Good Morning, Here's Richard Simmons With A Pearl Necklace
This is the moment in your life when you realize that New Balance sneakers sort of resemble the hooves of a unicorn that have only touched the rainbow clouds on a Lisa Frank folder. You should write that into your memory journal in glitter pen.
The last time the traffic of breaths running from your mouth to your lungs stopped was when Richard Simmons frolicked on a trail of bedazzled starfruits that fall out of his front b-hole (don't you have one too?) while spreading his genius in Beverly Hills. You immediately printed that picture out on strawberry-scented paper and stuck it to to your inspiration board since Richard is what we should all aspire to be. Well, you've got another to add to the board.
Richard, who is what you get when you feed Billy Crystal sugar-free Jolly Ranchers juice after midnight, stepped out again in L.A. yesterday wearing another Toddlers & Tiaras original and the kind of chunky pearl necklace Fred Flinstone gave to Wilma Flinstone. Yabba Dabba Do is right!
Richard looks like the Tooth Fairy's way more fabulous and glittier second cousin the No-No Fairy who slips a Sweatin' to the Oldies DVD under your pillow every time your no-no puckers. You're going to need a bigger pillow, because I'm sure the sight of these pictures is making you pucker like Renee Zellweger giving a beej to Mr. Lemonhead. I feel like I've been Care Bear Stared!
The last days of Judy Garland.
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http://i53.tinypic.com/4sle94.jpg
Guess which one is Richard Simmons! And while I'm at it, has he completely lost it now? Or is that the most redundant question ever?
Phoebe Price - you've just been served!!
When did Sigourney Weaver take up ballet?
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And pharmaceuticals were invented for me and Liza Minelli. ©2011 BjorkYou.
I've always wanted to like Richard Simmons, cuz he does seem like a nice guy. but he always dresses like shit. and his hair always looks like shit. he's bound to have some money. be one of the queers that dresses nice, Richard.
I can't hate on Richard, because he's done so much to help morbidly obese people.
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"Bitch, stop. We're not a family of Martha Fucking Stewarts."
I wonder if Richard Simmons will ever come out of the closet? It's impossible to tell if he's gay or not.
He looks like he has Down Syndrome.
I think he might be ill...his hair and his skin are the same sickly color.
OMG, he just doesn't care anymore, does he? Good for him - it's time to stop pretending and just let the REAL Richard out, tutu, pearls and all. He's got stones, you have to give him that.
i love him. always have, always will.
case closed.
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The McCanns Did It
So fabulous, he requires a double post.
God he's fabulous.
God he's fabulous.
My dad has this exact same outfit in fuchsia and it looks sooooo much better on him.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by paulapoo: "The socks are what's heinous. Get yourself some orange lace anklets for chrissakes."
LOL.
I've had pure hate for that idiot when i saw him prancing and sashaying around New Orleans in his extra-tight Dolphin shorts w/ a camera crew a mere week after Katrina hit.
What an attention-craving bastard.
Sadly, he looks a lot thinner than usual. Not healthy looking like he used to be. Hope he's okay.
Richard. Stop. The end.
The socks are what's heinous. Get yourself some orange lace anklets for chrissakes.
I've always kinda liked him. He seems like a very genuine person.
Submitted by ritzyroxie on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:06am.
THIS.
A freak is a freak, regardless of gay, straight, bi, transgendered, etc. I happen to love this freak cause he could give a shit. He isn't hurting anyone (in fact he is actually helping people) so why anyone cares is beyond me.
Normal is boring.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
They do TOO.
Submitted by Zonko on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 11:30am.
Everytime the LGBT community accomplishes something that moves us forward (gay marriage), this guy just pulls us backwards again.
He perpetuates the "all gay people are sick freaks" opinion.
^^^^^^^^^^
And Pigez and Johnny Weir don't?
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www.charitywater.org
www.animalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Everytime the LGBT community accomplishes something that moves us forward (gay marriage), this guy just pulls us backwards again.
He perpetuates the "all gay people are sick freaks" opinion.
"You immediately printed that picture out on strawberry-scented paper and stuck it to to your inspiration board"-Mk
Lmaooo I printed this pic earlier for the damn sole purpose of putting it up at the home corkboard for inspiration!!! Just now read Mks full writeup. lol Christ.
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Sinead's rockin' slore-queen checklist:
I don't care if he is from the planet Zog.
Stubble is a non-negotiable must.
Must be very 'snuggly'. Not just wham-bam.
Must be wham-bam.
Lisa Simpson? Is that you?
He's 63 years old.
I thought he was older.
AIDS chic is so right now!
Why is he wearing dresses all of a sudden? Or has he been doing this for a long time and I just didn't know? (which is entirely possible)
So. Is he a full-fledged cross-dresser now or what?
I was also coming here to say he looks ill. By all accounts he's a very sweet and kin man and I hope he's not sick.
And I agree with citizenstrange, the world needs more Richards and less Parisi and Kim K's.
MOM??????
The past five pictures I have seen of this silly fuck are scary. He looks like he is dying...these media snapshots seem to be all focused on what he is wearing...why doesn't any news source pick up on the fact that he appears to be on death's doorstep? If he were a "beloved" star, I guess shit like his need for hospice care would be a concern (like when the first pictures of Liz Taylor in a wheel chair came out).
Personally I think he looks kinda sickly. Hope he hasn't contracted anything...or maybe I'm wrong and it's just age getting to the batty old fruit.
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I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
~Mitch Hedberg
I prefer my gays doing splits on top of pianos. Try some of this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=592MkMV-Uog
4-3-2-1!
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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other). - MK
I can't look at these without hearing his voice yelling at me to MOVE! Wheezy old queen.
damn, he looks like one of those little pageant girls.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
At first glance I thought that Barbara Bush had died her hair and gotten a neck reduction.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
This man needs a reality show! How fun it would be to watch his inspired nuttiness once a week.
Well good for you Richard. Finally coming out of the closet in the most flaming, drag queen, ghey way ever.
Must be a huge load of your fac...errr, shoulder.
He looks like he escaped from an asylum in these photos. Frail, demented and pathetic.
And that support hose! I wonder if it's for hiding varicose veins.
*high fives sweetas back*
Oh yeah.
PICS PLZ
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't hit back, just keep thrusting. Make that transfer, bitch!- MK 7/26/11
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 9:25am.
Jacko I thought you rocked it. Those legs!! *swooooon* ♥
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lmao!!!
*waves at Eebil*
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Submitted by guest on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 8:50am.
Submitted by You_Complete_Me. on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 8:30am.
"More cuntiness puhlease & thankyou!"
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Lol! I guess I'm saving the artillery for more worthy (IMO) subjects ;-)
Bitch's hair is thinning terribly, though.
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"okayyy lets not make a goddess out of Maria Shiver now. It's from her bitch face that she is a cunt." - cuntwhore (2011-08-08)
Jacko I thought you rocked it. Those legs!! *swooooon* ♥
Good morning gutter sluts!
My friend met him on the streets of New Orleans years ago. It was 1am, she said "omg it's you, it's really you!" and he ran up to her, picked her up and spun around with her saying "it's really really YOU!" She really loved him because she used his workouts to lose a lot of weight (still off today) so I gave her a pass on judging her. Lol
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Curtsy, motherfuckers! MK
This is your future, Anderson Cooper.
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What kind of fuckery is this?