What Really Needs Saving Is This Bitch's Hairline
It was very gracious of The Real Housewives of New Jersey's Juicy Delicious and Theresa Giudice to donate the money* InTouch paid them for their fake second wedding pictures to help their relatives at the Save the Gorillas Sanctuary, but she really should've used that money to pay a professional who won't fix a short sale wig to the top of her head with slow-drying carpenter's glue. That hairline looks like the crusty edges of a lasagna that was baked in a way too small dish. Just crusty, thirsty and jagged for no reason.
Theresa, please dab a little marinara sauce on your hairline so that one of your hyperactive gremlins can nibble the foolery out of it. That way it can sort of look like something that came from nature.
* They didn't do that.
via ONTD
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She had bangs this season, it looked a lot better IMO
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
You all are going to rip me to shreads but I love Milania (troll comment) I don't know wh but I think her wild behavio is funny. With four kids one is bound to be the wild one. She was climbing at the store and she said to her mom "I am over by you" and she was by her mom but she was climbing on the freezers. She is mean but funny. Look at the mess she is raises in. Give em hell Milania.
You would almost expect those two gargoyles' honkers to genetically cancel out either of the daughters having a nose at all.
Butt-ugly, every last one of them.
Hydrangeas already loathe Madge since her face reminds them of the hairless albino woodchucks that decapitate them at the stem
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 12:59pm.
Those fuckers wouldn't know class if it gave them a rimjob. Weren't they broke like two seconds ago?
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lolol brilliant. and yeah, I thought Juicy was working at a pizza joint or something? and/or recently in jail for bankruptcy fraud?
Either way, an over-the-top tacky-ass fugfest wedding is JUST THE THING to revive their floundering marriage.
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"Fuck that guy for thinking anyone and everyone should want to do Glee."
- Dave Grohl
The last thing I would be renewing after a bankruptcy is my marriage vows ! Shit. On top of it this loud drunk made it known on national television that she was the one that begged him to come back to her -not the other way around -after an initial break up prior to marrying the first time. This guy is a POS. And to make matters worse - he certainly doesnt seem to support her when it comes to making amends with her brother. Jackass.
He is vulgar and obnoxious. She's no prize but I think even she could do better than that. And Melissa? Please. The only reason she's with 4ft 11 in. JOEY is for the dough. It's all she ever talks about ..$$ ... so that's an easy observation. IMO. How long before she copies Theresa and renews her own vows? Next season?
Submitted by MsMeggin on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 4:08pm.
Are you an idiot? "She makes a fool of herself by staying with him." 1. They have children to raise. 2. No one is ever going to touch her again. She is another man's baby Momma.
Her kids are hideous looking.
Joe is starting to get really obnoxious. She's making a fool of herself by staying with him. At first I was annoyed by Melissa and Joe (Teresa's brother) but now I think they are the normal ones!
oh whatthefuck to all this about what "colors" one can wear or not wear, weddings, labor day, fall, winter, summer, etc.,?!!
stop perpetuating the bullshit. let people wear whatever color they want. no wonder we have problems with gay marriage, equality and real stuff like that. -we can't even get the fuck over dictating colors on each other!
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
This just in from the College of Psychiatrists & Health Professionals of America: A wedding won't save your relationship. Dumbass.
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One question: Does hubbie get to renew his Bachelor Party with strippers and extra services?
I find this renewal of vows thing, a whole lot of crap and very tacky. Then it's like a cancer, cuz' all other wives in the group have to have one too.
I would never remind my hubbie the day he had to give up all other pussy!
A great dinner and a few hours at Mitchell Brothers (strip club in San Fran) is all a happy couple needs.
These "girls" need to grow up.
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It’s just like Hillary said about Barry:
"It would take a willing suspension of disbelief, to buy what he’s selling."
Juicy is either drunk or hungover on every single episode of RHONJ.
He also is clearly not attracted to "Tre" nor does he seem to like his children very much, although looking at the attitudes of Gia and two of the other ones, I can't say I blame him.
Only one of the girls (Gabriella) escaped Teresa's hideous genes and she also appears to be a lot nicer than the other three hellions.
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Dark-sided!
i wish i was invited to this circus...i would of started a drinking game, everytime teresa yelled.."MILANIAAAAAAAAA", do a shot.....that child is a freakin terror and i love her!!! LOL
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"low self esteem is a bitch"...
I'll play devil's advocate and say maybe, MAYBE Bravo footed the bill for this second wedding. it offers some juicy chances for drama.
That said, they will either divorce or have a band-aid baby. Probably the latter.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by BorgQueen: "On another note, I never heard a white person being called a monkey/gorilla until this chick came on the scene."
You must be too young to remember Danny from New Kids On The Block, then. We used to call him "Gorilla Boy". Google him. I just did and now my kids want to know what's so funny.
If I was getting married and my bride to be showed up wearing that, I'd leave her at the altar. The end.
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"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11
This reminds me of my best friend who is 45, I love to pieces but is clearly out of her mind. She married her boy toy this past Friday and I was not able to make it to the civil ceremony. She dressed in white. I had no choice, but to give a little chuckle.
Her husband, not only looks like her son, but can be her son. 18 years is a teenage pregnancy in my book.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Cappy! ♥
I can imagine her hideously ugly sister in law, Melissa, is reading these comments pissing herself right now. Theresa may be a tacky gorilla-headed bitch, but my God, Melissa is ugly. All that money and she can't do anything with that huge, masculine nose? I don't get it. She spent $10k on tits, but she can't bother with the nose?
The Real Housewives franchise is the work of satanic forces and Andy Cohen has signed his soul away long time ago.
You guys are so right! So mos def looks like a gorilla! I love it.
can this bitch get any TACKIER??
MK, that was some excellent prose!
Fuck these people.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
The divorce will happen 6 months to a year after this ape fest, Gosselin style.
Ignore bostonidiot61. He's a well-known misogynist/tattoo-hating Democrat Lohan sympathizer posing as a gay man.
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Put on your lip gloss, plump your chichis and let's get back to the main event.
~ Michael K
jeebus h christ enough with these fucking reality trolls. i hate them all. why do people watch this shit?
This ugly piece of shit getting married in white.
WHO THE FUCK DOES SHE THINK SHE'S KIDDING?????
Did I mention she's ugly?
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Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.
Submitted by Mrs. Voorhees on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 1:36pm.
I saw that. *HORRIFYING*
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
She is by far my favorite on any reality show. Now I have to find out when it starts again (I've probably missed it). I liked her ever since she lifted the dinner table and spilled everyone's wine and food. She seemed genuinely hurt and disrespected.
This trick's one-head has always scared me. And don't get me started on those unfortunate-looking children.
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"It's all fun and farts until somebody gets punched." -MK
"GREEN MILE MOTHERFUCKERS! JOHN COFFEY HELP US!" --urmomma, 8/24/11
If you're gonna spend many thousands of dollars on that monstrosity of a dress, why not make sure it fucking fits!? Ugh, I can't stand it. The bodice should be at least four inches higher at the top. If she moves, her fucking nipples are going to be exposed. On second thought, she probably wanted it that way. All the better to show off her fake "bubbies".
Submitted by charlie loves tiger on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 1:33pm.
"this chick needs some bangs"
The type that runs all the way down to her chin?
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Did anyone see this story about chimps seeing sunlight after 30+ years?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2034439/Free-Lab-chimps-hug-laug...
Heartbreaking....
On another note, I never heard a white person being called a monkey/gorilla until this chick came on the scene.
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51+16 = LOVE
Submitted by REDMOND on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 12:53pm.
"GIVE ME A PIECE OF PIZZA YOU OLD TROLL!" Best line in Real Housewives history!!!
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And that was the 4 yr saying that. ROTFLMAO.
@UncleBrain - Basketball Wives is too much. Those bitches are hood.
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51+16 = LOVE
this chick needs some bangs
Submitted by TOPANGA on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 1:18pm.
Submitted by boston61 on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 1:12pm. She cannot leave him. The chose to make what 4 babies. End of story. The marriage must continue. Once the babies are born it is totally getto to end a marriage
Its "totally ghetto" to end a marriage after the babies are born? Umm what exactly is that suppose to mean?! lol. I swear,it seems like the new posters on this site are getting more ignorant by the day
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Well DUH, it's obviously a lot better for the kids to see mommy placating her painful unhappiness with booze after daddy finishes beating the shit out of her. But a DIVORCE?? What about the sanctity of marriage?
THINK OF THE CHILDREN
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"Most people are average, neither black nor white. They're gray. A dirty shade of gray." - Dmitri Shostakovich
Don't know who in the bloody hell this woman ? is..... Are we sure it's not a gorilla of some sort?
what the hell man i thought this drip bag was fking bankrupt
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Topanga - boston has serious mommy issues. Me thinks he wasn't breastfed or coddled enough.
Any woman who DARES have a child without a husband is a piece of shit, trash.
In his opinion.
Submitted by boston61 on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 1:12pm. She cannot leave him. The chose to make what 4 babies. End of story. The marriage must continue. Once the babies are born it is totally getto to end a marriage
Its "totally ghetto" to end a marriage after the babies are born? Umm what exactly is that suppose to mean?! lol. I swear,it seems like the new posters on this site are getting more ignorant by the day
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Wed, 09/07/2011 - 1:10pm.
I was over at this chicks house and she watches that shit... I saw the episode where one of them spent the weekend with Ocho Cinco (LOL!)... then they went to dinner for some other chicks bday and one of them admitted to fucking another ones husband and shit got REAL! yea, they crazy.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
She cannot leave him. The chose to make what 4 babies. End of story. The marriage must continue. Once the babies are born it is totally getto to end a marriage.
I'd like to punch TheresER in her fucking adam's apple... and helmet hair is not the look.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Bitch has hardcore Planet Of The Apes hairline (though the ape looks much better than her, evidently)
http://ll-media.tmz.com/2011/05/16/0602-teresa-9436-0045-credit.jpg
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"Most people are average, neither black nor white. They're gray. A dirty shade of gray." - Dmitri Shostakovich
Two months max before they announce either a divorce or another pregnancy.
Is anyone watching Basketball wifes? I accidentally got stuck on one of the episodes and maybe it`s because i have never watched it before, but Lord, what a trainwreck. They beat the Jersey hos by miles.
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
What? no sideeye from Louis up in the corner. The hairline alone deserves that.
WHO THE FUCK CARES? CAN'T WAIT TIL THESE FAKE GUIDO FUCKS ARE ON THE STREETS GOING THROUGH MY SHIT FILLED TRASH AND FINISHING MY LEFT OVER HOT POCKETS! THESE FUCKS HAVE NO MONEY AND LIVE LIKE FUCKING ROYALTY SO I HOPE THEY DIE AND SELL THOSE UGLY MONKEY LOOKING KIDS TO THE FUCKING ZOO!
SpiceDong, I know, right?? SO come hither. :)
"That hairline looks like the crusty edges of a lasagna that was baked in a way too small dish. Just crusty, thirsty and jagged for no reason."
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LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!
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"okayyy lets not make a goddess out of Maria Shiver now. It's from her bitch face that she is a cunt." - cuntwhore (2011-08-08)