ASkars Is Fighting The Hot For His Art
With his pubes of a cherub locks smelling like Nice 'N Easy and his mighty viking oar legs covered in dad jeans from Mervyn's going out of business sale, ASkars is embracing the homely to play a normal looking person in Disconnect which shot scenes in Yonkers, NY today. Yes, it's obvious that ASkars is trying to Charlize Theron his way to an Oscar by camouflaging his natural SWEDISH GOD OF THE GODS hotness with the wardrobe of a father of three you'd stand behind at Chili's To Go, but I'm glad he did. Because this is some shit that should make you swoon out of your reasonably-priced cotton panties.
This ASkars probably smells like Palmolive soap (because the soap dispenser full of Dial in his shower ran out), only stays in motels where he can use his AAA card, still uses a Thomas Guide, always asks the waiter at Carrows if they have specials and only answers the phone by saying "Yell-o!" May the viking gods slap me in the loins with a thunderbolt for saying this, but I prefer my ASkars served like this. This is some realness I can get into.
I mean, this ASkars' idea of a hot Saturday night is probably sharing a bowl of Jiffy Pop and a bottle of Chateau Diana while reading Joyful Noise poems together before getting into some lights off missionary sex on his Jennifer Convertible. How can you fucking not prefer this ASkars?!
when he has his usual blonde hair all i can think of is nazi germany/hitler youth camp.
I love Mrs Patrick Campbell, so funny! As for Askars, he is an annoying homosexual, closet case. Get over it ladies he does not want your panty juices
This guys is soooo painfully average. I think people think he's hot because of his character. He's the male equivalent of Christina Hendricks - hot on the show but not off.
It wasn't much of a battle.
he can still get it! actually, I am with MK - I prefer him this way....the sweats really take the asshole vibe out of him. its hard to be on your high-nord-horse judging bitches when you are wearing new balances
Submitted by Wood Dragon on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 6:31am.
Ya know without the makeup and Tv star thing. This guy couldn't get laid in a Turkish whorehouse with a 500 euro note hangin out of his zipper
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Thank you!
85% of this dude's appeal is his soft porn shitshow.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
wood dragon love the screaming avi....
"OH YOU FANCY HUH" - KA
Wood Dragon lol!
u r correct, but the creature does not care, sex is frequently not on the mind at all......imagine a breed of men like that. incorruptible in some ways not like some french or italians.
"OH YOU FANCY HUH" - KA
Ya know without the makeup and Tv star thing. This guy couldn't get laid in a Turkish whorehouse with a 500 euro note hangin out of his zipper
Here's a tribute to the boy's father Stellan Skarsgard
Have looked at faces across the table like this for a long time. Not the pretty face, something else faces that always have intelligence and thought behind them like Bergman.
link -amazing statement about film making
"OH YOU FANCY HUH" - KA
*screams with laughter at the mention of "mervyns"...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Submitted by joanie balogna on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 11:40pm.
I think mabe the probem for some of you is you don't watch TrueBlood? Maybe Askars looks are average but Eric Northman (his character on TrueBlood), is SUPER cool & sexy,and that's what makes him hot, so when he's not Eric he's kinda blah? Maybe? (except I still would, forever, because of Eric.) but really,even on the show when he lost his memory for like two episodes and was being all sweet and un-Eric-y he was annoying and not hot, even though physically he's the same guy.
Mystery solved!
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THIS!!! Whenever I see him on True Blood my panties do a somersault and then some, but all the candid photos of him are like- meh.
Have you seen his dad?
A reasonably attractive homosexual who makes sure, in these carefully-posed publicity photos,to display her wedding ring to remind everyone that she is a 'real man'!
I think mabe the probem for some of you is you don't watch TrueBlood? Maybe Askars looks are average but Eric Northman (his character on TrueBlood), is SUPER cool & sexy,and that's what makes him hot, so when he's not Eric he's kinda blah? Maybe? (except I still would, forever, because of Eric.) but really,even on the show when he lost his memory for like two episodes and was being all sweet and un-Eric-y he was annoying and not hot, even though physically he's the same guy.
Mystery solved!
Awww man, he looks like a guy in my brother's fraternity who always smelled bad and had a belching issue. :(
It's gonna take some hot pictures to get that out of my head. DAMMIT
It must've required some effort to create that puffy-eyed, pale, kinda grey-dirty eastern European look.
Like he lingered too long on the Chernobyl bus tour.
.
.
He is going the way of all tall, thin (aging) Swedish men - not bad but not great either. And yes, I would!
"Yell-o!" I too would take ASkars with the dad jeans as well MK, those fuckers come off ;)
*Inimitable V*
Don't listen to them, Askars. They are mean. I still like your lingonberries. Urs 4eva, hotpocket
"probably smells like Palmolive soap (because the soap dispenser full of Dial in his shower ran out), only stays in motels where he can use his AAA card, still uses a Thomas Guide, always asks the waiter at Carrows if they have specials and only answers the phone by saying "Yell-o!"
baaaaaaaaahahahahahhaha....I am not worthy.
Hahahaha! MK, you're the best. This made me LOL hardcore, especially the Mervyn's and AAA references.
I haven't commented in a while and I noticed the other day that there is another Grace Jones. Ah well.
Apart from the dorky haircut, he looks better here imo than I've ever seen him. I much prefer guys with darker hair than blond, though.
What am I missing here? This guy looks emaciated and pale. And his hair looks dirty. Take about 50 lbs off of Matthew Perry and add 2 inches of hair and you got this guy.
I watched about 3 minutes of True Blood last week, and I couldn't with the accents.
Then again, I am convinced that there will never be a vampire show as good as Buffy the Vampire Slayer was. *sigh*
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Just for lines like this, you should march your little cha cha heels up to the Committee and say "Give me my Pulitzer Bitchez!!"
"True story: That cat was an emaciated, hairless, starving alley orphan until Salma Hayek fed it leche from her world-saving UNICEF chichis."
You are the funniest Blog on the Internet. Serious.
I keep seeing this headline as fighting the hot fart.
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"I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done." -Lucille Ball-sy
Kenny G - Archived!
good laffs thx all bye
"OH YOU FANCY HUH" - KA
Did anyone see this with ASkars Melancholia/a>
Yeah I saw it. Couldn't for the life of me figure out what the movie is supposed to be about other than a wedding and another planet. I also thought it was really random that Keifer Sutherland is in it.
Submitted by Kenneth G on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 7:20pm.
Lately, I've been dreaming of Paula Deen's vagina....
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LOL Spectacular post!!!! :D
Don't know who he is, but if he's single and ready to mingle like I am...let me know!!
Chloroform, anybody?
Submitted by Kenneth G on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 7:20pm.
We kiss; she belches; "bologna and cheese puffs", I think to myself.
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LOLOLOLOL
GOTDAYUM Kenny, you writes so purty jus like Shakespeer.
Submitted by Kenneth G on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 7:20pm.
Lately, I've been dreaming of Paula Deen's vagina....
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Needs more butter.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 6:42pm.
It would take 10 minutes of frantic rummaging in those dad jeans before you stood a chance of touching peen.
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"Rummaging" made me LOL, that word just gives me teh gigglez.
Submitted by poppy1 on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 7:11pm.
He is being uglied up for a part. Normally he looks different from this. It may not be your cup of tea, but seems kind of ridiculous to bash the guy for being in costume and makeup/hair for a role he is playing.
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I do not know if this isn't his average looks, I mean, I can see that the clothes he's styled down, sure, but his normal features are what they are, right? Just like this?
Unless make-up artists managed to uglify his nature features? Is it possible? To me, he looks like he usually does in the face anyway and it seems like his candid photos.
I've nothing against A Skars, despite the fact that I don't find him hot. I have not watched True Blood since the second season, when I just couldn't stand the shit anymore. Strangely, as the show's appeal went down, it seems the dudes stopped being hot too.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 6:42pm.
It would take 10 minutes of frantic rummaging in those dad jeans before you stood a chance of touching peen.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Thanks Becks, that made my day...
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"...Foster may have cracked under the pressures of being the world's leading Gordon Ramsay-lookalike-sex-dwarf..."
Another stellar posting by MK, but still, this guy doesn't make any of my parts tingle. *shrugs*
Submitted by Kenneth G on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 7:20pm.
Lately, I've been dreaming of Paula Deen's vagina....
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*sigh* me too
nice to see you Saxman!
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"...Foster may have cracked under the pressures of being the world's leading Gordon Ramsay-lookalike-sex-dwarf..."
Submitted by snowball on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 7:15pm.
We have actually seen him before you know.
Hahahaha
I don't think there's any hot to fight, to be honest.
Butterface if I ever saw one.
Submitted by ritzyroxie on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 6:55pm.
I still don't get what he does for people. If I passed him on the street I'd hold my invisible purse close to my ass and move into the Pick'n Save as fast as I could.
LMAO!! That is exactly how I feel about Jude Law.
Lately, I've been dreaming of Paula Deen's vagina....
I'm in Ms. Deen's kitchen. There's a thick, lusty mist hanging over the room. My nostrils, now flaring with passion, are filled with the heady aroma of lard-braised ham hocks sizzling away in the deep-fat fryer. Through the haze, I can now make out the luscious outline of none other than Paula Deen. I go to her.
She's wearing a sultry over-sized denim button up with a Western embroidered collar, and not much else. We kiss; she belches; "bologna and cheese puffs", I think to myself. "And Miracle Whip. Now I'm definitely tasting Miracle Whip." My loins are aching for this magnificent woman.
I reach for the elasticized waistband of her Hanes Her Ways, eager to take in her glorious womanhood. After a struggle, I manage to wrestle the behemoth undergarment down to Paula's cankles. I look up. I gasp. I'm stunned to see that she was totally shaven, other than an apparently Aquanetted tuft of long, silvery pubes. Her vagina...let's face it, it's like the fucking meat counter at Katz's deli. As I'm taking it all it, I notice her vagina is dripping...but all is not as it seems. With a sickening plop, a half-melted stick of butter plunges from between her legs and lands on the floor. Paula giggles girlishly. I feel my manhood throbbing and hard beneath my khaki Bermuda shorts.
Paula kicks her panties off and rips open her blouse, revealing what appear to be bacon nipple tassles. She picks up a breast, brings it to her quivering lips, and bites off a tassle, moaning in ecstasy as she savors the satisfying crunch. She repeats the process with the other breast, and saunters seductively to the deep fryer, pulling the basket of hocks up from the bubbling pool of liquid fat. Paula looks at me, her eyes glazed over, almost scary.
"Fill me with the ham, Kenny", she groans.
I'm taken aback, yet bizarrely aroused. Still, concerned for her safety, I object.
"But...but it...it just came out of the fryer...", I start.
Paula cuts me off, growing visibly agitated.
"Just do it!", she bellows.
Feeling overwhelmed by animalistic urges and mildly frightened for my own safety, I grab the tongs and reach for the crackling hot pork ..............................................
It's amazing how slight hair changes and bad clothes can make such a huge difference.
Submitted by poppy1 on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 7:11pm.
He is being uglied up for a part. Normally he looks different from this.
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Yes, normally he's more corpsey, derpey and Chester the Molester-ish.
We have actually seen him before you know.
He is being uglied up for a part. Normally he looks different from this. It may not be your cup of tea, but seems kind of ridiculous to bash the guy for being in costume and makeup/hair for a role he is playing.
Submitted by ritzyroxie on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 6:55pm.
I still don't get what he does for people. If I passed him on the street I'd hold my invisible purse close to my ass and move into the Pick'n Save as fast as I could.
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don't know. i have yet to met an attractive scandinavian person. they are way overrated. i know there must be good looking scandanavian people out there, ive just never see one or met one. well, maybe tiger woods ex. that is about the only one i can think of. and she is just cookie cutter cute. nothing to rave about.
"This ASkars probably smells like Palmolive soap (because the soap dispenser full of Dial in his shower ran out), only stays in motels where he can use his AAA card,"
Holy hell MK how DO you know so much about Sweeeeedes? I have been black irish married to this sweartogod v same man who dresses this very same way for faaaaaaaaaar toooo f'n long but that's how the pigheaded irish roll.....
what you did not mention was the way these creatures tend to smell under the palmolive from the things they eat....eeeeeels and herrrrring and brains in jelly....
"OH YOU FANCY HUH" - KA
We're conditioned by the showbiz media to see hotness where there is none. Few celebs are truly exceptional looking. Most are within the realm of average.
Is it sad that I use "Yell-o" when answering the phone?
I can't with Askars. Possibly because the Bosworthless was with him. She destroyed Orlando for me when I was 14. Stupid witch. Well, it was really the shitty ass movies that did him in BUT STILLLL!!!