8 Reasons Why I Am In Love Maurice Sendak
Maurice Sendak is best known for writing Where The Wild Things Are? and now he's best known to me for making me say "Andy Rooney, who?!" out loud. 83-year-old Maurice made my soul coo out 8 crusty and chapped hearts during his interview with The Guardian about writing children books, hating bitches and hating bitches some more. Here are just 8 things that Maurice is growling at (alternate title: 8 reasons why I want to make children with an 83-year-old grand cunt):
E-books: "I hate them. It's like making believe there's another kind of sex. There isn't another kind of sex. There isn't another kind of book! A book is a book is a book."NYC: "You get pushed and harassed and people grope you. It's too tumultuous, it's too crazy!"
Rupert Murdoch: "His name should be what everything is called now. (Reporter: But doesn't he publish your books?) Yes! Harpers. He owns Harpers and I guess the rest of the world, too. He represents how bad things have become. But I don't know a better house. They're all in trouble. They're all terrible."
American politics: "These Republican schnooks would be comical if they weren't not funny."
Salman Rushdie: "That flaccid fuckhead. He was detestable. I called up the Ayatollah, nobody knows that."
Roald Dahl: "The cruelty in his books is off-putting. Scary guy. I know he's very popular but what's nice about this guy? He's dead, that's what's nice about him."
Stephen King: "Bullshit."
Gwyneth Paltrow: "I can't stand her."
These quotes should be published into a hardcover book with illustrations and read to every single child before bedtime. This is mandatory.
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Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 5:28pm.
Me too! Are you thinking of St Claires? It was similar to MT. I loved Mallory Towers, but in primary school I was firmly Team St Claires, haha
I remember the sporty girl (clearly a lesbian) who liked to "box your ears" and she ended up failing a class.
As for Dahl, I loved Matilda and The Witches, but his short story "The Swan" from The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar and Six More was fucked up beyond belief. Shit messed me up for life...almost as much as The Giver *shudders*
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Submitted by Bjork You on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 5:24pm.
My favourite British/Irish books and stories are all from the late 1800s; my favourite American works are by weird fiction writers from the early 20th century.
So I read shit by a lot of racist assholes.
Bram Stoker, Sheridan Le Fanu, HP Lovecraft and so on. Shameless racists, but great writers. The best I can do is give a mean side-eye to that shit and accept that their attitudes reflected the time period they existed in.
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 5:17pm.
I had a prof. in college who despised Dahl, saying he was a total Jew hater, black hater, etc. Anyone know anything about that?
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Well his family have had a recent bollocking from the press here in England, for asking the public to donate money, towards having Dahl's writing shed moved to his museum, even though his estate makes a lot in royalties.
Luci Sam
I adored Blyton as a kid, I read EVERYTHING!!! (not to mention Mallory Towers, one boarding school series with twins that I cant remember- something with a Hill?? and the Trebizon boarding school series.)
Anyway, now that I look back and read what she wrote...!
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 5:17pm.
I had a prof. in college who despised Dahl, saying he was a total Jew hater, black hater, etc.
Anyone know anything about that?
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If I stopped reading a book or watching a film or doing anything with the arts because the creator was an anti-Semite, racist, sexist, homophobe, etc., I'd be left reading what Jesus scrolled on some two-ply, brown sheeted, organic toilet paper. Patricia Highsmith was a notorious anti-Semite and all out bitch, but I still love those Ripley novels. Willem de Kooning was kind of a shitty dad. And Edith Wharton had some snotty ass things to say, too. Oh, and...
I think we should make up rumours. I heard that Joyce Carol Oates wears a strap on in bed.
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 5:17pm.
I had a prof. in college who despised Dahl, saying he was a total Jew hater, black hater, etc. Anyone know anything about that?
I can't speak on Dahl specifically, but a lot of story writers from that era had pretty doubtful racial views. C.S.Lewis, Enid Blyton, and I won't be surprised if Dahl did too. Never really got into him to be honest.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 5:14pm.
precociousmagpie on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 5:08pm.
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Guys, he's always been a cantankerous curmudgeon. This isn't new behavior for him. He was one of my teachers in college, and he was a crabby, spiteful queen from the get-go, trashing every other illustrator, every other children's book author. He hates EVERYONE. It was a great class
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Really? *That* must have been quite a class. Was he bitchy to the students? I hope not. Trashing other adults is one thing but making students feel like shit is another story.
------------He really wasn't, not unless they deserved it. He hated laziness--rightly so--and was far more likely to tar and feather you if it was obvious that you just didn't try very hard.
I like cranky people, always have, so I got on with him well.
Also, He HATES children. He once said it was completely idiotic for people who *have* children to think they can suddenly write books for them, and when asked how a childless person could write them, he said, "I WAS a child. I write for children because I go back to being a child, not because I think I'm imparting wisdom. Writing for kids from an adult perspective makes no sense at all." I have to agree with him. Nothing like a classroom packed with "mommies" who now think they've got what it takes to fart out the next "Velveteen Rabbit".
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 5:17pm.
The only thing I know about Roald Dahl really is that at the start of WWII he was sent to America by the British government to spy and urge FDR to get America involved.
Submitted by Bjork You on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 5:19pm.
Submitted by Poopele on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 5:09pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe: Rushdie is the one exception to the rule that intelligent men are sessy. How he got Padma Lakshmi, I'll never know.
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Because Arabs are good about always eating their dates.
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OMG!! LOL!!!!! YOU ARE SO FUCKING...dumb
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*quietly snickering*
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"A book is a book is a book"~Maurice Sendak
Submitted by Poopele on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 5:09pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe: Rushdie is the one exception to the rule that intelligent men are sessy. How he got Padma Lakshmi, I'll never know.
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Because Arabs are good about always eating their dates.
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OMG!! LOL!!!!! YOU ARE SO FUCKING...dumb.
I had a prof. in college who despised Dahl, saying he was a total Jew hater, black hater, etc.
Anyone know anything about that?
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 5:10pm.
Well thanks for that history lesson on him. I hadn't heard of him being a crusty-fuck until now!
Did he teach some kind of Lit class?
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Sort of; children's book illustration. On days when he was mean to us, I used to daydream about telling him I didn't like "Where The Wild Things Are" all that much. But he was mostly alright, and really a good teacher. No bullshitting around, as you can well imagine.
Well, at least I know this is God's will.
=sessy=
And, after the interview was done, he wandered off, muttering "Damn kids; get off my lawn!" Later, he was seen walking the streets, yelling at clouds & trees...
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"There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
He is stupendous! Where has he been all my life? I want him to be my lovah.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 4:32pm.
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hahaha I logged in specifically so I can make swoony eyes at your avie! James Marsters is soooo my man! le sigh
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"Peachy with a side of keen, that would be me"
precociousmagpie on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 5:08pm.
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Guys, he's always been a cantankerous curmudgeon. This isn't new behavior for him. He was one of my teachers in college, and he was a crabby, spiteful queen from the get-go, trashing every other illustrator, every other children's book author. He hates EVERYONE. It was a great class
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Really? *That* must have been quite a class. Was he bitchy to the students? I hope not. Trashing other adults is one thing but making students feel like shit is another story.
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"A book is a book is a book"~Maurice Sendak
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 5:08pm.
He was one of my teachers in college
I'm so jealous of you right now. I'd love a cuppa and a chat with him.
My favourite: "Stephen King - Bullshit". Hahahaha.
He needs to STFU about Roald Dahl, his short stories are amazing. And I'm not talking about his children's stories. I agree with just about everything else he spat out, especially about Goopy.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 5:02pm.
Rushdie is the one exception to the rule that intelligent men are sessy. How he got Padma Lakshmi, I'll never know.
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I read somewhere that he used to shag Nigella Lawson back in the day. Jammy bastard.
Well thanks for that history lesson on him. I hadn't heard of him being a crusty-fuck until now!
Did he teach some kind of Lit class?
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 5:08pm.
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 5:01pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 4:45pm.
I am not on the love train with this guy at all.
I hate old people who start saying what they really think after 80 yrs of being kiss asses in the world.
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Total co-sign. If only this snarky wise-asses were so, when they were younger. Then I'd be impressed.
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Guys, he's always been a cantankerous curmudgeon. This isn't new behavior for him. He was one of my teachers in college, and he was a crabby, spiteful queen from the get-go, trashing every other illustrator, every other children's book author. He hates EVERYONE. It was a great class!
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I can't believe you had this guy as a professor...LUCKY!
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She appears to be under the delusion that she is so hot that she can go around sans fards. She needs the fards.-Deb 7/29/11
Submitted by joe shmoe
Rushdie is the one exception to the rule that intelligent men are sessy. How he got Padma Lakshmi, I'll never know.
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Because Arabs are good about always eating their dates.
I'VE FOUND MY MOVING BUDDY
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 5:01pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 4:45pm.
I am not on the love train with this guy at all.
I hate old people who start saying what they really think after 80 yrs of being kiss asses in the world.
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Total co-sign. If only this snarky wise-asses were so, when they were younger. Then I'd be impressed.
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Guys, he's always been a cantankerous curmudgeon. This isn't new behavior for him. He was one of my teachers in college, and he was a crabby, spiteful queen from the get-go, trashing every other illustrator, every other children's book author. He hates EVERYONE. It was a great class!
^^^Ahem^^^
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 5:03pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 4:45pm.
I am not on the love train with this guy at all.
I hate old people who start saying what they really think after 80 yrs of being kiss asses in the world.
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Was he a suck-up when he was younger? I only know him from those books.
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"A book is a book is a book"~Maurice Sendak
I recommend reading the entire interview. Fascinating, with some major sads thrown in. He was with the same guy for fifty years!
Sarah Smile
This guy is crusty and nasty. I love him and I want to hear more from him. He should have is own talk show so he could tell the world like it is.
Salman Rushdie fucking sucks.
Rushdie is the one exception to the rule that intelligent men are sessy. How he got Padma Lakshmi, I'll never know.
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"A book is a book is a book"~Maurice Sendak
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 4:45pm.
I am not on the love train with this guy at all.
I hate old people who start saying what they really think after 80 yrs of being kiss asses in the world.
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Total co-sign. If only these snarky wise-asses were so, when they were younger. Then I'd be impressed. I have a close relative who is now in her I-don't-give-a-fuck phase in her early 80s. But in her earlier life she allowed all sorts of shit to be done and said and sat and did nothing. Now everyone thinks she's awesomely kick-ass and I think "really? now that you're 82? What a pioneer!"
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Dark-sided!
According to the article, Rushdie gave him a bad review in the NYT.
Also, I was disappointed with Rushdie's captain obvious performance on last weeks Real Time with Bill Maher.
He should be Andy Rooney's replacement. STAT!!!!!!!
testing...
Submitted by mike on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 4:52pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 4:42pm
Really, the only book of his that I thought was any good was Midnight's Children, and even that was overlong
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Hmmm..didn't read that one but may give it a try. ;)
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anyone that hates Fishsticks is a pal o' mine!!
I am loving these quotes...especially the one about GOOP.
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"I paid good money to get eaten out" - Samantha Jones
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 4:42pm
Really, the only book of his that I thought was any good was Midnight's Children, and even that was overlong.
well, Laser Cat is now gone. If the new avie pic is the wrong size, will it automatically return to the last avie that was the correct size?
Maurice...WORD! I am now changing my licence plate number to "FAN 4 LIFE"!
O/T: I can't seem to change my avie pic! I delete Laser Cat, then add another pic, but Laser Cat still shows up...any ideas? TIA
MAURICE SENDAK!!!!!!!!!! WELCOME TO DLISTED YOU TASTY BITCH! Excuse me for typing in all KANYES, but this old stunt queen has stolen my heart.
I love this dude, but can we all make sure that the grocery store doesn't sell him rat poison, ammonia, and fertilizer? We don't want to intimidate those Gaddafis and their human-child-tank-shields.
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"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."
-Father Andrés García Torres, inventor of the Catholic Anus Ruler
HAHAHA! Poor Gwyneth. I bet her Mother laughed too.
I am not on the love train with this guy at all.
I hate old people who start saying what they really think after 80 yrs of being kiss asses in the world.
His book sucked, so he has no right criticizing others.
Flaccid fuckhead. I love this person.
Salman Rushdie: "That flaccid fuckhead. He was detestable. I called up the Ayatollah, nobody knows that."
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LOLOLOL!! Flaccid? Hahahaha..I wasted a week of my life reading "The Ground Beneath her Feet"; make that a gas-baggy, flaccid fuckhead.
Classic!
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well hello there
I was with him until he tossed Roald Dahl in there. I LOVED his books. "The Witches" was my favorite book growing up.