8 Reasons Why I Am In Love Maurice Sendak
Maurice Sendak is best known for writing Where The Wild Things Are? and now he's best known to me for making me say "Andy Rooney, who?!" out loud. 83-year-old Maurice made my soul coo out 8 crusty and chapped hearts during his interview with The Guardian about writing children books, hating bitches and hating bitches some more. Here are just 8 things that Maurice is growling at (alternate title: 8 reasons why I want to make children with an 83-year-old grand cunt):
E-books: "I hate them. It's like making believe there's another kind of sex. There isn't another kind of sex. There isn't another kind of book! A book is a book is a book."
NYC: "You get pushed and harassed and people grope you. It's too tumultuous, it's too crazy!"
Rupert Murdoch: "His name should be what everything is called now. (Reporter: But doesn't he publish your books?) Yes! Harpers. He owns Harpers and I guess the rest of the world, too. He represents how bad things have become. But I don't know a better house. They're all in trouble. They're all terrible."
American politics: "These Republican schnooks would be comical if they weren't not funny."
Salman Rushdie: "That flaccid fuckhead. He was detestable. I called up the Ayatollah, nobody knows that."
Roald Dahl: "The cruelty in his books is off-putting. Scary guy. I know he's very popular but what's nice about this guy? He's dead, that's what's nice about him."
Stephen King: "Bullshit."
Gwyneth Paltrow: "I can't stand her."
These quotes should be published into a hardcover book with illustrations and read to every single child before bedtime. This is mandatory.