren't being charged with murder I don't know...I can't EVEN imagine the hell that kid went through.
Definitely, and imagine how his brother felt, watching him die, yet afraid to help because of what his father and step-mother might do to him.
Since this is an open post and shit, I saw BC mentioned. Whatever anyone does don't get an IUD unless there's a condition causing u extreme brain fog where u constantly forget shit (my case).
That shit hurts like a bitch, and the irregular er uhmmm..ill say "symptom", for the sake of not sound like a nasty whore, is annoying as hell.
now, my proposed topic: which gossip site do you think has the best troll/bait comments to incite the anger and hatred of other posters? i love reading the comments on x17online, but some of them are too obvious that they are troll comments. any real good ones i should look at?
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
open post belongs to everyone, not just a select few. isn't the purpose of Open Post for us to talk about anything we want, and to leave the other posts alone for on topic conversation that pertains to that post? hm, i thought it was. anyway, nothing wrong with me asking to interact with a few people that dont play the kissy kissy game in the op. i ignore that group, so please, ignore me and let me have my convos with other people who might be interested in what this site is about - mocking idiot celebs. THANK YOU.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
Submitted by mike on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 3:58pm.
Submitted by IluvDuranDuran on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 3:53pm.
Serious question:
What is up/wrong with this person?
I'm asking in all honesty, is she on
drugs, legal or otherwise or is she
mentally challenged, not well? Please
help me understand.
==========
Something is definitely up with her, but I don't for a second believe she's composing those tweets all by herself.
============
I'm helping her. We're BFF's.
Oh, the one where they didn`t give the boy water? Yes, bawled over that one this morning.
BTW, Mike, your header is up right now...lol
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
What is the deal with her mouth? She is always pursing it and I swear she was grinding her teeth on one interview. Drugs?
Submitted by mike on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 3:53pm.
Btw, if you're in a bad mood, do NOT visit DreaminDemon today. There's a horrible story out of Dallas.
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I saw that story over the weekend on another website when I was hung over (and thirsty and dehydrated) and I can't even imagine the torture that was. How the parents aren't being charged with murder I don't know...I can't EVEN imagine the hell that kid went through.
Thanks, guys. I just called my Doc and left her a message. Hopefully she can put me on something else, before i turn into the neighborhood predator who bawls her eyes out while chasing dick.
Mike, of course i had to check DD after you mentioned it. You mean the porn-story??
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Sorry, Jacko, I missed the email.
I'll chat with you tomorrow. Here is mine (for reals) Irish.Fury@yahoo.com
Other normal sluts that I have a history with here are welcome to send jokes, nice, poignant stories or money.
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 3:49pm
Have you tried Seasonal or Seasonique? i was having a lot of problems and my Dr. switched me to this rx. now i only have pms and lady times every 3 monthes! there is a generic for Seasonal too.
UBF - I had to go off the pills 6+ years ago because they all of a sudden worked in reverse.
A period all month long until the sugar pill week. Enormous, sore boobs, moody, bloated, night sweats, migraines. UGH! It sucked.
My doctor told me that I couldn't take the hormones anymore, they had thrown me into early premenopause (symptom wise).
Hence why I have a 5 1/2 year old. Well, ok, he was planned, but I didn't plan on getting knocked up right out the gate the first month after quitting the pill.
SDR - it's a pizza joint with hot melty subs and a list of really yummy salads. We have a full bar, plus 9 beers on tap.
This weekend was the Eddie Money show (free summer concerts) and it's ALWAYS busy when he plays.
Oh, and we are now also an ice cream shoppe.
^^ NOT pleased about this one.
Re: birth control. After 36, I could not
get on it - even the old standby....
I cried at the depression commercial
where the dog with the tennis ball was being neglected
and I NEVER cry, EVER. Chalked it up
to the fact that I can't take 'em any longer
Check out the site askapatient.com
Search on the birth control drugs - lots
of intolerance and weird/scary stories.
UBF - Been on the pill for 15 years. Chat with you doc. I believe the brand Mircette only has like 2 - 4 sugar pills and a lower dose BC pill for the other days. That big drop during sugar week usually gives me nasty headaches so I've been quite happy with it. It is an old BC pill & many docs want to write what the pharma reps are touting. :-(
*offers UBF my ungelded donkey. He quite hung for a little guy!*
Submitted by IluvDuranDuran on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 3:53pm.
Serious question:
What is up/wrong with this person?
I'm asking in all honesty, is she on
drugs, legal or otherwise or is she
mentally challenged, not well? Please
help me understand.
Something is definitely up with her, but I don't for a second believe she's composing those tweets all by herself.
Ilovduranduran - there is no serious answer to your question. Maybe Bjork could respond.
I'm out also, boys and girls. Have a good evening.
AMF
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
"While I lie beneath this sizzling-sun, the popsicle that I am sweetly sucking on begins to melt & drips irresistibly all over my moist body!
Celebrating the last night of being sweet-n-sexy 16 by wearing NOTHING but my tasty bday-suit! Mmm; Yummy! ;-)"
In all seriousness, shouldn't it be illegal for underage bitches to post shit like this? I guess she's technically legal since she was old enough to marry her old as dirt husband, but something about it just ain't right.
Nighty Night all. Early out today, because we are all headed to the Diamondbacks/Rockies game this evening. Our non-profit is being honored.
Serious question:
What is up/wrong with this person?
I'm asking in all honesty, is she on
drugs, legal or otherwise or is she
mentally challenged, not well? Please
help me understand.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 3:49pm.
I'm feeling like such a hick. It took me a few seconds to realize what you meant by BC. At first I thought you were talking about BC Headache Powders.
Btw, if you're in a bad mood, do NOT visit DreaminDemon today. There's a horrible story out of Dallas.
*gets in line for UBF's dreams*
and sorry, but I have no valid input for your question.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 3:49pm.
I had the same problem when I was on Yaz. I cried all the time, I had my period NONSTOP for months. I quit that shit because I was so irritated.
Went back to the doctor, got put on Microgestin with a lower dosage of the hormones, and now I am perfectly fine. I would definitely go back to the doctor and have them adjust your dosage and you should be good to go!
ME - What type of restaurant do you work at? Bar type? Fancy pants type? It must be crazy working 2 jobs. I did it when I was young, now I'm lazy. :-P
UBF, tell your doctor about these side effects. You might need a different pill or a lower dose.
Gah. Someone help me. Is any of you whores on BC pills? That shit the Doctor gave me fucks me up. Every time after the week of sugarpills, when i start back up, i am either emotional as hell(like this morning, i volunteer at the Special Ed table for breakfast at my son`s school before work, and that one boy is so severly autistic, he cannot communicate at all. The boy was so sad and frustrated, that shit had me bawling my eyes out in the car on my way to work) or the other great option is that i am a horndog and have dirty dreams about fucking pretty much everyone ( so far i think every single one of our neighbors , attractive or not, made an appearance). Could a pill with lower dose of hormons take care of that? Right now i really don`t need the birthcontrol for BC reasons, the husband is gone for a year, I just want to take it so my cycle isn`t all fucked up.
Sorry for that long ass post.
================================================
"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
--------------------------------------------------
http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Submitted by Tracy Lynn on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 3:27pm.
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I can't with that website!
Migraine - that poor woman! (doesn't really care)
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Migraine - All I can say is WUSS! I was a butcher throughout college (it was the best paying job in a grocery store) and even though I've cut cancer out of meat, I will still chow the fuck down on beef, chicken and pork. Ribeye = anomnomnom...
Out here on the farm I could have chickens to eat the bugs in the garden and for the eggs but that's all. They're gonna die here from old age. I prefer my bird wrapped up in a cute plastic bag.
SDR
I'm a city girl too.
True story: Years ago, I was at work and was heading out the door and I said "I'm running around like a chicken with no head". My boss, who was crazier than a bedbug, got all offended and launched into this teary (yes, I said teary) tirade about how she grew up on a farm and about how chickens will run around after their head is chopped off and the blood and gore and lions and tigers and bears, OH MY. She was a vegan. Traumatized her for life.
Submitted by KA on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 3:25pm.
why does the conversation here always start out good, but then slowly declines into an ass kissing attention whore party? can we please at least have some snark going on?
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Because this is Open Post. Please check the other threads for snark. Thank you.
Ohhhh...lol...that makes sense.
Isn't it true that when you cut a chicken's head off they still run around? Now that would be sumppin to see.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
>>>Submitted by TrashyWilma - I have to believe we're all being punked.<<<
I sure hope so! Isn't Doug gay? Maybe Courtney really is a Lady Boy, like another poster said. Sure would make this thing a lot more interesting than just some old pepaw married an over sexed, over aged, under talented "teenager".
And I'm with the rest of you guys. Can't believe this Virginal Bride is a day under 40. Homeschooling story -FAKE- to cover the lack of paper trail.
Her hands have that Over 40 vein thing. Her forearms are grandma crepe skin. Her underarms have that loose skin you get when the elasticity starts to go. It even looks like she's starting to develop turkey neck. Yuck. My daughter is 22 and looks 20 years younger Granny Courtney.
On http://www.courtneystodden.com/ she's wearing a shirt that proclaims "YES THEY'RE REAL!" lol yeah... "real" like everything else on this old broad.
She's posing with guys who are supposed to be near her own age and she looks old enough to be their momma. She has so many pics with them, I'm wondering if she IS their momma.
There's also a photo or two on there where her hairstyle and clothes look to be out of date and she does look younger in those. All the recent photos, tho.... Grandma Courtney.
spotted - I'm really not a CUNTRY BOI... :P
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
why does the conversation here always start out good, but then slowly declines into an ass kissing attention whore party? can we please at least have some snark going on? this shit is boooooooooring. the least you sluts could be doing is entertaining the rest of us with your own celeb findings and snark on it. MK is too busy to do it for us.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 3:14pm.
yard bird = chickens (i think)
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OMG. You are in Are-Kansas, yard bird capital of the world. What is this "I think..." BS?!?! LOL!!!
*smh at Jack in the City*
Migraine - I'm from the suburbs so I still eat the hell out of meat, I think if we raised and ate our birds I would have nightmares!
...
ooops
Submitted by guest on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 3:12pm.
Spotty...no I don't. I iz a little skeered to. What's yard bird?
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I iz skeered too. Maybe you sign up as guest and I'll be SDR.
Yard bird is chicken. You can keep 'em in your yard. They were cooked though.
My dear friend refers to chicken as "yard bird". She grew up on a farm and she refuses to eat it. :)
yard bird = chickens (i think)
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
M.E.--Yes, the Anthonys will be on Dr. Phil Monday, 9/12. I didn't hear about a major announcement though--in the previews, he just says that he asked the tough questions and didn't hold back.